The Never Ending Dungeon V.5 - You slip on a banana peel and land face first on a landmine
677 replies, posted
xxfalconxx: Head to the nearest chimichanga shop and offer deadpool a job on your team in exchange for all the chimichangas he can eat!
Blackula: Use your powers of night to blanket the battlefield in darkness, reducing enemy visibility!
Aww shit.
With Ian's amount of SWAG, I wouldn't be surprised if he actually turned out to the ruler of hell someday. Does anybody even know what has happened to him? I haven't seen him post since he made that sandwich.
Anyway, now returned to my proper self, taking a few moments to wallow in sheer disappointment in myself for letting [i]Joke[/i] beat me up, and the fact that I missed out on hell, I prepare a devious scheme, to summon a being only known in legends...
I close my eyes and reach my grasp out into the abyss. I commence the ritual to find a [i]bird.[/i] Under this bird there are millions, and millions of people, chatting with eachother in brief sentances. Amongst all of these is the [I]Horse.[/I]
I seep my powers through the horse, and pull his body, soul, and being towards our dimension, putting his powers to somewhere it could be of use - that is, next to me.
I summon [URL="http://twitter.com/#!/horse_ebooks"][I]Horse ebooks![/I][/URL]
Let me ask you a question: Do
[B][I]Horse ebooks[/I][/B]
Twitter based spambot (Has mechanical quirks, like being able to be reprogrammed. However, with its random nature there's no telling what will happen.)
Random/Incomprehensible type (Effects and consequences from his commands are almost utterly unpredictable, and the horses alien programming makes it unable to be affected by effects that uses anything regarding the mind - such as emotional damage, or altering intelligence.)
The horse has two particular types of commands:
[b]Tweet:[/b]
Horse ebooks posts a command that is actually a tweet of my choosing. The effects of this tweet has to be based out of its contents, but what effect it is depends on the updater - keep in mind that this is not as simple as it sounds. The effect could be [i]anything[/i] as long it has some connection to the tweet. It might just damage a foe, but it may also flip the foe upside down, make it shout songs, and punch its own teammate. While the effect may be random, the outcome is still decided by a dice roll.
[b]New wisdom:[/b]
The horse doesn't immediately issue a command - instead it waits until the actual twitter account posts a new tweet, and then uses that. It functions almost exactly like [i]Tweet[/i], but unlike [i]Tweet[/i] its outcome doesn't depend on a roll, but rather on the quality of the tweet. How good the tweet is depends on the opinion of the updater.
[Editline]If you see this then you're an magician.[/editline]
Hey, welcome back Ian! I still have that sandwich if you want it. I'll give it to you next turn.
I'm right here.
Where I've ALWAYS BEEN.
-snip because second thoughts-
I'll roll to see if I can heal myself with my own Swag, thus possibly creating the new perk, EGOTISM!
[QUOTE=Ian;35551954]I'm right here.
-snip because second thoughts-
[/QUOTE]
I swear to god if you try to shoot me again I will see to it that you are struck with a meteor made of electrified steel that is filled with toxic waste that is also electrified.
I open up the supply crate and use a medkit (Does not use up my command)
Commands:
I open up the Weapon crate [B](When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons.)[/B] and attempt to dig out my old shotgun:
"Ol' Reliable"
>Old 12-gauge pump-action shotgun.
+1.5x damage
+Weapon cannot be lost, even after death.
+Weapon gains 1 free crit for every enemy killed (Must have more than 3,999 Maxhp and can only be used with this weapon)
-Holds 5 shots, after shells are used weapon must be reloaded which takes 1 turn
-25% more backfire damage
-No random crits, any 10s rolled using this gun will be reduced to a 9
Punisher Mech: Fire [B]Justice[/B] right at the Merc leader's face from an angle that allows it to also hit the Infiltrator.
"Justice.
>Insanely powerful laser cannon.
+1.5x damage,
+Can attack 2 enemies at the same time due to its penetrating nature,
+Ignores defence buffs,
-2 Turn recharge time between shots
-1.5x Backfire damage"
Zake: Use plot coupon to buy a nice plotline.
Merc Pointman: use double agent status to snap merc leaders' neck from behind.
Now that I am feeling up to it, I attempt to use one of the scalpels in the med-kit to carve myself a new leg from any nearby material possible.
I resort to the old fashioned method of curing cancer, cutting out the tumor with a combat knife, and replacing whatever organ/limb it was attached to with one from my body parts freezer. I take the time to program another surgery routine into my autodoc which should replace the fractured brain tissue in such a way that he'll be good as new.
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DaggerTNED1.jpg[/IMG]
[B]Dagger (aka White Spy):[/B]
[SUB]"Guess what killed off the dinosaurs? [I]The Ice Age![/I] *Oh Christ, did I really say that?*"[/sub]
Dagger adjusts the Ice Gun's settings from "Stun" to "Chill" via a convenient small knob on the side, and fires an icy beam at the Mercenary Leader.
[QUOTE][h2]Ice Gun[/h2]
[sp]-----------------------------------------------------[/sp]
[B]Description:[/B]
A special weapon capable of launching projectile gusts of sub-zero-degree temperature. A odd crystal seems to provide the energy needed to operate the device.
[sp]-----------------------------------------------------[/sp]
[B]Effects:[/B]
[highlight][B](1)[/B][/highlight] Base ATK is only [highlight]80%[/highlight].
[highlight][B](2)[/B][/highlight] Successful attack commands made with this weapon may freeze the target (determined by an after-command effect roll).
___ [B](a)[/B] Effect rolls of [B]7[/B], [B]8[/B], [B]9[/B], or [B]10[/B] result in freezing - the higher the roll, the longer the immobilization lasts.
[QUOTE][B](+)[/B] Effect roll of 7 - [I]Target frozen for [URL=]1 turn[/URL][/I].
[B](+)[/B] Effect roll of 8 - [I]Target frozen for [URL=]2 turns[/URL][/I].
[B](+)[/B] Effect roll of 9 - [I]Target frozen for [URL=]3 turns[/URL][/I] .
[B](+)[/B] Effect roll of 10 - [I]Target frozen for [URL=]4 turns[/URL][/I].[/QUOTE]
___ [B](b)[/B] Targets that are already frozen cannot be re-frozen by the Ice Gun until thawed.
[highlight][B](3)[/B][/highlight] Striking a frozen target with an attack whose primary roll outcome is [I]one point higher - but no greater -[/I] than the Ice Gun's roll responsible for inducing immobilization will inflict [b][URL=]50%[/URL][/b] more damage.
___ [B](a)[/B] The target will be dethawed after damage calculation.
[highlight][B](4)[/B][/highlight] This weapon can put out fires or cool things down.
[highlight][B](5)[/B][/highlight] The weapon's energy crystal must be replaced after being used [B]5 times.[/B]
___ [B](a)[/B] Reloading takes [B]2 turns[/B] to complete.[/QUOTE]
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[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/Cortez-StatusAffliction.jpg[/IMG]
[B]Cortez:[/B]
[SUB][I]*In a high-pitched tone*[/I] "Hey! ...What the hell just happened??"[/SUB]
While trying to piece together what just came over him, Cortez gets back onto his feet and tries again to convince Dawson to come back.
>I pull my pistol from its holster, load it, and begin on a search for allies.
OOC: hi can i join this?
Just make an entry post.
[QUOTE=chaosbull;35621497]OOC: hi can i join this?[/QUOTE]
Of course you can, there are no requirements to join this game. Just post a command and be on your merry way.
Also, you don't need to post "OOC" in your post. In this game we represent ourselves in the game, hench why we call eachother by username. We can however have added quirks of our choosing, but those are often developed through the game.
For example, I am a superintelligent scientist (however I am not sure that's entirely valid anymore), but is also channelled with the dark gods and have an eldritch abomination for a face.
ok thank you :)
attempt to land on the planet via the fourth dimension
It STOPPED again.
I will post an update tomorrow if I feel less sick and shitty.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;35657041]I will post an update tomorrow if I feel less sick and shitty.[/QUOTE]
Well, thanks anyways.
Here comes another helping hand, to perform CPR on this thread!
[B]-Ally Commands-[/B]
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Team Billy Maize:
Billy Maize : I shoot the merc leader right in the dick.
[B]Roll: 3. Failure. As you draw your weapon and plan to dramatically drop the possibility of the merc leader reproducing, you put on a smug smile and slowly point the weapon at crotch-height. So slowly, in fact, that the leader knows what's coming. He immediately moves out of the way, ruining your aim, and teaches you a lesson by kicking you in the crotch.
You drop to the ground in pain, and you don't think you're going to get up in a while. [I](600 damage, paralyzed for one turn.)[/I][/B]
Polar Bear: Sneeze Coca-Cola bottle shards at Merc Leader and his mercs.
[B]Roll: 5. Neutral. The Polar Bear sees his chance at ATTACK with the enemy distracted, so he thinks to sneeze the Coca-Cola shards that has been annoying him for so long. To his disappointment, he only manages to make an ordinary sneeze. The Polar Bear is sad because he worries that he's pointless, but when the mercs comment about how [I]cute[/I] his sneezing was it makes the Polar Bear happy again.[/B]
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Chaos bull: I attempt to land on the planet via the fourth dimension.
[B]Roll: 2. Severe failure. Seeing that you are needed to aid that team, you try to exit through time to arrive and help these people in the nefarious dungeon. However, you seem to have a problem.
You can't get out.
You try to twist, and turn, but the gateway in time refuses to open. You shout and scream, but to no avail. You take a few steps back and make one big rush in order to push the gate open. Just then, the doors react to your existence, and promptly opens, making its exit in the middle of the air. Your sprint has left you unable to control your fall, and that results to you landing head-first on the floor. As you barely manage to rise up, you realize that you can't even see straight. (750 damage to self, -1 to rolls for the next 3 turns.)[/B]
[sp]Welcome to the game! I'm sorry for the sour welcome, but everyone has had at least one kind of these rolls during their game.[/sp]
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Combiner: I summon [I][URL="http://twitter.com/#!/horse_ebooks"]Horse Ebooks![/URL][/I]
[B]Roll: 7. Success. Thinking of the perfect being for the perfect job, you tap into your eldritch force and reach your spiritual bond into the abyss. With your eyes glowing white, you scan the dark void, and you catch a glimp of blue. As you inspect it, you realize is a small bird, without any kinds of features at all, appearing as a silhouette. As you take a closer look at the bird, you suddenly hear words below you. Glancing down, you are caught by surprise, as the very void are filled with millions of millions of people, chatting with eachother, pushing around topics and discussing their surprise at the reality of Titanic.
You do not care about them, for you see what you have sought for. The [I]horse.[/I] Seeping your powers through it, you interrupt it in its latest attempt to deliver wisdom. You are saddened to make him lose the oppurtunity, but this is far more important. Once it becomes accustomed to your powers, you whisper [I]"Te sunt melius hic quam alibi, veni, equum e-librorum."[/I] You wait a few seconds for that to sink in, and then you PULL. The horse is dragged throughout the crowd, in order to rescue him from a life surrounded by pointless bickering, to place him in somewhere he can actually do some good. You laugh with glee, and in your ecstasy you raise your arms in the air like some sort of mad scientist. You scream the last words, only to reassure his arrival; "VENI, EQUUM E-LIBRORUM!"
You forgot that the ritual you're performing now delivers the target to the position that your arms are pointing, with a direction of three meters. So you deliver the horse right up above you. You don't get the chance to dodge, and you are crushed under its body. You have miraculously only received minor wounds, but it hurts like hell. The horse looks down on you and says "Think you ve felt a strong contraction in your abs before? Just wait." You raise your head to begin making a retort, but you stop and slump to the ground again.[I] (250 damage to self. Horse ebooks has joined team Combiner!) [/I][/B]
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Eva-1337: Now that I am feeling up to it, I attempt to use one of the scalpels in the med-kit to carve myself a new leg from any nearby material possible.
[B]Roll: 1. [I][U]CRITICAL FAILURE![/U][/I] Hatching a new plan, you reach out for the scalpel in the medkit, and a piece of wood nearby. You note that the wood is slightly rotten, but still sturdy enough. The blade's dull, and you only manage to cut a primitive replica. Now, you wonder how you are going to attach it to your body. Gritting your teeth, you manage to insert some of the sticks in the wood under your skin, to a great expense of pain and bleeding. The pain stops surprisingly fast, and you begin taking your first steps. You soon falter and lose the feeling in your body, and you look down to your leg to experience a horrifying sight; the tinge on what remains of your original leg is sickly yellow-green, and it doesn't take long for you to begin experience an even worse pain than before. You notice many hundreds of bugs creeping over your legs, and you close your eyes in order to not see the horrors your leg is put through. Minutes later, you die in extreme pain because of parasitic infection. [I](DEAD.)[/I][/B]
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Team Falcon:
Falcon: I head to the nearest chimichanga shop and offer Deadpool a job on my team in exchange for all the chimichangas he can eat!
[B]Roll: 8. Success! You take a wonderful stroll to the chimichanga shop located in the room to the right, and upon entering you notice the most awesome of all awesome characters; [I]Deadpool![/I] You engage in a conversation with him and he immediately scoffs, but you don't understand why. He explains - "it's this goddamn updater, why the hell does he think he knows what I'm sayin' or thinking or doing? He's such a shitty writer, and can't possibly portray me as anything that can be considered [I]me.[/I] That's how horrible he is." You sit down next to him and he continues; "And now you're off here and rolled an eight to recruit me haven't you? Amazing. I just can't wait to be slaughtered in a forum game that takes weeks to update." You look at him for a few moments and then ask; "You've know about the chimichangas, right?"
"Fuck YEAH I know about the chimichangas!" And just like that you burst out the window together with Deadpool in order to kick some major asses. [I](Deadpool has joined team Falcon!)[/I][/B]
Blackula: Blackula uses his powers of night to blanket the battlefield in darkness, reducing enemy visibility!
[B]Roll: 2. Severe failure! You draw the power of the nightsky itself, focusing it to a pinpoint. You then cast it over the battlefield, and cloud it with its engulfing darkness. However, your throwing arm is not very good, and you only manage to throw it, oh, five meters. The entire team is engulfed in the darkness, not being able to see anything. Your only hope is that the cloud threw of the enemies ability to spot you in it as well. [I](-2 to all rolls requiring visibility for the next two turns. Enemies suffer only a -1 penalty.)[/I][/B]
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Team Firearm:
Dagger: Dagger adjusts the Ice Gun's settings from "Stun" to "Chill" via a convenient small knob on the side, and fires an icy beam at the Mercenary Leader.
[B]Roll: 6 + 1 (Disarmed bag). Success. Taking the chance to test out the Ice Gun's potential you twist the knob to set the gun to its Chill setting. After that you point it straight at the mercenary leader and fire a glorious beam of concentrated cold. The merc looks over, before freezing to a crisp, and his face caught in an expression of surprise. (400 damage to leader. Frozen for this turn!)[/B]
Cortez: While trying to piece together what just came over him, Cortez gets back onto his feet and tries again to convince Dawson to come back.
[B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL! Cortez gets back on his feet, and closes in on Dawson again. Dawson quickly turns towards him again, ready to once again kick Cortez in the balls. Cortez stammers; "I'm sorry man, I don't know what came over me!" "[I]Came over you?[/I] That's just not a thing you just do randomly-" "I was desperate! I wanted you to come back! Nothing's the same without you, everything's pointless!" "Just like this is pointless for me? This is fun and all, but you'll manage without me. I have a life of my own, ya know. I need to settle down and complete my dream of having a family!" "[I]Fun?[/I] this isn't about having fun! We are depending on you - EVERYONE is depending on you! You're important to the team, I mean, what would these people do without you? Lose? Die? Look man, we need you cause without you we aren't a team anymore, but a group. A group of people batting their heads on the walls. But here's the thing - not only do we need you, [I]you[/I] need us. In this world, there's no telling what will happen to you, but with us, there is always someone for you! We are all in this together, so let's [I]do[/I] stuff together!" After Cortez's speech, Dawson's eyes are opened wide, and after a few moments Dawson delivers a battlecry, and runs back to battle, now with undying loyalty for his allies. [I](Dawson's back! New perk - Loyalty. Dawson can never leave or deceive his party, nor can he change sides, and he gains a +1 on rolls involving helping or cooperating with other allies or teammates.)[/I][/B]
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Folcrum flyer: I resort to the old fashioned method of curing cancer.
[B]Roll: 4. Minor failure. You pull out your combat knife and begin cutting out the tumor, but you stop when you realize that you don't have your body parts freezer with you. You are bleeding horribly, but you suppose that won't matter in the long run. [I](100 damage to self.)[/I][/B]
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Ian: I'll roll to see if I can heal myself with my own Swag, thus possibly creating the new perk, EGOTISM!
[B]Roll: 8. Success! You concentrate your swag in order to mend your wounds, and even though you didn't heal yourself completely, you feel your ego stronger than before! (500 damage healed, new perk = MINOR EGOTISM! [I](Activated on you killing an enemy. 1/4 of the damage dealt to kill the enemy heals you as well. This perk can be upgraded by further healing, including that of which is a result of this perk.)[/I][/B]
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Team Magmacow
Magmacow: I use a medkit to instantly heal myself, and then I try to open up the Weapon crate and dig out my old shotgun.
[B]Roll: 4 + 1 (weapon-get). Neutral. You try to open the large crate, but you don't have anything that can manage to pry it open. You do, however successfully apply the medkit. (+500 health to self.)[/B]
Punisher Mech: Fire [B]Justice[/B] right at the Merc leader's face from an angle that allows it to also hit the Infiltrator.
[B]Roll: 8. Success! The punisher stands tall on the battlefield, and regards its enemies with slight anger. It will fall into its hands to deliver justice to these scum. The punisher points [I]Justice[/I] at the frozen merc leader, and calculates the correct angle for the shot to ricochet against towards the Infiltrator. Punisher pulls the trigger and Justice roars to life. It hits the merc leader straight through his left arm, and the force makes a large amount of fissures in the ice. After that the beam ricochets of the wall and hits the infiltrator, who is caught in surprise as the beam burns half his face. You see that the ice around the leader thaws away, but he looks [I]far [/I]more worse for wear.
Justice have been served. [I](800 Damage * 1.5 (weapon stat) * 1.5 (Roll 1 higher than the attack used to freeze the enemy.) = [U]1800 damage[/U] to the Merc leader! 1200 damage to the infiltrator.)
[/I][/B]
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Mr. Destroyer: I name Mini D A Terry Fitzgerald and I name B Turd Fergison.
[B]Roll: 5. Neutral. You've taken a liking to your mini Ds, and such, you have decided to give them the names [I]Terry Fitzgerald[/I] and [I]Turd Fergison[/I] They seem to accept these titles.[/B]
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Mr. Face
I pull my pistol from its holster, load it, and begin on a search for allies.
[B]Roll: 9. As you emerge from the wreckage of your helicopter, you load your gun and scout around the area, looking for allies. In your search you stumble across a plant. Growing in the middle of nowhere. When you pluck it, you reveal that it's actually a small, grinning humanoid with thousands of teeth and large ears. Before you can say anything he says "HI I'M AN ALLY." After that another small humanoid pops up; "I'M ALSO AN ALLY." And another. And another. And another.
In the end, there are thousands of these allies, each seemingly dedicated to, well, ally themselves with you. You will never know if they simply consider themselves your allies, or if the name of their species is actually "Ally." Who cares, you got your own personal army.
[I](Horde of allies joined team Face! They got their own perk; ARMY! The allies can be split in order to do up to three different commands on one turn. If split up to do two different commands then the powers of the commands are also halved, same thing with three different commands, the power of the three commands is only 33% of the usual output. This applies to failures as well; for example, if the horde is split into three and one command fails, then the horde only takes 33% of the usual damage from that roll. This is to balance out the fact that the entire horde only has one healthpool, so even if only one of the commands result in failure it still hurts the entire army.)[/I][/B]
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Smas: Attempt to coerce Tony Stark to rejoin your team.
[B]Roll: 3. Failure. You go over to Tony in order to convince him to come back. When you ask him to do it, all he tells you are two words; "Convince me." You start right away; "Well, your suit's pretty much awesome, and that's an asset to use, don't you think? And regarding you, you are the best engineer I've ever seen, I mean, you were able to build a [I]suit of armor[/I] in a cave..."
"Oh god, please don't say it."
"WITH A BOX OF SCRA-"
Tony interrupts you by punching you in the face, because he had heard that joke one too many times. The metal colliding with your face makes you pretty sure that your nose is broken. Or your skull. Or both. [I](500 damage to self.)[/I][/B]
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Team Sunny Dei
Sunny Dei: I charge at the Merc Leader, hoping to take his head as part of my trophy collection
[B]Roll: 7. Success. Seeing the ice thawed of the Merc leader, you let out a roar, and charge straight ahead at him. You reach out with your hand in preparation to take off his head, but once you actually manage to get your hands on him you slip, since his face is still wet with water. Instead of being able to grab him, you only manage to slam him against the ground. It seems like it still did its job, though, as the leader is left with a concussion. [I]500 damage and concussion to the merc leader, can't attack this turn!)[/I][/B]
Dufflebag: After suppressing the voices in his head telling him he's a bag, he decided to throw a bomb at the Merc Leader as well.
[B]Roll: 3. Failure.[sp]The[/sp]Dufflebag fails to suppress the voices in his head, and begins to stumble around aimlessly before only barely managing to pull himself together. He sees the oppurtunity to hit the Merc leader while he's having a concussion, so he pulls out timed bomb.[sp]The[/sp]Dufflebag falter again, as the voices strike back. After collecting his thoughts he activates the bomb, but can't manage to throw the bomb until a few seconds later. The moment the bomb leaves his hand he notices that the display reads [I]0.5 seconds.[/I] As it explodes[sp]the[/sp]Dufflebag is forced back by recoil, and is shot a few dozen meters across the floor. As he lies there, he sobs a little and wonders if he really is a dufflebag, and that is why he can't properly throw bombs. [I](350 damage to self. Identity crisis! -1 to all rolls. The condition can't worsen, and any commands to cure him succeeds providing they're above 6.)[/I][/B]
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Team Zake
Zakedodead: I use plot coupon to buy a nice plotline.
[B]Roll: 9. Major success. Seeing that you need to change around our situation for the better, you use one of your plot coupons to buy yourself a more player-benefitting plotline for the future. As you tap into the power of the plot coupon, you spread fragments of [I]Deus ex Machina[/I] over your party, increasing their rolls by three in the coming two turns. [I](Fragments of Deus ex Machina added. Increases the teams' rolls by 3 in the next three turns.)
[/I][/B]
Merc Pointman: use double agent status to snap merc leaders' neck from behind.
[B]Roll: 6. Minor success. Watching the charge by Sunny Dei, the Pointman decide that this is the moment to strike. As his "leader" rises from the ground the pointman envelops his arms around the leader's throat. He screams in surprise and struggles and chokes for his dear life, but once Pointman tries to break his neck the leader manages to barely kick the Pointman away. How disappointing. He only left the leader with a bruise on his neck. Even though he's stunned, he still calls the pointman out on his treachery. [/B][B][I](120 damage to merc leader. Lost the double-agent perk.)[/I][/B]
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[B]-Enemy Commands-[/B]
Agent 5: Struggling in the rock trap, the agent tries to pull out a gun and fire towards Dagger.
[B]Roll: 10 - 1 (Manly as fuck perk.) Major success! Writhing in rock, Agent 5 screams in dismay. He pulls out his gun, and manages to peer out through the cracks. He points his gun toward the idiot with the ice gun - [I]Dagger,[/I] he recalls.[I] You are so dead.[/I] He shoots a bullet and it travels a short distance before going right through Dagger's head. The agent smiles as he sees Dagger slump down. Eventually, his smile turns upside down as he notices the spy rising up again, slowly turning towards the Agent. The agent gets anxious when he notices Dagger's scowl coupled with the nasty head wound. Holy fuck. He never imagined somebody could be so manly. [I](1500 damage to Dagger!)
[/I][/B]
Agent 9: Agent 9 tries something to get out of THIS BLOODY ROCK TRAP.
[B]Roll: 8. Success! Agent 5 is not the only one tired being fused into rock. After agent 9 throws around words that are not quite curses, he pulls himself together and taps into his reality powers. He changes the fabric of reality to remove the mending between body and rock, and then repel the rock around him with a force that would render it destroyed by the air resistance. The speed of these rocks break the sound barrier, and a thunderous, deafening sound echos throughout the battlefield as Agent 9 prepare for battle. [I](Released from rock trap!)[/I][/B]
Mercenary Marksman: 2,200/3,000 (Semi-Auto Assault Rifle): Assessing the situation of his leader being pummeled, he takes pot-shots against Sunny Dei.
[B]Roll: 3 (Leader buff not included - leader is stunned.) Failure. Seeing his dear leader slammed against the ground, he screams and quickly lift his assault rifle. With shaky hands he points at Sunny Dei, and fire. However, in his fear he doesn't hold the rifle properly, and the recoil makes the rifle slam against his jaw. The Marksman falls to the ground and starts crying, overwhelmed by his disappointment at himself and fear over the future for him and his friends. "This was only supposed to be a minor job! I don't want to die here!" [I](100 damage and 400 emotional damage to self.)[/I][/B]
Mercenary Infiltrator: Fuck this situation. It's time to turn this around, and FAST. I sneak into the enemy forces, and gun a bastard down.
[B]Roll: 9 (Leader buff not included - leader is stunned.) Major success. This is just wonderful, isn't it? Your boss is near death, Marksman's crying on the floor, and Pointman's a traitor. This will not do. Not do at ALL. You slip away from your team, and sneak into the mass of enemies. You avoid each and everyone, staying in their blind spots. In the end, you spot a man in armor that has created two abominable miniature version of himself. You find yourself repulsed by this sight, and decide to kill that BASTARD now, armor or not! You sneak up behind his back, and cock the sub-machinegun. Before he has a chance to turn around you unload the entire magazine into his torso. The bullets manage to shred the majority of his armor, but he seems to be unharmed. His [I]abominations[/I] react, and you are forced to slip away before they have a chance to alert the rest of the team. On your way out, you spot the miniatures circling around their master, who is currently wondering what the hell just happened. You scowl; you should've picked a better target. [I](1200 damage to Mr. Face's armor.)[/I][/B]
The mercenary leader is stunned this turn, and agent 5 take 500 damage from his rock trap.
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[B]-Current effects and other events-[/B]
[B]Night cloud[/B] = -2 to all commands requiring visibility to the entire party, only -1 to enemies. Lasts two turns, beginning with the next one.
[B]Deus ex Machina fragments[/B] = +3 to the rolls of the entire party, lasts two turns, beginning with the next one. This neutralizes the night cloud, but in order to use this power in its full potential you would need to destroy the night cloud.
[B]Paralyzation[/B] - Billy Maize is can't move next turn.
[B]Disorientation[/B] - Chaos bull got -1 to all rolls for the next 3 turns, beginning with the next one.
Homer can now move again, and Zarjk receives his power armor. (Rolls to attack Zarjk is decreased by 1. The armor lasts 4 attacks.)
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
[B]-Allies-[/B]
Team Anderson:
Mr.anderson: 1,500/2,000
Enderdragon: 1,500/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (no wings)
Grey Knight: 2,000/2,000
Team Billy:
Billy Maize: 800/2,000 (Heavy Pistol) (Paralyzed for one turn)
Polar Bear: 1,900/2,000
Team Bl1tz:
Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1))
Team Chaos bull:
Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 (Disorientation: -1 to rolls for three turns! 0/3)
Team Combiner:
Combiner8761: 650/2,000 (dark powers) (SANDWICH OF GODS!)
Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.)
Team Cookie:
Cookie53: DEAD!
Team Drasar:
Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover)
Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used)
Team Egbert:
John Egbert: 2,000/2,000
Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000
Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000
Team Eva:
Eva-1337: 0/1,500 (DEAD.)
Team Face:
Mr. Face: 1,500/2,000
Horde of allies: 3000/3000.
Team Falcon
xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000
Blacula: 1,000/2,000
Deadpool: 2,000/2,000
Team Foob:
Foobagooba: 2,000/2,000
Team Firearms:
Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger)
Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Hurricane buffer: Will be constructed in 1/3 turns) (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) [B](Back in business!)
[/B]Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula)
Cortez: 1,900/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things))
Team Folcrum
Folcrum_flyer: 1,900/2,000 (Enchanted cheese cancer: Will die in 3 turns if cure isn't found! 1/3 turns has passed!)
Scald: Bullet through head!
Team Hidole:
Hidole555: 2,100/2,200
Team Insanity:
InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds)
Team Ian:
Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!)
Team Jarrod:
Jarrod: 1,900/2,000 (Broken Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet)
Team Magma:
Magmacow358: 1100/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster)
Punisher Mech: 3,300/4,000 (Justice)
Crate of Supplies: 4/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.).
Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 3/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons.
Team Destroyer
Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers)
Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500
Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500
Team Face
Mr.face: 1,500/2,000
Team Nomad:
PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun)
Team Samiam:
Samiam22: 1,900/2,000
Team Smas:
Smas: 1,700/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill))
Team Sunny:
Sunny Dei: 1,500/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead))
DuffleBag: 1,550/2,000 (Bolter)
That Team:
That Ninja: 1,500/2,000
Team Trounark:
Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols)
Team Samppa:
Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls))
Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs))
Team Zake:
Zakedodead: 1,900/2,200 (Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons)
Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000
Team Zarjk:
Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (copy of halo 3) (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4)
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
[B]-Enemies-[/B]
Agent 5: 9,500/10,000(Rock trap(-500 HP/turn))
Agent 9: 10,000/10,000
Mercenary Leader: 1,880/5,000 (+1 to Rolls for all other Mercenaries)
Mercenary Marksman: 1,700/3,000 (Semi-Auto Assault Rifle)
Mercenary Infiltrator: 1,000/3,000 (Sub-Machine Gun)
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
[B]-Neutral-[/B]
Tony Stark: 600/2,000 (Mark III Iron Man: 2,000/2,000)
The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000
Haze: 1,600/2,000(Flying) (noxious gas vents) (reduces enemy defence to 80% on successful gas-based attack until enemy rolls 5 or above)
Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair)
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
Let's get this thread back on track!
Sweet. (Before anyone inevitably asks, I gave combiner permission to update.)
My commands:
Magmacow358: I turn on my night-vision (Therefore hopefully negating the darkness debuff) and kick open the crate before attempting to pull my shotgun ([B]Ol' Reliable[/B]) out.
Punisher Mech: Put a large rock ontop of Agent 5.
Blackula: Night? Ha! The night is your element! You sense by [I]Smell.[/I] FEAST UPON THE ENEMY! AH AH AHHH!
Deadpool: They're going to try to roll terribly to kill your new chimichanga suppl-I mean best bud. You better break that fourth wall and... Convince them not to.
falcon: If stark won't use his suit, then you will. You use half the power of your mirror to transfer his Mark III Iron man suit effect to you. (roll a 6 or above to succeed)
I build exo-suits for my mini children, equipped with rocket launchers and teleportation devices.
Polar Bear: Shove a coke into Billy Maize's throat to help him regain health
I'm sorry that I haven't been around, it's just that my life has been more or less a mess at the moment. After this week, I am open to do updates whenever, since this week marks the end of my free ride through the dual-enrollment education system.
See you all later, and good luck to you all.
i, summon bag of cookie ^_^
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DawsontheRiotOfficer2.jpg[/IMG]
[B]Dawson the Riot Officer:[/B]
[SUB]"Better give Dagger some cover - and fast!"[/sub]
To provide Dagger additional time to recooperate, Dawson decides to have his comrade take cover behind him in a defensive position.
[QUOTE][I]All attacks that target Dagger will be instead directed to Dawson the Riot Officer. In addition, all incoming damage is reduced by 35%[/I].[/QUOTE]
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[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DaggerTNED1.jpg[/IMG]
[B]Dagger (aka White Spy):[/B]
[SUB]*Spits out blood*[/sub]
Dagger digs through his briefcase to find any medical supplies that can be used to treat his near-mortal injuries.
------------------------------------------------
[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/HomerAttack.jpg[/IMG]
[B]Homer:[/B]
[SUB]"My turn!"[/SUB]
Looking at the frozen Mercenary leader, Homer gives off a small chuckle and launches a [I]Kinetic Donut[/I] projectile attack!
[QUOTE][IMG]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120224185023/mugen/images/8/85/Homerdonutthrow.gif[/IMG][IMG]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120224185241/mugen/images/3/3e/Homerdonut.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE]
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[IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/Cortez-StatusAffliction.jpg[/IMG]
[B]Cortez:[/B]
[SUB]"It's time to split!"[/SUB]
Cortez takes out a concealed plasma pistol and fires several shots at the mercenary leader!
Army and Mr. Face: Goes in search of weapons.
Preferably M4A1s.
I just found out that the ice gun has two rolls - a damage roll and an effect roll. I simply used one roll for damage and effect.
Dammit.
I'll make sure to not make that mistake again, but for now keep in mind that the Mercenary leader is [B]thawed.[/B] This is because of the weapons stats;
[quote](3) Striking a frozen target with an attack whose primary roll outcome is one point higher - but no greater - than the Ice Gun's roll responsible for inducing immobilization will inflict 50% more damage.
___ (a) The target will be dethawed after damage calculation.[/quote]
As Dagger got a 7 to freeze the target, and the Punisher Mech then got an 8, the Punisher Mech dealt extra damage and the Mercenary leader thawed.
You know what, i feel like playing this again.
I return in a glorious matter that defies the very basic priciples of space and time. (Fuck you reletivity!)
Grey knight: Call [b]The Courier[/b] as we need someone from fallout in here.
Enderdragon: Pull a pair of wings out of its ass and re-attatch them, hoping to regain some health as well.
I use my flaming war-axe to decapitate the dazed Merc Leader
Dufflebag: GET A FUCKING GRIP OF YOURSELF! YOU. ARE. A. CHAOS MARINE!
After I manage to pull myself together, I still remember that vague promise to Ian earlier. Proving the fact that people directly infused with the powers of the eldritch gods are actually cool guys, I give Ian the SANDVICH OF GODS!
But, by Ubbo-Sathla these wounds hurt.
Horse Ebooks:
Your Plants Grow Abundantly, Taste Amazing, and Are Extremely Healthy. Here s How It Works: Here s what you ll find
Replace my torn up body bits with ones from hazes corpse.
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