Post your favourite Soviet Russia jokes!

[Cureless]

In America, you listen to man on radio.
In Soviet Russia, man on radio listen to [b]you[/b].

:tinfoil:

[SilverDragon619]

In Soviet Russia,Poo Poo eat YOU

[IceFire]

Since it wasn't specified that it HAD to be russian reversal, and I cbf'd writing them all out, imma Ctrl-C > Ctrl-V wikipedia's page on Yakov Smirnoff - Father of the Russian Reversal jokes, or as you guys call it, 'In Soviet Russia' jokes. (for the uninformed)

[B]"America: What a country!"[/B]

[LIST]
[*]Misunderstanding of American life and custom through the eyes of a new immigrant. For instance:
[LIST]
[*]"I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying 'Smirnoff' and I said to myself, what a country! 'America Loves Smirnoff'!"
[*]Reading employment announcements of "Part-Time Woman Wanted": "What a country! Even transvestites can get work."
[*]Upon being offered work as a barman on a "graveyard shift", he remarks, 'A bar in a cemetery! What a country! Last call? During Happy Hour the place must be dead.'[1]
[*]At the grocery store: "[U]Powdered milk[/U],[U] powdered eggs[/U], [U]baby powder[/U] ... what a country!"
[*]At the grocery store after finding "New Freedom" Maxi Pads: "Freedom in a box! What a country!"
[*]"The first time I went to a restaurant, they asked me 'How many in your party?' and I said 'Six hundred million'."
[/LIST]

[/LIST]

[LIST]
[*]Bizarre comparisons between the U.S. and Russia.
[LIST]
[*]"We have no gay people in Russia — there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that."
[/LIST]

[/LIST]
He once told Johnny Carson, "You have such nice things in the U.S. — like in Russia the police didn’t have warning shots"

[B]But for the sake of Russian Reversal:[/B]

In America, you can always find a party.In Soviet Russia, [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_the_Soviet_Union"]the party[/URL] can always find you. In America, you drive carIn Soviet Russia, car drive you! In America, you listen to radioIn Soviet Russia, radio listen to you! In America, your job determines your marksIn Soviet Russia, [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Marx"]Marx[/URL] determines your job! In America, you assassinate presidentIn Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!