[QUOTE=J!NX;31610412]What the fuck?
[editline]8th August 2011[/editline]
Source[/QUOTE]
shit's pretty old already, and it's in portuguese. a search on google only gave me porn videos
Wtf how did this thread turned up talking about incest and fucking food.
alright op here's your ultimate solution: tell your girlfriend you got priapsim and you need stimulation. LOTS of stimulation.
Ask her for a handjob. When you're done, tell her you need to go check yourself in the bathroom and pee. Scream a bit so it looks like you're peeing with a full force erection (which isn't that nice). While you're in the bathroom, reanimate your dude and go back with a raging boner. Say you need more stimulation or your dick might blow up and sh'ell eventually give you a blow job. Hey, even 2 or 3 if you want.
If it didn't work or you got busted in the bathroom, just say you wanted a bit of drama/roleplay. Then kiss her before she starts talking
[QUOTE=markinluck;31610670]Wtf how did this thread turned up talking about incest and fucking food.[/QUOTE]
because someone licked jam off of my dick
the fuck...... girls go for people like him and not for guys that actually care? all he wants is to fuck her and for her to give him a bj
just put an onion ring on your dick and your scrotum is like a feta salad dude
[QUOTE=Region;31611380]the fuck...... girls go for people like him and not for guys that actually care? all he wants is to fuck her and for her to give him a bj[/QUOTE]
That's not even true, and it's a typical response from a facepuncher without a girlfriend.
If you've ever actually been near a girl you know that along with relationship, stimulation is important too.
So quiet down or go get a social life.
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;31607098]How old is she? Are you her first sexual partner? Is she yours? These are all questions you need to consider.
Or maybe you have a cheesy dick[/QUOTE]
What's a cheesy dick? I gots to know if I have this.
Lol and as expected a bunch of FPers flame the OP about how a relationship is all about ~ emotions ~ and ~ love ~
Hey guess what, a relationship can impossibly last without sex, but that's probably too hard to understand if you never had one.
[QUOTE=NotMeh;31621313]Lol and as expected a bunch of FPers flame the OP about how a relationship is all about ~ emotions ~ and ~ love ~
Hey guess what, a relationship can impossibly last without sex, but that's probably too hard to understand if you never had one.[/QUOTE]
no it's not that it's just a very dimwitted approach to things
[QUOTE=cqbcat;31620316]What's a cheesy dick? I gots to know if I have this.[/QUOTE]
It's when you fuck a wedge of swiss cheese too much.
[sp]no, it's when your dick isn't clean it gets all gross and shit[/sp]
[QUOTE=Oxu365;31611535]just put an onion ring on your dick and your scrotum is like a feta salad dude[/QUOTE]
Why is your avatar so fitting?
I am now turned on by jam.
Way to go Facepunch.
Maybe she doesn't want to get pregnant
that's how it works right?
[QUOTE=Linkage;31621929]Maybe she doesn't want to get pregnant
that's how it works right?[/QUOTE]
No pregnancy happens through the ear.
[QUOTE=yellowoboe;31621947]No pregnancy happens through the ear.[/QUOTE]
Well then at least I know my missus isn't pregnant then
Mmm...Jam.
Way to go FP. Making sex from breakfast condiments.
[QUOTE=Redcow17;31607059]Been dating for 3 months, I've went down on her.
She said she's considering it but it's been a week and I don't know if she was just saying that so she doesn't have to say no.
[b]Edit:[/b]
I don't see how it's fair, since I've done oral on her and she won't do it. She says she isn't "ready" or something but that's dumb because she lets me do it.[/QUOTE]
You don't think it's fair because you've given her oral? Sex (Not actually sex but fuck constantly typing 'sexual activity') isn't some kind of shop. You're not trading oral for oral. Give her time, or even better, let her get a guy who isn't a massive cunt in a diaper.
[QUOTE=BaCkStAbEr;31607969]That sucks[/QUOTE]
No it doesn't, that's the problem.
I love how I ask how old OP is, and he doesn't answer.
Oh my god bottom of page two and top of page three funniest shit ever
[QUOTE=Raptor;31648035]Oh my god bottom of page two and top of page three funniest shit ever[/QUOTE]
But... I thought we were being serious.
[QUOTE=Raptor;31648035]Oh my god bottom of page two and top of page three hottest shit ever[/QUOTE]
Fixed
Honestly when it started getting creepy my boner just disintegrated.
Hey, OP, stop being such a whiney cunt. Not every girl likes sucking dick; deal with it. There are plenty of other ways for you to get stimulation.
OP needs to be dumped somewhere in the desert.
OP needs to learn [b]The Game![/b]
u c, ur [b]Da PIMP[/b] n u gotta tel dat beetch dat is ur muddafuckin moneh! She don get it cuz shes jus de bitch n ur [b]Da PIMP[/b] n u get all de muddafukin moneh...
*6 Hours later*
So that was [b]Da Game![/b]
Flip that bitch over and ram her doggy style!
As they say in Soviet Russia.
Любой парень, который не может видеть истинную красоту женщины, не только ее физическое выглядит должна быть ранен в ногу и живот заполнен кислоты затем сожгли в чертов ад.
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1133025[/url]
Did you get your blowjob in the end?
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