Post here useful lifehacks!
Wear shoes once every two days so they last twice as long.
Avoid losing your house keys by leaving them in the door when you leave.
Open clamshell packages by using a lighter to melt away the edges.
Prevent drinks from fizzing up by pouring it into a shallow bowl and leaving it for several hours.
Cook a steak to well done to prevent juices from splattering everywhere when you cut into the meat.
If you don't have a corkscrew or bottle opener, use an angle grinder to remove the top.
When boiling pasta, put a lemon in the pot to prevent the pasta becoming soggy.
Save money on toilet paper by using a sponge or towel to wipe. It can be washed afterwards.
- If you get brain freeze, push your tongue against the roof of your mouth to stop it.
- In an elevator, hit both the buttons for your desired floor and "door close" at the same time. This starts an express mode which bypasses every floor on your trip.
- Don't drink water when your mouth is on fire; milk does a better job.
[QUOTE=Emperorconor;45533424]Save money on toilet paper by using a sponge or towel to wipe. It can be washed afterwards.[/QUOTE]
are you shitting me :v:
[QUOTE=Emperorconor;45533424]
Save money on toilet paper by using a sponge or towel to wipe. It can be washed afterwards.[/QUOTE]
Doesn't this contaminate any other clothes you wash afterwards?
On top of that there's nothing worse than having to remove bits of shit from the rubber seal of the washing machine.
Oh god I can't tell if I should be serious or not now...
[QUOTE=suXin;45533556]are you shitting me :v:[/QUOTE]
This is a shitty advice
i've wiped with a towel before
I ran out of toilet paper while wiping
This is a very old and well-known method (well at least I thought it was), but for any beginner stoners out there living with their parents who want to hide weed smell heres how to make a sploof
u need a water bottle, a lighter, drier sheets, and a paper clip.
bend paper clip so it's pointy, heat with lighter,
melt 4-5 fuck it however many holes you want in bottom of the water bottle (not too many though because you don't want the smoke to blow through too fast, but you also don't want too much drag)
stuff bottle with drier sheets
smoke and blow through bottle, no smell.
also for fun if u didnt poke enough holes and smoke is getting trapped in the bottle, u can squeeze the bottle and it will blow O's out the mouth hole
[editline]29th July 2014[/editline]
also when wiping ur ass use this:
[img]http://readynutrition.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Toilet-paper.jpg[/img]
its guaranteed to get 90% of the poop out
[QUOTE=Emperorconor;45533424]Cook a steak to well done to prevent juices from splattering everywhere when you cut into the meat.[/QUOTE]
You're doing it wrong.
If you point a gun at your heart, pull the trigger and QUICKLY swing it away, you can curve bullets.
Power a light using a solar panel, but point the light at the solar panel, infinite energy.
Mixing ammonia and bleach creates crystals (If you are willing to do this you deserve what you get, beautiful crystals.)
[QUOTE=Emperorconor;45533424]
Cook a steak to well done to prevent juices from splattering everywhere when you cut into the meat.
[/QUOTE]
You shud git gud at cooking. The reason that happens is when you cook the cells contract, letting out the juices, when you stop cooking it, it's still cooking on the inside, and you have to give it a little bit of time for the juices to re-absorb.
If it's a thin steak, let it sit for around 5 minutes, a thick one, 10-15 minutes will be fine.
[quote]Save money on toilet paper by using a sponge or towel to wipe. It can be washed afterwards.[/quote]
Or rather than making your sponge/towel disgusting, just clean up with water as some do.
eat 10 table spoons of Nutmeg
Lifehack #1: [sp]don't call anything a lifehack[/sp]
[sp]it sounds ridiculous[/sp]
Tired of wasting money on weed, cocaine and the waste of coked up Nigerian princes? Tire no more, as I have a cheap, totally legal and 100% non-fatal high for you! You just need to inject a syringe full of oxygen straight into the largest vein in your wrist and BAM, you'll be floating on air in no time!
[QUOTE=hanswithcheese;45534144]Lifehack #1: [sp]don't call anything a lifehack[/sp]
[sp]it sounds ridiculous[/sp][/QUOTE]
Sounds like somebody is jealous they can't use lifehacks properly.
Stick a hole in your toilet paper and wrap it around your finger.
Now you twirl it around not letting your tip of your finger in contact with your inner asshole.
Your asshole will be clean after two of these and you don't even need to wash your hands.
Think it makes no sense? You do this in the army.
Want to get laid? Look for singles in a nursing home. Many of them are widows, and desperate for human contact. And at 80 or 90, they've had so much sex that they pretty much know everything about how to make a dude splooge.
Edit: And if you get a job at said nursing home, you get unlimited access to tons of willing geriatric trim, PLUS a steady paycheck.
[QUOTE=NuclearJesus;45534748]Want to get laid? Look for singles in a nursing home. Many of them are widows, and desperate for human contact. And at 80 or 90, they've had so much sex that they pretty much know everything about how to make a dude splooge.
Edit: And if you get a job at said nursing home, you get unlimited access to tons of willing geriatric trim, PLUS a steady paycheck.[/QUOTE]
Yes Man.
Too bad there aren't any nursing homes here...
Annoying neighbor, spouse, neighborhood teenagers, sibling, children, etc. getting on your nerves?
Try murdering them.
It's no secret that any number of methods can stop a human heart. Striking the base of the skull sharply with a heavy object can dislodge the spinal column from the brainstem. Cutting off the airway, with a pillow, wet towel, or the palm of your hand, can cause brain death within minutes, causing the heart to stop. A liberal application of fire can send a person into shock, and eventually cause them to stop living. Severing the femoral artery (or jugular vein) can cause a person to bleed out in mere seconds.
Once the person is dead, you will find that they are [i]completely incapable[/i] of irritating you.
And, if you're the lonely type, you can always use their bodies for sexual gratification. Meaning that this is actually TWO lifehacks for the price of one!
Edit: Also, placing a bowl of grapes in the freezer will give you a fun and festive alternative to ice cubes for your beverages. No more watered down drinks, and it's sure to liven up any pary!
Lifehack: Kill yourself
[QUOTE=Dub!;45535855]Lifehack: Kill yourself[/QUOTE]
That's not a lifehack. Do you even know what "Lifehacks" are?
[QUOTE=Emperorconor;45533424]
Cook a steak to well done to prevent juices from splattering everywhere when you cut into the meat.[/QUOTE]
Hahahahaha
[B]No.[/B]
Don't shoot yourself in the face.
[QUOTE=Emperorconor;45533424]Cook a steak to well done to prevent juices from splattering everywhere when you cut into the meat.[/QUOTE]
lifehack: don't cut your steaks with a baseball bat
Puncture your lungs with a sharp blade - you want to make more holes in order to ensure you're always getting a good amount of air in your lungs.
An excellent way to impress any woman is to get the tip of your cock and squeeze it so the japs-eye opens and closes. Then uses this as a ventriloquist dummy. Using a Mexican sounding voice and calling them gringo adds a particularly humourous edge to this performance.
[sp]I actually do this to my girlfriends. It really does amuse them.[/sp]
An actual lifehack is using a tupperware sandwich box to microwave eggs for eggs on toast - they always come out the exact right shape for two slices of bread.
Tired of paying for expensive snacks? Just pick your nose and wipe the resulting boogers on a flat surface. When you feel you have enough, leave said surface in the sun for a few hours. Then scrape, salt and enjoy. Its healthier as you know exactly where it came from, and cheaper as all you are really paying for is salt, which you probably have around the house anyway. In this day and age its better that you have your hard earned money and not Big Snack Corporations.
I hope I did it right.
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