once I had a bad stomach ache and thought I was gonna die, turned out I just needed to take a shit
When my dad used to work in music, he was one of the people who set up and tore down the stages for concerts. He said you had to survive on as little sleep as possible for about ~4 days. He once tied two pillows on his head and slept behind a speaker while music was playing.
[QUOTE=SilverBullet;42911594]Alrightfuckitwhynot.
So where do I start.
Basically salvia showed me what happens when I die, it taught me that the universe is made of pure awareness and that living things are a cluster of awareness with a mysterious cohesion that makes them one unified living being. When I experienced death. I experienced the loss of that cohesion. It's quite terrifying.
This is what death feels like(for me);
First, you feel as if you are falling asleep, you feel cozy and comfortable, drifting away slowly. You might even think to yourself, "Am I dying? Is this what death feels like? It's not so bad...".
So as you drift away like you would into dreamland, it suddenly stops. You wake up, you remember yourself, who you are. Thats when death hits you, with quiet power and fury. Death is the most powerful force you could possibly experience. It forcefully blows apart every fiber of your consciousness and blasts you across infinity. I fancy it to be like a cosmic hammer coming down on you so hard you blast apart into an infinite amount of pieces and spread across that vast immensity. You become like a fog, constantly expanding yet dwindling at the same time, faster than the speed of light. Death even lets you experience a moment of sheer terror and awe after it hits you. After that? There is no more ego. No more fear. You expand for eternity. I don't know whether to call it heaven or hell.
Don't get me wrong, you are dead, but the awarness that once made you doesn't simply vanish. You get to experience every part of it. You become infinity. And then somewhere in that perfect chaos. You realize.... you're finally home.
I don't know if I want to laugh or cry.
The thought of my death makes loneliness hit me like a truck.
Like I said, facepunch doesn't like this stuff. I don't think anyone does actually. People will just think I'm stupid or crazy. People just chalk it to drugs and hallucination, throwing all that knowledge out the window. Phsyco-actives help you experience the same reality in different ways. Any way of viewing reality is not more "right" or better than the other.[/QUOTE]
I don't think that it's that stupid, kinda neat. Though that is REALLY far out there. :3
It's very lonely, because I can't tell this to anyone. Can't relate to anybody about it. And yet, to me, it is undeniably real. Once you know what I know, it's really not that far out. It makes all the sense in the world. I don't expect you to believe me, but I felt like expressing my story as best I could.
I ever tell you about the time I won my high school a basketball game from behind the scorebook? Want me to tell it? Fuck you, I'm telling it anyway.
In my freshman year, I was one of the managers for the boys basketball teams. This was the JV game against our rival school. It's towards the last five seconds or so of the game, the other team's up one or two points, their coach calls timeout. Since I was on books, I go and mark it down.
All of the little Fs and 30s I made were crossed out - this guy had no timeouts left. I grab the attention of the referee who was still standing there, and say "yo, ref, dude has no timeouts left". Ref blows on his whistle, calls a technical foul on the coach. The coach immediately dawns the "what THE FLYING FUCK JUST HAPPENED" expression on his face, I catch a glimpse of the other team's scorebook - she had one timeout open. I don't know if I marked one twice or if she forgot to mark one or what, but I was home book, so I was right.
Our guy lines up for the free throws. Shoots one, ties the game. My school's fans immediately explode in cheering, and Cascade's coach is just mad. But wait. We still have one more free throw. Our guy shoots, and all you could be aware of is the [i]swish[/i] of the net before our fans start yelling so loud you'd think a sedan full of C4 had just exploded right on the center line. Seriously, I had fucking tinnitus in that ear all night from them.
And the other team's coach was so fucking pissed off. al-Qaeda would have been scared of this motherfucker.
I miss doing that sometimes.
[QUOTE=SilverBullet;42919556]It's very lonely, because I can't tell this to anyone. Can't relate to anybody about it. And yet, to me, it is undeniably real. Once you know what I know, it's really not that far out. It makes all the sense in the world. I don't expect you to believe me, but I felt like expressing my story as best I could.[/QUOTE]
I'm instantly reminded of the Portal of Truth scene from Fullmetal Alchemist.
I had an older brother.
He died of pneumonia back in 2010.
[QUOTE=SilverBullet;42911594]Any way of viewing reality is not more "right" or better than the other.[/QUOTE]
Can I quote you if I'm ever done for a DUI?
[QUOTE=MazerRackham;42973461]Can I quote you if I'm ever done for a DUI?[/QUOTE]
I'm safely driving in [I]my[/I] reality officer!"
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