Go to Omegle and say you are a sex offender, post convo
590 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Omegle]Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Hi!
Stranger: hi a rapist from fife
Stranger: u under 14
You: Nein
You: ICH BIN DER GRUPPENFÜHRER!
Stranger: yuss a nazi
You: JAWHOL!
Stranger: do u speak english or do we need to make it a hattrick
You: I speak a rather good piece of English acctually...
Stranger: "2 out a 3 and bad then"
You: Well, they can't all be good
Stranger: where do u live?
You: Germany
Stranger: what city
You: Dusseldorf
Stranger: r u a nazi
You: I might be...
Stranger: i am
You: Good for you then
Stranger: zieg hiel for the fuher
Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/QUOTE]
Well, I tried...
Stranger: heyy=]
You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender.]
You: hi
Stranger: howr u?=]
You: A wild abra appears
Stranger: omg is dis dat bullshit frm 4chan
You: Wild abra uses teleport
Stranger: ok bye
double kill
[quote]Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: sup
Stranger: fine and u
You: fine too
You: m/f?
Stranger: who cares
You: i do
Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/quote]
...yeah.
[quote]You: A wild abra appears
Stranger: GO PSYDUCK
You: wild abra uses teleport
Stranger: the rain starts too fall
You have disconnected.[/quote]
Stranger: male 19
You: HI
You: BILLY MAYS HERE WITH AN AMAZING NEW PRODUCT
You: ARE YOU A 19 YEAR OLD MALE LIVING ALONE IN YOUR MOTHERS BASEMENT LOOKING FOR A LITTLE ACTION
You: WELL NOW YOU CAN
You: WITH THE FLESHLIGHT
You: ITS LIKE A REAL VAGINA
Stranger: is it
You: WITHOUT HAVING TO MEET GIRLS
Stranger: ok
You: YOU COULD HAVE THE FUN YOU DESERVE THAT EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU THAT HAS A SOCIAL LIFE IS GETTING
Stranger: cum on then
You: AN IT CAN BE YOURS FOR 2 EASY PAYMENTS OF 19.95
You: BUT WAIT
You: CALL WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINS AN WE'LL SEND YOU A YEARS SUPPLY OF LUBE ABSOLUTLY FREE
You: HERES HOW TO ORDER!
Stranger: ???????
You: 1 800 I DO COCAINEEEEEEE
Stranger: ur male or female
You: IM BILLY MAYS FAGGOT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[quote]You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Inform me of the objects you have inserted into your ass
Stranger: your a registered sex offender?!!?!!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!
Stranger: what the fuck
Stranger: just hella random
You: What?
Stranger: whats that like
You: Sex offender?
You: Where'd you get that from?
Stranger: idk it says on the thing '[omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: What
You: Oh shit
You: How did they know?
Stranger: and by your question i see where that could come from
Stranger: ahhahahaha
Stranger: idk the government prob ably like has someting in your computer
Stranger: hahahahah
You: Fuck
You: FUCK!
You: ONE TIME!
Stranger: ahhahahahhahhaa
Stranger: what happened?
Stranger: do tell
Stranger: how old are you
You: *sigh*
You: Well
You: I'm 26
Stranger: ok go
You: She was 17
You: So I was at a frat party for old times' sake, you know, reliving memories of an era bygone
You: Long story short, I got drunk and boned her
Stranger: oh dude i have a 21 yr old bf ppl get hella weird
Stranger: well did you shove weird shit in her ass? khahahaha becasue i would have told on you tooo
Stranger: hahahhaa
Stranger: jkkjk
You: I put my penis in her ass
You: As far as I can remember
You: Which isn't much
Stranger: well if she liked it then whatevs
You: She was basically unconscious
Stranger: oh i seee ahhahahahahhahahhaha
Stranger: man,... thats how i lost my virginity.
Stranger: i got raped
Stranger: because i was blacked out
Stranger: tough shit
You: What was it like?
You: Are you emotionally scarred by the experience?
Stranger: welllll the guy was an ex actually and was trying to be vindictive and got me waaaasted and did it
Stranger: so it was hard for a while
You: My condolences
Stranger: ya
You: I'd like to point out that I she didn't pass out until after she had given me her consent
You: I guess she changed her mind after
Stranger: well then that just fucks you over
Stranger: BITCH
You: I agree
You: I got off easy, though
Stranger: lol
You: 3 months in jail plus 300 hours of community service
Stranger: shes just a dead thing there
Stranger: oh wellll
Stranger: ya
Stranger: how was jail
You: Boring
You: Mostly
Stranger: didk you get anything inserted in your ass ahhahah
You: No
Stranger: JSUT CHECKING
You: Was medium security, so it wasn't as ripe with rapists and serial killers as other prisons
You: After the initial shock it was a rather thrilling experience
Stranger: oh well thats good, at least you could sleep at night
You: Can't get a steady job now, though
Stranger: hahhhah
Stranger: oooo,
Stranger: damn
Stranger: and you LOVE weed right?
Stranger: because i do ahhaha
You: It's alright
You: Speaking of my sentence by the way
You: I have to go now
Stranger: hahah
Stranger: bye
You: only 103 more hours to go
Stranger: good luck man
You: Thanks
You: Bye[/quote]
Now this is fun.
awwww guess this jackhammer knows bout this already
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: Time for a new joke buddy that ones getting old
You: hahhahaa from FP ehh
You: :P
Stranger: Nah
You: cy a
Stranger: cya
[code]You:
[Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Hello :)
Stranger: hi
You: How are you?
Stranger: great
You: So...
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 39
Stranger: turning 40 in a couple days
You: Hot.
You: I like mature guys
You: Do you wanna meet up?
Stranger: where do you live
You: USA
Stranger: great i live in siberia
You: o.O
You have disconnected.[/code]
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: wonna see mi big hard cock on webcam?
You: I crave dead people
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I creeped out the creeper.
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Hey.
Stranger: 69 BRO
You: Huh?
Stranger: 69
Stranger: BRO
You: ...What?
Stranger: SIXTY FUCKING NINE BRO
You: Oooook. What?
Stranger: WHAT THE FUCK
Stranger: peedo
Stranger: peeeedo
You: What?
You: I'm not a pedo.
Stranger: oreally?
You: Yes, really.
You: I'm just a normal fifteen year old girl.
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: that
You: Funny guy, I don't see that.
Stranger: guy?
Stranger: excuse meeee
Stranger: im not a guy
Stranger: kthnx
You: So... Where are you from?
Stranger: im not gonna tell you, you're a creeper and a peedo. get the fuck off your ass and get a life.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hi
Stranger: im not a sex offender
You: huh?
Stranger: oh you aree
Stranger: cool
You: im not, im just a fifteen year old girl
Stranger: haaa, i didnt think you were
You: yeah :D so, where r u from?
Stranger: england :(
Stranger: you?
You: same :P
Stranger: where abouts do you live?
You: west wickham, you?
Stranger: reading
You: and how old r u?
Stranger: 14
You: cool, u wanna meet up some time?
Stranger: i live ages away from you
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that your conversation is being monitored due to the sender being a registered sex offender]
Stranger: OMG
You: What?
Stranger: nothingg
You: ok, thats a shame :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hi
Stranger: stop with the bullshit bitch
You: huh?
You: what?
Stranger: fuck you
You: what??
Stranger: troll
Stranger: punk ass troll
You: why? what did i do?
You: i just said hi
Stranger: lame dickwad
Stranger: heard of micheal vick
You: wtf r u on about?
Stranger: he signed with eagles
Stranger: i'm happy for him
Stranger: i hope he does well
Stranger: you type to damn slow
You: im sorry, wtf? i just said hi n ur going mad over this
Stranger: ABRA has appeared
You: what?
You: jesus, stop it, i just want to chat
Stranger: Abra teleported
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hi
Stranger: eww fuck off
You: what??
You: i just said hi
Stranger: ugh
Stranger: your a sex offender?
You: huh? what?
You: whyd you ask that?
Stranger: it siad s that you are
You: what said i was? i dont see anything?
Stranger: Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: omg! wtf?
You: tht wasnt even my fucking fault!
You: she said she was 17! jesus christ
Stranger: eww
You: sierously, im not a sex offender
Stranger: how old are you
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that your conversation is being monitored due to the sender being a registered sex offender]
You: im 24
Stranger: eww
You: what?
You: dont like 24 year olds?
Stranger: Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that your conversation is being monitored due to the sender being a registered sex offender]
You: WTF
You: sierously now
Stranger: bye
You: no! i didnt do anything!
You: its not my fault
Stranger: well i dontt feel comfortable talking to you
Stranger: sorry
You: i already did two fucking years of jail for her lieing to me
You: n now im being fucking tormented on the internet 2
Stranger: omg !
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: palmeiras
You: facepunhc
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[quote]You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hey
Stranger: hii
You: so whats up
Stranger: sex offencer huh?
Stranger: lol
You: eh
You: what
Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: that wat it says haha
You: what, i'm not a sex offender
Stranger: haa
Stranger: so m/f
You: m
Stranger: k cool
Stranger: girl :))
Stranger: too bad ur not a sex offender:([/quote]
...
Stranger: im horny guy
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: ohai der.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
That was fun.
EDIT:
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
DOUBLE EDIT (WTF?):
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: demifuckinglovayp
You: Hi!
Stranger: dude
Stranger: i don't want to be chatting with a sex offender
Stranger: not cool.
You: Sorry :(
You: I , i didnt mean to
Stranger: i'm cool with it though
Stranger: how did you not mean to?
You: it was an accident! i swear D:
Stranger: HOW
You: i thought she was 18?!
Stranger: =0
Stranger: how long ago
You: i had no idea.. she was... 12.
Stranger: wow man.
You: tell me about it :(
Stranger: how long ago
You: over a year.
Stranger: wowow.
Stranger: why
You: She said she was 18 and we were drunk.
You: She looked 18 imo.
You: but nooooo
Stranger: a 12 year old
Stranger: drunk
You: "im 12"
Stranger: why did she go with it
Stranger: how old are you sir
You: She wanted me.
You: 18 >:l
Stranger: bleh :/
You: forreals.
Stranger: i gotta go man. i'll talk to you later though k?
Stranger: gotta go get readhy.
You: Alright
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
BIGGEST EDIT: (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD)
Stranger: hey
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hey!
Stranger: cool
You: whats cool
Stranger: u r a sex offender
Stranger: what class
Stranger: i am a class II
Stranger: hacı naber
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: O hi der
Stranger: kim diyor
You: ...excuse me? I don't speak chav
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
that...was quite amusing
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: Hello
You: Hi
Stranger: Thats lovely
You: It's a curse :(
Stranger: I'm sure you are a decent person.
You: Those kids sure did..
Stranger: Damn kids.
You: Yeah
You: Damn those bodies.
lol
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: demilovato69
You: Hi, I'm carl.
Stranger: Stranger: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender] is that true?
You: Huh?
Is that what it said?
Stranger: mhm.
You: Yeah, I'm afraid its true.
You: Bad times, in bad places.
Stranger: dayum.
You: Say, do you have a facebook?
You: Or a skype?
Stranger: nope.
Stranger: tumblr and myspace.
bastard
EDIT:
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: OI
You: Ola!
Stranger: aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Stranger: mp?
You: ?
You: What?
Your conversational partner has disconnected
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Hey what's up?
Stranger: hi
You: Where do you live?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
:(
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender.]
You: Hello. How're you?
Stranger: piss off
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender.]
You: Hello, how're you?
Stranger: corpsefucker?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[code]You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender.]
Stranger: Wtf...
You: Hi
Stranger: Hi??
You: how are you
Stranger: Good...
You: How old are you
Stranger: 19
You: to old not want.
Stranger: LMFAO .
Stranger: FREAK
Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/code]
[code]You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender.]
You: Hi.
Stranger: hi
You: How old are you?
Stranger: i am 17
Stranger: u/
Stranger: ?
You: 39 male
You: I am typing with one hand.
Stranger: i like being fucked by a pedo
You: Thats good.
Stranger: u now y?
You: Because its free?
Stranger: because after having being fucked i rip his fuckin head of
Stranger: i like it
You: That turns me on.
Stranger: u be next
You: you must have had a past experiance with this sort of thing
You: i like experiance
Stranger: fa sho i hed
Stranger: had
You: Lets slap are cocks togather with some grease.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/code]
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender.]
You: Hello, how're you?
Stranger: what ?
Stranger: hi, i'm ok, and u
You: I'm a bit lonely, to be honest.
Stranger: me too
You: Do you like candy?
Stranger: o. õ
Stranger: yes
You: Really? That's great. I have a whole bag full of candy in my van.
You: Tootsie rolls, lollipops, jolly ranchers, lifesavers.
You: You name it.
Stranger: '-'
Stranger: D
Stranger: =D
You: Do you want some?
You: The candy is free.
Stranger: not know
Stranger: thanks
You: Are you sure?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i'm full
You: What a shame.
You: I have other interesting things in my van.
You: Like lava lamps, shag carpeting, *cough*pot*cough*
Stranger: '-'
You: Would you like to see them?
Stranger: sure
You: Great!
You: *I open the door to my black van which has no windows. Inside there is, in fact, a lava lamp, shag carpet, and another guy taking hits from a bong. He looks up and waves*
You: Go on in.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you're really weird
Stranger: i'm afraid
You: Don't be shy, my friend is very docile.
You: The grass is free, too.
Stranger: '-'
You: To be honest that's why we bought the candy. Munchies.
Stranger: MOOOOM
Stranger: DAAADD
Stranger: HELP MEEE
You: *The man smoking pot pulls out a baseball bat and cracks you over the head with it*
You: *We pull your body into the van and drive off*
You: *Later, police find your body mutilated with many bruises, stab wounds, and signs of rape*
You: *Your jaw, left leg, both arms, and three ribs are broken*
Stranger: lol
Stranger: and know?
Stranger: what will i do
You: *We're never found*
You have disconnected.
* ‏*  ‏
[code]Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: DEMILOVATO69
You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with an alien.]
Stranger: aw wow!
Stranger: xD
Stranger: FROM MARS? D:
You: Nah
You: From the moon.
You: Much closer
Stranger: weeeeeeew
You: Save on space fare.
Stranger: true true
Stranger: what do you look like?
You: You think gas is expensive? Just imagine space flight...
You: I'm a little green man.
You: Those interpretations of aliens from the 1950's?
Stranger: YEAHH
You: They're the real thing.
Stranger: LET ME
Stranger: SING THIS TO YOU
Stranger: MIGHT TAKE A WHILE
Stranger: since i saw your faceeeeeeeee, you blew me into interglactic space, baby baby green girl, show me some green girl loving, i wanna touch your body, your green soft body, wanna love you aloty, and maybe we'll get married and we'll move to the mooon!
You: Wow.
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: thanks to forever the sickest kids.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.[/code]
I love this.
[code]Connecting to server...
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is legally required to inform you that you are currently chatting with an alien.]
Stranger: ok cool
Stranger: do aliens DEMILOVATO69?
You: .sdrawkcab epyt sneila tub oN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[/code]
I wrote that aliens type backwards.
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Hello
Stranger: hi
Stranger: male or female?
You: Any you want me to be
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: vi'm male 18 looking for female for cam 2 cam on msn
You: hi
You: asl?
You: helloooooo........
Stranger: hey
Stranger: i'm 18 male
Stranger: u?
You: 17 female
Stranger: nice
Stranger: can u give me your msn address?
You: you give me yours first
Stranger: [email]luis015_07@hotmail.com[/email]
You: b the way im actually male and im now gonna post your email all over the internet
You: have a nice day
Stranger: :S okay
You: pedo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Hi, this is Paul from Omegle.
We have received multiple complaints of inappropriate, lewd behavior traced to your IP address. This is a quick courtesy chat just to follow up those complaints as we need to hear both sides of the story before we take appropriate action.
You: :D
You: Reddit, Facepunch, Digg?
You: 4chan?
You: Maybe you're an original.
You: Hmmm.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: Hello
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hello there
Stranger: Old trick is old
Stranger: Hey
You: lol
You: it sure is
Stranger: I did that shit like 2 weeks ago foo
You: but i couldnt resist
Stranger: its okay
Stranger: my car broke down when I did that trick anyways
Stranger: ...wait your a fucking sex offendor
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
[quote]You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
Stranger: ……………………………._„„—~~~~””~-,_…………………………………..
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WELCOME TO THE OFFICAL MICHAEL JACKSON OMEGLE CHAT [/quote]
The irony is killing me.
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hello
Stranger: FUCKING WEIRDO.
You: what?
Stranger: FDSJKLFAJ
Stranger: youz a sex offender?
You: what are you talking about
You: o shit.
You: lol
Stranger: yeah. goodbye.
You: facepunch
Your conversational partner has disconnected
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: [Omegle is required by law to inform you that you are currently chatting with a registered sex offender]
You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: How's it going
Stranger: good, u?
You: good
Stranger: nice
Stranger: asl
You: 67/m/california
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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