Its not rocket science, its you wiping your ass on a tissue.
[QUOTE=_Kilburn;45736912][t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/35/Bidet_weiss.jpg/778px-Bidet_weiss.jpg[/t]
My mom has one of these, seriously they really should be more popular. Since I don't have one in my apartment I use the shower instead, not nearly as comfortable but it still does the job, I guess. I'd say it takes about 15 seconds at most.[/QUOTE]
When I visited Spain they had these in nearly every bathroom. I would never use one though the concept disgusts me.
[QUOTE=_Kilburn;45736912][t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/35/Bidet_weiss.jpg/778px-Bidet_weiss.jpg[/t]
My mom has one of these, seriously they really should be more popular. Since I don't have one in my apartment I use the shower instead, not nearly as comfortable but it still does the job, I guess. I'd say it takes about 15 seconds at most.[/QUOTE]
They're also in every italian bathroom too. I didn't knew you could clean your butt with it. I used them to clean my feet.
...oh shit.
Some time ago in another thread someone posted "wipe once before shitting". It's supposed to flatten your ass hair in a way that less shit gets stuck in it. I tested it some times now and it seems that it really helps a little.
But I found a technique to higher the chances to get a lucky shit (don't know if that's how you say it in English. I mean when you defecate and your anus stays perfectly clean):
The main goal you want to achieve is, that the poo keeps moving and doesn't stop. I have the feeling that when you keep pressing the shit won't touch areas outside of your anus. If you make a pause and it goes back a bit or you rest your anus, then it's already too late because the poo will probably touch the area around your asshole or even your ass.
Making pauses is fine but you don't want to rest your asshole. Keep your muscles tensed, take a deep breath and start pressing again.
I'm doing it like this for years now and I get a lucky shit really often. Of course it depends on the poo itself also. If it's too soft, you probably got to wipe anyways. But I managed to be successful even with diarrhea.
If I'm not successful, wiping can take any time from 10s to 5min.
It depends on whether my ass is in a shitty mood or not.
Lately I've been having pretty bad trouble, like one poster jokingly said, like wiping a marker. I'd bleed before I finished each time.
Then I went out and bought this magical product called metamucil. Oh lordy, taking a shit which wiping would have me hunched over the bowl in pain - suddenly turning into an Ace (one wipe) is pretty fucking satisfying.
Seriously, fix your diet and supplement it with metamucil or some other 'dietary aid'. Worth it.
18 hours
I just run around with my ass against the ground like a dog.
you wouldn't even imagine how much time that saves
It depends on the size of the mirror, exactly how dirty the mirror [B]is[/B], what kind of materials I am provided to [B]wipe[/B] the mirror, etc, etc...
I have three servings of Metamucil every day so my feces is very firm and easy to get rid of; wiping is brief at worst and completely unnecessary in the first place at best. I strongly recommend it.
I also courtesy flush every time.
who needs to wipe when you can just shit in your adult diaper and play lol all day
I'm typing this from the restroom, because I've been working at it for a couple months now. My parents bring me continuous rounds of toilet paper and food.
[QUOTE=Chubbles;45740732]I'm typing this from the restroom, because I've been working at it for a couple months now. My parents bring me continuous rounds of toilet paper and [b]food[/b].[/QUOTE]
I think there might be a flaw here.
To the people with shag carpet asses:
[IMG]http://cqjssh.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/electric-hair-trimmerelectric-hair-clipper-trimmer-shaver-razor-clipper-comb-ho-8802-in-ljrglmtp.jpg[/IMG]
It will change your life.
Unless you trim too short in which case the stubble shreds the toilet paper and you get cocoa fingers.
When using a bidet or sprinkler or whatever, how do you dry your arse afterwards? Wouldn't you just be dripping wet afterwards? I asked my Italian friend (she comes from Naples) and she said towels but I'm not sure if she's kidding or you guys seriously have arse-towels.
Metamucil actually sounds like a great idea, I'm going to buy some on the way home today and try it starting tomorrow!
sometimes i wipe and there's nothing there
those are the days that make life worth living
[QUOTE=shauntp;45744338]When using a bidet or sprinkler or whatever, how do you dry your arse afterwards? Wouldn't you just be dripping wet afterwards? I asked my Italian friend (she comes from Naples) and she said towels but I'm not sure if she's kidding or you guys seriously have arse-towels.[/QUOTE]
Arse-towels. There's nothing gross about that, if you're using soap it's not really all that different from cleaning your hands.
[QUOTE=_Kilburn;45736912][t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/35/Bidet_weiss.jpg/778px-Bidet_weiss.jpg[/t]
My mom has one of these, seriously they really should be more popular. Since I don't have one in my apartment I use the shower instead, not nearly as comfortable but it still does the job, I guess. I'd say it takes about 15 seconds at most.[/QUOTE]
Bidets are awesome.
I can't tell you in seconds, but one time I had a really terrible case of the smears. That shit had the consistency of warm playdough. Seriously. It was terrible. I counted how many times I had to wipe. I think it was 26.
I think I had to wipe my ass twenty six fucking times. It hurt.
I was also on LSD, which didn't make the experience any better. Minutes stretched into hours. And afterwards I felt like I desperately needed a shower.
I hate taking a shit and its all acidic and stuff.
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