One day Chuck Norris was having sex in a semi. A drop of his sperm leaked into the engine, we now know this semi as Optimus Prime.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck norris?
Chuck Norris was never a funny meme.
If you see Chuck Norris, he sees you. If you don't see Chuck Norris, you may only have seconds to live.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, he doesn't get wet, [i]water[/i] gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once having sex in a trailer. Some of his sperm got away and into the fuel tank. We now know this trailer as Optimus Prime.
[b]dont mind the dArray[XX][/b]
sArray[0] = "If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.";
sArray[1] = "There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.";
sArray[2] = "70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.";
sArray[3] = "Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song";
sArray[4] = "Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open";
sArray[5] = "Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip";
sArray[6] = "Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you";
sArray[7] = "Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise";
sArray[8] = "Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. ";
sArray[9] = "Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People";
sArray[10] = "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.";
sArray[11] = "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.";
sArray[12] = "The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.";
sArray[13] = "There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.";
sArray[14] = "Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.";
sArray[15] = "The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.";
sArray[16] = "Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.";
sArray[17] = "Chuck Norris is my Homeboy";
sArray[18] = "Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING";
sArray[19] = "Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.";
sArray[20] = "Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.";
sArray[21] = "Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down";
sArray[22] = "The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably";
sArray[23] = "Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous";
sArray[24] = "If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, Two seconds 'til. After you ask, Two seconds 'til what? he roundhouse kicks you in the face.";
sArray[25] = "The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.";
sArray[26] = "CNN was originally created as the .Chuck Norris Network. to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time..";
sArray[27] = "Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.";
sArray[28] = "Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.";
sArray[29] = "What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.";
sArray[30] = "Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.";
sArray[31] = "Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.";
sArray[32] = "Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.";
sArray[33] = "Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.";
sArray[34] = "Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.";
sArray[35] = "Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.";
sArray[36] = "If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.";
sArray[37] = "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.";
sArray[38] = "Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, Bang!";
sArray[39] = "Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.";
sArray[40] = "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.";
sArray[41] = "Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.";
sArray[42] = "Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.";
sArray[43] = "In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.";
sArray[44] = "Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.";
sArray[45] = "Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.";
sArray[46] = "In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.";
sArray[47] = "Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ..Who has more testicles? contest.. Chuck Norris won by 5.";
sArray[48] = "Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.";
sArray[49] = "When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out..";
sArray[50] = "There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.";
sArray[51] = "Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.";
sArray[52] = "There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.";
sArray[53] = "A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.";
sArray[54] = "When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.";
sArray[55] = "Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)";
sArray[56] = "Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. ";
sArray[57] = "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.";
sArray[58] = "Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.";
sArray[59] = "In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized. ";
sArray[60] = "Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.";
sArray[61] = "If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.";
sArray[62] = "Chuck Norris can divide by zero.";
sArray[63] = "The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.";
sArray[64] = "A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.";
sArray[65] = "Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.";
sArray[66] = "Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.";
sArray[67] = "How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.";
sArray[68] = "Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.";
sArray[69] = "The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.";
sArray[70] = "When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.";
sArray[71] = "If you rearrange the letters in `Chuck Norris`, they also spell ´Crush Rock In´. The words ´with his fists´ are understood.";
sArray[72] = "Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.";
sArray[73] = "Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.";
sArray[74] = " Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.";
sArray[75] = "The original title for Star Wars was ´Skywalker: Texas Ranger´. Starring Chuck Norris.";
sArray[76] = "Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for ´Chuck Norris' basement";
sArray[77] = "The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.";
sArray[78] = "Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.";
sArray[79] = "Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.";
sArray[80] = "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.";
sArray[81] = "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.";
sArray[82] = "The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.";
sArray[83] = "Chuck Norris' Roundhouse kick is so powerful, that on the set of Sidekicks he single-footedly destroyed Jonathan Brandis' Career.";
sArray[84] = "Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.";
sArray[85] = "Chuck Norris can taste lies.";
sArray[86] = "Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.";
sArray[87] = "One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.";
sArray[88] = "Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.";
sArray[89] = "Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.";
sArray[90] = "They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade ´after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine´s ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.";
sArray[91] = "Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.";
sArray[92] = "Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head. ";
sArray[93] = "4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.";
sArray[94] = "Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.";
sArray[95] = "The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.";
sArray[96] = "Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.";
sArray[97] = "With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.";
sArray[98] = "The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.";
sArray[99] = "chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.";
var dArray = new Array();
dArray[0] = "While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.";
dArray[1] = "Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.";
dArray[2] = "When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies";
dArray[3] = "When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.";
dArray[4] = "Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.";
dArray[5] = "Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.'";
dArray[6] = "For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one";
dArray[7] = "Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.";
dArray[8] = "When taking the SAT, write !Chuck Norris ! every answer. You will score over 8000";
dArray[9] = "When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.";
dArray[10] = "On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun";
dArray[11] = "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.";
dArray[12] = "Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!";
dArray[13] = "In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said: Get a job´. That is the story of the universe.";
dArray[14] = "Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.";
dArray[15] = "Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.";
dArray[16] = "Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one..";
dArray[17] = "There is one difference between a rooster and your mom. The rooster says cock-a-doodle doo, your mama says any-cock'll do.";
dArray[18] = "Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.";
dArray[19] = "If you Google search ^^Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked^^ you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.";
dArray[20] = "Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.";
dArray[21] = "Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.";
dArray[22] = "Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.";
dArray[23] = "When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.";
dArray[24] = "Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.";
dArray[25] = "James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.";
dArray[26] = "Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.";
dArray[27] = "Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.";
dArray[28] = "Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.";
dArray[29] = "It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.";
dArray[30] = "Chuck Norris's version of a `chocolate milkshake` is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.";
dArray[31] = "If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.";
dArray[32] = "In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.";
dArray[33] = "Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people. ";
dArray[34] = "Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris";
dArray[35] = "Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.";
dArray[36] = "Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.";
dArray[37] = "Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.";
dArray[38] = "Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.";
dArray[39] = "The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!";
dArray[40] = "Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ^hole^. Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.";
dArray[41] = "Coroners refer to dead people as ABC's.: Already Been Chucked..";
dArray[42] = "To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.";
dArray[43] = "Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?";
dArray[44] = "There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.";
dArray[45] = "Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear."
dArray[46] = "If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?";
dArray[47] = "70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.";
dArray[48] = "Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.";
dArray[49] = "The pie scene in ´American Pie´ is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the ´pie´ was the molten crater of an active volcano.";
dArray[50] = "Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.";
dArray[51] = "Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.";
dArray[52] = "Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.";
dArray[53] = "MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.";
dArray[54] = "Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.";
dArray[55] = "Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.";
dArray[56] = "The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.";
dArray[57] = "Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking. ";
dArray[58] = "It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.";
dArray[59] = "Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.";
dArray[60] = "Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with ´obstruction of justice.´ This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.";
dArray[61] = "Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.";
dArray[62] = "When you say `no one's perfect`, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult." ;
dArray[63] = "Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard." ;
dArray[64] = "182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year." ;
dArray[65] = "Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time. " ;
dArray[66] = "All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face." ;
dArray[67] = "If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.";
dArray[68] = "July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not." ;
dArray[69] = "Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth." ;
dArray[70] = "In the medical community, death is referred to as Chuck Norris Disease.";
dArray[71] = "Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.";
dArray[72] = "If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.";
dArray[73] = "In the Words of Julius Caesar, ´Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris`. Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.";
dArray[74] = "The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.";
dArray[75] = "Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, ´But Chuck Norris isn't black´, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist." ;
dArray[76] = "When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.";
dArray[77] = "Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan." ;
dArray[78] = "Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.";
dArray[79] = "Every time someone uses the word ´intense´, Chuck Norris always replies ``you know what else is intense?`` followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.";
dArray[80] = "As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.";
dArray[81] = "Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.";
dArray[82] = "Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him ´a promising Rookie´.";
dArray[83] = "There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.";
dArray[84] = "President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.";
dArray[85] = "Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing. ";
dArray[86] = "Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.";
dArray[87] = "Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.";
dArray[88] = "Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.";
dArray[89] = "Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.";
dArray[90] = "The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.";
dArray[91] = "Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out. ";
dArray[92] = "A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.";
dArray[93] = "Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun." ;
dArray[94] = "Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.";
dArray[95] = "Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil." ;
dArray[96] = "Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.";
dArray[97] = "When in a bar, you can order a drink called a ´Chuck Norris´. It is also known as a `Bloody Mary`, if your name happens to be Mary.";
dArray[98] = "Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.";
dArray[99] = "Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.";
Chuck Norris is just a man, he has no special abilities and all he does is reads off a script.
[QUOTE=keatinator;19900428]Chuck Norris is just a man, he has no special abilities and all he does is reads off a script.[/QUOTE]
Chuck Norris is watching you now outside. he have a head in he's hand of the previous hater!
[QUOTE=darth-veger;19900519]Chuck Norris is watching you now outside. he have a head in he's hand of the previous hater![/QUOTE]
That's great, I'd love to face him. It should be just absolutely amazingly fun.
Come Chuck Norris, bring it.
[QUOTE=keatinator;19900571]That's great, I'd love to face him. It should be just absolutely amazingly fun.
Come Chuck Norris, bring it.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2008-01/chuck-norris-split-rock.jpg[/img]
i warn ya... :aaaaa:
[QUOTE=darth-veger;19900637][IMG]http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2008-01/chuck-norris-split-rock.jpg[/IMG]
i warn ya... :aaaaa:[/QUOTE]
Thats nothing, I scared my sister so bad she ran out screaming and all I said was "what are you doing" in a calm non threatening voice.
[QUOTE=keatinator;19900703]Thats nothing, I scared my sister so bad she ran out screaming and all I said was "what are you doing" in a calm non threatening voice.[/QUOTE]
my mom shocked one time when i farted. it was loud :banjo:
you are a mean girl..
Gordon Freeman > Chuck Norris.
[QUOTE=darth-veger;19900947]my mom shocked one time when i farted. it was loud :banjo:
you are a mean girl..[/QUOTE]
I know and I love it :P
Chuck Norris facts got really old and died a long time ago. It's not funny.
Chuck Norris waved to Saxton Hale, and he survived, that's why he's a legend now.
Hey, guys, what about Ted Nugent.
He's pretty badass :banjo:
Chuck Norris died years ago, Death just doesn't have the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can suck it.
Peyton Manning can throw a football 70 yards, Chuck Norris can throw Peyton Manning 70 miles.
chuck norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris can't be divided by zero
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice
Chuck Norris got his tonsils removed with a chainsaw
Once, Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel got in an arm wrestle. The winner was Mr. T. Fuck Chuck Norris.
[QUOTE=40kplayer;19874055]Saxton Hale has the manliest country/continent outlined in his chest hair.[/QUOTE]
Even though that "manliest country/continent" just banned A cup breasts due to child pornography fears.
Contributing:
Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
Chuck Norris doesn't read, he stares at books until he gets the information he wants
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris lets live.
Chuck Norris can't be killed,but Death can be Chuck Norris'd.
If it looks like chicken,smells like chicken,tastes like chicken,feels like chicken and even sounds like chicken(the sound it makes when you cut it) but Chuck Norris say's it's beef then [B][I]IT'S GODDAMNED BEEF.[/I][/B]
[QUOTE=Pacmaney;19908788]Even though that "manliest country/continent" just banned A cup breasts due to child pornography fears.[/QUOTE]
The government might be bad, but the animals there are fucking sick!
PS, I don't live there, I just know the country is p. cool
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