[QUOTE=Fort83;31607896]Love sucks, true love swallows[/QUOTE]
And showing off is gargling.
give her a porn dvd so she can hopefully learn some things. not joking
kill her
That sucks
trick her into doing it.
put your dick in a box, go up to her, open the box and then shove her head onto it
my plan is foolproof fuck everyone else i am right
ok
[QUOTE=Ruski v2.0;31608092]trick her into doing it.
put your dick in a box, go up to her, open the box and then shove her head onto it
my plan is foolproof fuck everyone else i am right
ok[/QUOTE]
Pizza boxes work the best because people are less suspicious when you offer them a slice.
[QUOTE=Emilie Autumn;31607082]Yeah, she sounds like a total bitch. I mean, three months!? What's up with that? Dump her ass.[/QUOTE]
This is sarcasm right
Knock her out, blindfold her and force oral on her when she wakes up. :v:
I was always under the impression you had to suck her dick before she sucked yours.
[QUOTE=NielsGade;31608241]Wait, you've done oral and not had sex? Is she afraid of penises or something?[/QUOTE]
She's "not ready".
She's never done it before, though.
When shes sleeping tie her up and force your dick down her throat, then afterwards say "See, theres nothing to be afraid of"
[QUOTE=NielsGade;31608241]Wait, you've done oral and not had sex? Is she afraid of penises or something?[/QUOTE]
Everyone considers penis-in-vagina as being a bigger step than penis-in-mouth, or penis-in-anus, or pretty much everything else for some stupid reason
"I've taken it up the ass twice, still a virgin tho"
you are a retard, you keep giving her oral and you are getting nothing back, LOL!
sounds like she has you under her control, and you're her little bitch. you should shoot yourself for getting owned so much
[QUOTE=Wiggles;31607341]Find out what her favourite condiment is, apply liberally to genitals, and then watch the fireworks.[/QUOTE]
My ex stuck his dick in a pot of strawberry jam and I licked it off. The next morning his younger sister had jam on toast for breakfast.
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;31608958]My ex stuck his dick in a pot of strawberry jam and I licked it off. The next morning his younger sister had jam on toast for breakfast.[/QUOTE]
Wincest.
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;31608958]My ex stuck his dick in a pot of strawberry jam and I licked it off. The next morning his younger sister had jam on toast for breakfast.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://gyazo.com/d6522a667a6cdcdca93715b0fb80ae8b.png[/img]
[QUOTE=Redcow17;31607220]Yeah no shit, but after like 20 handjobs it's the same fucking thing over and over and it gets to be routine.
It seems like she's being selfish if she makes me do oral and she won't.[/QUOTE]
Sounds more like your the selfish one here.
how old are you?
[QUOTE=NielsGade;31608980]That's disgusting.[/QUOTE]
Naw, it was delicious.
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;31608958]My ex stuck his dick in a pot of strawberry jam and I licked it off. The next morning his younger sister had jam on toast for breakfast.[/QUOTE]
Hot.
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;31609016]Naw, it was delicious.[/QUOTE]
If I rub jam on my dick will you come and lick it off
[QUOTE=QuickSnapz;31609110]If I rub jam on my dick will you come and lick it off[/QUOTE]
If you don't get a yes then I would be happy to substitute.
[QUOTE=Metanar;31609124]If you don't get a yes then I would be happy to substitute.[/QUOTE]
Are you a women
[QUOTE=QuickSnapz;31609144]Are you a women[/QUOTE]
Close enough. ;)
Use your pregnancy stick
Does OP have a small dick?
That'll explain it.
[QUOTE=Metanar;31609166]Close enough. ;)[/QUOTE]
Do you have boobs
[QUOTE=QuickSnapz;31609237]Do you have boobs[/QUOTE]
You can close your eyes if you want.
[QUOTE=Metanar;31609273]You can close your eyes if you want.[/QUOTE]
Do you have something I can stick my penis in
This is in popular threads. Stay classy, FP.
[QUOTE=QuickSnapz;31609309]Do you have something I can stick my penis in[/QUOTE]
Two places come to mind.
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