The Never Ending Dungeon V.5 - You slip on a banana peel and land face first on a landmine
677 replies, posted
zake: Charge into the group of mercenaries with my holy sword.
merc: reacts using his mercenary training to open a can of karate whoopass on the merc leader
Omfg, please update... No offense, but four days since the last command, and over three weeks since the last update? really?
Working on it RIGHT NOW.
I'm very sorry for the delay, I've had problems with schoolwork and such.
Expect it in, oh, one to three hours, at most.
Also, three weeks? Shit, it's been worse than I thought.
Goddamn so many stuff I must write.
Sorry guys, it may take an hour more.
In about 10 to 20 minutes now...
It's FINALLY done! Yes!
As I am now a respected player, I will keep posting updates at will. Let's just hope they work.
By the way I noticed; Haze isn't dead, nor does he have a reason to be neutral. Why is he neutral?
What the hell, I added him back to Folcrum's team.
[B]
-Ally Commands-
For all turns except when informed otherwise: +1 to rolls. [-2 ([I]Night cloud)[/I] +3 [I](Deus ex Machina fragments.)[/I]] Night cloud and Deus ex Machina fragments will be referred as NC and DX, respectively.
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Team Billy Maize:
Polar Bear: Shove a coke into Billy Maize's throat to help him regain health.
[B]Roll: 7 + 1 = 8. Success. The Polar Bear grows more and more distraught as he watches his master twist with pain, and the battlefield rapidly going darker. He loses track of Billy, and run around in fear. But then, he suddenly bumps into Billy's body! Smiling and growing more confident, the bear decides that the best course of action is to help his master.
Taking out a coca-cola bottle, using the magic that only polar bears possess, he jams it down his master throat in an attempt to heal him. Billy Maize chokes a little on the glass, but when he feels the sweet taste of coke he takes the bottle out of his mouth and rises up from the ground, with a smile on his face.
The Polar Bear is absolutely ecstatic. [I](+800 health to Billy Maize.)[/I][/B]
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Chaos bull: I summon bag of cookie.
[B]Roll: 7 + 2 = 9. [/B][B]Success! [/B][B](NC doesn't affect this - summoning doesn't require vision. Gets -1 from his disorientation.)
Not the least put off by your failing vision, you give a broad smile and tap into your powers of magic. The powers you possess are different from the eldritch, though. As a matter of fact, those powers are pretty much the opposite of what you have.
Still smiling, you flow the powers through the space-time continuum, but you find that it is harder to navigate, with your mind dizzy as it is. But it seems unnaturally easy to you, regardless. As someone was guiding you, or that some kind hackneyed plot device made sure you wouldn't fail. In the end, you come to a better reality, a better place, a better future. You find a being of particular interest, and is envelop him in your powers, putting it almost in a trance-like state. And then suddenly, you transfer his very essence to this world, and when you open your eyes you find him already there.
You summon Bag of Cookie.
Bag of Cookie looks around in fear and confusion, but you quickly reassure him that he was brought here for a reason. You don't know yourself what that reason is but it's probably important! ([I]Bag of cookie has joined team Chaos bull! Has a perk: Sweetness! +1 to rolls that's intended to heal people.[/I])[/B]
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Team Combiner:
Combiner: I give Ian the SANDWICH OF GODS!
[B]Roll: 5 + 1. Minor success. You remember the vague promise you told Ian before summoning that horse, and you decide to honor that promise. You take the sandwich out of your pocket. After looking at it for a few moments, your eldritch contacts lash out in spite, disgusted by the holy power of the sandwich. The sheer anger makes you drop to the ground, and make futile attempts at calming the eldritch monstrosities. But you must take it to Ian, to prove that despite your unholy powers you're [I]still [/I]a pretty cool guy. You struggle through the darkness, worried that you may never find him, but the cloud lets up for a moment, to make Ian notice you. He sees his chance at payback for the body-switcharound, but reconsiders when he sees the sandwich. He takes it with as much SWAG possible, but then puts on a nasty scowl, as your eldritch contacts gradually calm down. You notice that the sandwich is not as bright as it used to be, and in fact still have some traces of your eldritch power. You desperately absorb what's left of the darkness, but it's already too late. Many of the capital letters that adorned the name of this creation is gone, and the sandwich is weakened. [I](Gave the Sandwich of Gods to Ian, but it is weakened; it heals 3/4 of full health and only carries a 3x damage crit.)[/I]
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Horse Ebooks: Your Plants Grow Abundantly, Taste Amazing, and Are Extremely Healthy. Here s How It Works: Here s what you ll find
[B]Roll: 6 + 1 = Success. (Perhaps. I don't know what the fuck ever about how plot devices work on the horse, or if it even relies on vision. And I summoned the damn thing.)
The Horse stands on the battlefield, completely still. Suddenly, it bellows; "YOUR PLANTS GROW ABUNDANTLY, TASTE AMAZING AND ARE EXTREMELY HEALTHY." As the horse says this the ground on the battlefield cracks, revealing small sprouts. But they don't seem to grow any further, and one can only wonder why. You would think it's all over, but the horse bellow again: "HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:" the horse almost screams, as a magic bag of fertilizer pops out of nothing in front of him. "HERE S WHAT YOU LL FIND" the bag promptly shoots itself into the air, circling around the battlefield before tunneling underground. So... we need to find that bag in order to... make the plants grow? Or to grow some more?
I don't even know anymore. [I](Weird sprouts appeared. Are they healthy or something? We need to find the fertilizer[/I][/B][B][I] in order to make them grow? What the hell horse.)[/I]
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Team Falcon:
Blackula: Night? Ha! The night is your element! You sense by Smell. FEAST UPON THE ENEMY! AH AH AHHH!
[B]Roll: 5 + 3 = 8. [/B][B]Success! [/B][B]([I]NC [/I]doesn't affect this - he uses smell, not vision.)
[/B][B]After you accidentally cloud the entire field with darkness, you only stop for a few moments before you regaining your confidence and take a big sniff. The cloud is incredibly thick, and you doubt that you could sense anything beyond the range of, oh, 10 meters. Fortunately, you notice somebody nearby, and that he hasn't noticed you. You can tell that he is also somebody that is quite adept at hiding in the shadow, just like you. Unlike you he desperately tries to get out of the cloud, stumbling around and making quite a bit of a mess. You decide that this is a disgrace to the very being of night, and you silently creep up to him. In the last moment he finally notices you, but then you already have your fangs on his neck. He struggles, and manages to fire off an assortment of bullets from his sub-machine gun. You let go in fear of being hit, and he falters away quickly beyond your senses.
Hmm. At least you got your dinner. (700 damage to Merc. Infiltrator! +350 health to Blackula.)[/B]
Deadpool: They're going to try to roll terribly to kill your new chimichanga suppl-I mean best bud. You better break that fourth wall and... Convince them not to.
[B]Roll: 10 + 1 still equals 10. CRITICAL CONVINCING! Deadpool looks throughout the cloud at the enemy side, because he knows that the cloud is not really a hinder, only a minus to rolls, something neutralized by the DX anyway. So he doesn't care much about the 'consistency' thing. After scolding the updater for referring to him in thirdperson, [I]you [/I]decide that it would better for all of us, that is to say better for [I]you,[/I] if nobody rolled something that could potentially destroy your chimichanga supp-
You mean,
Your best bud. How redundant, why do you have to recite the exact same line from the command in the outcome? That just spells laziness. Hell, the updater even cut of on the same letter! What the fuck kind of person is this guy?
No matter. You know everything about this game, so you also know that these guys are all kinds of outmatched. You walk up to the strongest opponent, the one that [I]isn't [/I]throwing curses around while being stuck in a rock trap. As you saunter up to him he draws his gun and fires.
Of course, you saw that coming, and using you extreme leet skills you have already put your katana in the same spot where the bullet would go, and it ricochets of and flies into the air.
'Oh come the FUCK on! I rolled an eight!' he says. You quirk an eyebrow and ask 'So... you know this is a game?' 'Of course I do. That's the reason I'm an agent! Well, one of the reasons anyway.' 'Then you know your outnumbered, outrolled and most of all, [I]outmatched.[/I] Why do even keep doing this?' 'Because I'm an [I]enemy, [/I]you idiot! I'm supposed to kill you! You have been the biggest pain in our ass since version 1!' 'If your reasoning is that we are killing you nonstop, then why do you think you're any different? Look guy, we took down a MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON. Compared to his 20 000 your 10 000 hp ain't shit. You're limited to rolls as we are, and the only real chance you got at killing us right now is a ten. Which is near impossible due to that cloud. See where I'm going with this?' The agent stops, ponders for a moment, and then screams; "FUCK THIS! FUCK YOU! FUCK THE SO CALLED AGENTS, AND FUCK. THIS. GAME! I'M OUT.' The agent takes the gun to his head and fires. He rolls a six. When the 150 damage is applied to his health, he simply gives up and strolls to the sideline, sitting down and simply not doing anything. [I](150 damage to Agent 9. Agent 9 turned neutral!)[/I]
[/B]Falcon: If stark won't use his suit, then you will. You use half the power of your mirror to transfer his Mark III Iron man suit effect to you. (roll a 6 or above to succeed)
[B]Roll: 6 + 1 = 7. Success. After seeing Smas knocked senseless, you decide that since Tony isn't planning on using that suit, why would he be upset if you borrowed its power? Using your mirror, you swap the suit's energy with the air around you, creating a weak forcefield. Tony isn't upset about your thieving escapades, in fact, he is actually quite happy, because the air is actually quite comfortable. [I](Added forcefield effect of 350 health! Tony Stark has -350 health to his Mark III Iron man suit.)
[/I][/B]
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Team Firearm:
Dawson: To provide Dagger additional time to recooperate, Dawson decides to have his comrade take cover behind him in a defensive position.
[B]Roll: 7 + 2 = 9. [/B][B]Major success. [/B][B](Loyalty adds one.)
After seeing Dagger take quite a heavy bullet to the head, Dawson decides that he MUST help his friend! Stepping in front of him, it is as Dawson's very will becomes a brick wall. Dagger's spitting blood, but he still has the breath to say his thanks. [I](As long as Dawson is shielding Dagger all attacks against either are redirected towards Dawson, and the damage is decreased by 35%. While being under the watch of Dawson Dagger can't be killed by self-gained or ally damage if the roll is above 2, and instead is downed to one hitpoint. Keep in mind though that while having one hitpoint he can die by self-inflicted or allied damage.)[/I][/B]
Dagger: Dagger digs through his briefcase to find any medical supplies that can be used to treat his near-mortal injuries.
[B]Roll: 4 + 1. Neutral. Even though Dagger is near-death he still keeps calm, digging through his suitcase as his vision is gradually growing darker. As if by some miracle he manages to dig out a syringe filled to the brim with the fantastic wonder of... homeopathic medicine.
Fuck.
[/B]Cortez: Cortez takes out a concealed plasma pistol and fires several shots at the mercenary leader!
[B]Roll: 2 + 1. Failure. After finally convincing Dawson to return to the team Cortez decide to have a shot at the that leader guy. He prepares to turn that sentence into a literal one by taking out a concealed plasma pistol and fire a bolt of superheated plasma. Unfortunately for him, everything in that statement was literal, but not the one before. The bolt is so superheated it catches fire, melting the pistol before a little before exploding, sending nasty bits of shrapnel and plasma, right into his face. It hurts like hell, and he scream as a result. This was certainly not the best way to re-enter combat. [I](500 damage to Cortez!)
[/I][/B]Homer: Homer launches a [I]Kinetic Donut projectile attack!
[/I][B]Roll: 5 + 1. Minor success. Seeing the Merc. Leader on the ground, Homer gives a small chuckle and prepares his powerful [I]Kinetic Donut projectile attack! [/I]Building up power in his muscles, Homer throws the donut with as much strength as he can muster. The donut soars through the air and bounces meekly of the leaders head. Homer stands there, eyes wide, as he hears a small "ow" from the mercenary. Well. At least some kind of damage was inflicted.
(1 damage to the Merc. leader.)
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Folcrum flyer: Replace my torn up body bits with ones from hazes corpse.
[B]Roll: 8 + 1 = 9. Major success! Your vision is blurring horribly, not helped by the dark cloud surrounding you, and you have an headache that could be compared to a living in hell. Wait, no this is worse. At least in hell they give you coffee.
Stopping your wandering thoughts before you can form them properly you come to the conclusion that maimed body parts and cancer is bad for you, and you need to improvise in order to fix your condition. Stepping over to Haze, who is wondering what the hell you're doing, you try to cut of his body parts with your trusty combat knife. He screams and struggles, but you eventually get what you were looking for; a great deal of his body parts. As you leave him weeping you begin to force the weird steel-infused skin onto your damaged body parts. It fuses together without any real explanation, and suddenly you feel the need to vomit. After that you suddenly feel... better? It seems that Haze's toxic nature has killed the cancer cells. How incredibly convenient! As you put on a smile you hear a whimper behind you; "You could've asked..." [I](Cancer cured, and +100 health to Folcrum flyer! 750 damage to poor Haze, though.)[/I][/B]
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Team Magmacow
Magmacow: I turn on my night-vision (Therefore hopefully negating the darkness debuff) and kick open the crate before attempting to pull my shotgun ([B]Ol' Reliable[/B]) out.
[B]Roll: 9 + 4 = 10. [/B][B]CRITICAL RETRIEVAL! [/B][B](No NC, AND weapon-get command. Holy fuck. Unfortunate that it caps at 10.)
Seeing the cloud enveloping you, you tune your photoreceptors to take in more light, as you have learned to do. Effectively establishing nightvision, you once again attempt to get your shotgun, Ol' Reliable out of that crate. You kick the crate and it falls apart with an explosion of light, revealing to you that the old reliable weapon that you have known is actually now something different. Something better. The lack of nostalgia only brings minor disappointment, as you dig out the shotgun you know you will love. [I](Weapon get; New Reliable! Carries 8 shots instead of 5, and gains two crits instead of one when killing an enemy!)[/I][/B]
Punisher Mech: Put a large rock ontop of Agent 5.
[B]Roll: 1 + 1 = 2. Severe failure! As the Punisher Mech see the malicious agent taking a shot at Dagger, it decides that, clearly, one rock trap isn't enough to keep these criminals at bay. It tries to establish the agent's permanent prison sentence by picking up a large rock. A very big one, in fact. As the shadow lumbers over the agent he notices the Punisher, and in desperation fires a shot directly at one of the mech's legs. The mech falters and loses its balance, but before falling to the ground it manages to at least throw the rock against the agent. In a strange twist of fate instead of the rock adding to the prison it completely decimated it, allowing number five to slip out, completely unharmed. He pulls a few laughs before he shoots you again. And again. And again. He only stops when he notices he's out of bullets.[I] (1000 damage to the Punisher Mech, Agent 5 released from rock trap!)[/I][/B]
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Tean Anderson:
Mr. Anderson: I return in a glorious matter that defies the very basic priciples of space and time. (Fuck you reletivity!)
[B]Roll: 4 + 1 = 5. Neutral. You decide that it is time for your glorious return, and you burst through all of the universes dimensions at once, warping space around you, which proves to be a ultimate fuck you to Einstein and the very idea of relativity, as you stand on the battlefield, finally arrived.
So, uh. What did that accomplish?
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Grey knight: Call [B]The Courier[/B] as we need someone from fallout in here.
[B]Roll: 1 + 3 = 4. (I don't consider calling someone a thing that requires vision. Plus, if I didn't debuff Chaos bull for summoning, why the Grey knight?)
Minor failure. The grey knight picks up his cell phone, that is very-definitely accurate to the medieval theme the knight has, and calls the Courier. Unfortunately, you reach only his voicemail, Benny. He is very informative with telling you that the courier is busy being shot in the head, and probably won't be back in forever. This is only sweetened by the fact that it calls you an idiot, and tells you not to leave a message after the beep. You are saddened by the fact that the Courier hasn't even begun his game, and therefore not a good candidate for an ally. You sit down and sob a little, for what's really important is that someone could kill people for you, and not rinky-dinky stuff like friendship. [I](100 emotional damage to the Grey knight.)
[/I][/B]
Enderdragon: Pull a pair wings out of its ass and re-attach them, hoping to regain some health as well.
[B]Roll: 7 + 1 = 8. Returning into the game, the Enderdragon are put off by the lack of wings he is having. He decides that this will not do, and that he must have those wings! Continuing the fashion of decimating proper story-telling, the dragon pulls out a majestic pair of wings out of his ass, and slaps them onto his back. It feels fantastic to feel those familiar polygons, and he flap them a bit before roaring and returning to battle. [I](Wing re-added. +500 health to the Enderdragon.)
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Mr. Destroyer: I build exo-suits for my mini children, equipped with rocket launchers and teleportation devices.
[B]Roll: 8 + 1 = 9. Feeling proud of your children chasing of that infiltrator, you decide to reward them with their own awesome exo-suits, as you conjure the elements out of thin air, mashing them together in order to create a shining example of engineering. Terry and Turd are happier than they could ever be, testing out the suits amazing features. [I](Exo-suits added to the Mini-Ds! Equipped with rocketlaunchers - a three use item that deals a certain 1000 damage, not needing rolls. They are also equipped with teleporters - the children can traverse to any location instantly, and can integrate this function in attacks or other kind of commands, with a +1 bonus. The teleporter has, however, a two-turn cooldown.)
[/I][/B]
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Team Mr. Face
Mr. Face: Go in search of weapons. Preferably M4A1s.
[B]Roll: 1 + 1 = 2. Severe failure! After getting the Horde of allies to join your party, you decide to saunter of to look for weapons, in particular M4A1s. You give the order to your companions as well, and you split up. You eventually find a gas station with a quite energetic attendant, with a large grin and fast talk. You see he carries around quite a decent M4A1, and you smile and demand his weapon. He stops in his tracks and turns his grin into a scowl by the likes you've never seen before. [I]"You wanna take the SWEETIE as well, don't you? You should learn a lesson, you all should, after you GODDAMN scavengers took mah crate you should. Have. KNOWN not to return. YOU AIN'T GONNA TAKE HER, I'LL TAKE YOU!"
[/I]
He promptly unleashes a barrage of bullets in your belly. It hurts, but you are more worried with the addition of a new enemy. [I](500 damage to Mr. Face, Gas attendant added as enemy! Has quite a decent M4A1.)[/I]
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Horde of allies: ALSO SEARCH FOR M4A1S.
[B]Roll: 5 + 1 = 6. Minor success. Concentrated in a single group, the allies have a good search throughout the landscape, and finds a crate submerged in a pool. Rushing towards it, the allies break the crate, revealing a shitty pile of rusty M4A1s. They pick them up, but it's apparent that they are in very bad shape, and need repairs. ([I]Added shitty pile of M4A1s, available for use to the entire army and Mr. Face. The guns stats are as follows;)
[/I][/B][quote]
[U]Rusty M4A1(s)
[/U]The trusty rifle, all beaten up and ruined. How tragic.
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[B]Fully automatic:[/B] If specified in the command, the effects from the outcome is are multiplied by two, good or bad, and the roll is decreased by 1. (Cannot be upgraded)
[B]Rusty firing system:[/B] -1 roll penalty. (Can be upgraded to [B]reliable firing system[/B] and get a +1 bonus.)
[B]Horrible stopping power:[/B] -50% damage penalty. (Can be upgraded to [B]bad stopping power[/B], decreasing the penalty to -25% damage.)
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Team Sunny Dei
Sunny Dei: I use my flaming war-axe to decapitate the dazed Merc Leader.
[B]Roll: 9 + 1 = 10. CRITICAL HIT! After slamming the Merc. leader into the ground you are angry enough to continue your rampage. Your eyes are is as burning, your teeth bared and your roar loud. From the very fury of your soul the waraxe in your hand is set ablaze, with enough power to destroy all who stands in its way. Charging, you push the pointman aside and see the leader's very worried face. You take the axe in your hands, and with the most furious chop you have ever swung, the leader's head flies right of, before bursting into flames with the rest of his body. Taking the still-burning head in your hand, you hold it aloft for all the enemies to see. A lot of them scream and even the traitor looks worried. Now they know that you are NOBODY TO BE TRIFLED WITH. [I](FUCKING DECAPITATED THE MERCENARY LEADER! All mercenaries have -1 to rolls, with the exception of pointman. But even pointman has now an instinctive fear of Sunny Dei.)[/I]
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Dufflebag: GET A FUCKING GRIP OF YOURSELF! YOU. ARE. A. CHAOS MARINE!
[B]Roll: 5 + 2 = 7. [/B][B]Success. [/B][B](NC doesn't apply, and the -1 is because of identity crisis.)
[sp]You can't deny it. The[/sp]Dufflebag tries to fend of the voices, but he once again falls to the ground.[sp]Do not doubt us. He is what we tell him he is. Yes. The[/sp]Dufflebag struggles, trying to silence the voices that may very well bring about his demise. He says to himself; "I'm a chaos marine..."[sp]No.[/sp]"I'm a CHAOS marine."[sp]Stop lying.[/sp] "I AM a CHAOS. MARINE!"[sp]You do not even realize why we insist, do you?[/sp]"I. AM. A. CHAOS. MARINE!" And just like that, the voices are gone, and the Dufflebag falters up, and takes a long, deep sigh. [I](Identity crisis resolved!)[/I]
[sp]You are truly fools. One day you will understand. You do not realize that his chaos is his own weakness. Yes.[/sp]
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Team Zake
Zake: Charge into the group of mercenaries with my holy sword
[B]Roll: 3 + 1. Minor failure. Taking your sword in hand, you can just feel the powers of the plot devices running through you. You run through the cloud, confident that the Deus ex Machina will lead you to your target. And it does! You charge right into the Merc. Marksman, who is screaming for his dear life. As you get ready to stab him in the chest he fires a round right into your hand. Dropping the sword, you are forced to make an hasty retreat. Dammit. How are you going to get that sword back? [I](50 damage to Zake, lost sword! Retrieving it is a weapon-get command, so the same rules apply. (Minimum of three, and +1 to the roll.))[/I][/B]
Merc Pointman: Reacts, using his mercenary training, to open a can of karate whoopass on the merc leader.
[B]Roll: 3 + 1. Minor failure. The pointman gets ready to strike once more against the leader, but he suddenly hears an inhuman roar. Before he can react any further he's violently pushed aside by some kind of [I]monster! [/I]Your leader is violently decapitated, and the next moment you see a giant flame, as a brute smiles with a grin that bares description, something that inspires nothing but sheer [I]terror.[/I] Oh my god [I]GET IT AWAY! GET IT [/I][U][I]AWAY![/I][/U] [I](Scared shitless by Sunny Dei - any commands involving him will automatically result in minor failure. Can be treated.)
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[B]
-Enemy Commands-[/B]
Agent 5: This 'Deus ex Machina' shit is so OVERPOWERED! DESTROY IT SOMEHOW!
[B]Roll: 7. [/B][B]Success. [/B][B](NC doesn't affect this.)
You hate that bloody PLOT DEVICE, it makes those moronic beings so powerful! You will make sure it gets destroyed. By pointing out how much it sucks, of course! "THE DEUS EX MACHINA IS SO BLOODY AWFUL THAT IT BEING USED IS AN INSULT TO THE VERY TEXT ON THIS PAGE!" you scream, breaking the fourth wall, "NOT ONLY THAT, BUT IT MAKES THE GAME FAR TOO EASY FOR THE PLAYERS! WE HAVE NOTHING TO EVEN THAT BONUS OUT, PARTICULARLY CONSIDERING THIS BLOODY CLOUD! COME ON, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO RESORT TO SUCH POOR MECHANICS? FOR THE GOOD OF EVERYONE, DESTROY THE THING!" When you finish, you notice that the presence of plot devices are still there, but weakened. The only thing it does now is neutralizing the cloud. Good enough, you suppose. [I](DX Mach. Fragments weakened! Only provides +2 to rolls.)[/I][/B]
Mercenary Marksman: Retaliate! Now! We need those bastards GONE.
[B]Roll: 7 - 2 = 5. [/B][B](Scared shitless of Sunny Dei, also NC.)[/B][B]
Neutral. No, thank you, I'm going to sit this one out. I'm done with demonic brutes, killing leaders, night clouds, plot devices, I'm done with all of this! No more! NO MORE![/B]
Mercenary Infiltrator: Heal your wounds you got from that freaking vampire!
[B]Roll: 9 - 2 = 7. [/B][B](Scared shitless and NC)
[/B][B]Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK. [I]WHERE [/I]did that bastard come from? And HOW DID YOUR LEADER DIE FROM THAT FUCK? HE WAS [I]YOUR[/I] LEADER! THE BEST! I mean... SHIT. You need to heal yourself, now! Otherwise, we have no chance! Surprisingly lucid in your fear, you disinfect the wound, take out your bandages, wrap them around tight, and yell in pain. You never liked self-treatment, but you had no choice now. Even though you're trapped in enemy territory, with your leader dead, and possibly turning into a vampire, you still feel better now. But goddamn. [I](+400 health to Merc. Infiltrator.)[/I][/B]
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-Current effects and other events-[/B]
Night cloud = -2 to all commands requiring visibility to the entire party, only -1 to enemies. Lasts two turns. (1/2)
Deus ex Machina fragments = +2 to the rolls of the entire party, lasts two turns. This neutralizes the night cloud, but in order to use this power in its full potential you would need to destroy the night cloud. (1/2)
Disorientation - Chaos bull got -1 to all rolls for three turns. (1/3)
Dawson's protection service - All attacks against dagger is redirected at Dawson and deals 35% less damage. Dagger can't die by self-gained or allied damage if the roll is above 2 - instead limits his life at 1. Can die from self-gained or allied damage when in this stage.
Sprouts have popped out, and a bag of fertilizer is hidden. Somewhere.
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-Allies-
Team Anderson:
Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000
Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!)
Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000
Team Billy:
Billy Maize: 1600/2,000 (Heavy Pistol)
Polar Bear: 1,900/2,000
Team Bl1tz:
Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1))
Team Chaos bull:
Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 (Disorientation: -1 to rolls for three turns! 1/3)
Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.)
Team Combiner:
Combiner8761: 650/2,000 (dark powers)
Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.)
Team Cookie:
Cookie53: DEAD!
Team Drasar:
Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover)
Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used)
Team Egbert:
John Egbert: 2,000/2,000
Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000
Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000
Team Eva:
Eva-1337: 0/1,500 (DEAD.)
Team Face:
Mr. Face: 1,000/2,000
Horde of allies: 3000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.)
Team Falcon
xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350)
Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.)
Deadpool: 2,000/2,000
Team Foob:
Foobagooba: 2,000/2,000
Team Firearms:
Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger)
Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Hurricane buffer: Will be constructed in 1/3 turns) (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger)
Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula)
Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things))
Team Folcrum
Folcrum_flyer: 2,000/2,000
Scald: Bullet through head!
Haze: 850/2,000(Flying) (noxious gas vents) (reduces enemy defence to 80% on successful gas-based attack until enemy rolls 5 or above)
Team Hidole:
Hidole555: 2,100/2,200
Team Insanity:
InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds)
Team Ian:
Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.)
Team Jarrod:
Jarrod: 1,900/2,000 (Broken Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet)
Team Magma:
Magmacow358: 1100/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable)
Punisher Mech: 3,300/4,000 (Justice)
Crate of Supplies: 4/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.).
Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons.
Team Destroyer
Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers)
Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500
Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500
Team Nomad:
PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun)
Team Samiam:
Samiam22: 1,900/2,000
Team Smas:
Smas: 1,700/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill))
Team Sunny:
Sunny Dei: 1,500/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead))
DuffleBag: 1,550/2,000 (Bolter)
That Team:
That Ninja: 1,500/2,000
Team Trounark:
Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols)
Team Samppa:
Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls))
Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs))
Team Zake:
Zakedodead: 1,850/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons)
Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000
Team Zarjk:
Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (copy of halo 3) (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4)
[B]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
[B]
-Enemies-[/B]
Agent 5: 9,500/10,000
Mercenary Leader: 0/5,000 (DEAD.)
Mercenary Marksman: 1,700/3,000 (Semi-Auto Assault Rifle)
Mercenary Infiltrator: 700/3,000 (Sub-Machine Gun)
Gas station attendant 1,500/1,500 (M4A1)
[B]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
[B]
-Neutral-
[/B]
Tony Stark: 600/2,000 (Mark III Iron Man: 1,350/2,000)
The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000
Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair)
Agent 9: 9,850/10,000
[B]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
And that's IT! Sorry for the delay people!
Also, this is a VERY rough draft, without any proof-reading. I will correct mistakes as I go, and there are some things I'm not sure about, like Haze. Tell me if you find something wrong, I need the help.
Hey combiner, good job. Like I said a week ago, I am now free to post updates at will until the beginning of my fall semester. That should translate to at least one update a week from me until some time in August or September.
And seeing as I forgot to post commands, here are mine:
>Smas: Try one last time to convince Tony Stark to join my team.
Get grotesque back on my side (go loyalty chips!) give scald a new flash reproduced brain, and try to give haze a new organ graft.
Haze: Club one of the mercenaries with your wrist valve
I punch Agent 5 in the face, my fist completely passing though his face. My children teleport behind Merc Infiltrator and punch him in his skull
"Your ass is grass, and I've got a 12-gauge weed whacker!"
Magmacow358: I un-holster my shotgun before spinning in on my finger, placing it right between the eyes of the Mercenary Marksman and firing it with one hand like a badass, sending him flying backwards.
"
"New Reliable"
>Old 12-gauge pump-action shotgun.
+1.5x damage
+Weapon cannot be lost, even after death.
+Weapon gains 2 free crits for every enemy killed (Enemy must have more than 3,999 Maxhp and can only be used with this weapon)
-Holds 8 shots, after shells are used weapon must be reloaded which takes 1 turn
-25% more backfire damage
-No random crits, any 10s rolled using this gun will be reduced to a 9"
Punisher mech: Use your built-in gas vacuum to remove some of the cloud.
I stare at the horse for a few seconds before deciding that a roll of seven probably wasn't for nothing. I use my eldritch power in order to find that odd bag.
Horse Ebooks:
Each Person is Distinct and Special
Y u no update tNED
Mr. Face - Quickly run away and begin and converge with the horde. As a group, begin searching for medical supplies and better weaponry/ways to improve weaponry.
Horde of Allies - Do above stated.
I try and throw a drop pod at the Gas Attendent
Dufflebag: Tries to create some weaponry for the squad
Sunny, we should team up.
We're pretty much all on the same team. I've never seen two teams join together but if the GMs are good with it, sure
Huh. This thread suddenly resurrected!
I'll work on another update. I was actually afraid that this thread would die forever.
Also, if you want to Mr. Face and Sunny could team up. It would be a tad difficult to manage but I'm sure it would work out.
Moved update to a new post.
>Smas: Why u break promise!?
Yeah, I pretty much have no reason why I haven't updated yet. Thank you combiner for taking up on my slack. Hopefully the update turns out well!
Died because didn't understand how to play.
I'll try to update more often. Reason I didn't before was because of shortage of commands. Then the thread just died.
Oh well.
[B]-Ally Commands-
For all turns except when informed otherwise: No bonus to rolls from the Deus ex Machina fragments, unless informed otherwise. Night cloud and Deus ex Machina fragments will be referred as NC and DX, respectively.
[/B]
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Combiner:[/B]
Combiner: I use my eldritch power in order to find that odd bag.
[B]Roll: 4 + 2 = 6. Minor success. (NC doesn't affect this; the use of eldritch powers doesn't need vision.) After the horse finishes its crasy rant about plants you deeply consider his words. Thinking the most complex thoughts that you have been in months, you try to dechiper the horse's deep philosophical meaning. After a while of pondering you simply exclaim "fuck it" and decide to look for that bag. You borrow your dark powers deep into the earth's crust, searching through every possible square kilometer within your reach, but in the end all you find is a small fragment of the magic fertilizer, that has possibly been leaking out of the bag. You manage to transport it to a nearby sprout, that grows instantaneously when brought in contact with the stuff. Taking a bite out of the weird plant, you suddenly feel a tad bit healthier. Damn, you need more of that fertilizer. [I](+150 health to Combiner.)[/I][/B]
Horse Ebooks: Each Person is Distinct and Special.
[B]Roll: 5. Neutral. Looking over the entire party of teammates, from the man with the eldritch face, to the man with an odd mirror, and the spy with a damaged head, as well as the man with his cloned children, and the rampaging man with an axe made of fire. The horse stands inert, before saying[I] "Each Person is Distinct and Special."[/I]
That's... a very perceptive observation there, Horse.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Folcrum[/B]
Folcrum flyer: Get grotesque back on my side. (There's a limit of one action per command.)
[B]Roll: 4. Minor failure. Deciding that you need to get your dear brute back to your side, who have left you for reasons unknown, you walk confidently through the cloud, despite that you don't quite know the way to him. You begin to run frantically through the cloud, searching for him. By some odd stroke of luck, you manage to run straight into your old pal! Literally. Grotesque is angered by the collision, and decides that the best course of action is to punch you in the gut. As an effect by this force applied to your lower torso, the nerve cells transmit a signal to your brain that is recognized as the odd phenomenon of "pain." (100 damage to Folcrum flyer.)[/B]
Haze: Club one of the mercenaries with your wrist valve.
[B]Roll: 8. Success. After suddenly re-allying yourself with Folcrum you get ready to beat some people senseless, with your amazing toxic nature. You fly through the cloud of darkness, and eventually reach somebody with an assault rifle. As he turns his head towards you your valve is already upon his head. He falls to the ground, groaning, but you bash him again, and again, and again. Some gas leaks out of your valve, and it manages to poison the poor man. You withdraw when you start feeling bad for the guy.[I] (800 damage to the Mercenary Marksman. Gas poisoning! 100 damage each turn unless treated.)[/I]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Magmacow[/B]
Magmacow358: I un-holster my shotgun before spinning in on my finger, placing it right between the eyes of the Mercenary Marksman and firing it with one hand like a badass, sending him flying backwards.
[B]Roll: 1 + 2. Failure. (Still have nightvision from previous command.) As you unholster your new incarnation of your beloved shotgun, you pull a cocky smile as you spin the shotgun on your finger, accidently putting pressure on the trigger. The new "reliable" discharges a lovely round of buckshot straight into your leg. As you fall to the ground you confirm to yourself that this hasn't been your best day. [I](625 damage to self.)[/I][/B]
Punisher Mech: Use your built-in gas vacuum to remove some of the cloud.
[B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL HIT! The Punisher Mech slowly rises up from the ground and reasserts balence, but his sensors are too clouded for him to aquire targets. He solves this by activating his gas vacuum, built into the Mech's exterior. Suddenly, something in his systems don't quite go like it should be. Almost his entire power souce is rerouted to the vacuum, and it overcharges, letting out a gigantic roar, creating something that could be compared to a black hole.
Conveniently, the vacuum is only built for gas, so instead of just sucking up everything, only a small amount of air and the entire night cloud is sucked into the vacuum. Besides, robots don't care about oxygen anyway. As the mech's power is routed back to its proper tasks the Punisher notices that he still got the night cloud stored into his vacuum. That could be of use to subdue CRIMINAL SCUM. [I](NC is gone from the battlefield! Doesn't affect commands after this one. NC is store in the vacuum, and the Punisher Mech can use it to blind enemy target(s). The duration and power of this effect depends on the roll.)[/I]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Destroyer:[/B]
Mr. Destroyer: I punch Agent 5 in the face, my fist completely passing though his face.
[B]Roll: 3 + 2 = 5. Neutral. (DX without NC.) With the battlefield visible after the Night cloud being sucked into that vacuum, you see the bastard of an agent running away from the giant Mech. Steeling yourself, you throw a great punch, your fist completely passing through his face! Without any sort of difficulty. Or even the feeling of impact. Hmm.
Yep, that agent was actually just a mirage. Probably a side effect from the air being torn so violently because of the vacuum.
[/B]
Terry Fitzgerald and Turd Fergison: Teleport behind Agent 5 (before Merc. Infiltrator.) and punch him in his skull!
[B]Roll: 5 + 3 & 9 + 3 = 8 & 10! Success and CRITICAL HIT! (Terry and Turd respectively, also +1 bonus from Teleporters and DX without NC.)
While Mr. Destroyer may have problem in locating the agent, his children have no such thing. Terry immediately teleports to his location, taking him by surprise. Terry punches him in the head, making the agent yelp in pain, but the Agent whips out his revolver and frantically fire off a few shots towards Fitzgerald. Distracted by Terry, the agent doesn't notice Turd teleporting in. As Terry retreats Turd throws his punch, but the teleportation effect glitches slightly, allowing him to bypass the agent's skin and cranium, literally punching him in the skull. The agent falls to the ground and sputters a few incomprehensible words. With the agent dead, Terry and Turd puts on their smiles and celebrate the fall of their foe. [I](Agent 5 is DEAD.)[/I]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Mr. Face[/B]
Mr. Face: Quickly run away and begin and converge with the horde. As a group, begin searching for medical supplies and better weaponry/ways to improve weaponry.
[B]Roll: 6 + 2 & 2 + 2 = 8 & 4. Success and minor failure. (DX without NC.) Running away from the maniacal gas attendent you reach your allies! You are glad to find out that they have found weaponry, shitty as it may be. Ignoring the threat of the gas attendant, you and your allies go and search for ways to improve these rusty rifles. You and your allies come across some kind of camp, in which you find several different crates, all marked with the same label: Crazy station's gas and supplies! Well, that explains quite a lot. As you hear a very familiar roar over the horizon, complaining about scavengers, you and your army decide to break open the crates as fast as possible. In your hurry you accidentally level all crates to rubble, with only a can of rust-removing spray remaining. [I](Found a can of rust-removing spray! Can be used to upgrade the weapon in one aspect; from -50% damage to -25% damage or from -1 roll to +1 roll.)
[/I]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smas:[/B] Try one last time to convince Tony Stark to join my team.
[B]Roll: 7 + 2 = 9. Major success! You reapproach Tony Stark once again, and he pulls a deep sigh and asks you if you're going to spout any more memes. You reassure him that you won't, but that he should come back to you anyway. Tony just lies back and tells you that you know the drill. Indeed you do. You take a deep breath and then go on a long speech, going on about trust, the importance of Tony's roll, loyalty and friendship. After you have pulled the most convincing speech that you felt you've been doing in your entire life Tony still seems unfazed. After standing there for a few seconds you sigh and say "money and booze." "Alright, I'm in." [I](Tony Stark readded to Smas' team!)[/I]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Sunny Dei[/B]
Sunny Dei: I try and throw a drop pod at the Gas Attendent.
[B]Roll: 3 + 2 = 5. Neutral. (DX without NC.) Not finished with your rampage, you decide that the new victim of your slaughter would be the insane gas attendant. You can't think of a better way to crush that foe but to throw a drop pod at him!
Then you realize that drop pods are actually interstellar ships, and you can't really throw them.
So you will call one down to massacre the attendant!
Then you realize that you don't have a radio.
Fuck it.[/B]
Dufflebag: Try to create some weaponry for the squad!
[B]Roll: 6 + 2 = 8. Success! (DX without NC.) Shaking off the echoes of those voices, you decide that this squad is rather lacking in weaponry. Calling upon the force of Chaos you begin to create weapons with the materials around you. You end up with an awesome assortment of chainaxes! [I](Added Chainaxes to both Sunny Dei and Dufflebag! Stats are as follows:)[/I][/B]
[quote]
[U][B]Chainaxe[/B][/U]
[I]An incredibly powerful high-risk, high reward chain weapon, carried by Chaos Space Marines.[/I]
[B]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
[B]Heavyweight:[/B] +50 damage bonus, but if the roll fails you take +25% self-inflicted damage and the next roll by the user will carry a -1 penalty.
[B]Motorised biting teeth:[/B] Deals additional +100% damage to metal, armor or external shielding. (Such as the Iron man suit.)
[B]Powered by gas:[/B] Runs out of fuel after being used 3 times; needs a successful roll in order to refuel it.
[/quote]
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Enemy Commands-
[/B]
Mercenary Marksman: You're done with being a pussy! Strike back at the rampaging brute!
[B]Roll: 9 - 1 = 8. (Scared shitless of Sunny Dei.) But- but that is a rampaging brute! Besides, you're poisoned! Shouldn't it be more important to treat that first? Beside, from the very beginning I've been clobbered, beaten, and worthless! How could it be any different now? But... I can try... Alright, steady the gun, carry the... demon's head into the ironsight... and FIRE.
I HIT!
AGAIN! FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!
FEEL IT, YOU DAMN DEMON, I AM BACK, YOU GOT SHIT ON ME, DIE YOU FUCKING MONSTER!
Hehe, he's on the ground now. Soon I'll be able to finish him off. [I](800 damage to Sunny Dei! Lost fear of Sunny Dei.)[/I][/B]
Mercenary Infiltrator: Kill that poisonous Gas man. He may have clobbered Marksman, but everybody knows how weak he is.
[B]Roll: 4 - 1 = 3. (Scared shitless of Sunny Dei.) After healing himself from that vampire wound, you see that odd gas man clobber Marksman upon his head. Going by the hideous bulges swelling up on Marksman's skin, he appears to be poisonous as well. When that man retreats from Marksman you sneak up slowly and carefully and... fire all your bullets!
Which turns out to be none, because you've forgotten to reload the damn gun.
It goes off with a loud click. It's kind of obvious that the gas man heard it because he slowly turns around... and BAM! Clobbers you upon the head. He seems to be quite adept at doing that. [I](500 damage to the Merc. Infiltrator.)[/I][/B]
[B]Far away in a different realm of existence...
"And so have 5 also succumbed to our foes. These beings of cell and tissue have proven to be a concern."
"What the hell! How did those abominable clones manage to finish HIM off?"
"Hold on a minute, why are you calling them abominable? Hell, compared to what [I]we've[/I] done..."
"No matter! Shit, I WARNED him, you know! These people are too strong!"
"Their strength is not the danger. Their nature of chaos is what makes them our concern. I am referring to the horse and the marine in particular. Yes."
"Dunno 'bout the horse. It IS a spambot after all, as such, it got code. Should be simple, really."
"Your ignorance is unexpected. I have thought that we all have come to the same conclusion; Nothing in this construct is simple."
"And Agent 9? That bastard turned tail on us! We better finish him off! If not as punishment then at least to prevent him to further screwing up our plans."
"He is of us. That fact will not escape his conscience. And unlike our enemies he is predictable, I know how to control him. His betrayal will not complicate our machination."
"Ehh, I dunno what to to about the situation there. What should we send? I do know that we must put them off from discovering us, but how?"
"The best course of action would be to avoid spending resources on direct offense. We must create additional subterfuge, but not in the lines of comba-"
"Sir? I believe that 3 just left for the battlefield."
"I am aware."
"Won't that 'complicate our machination'?"
"No. I anticipated that he would leave, provoked by my suggestions. 9 is not the only one who is predictable."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Current effects and other events-[/B]
The Deus ex Machina fragments have run out of power.
Disorientation - Chaos bull got -1 to all rolls for three turns. (2/3)
Dawson's protection service - All attacks against dagger is redirected at Dawson and deals 35% less damage. Dagger can't die by self-gained or allied damage if the roll is above 2 - instead limits his life at 1. Can die from self-gained or allied damage when in this stage.
Terry and Turd's teleporters are recharging. (0/2)
A bag of fertilizer is still hidden. Somewhere.
Hurricane buffer will be constructed in 2/3 turns.
Agent 3 is currently phasing into reality! Takes three turns for him to properly manifest.
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Allies-
[/B]
Team Anderson:
Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000
Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!)
Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000
Team Billy:
Billy Maize: 1600/2,000 (Heavy Pistol)
Polar Bear: 1,900/2,000
Team Bl1tz:
Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1))
Team Chaos bull:
Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 (Disorientation: -1 to rolls for three turns! 2/3)
Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.)
Team Combiner:
Combiner8761: 800/2,000 (dark powers)
Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.)
Team Cookie:
Cookie53: DEAD!
Team Drasar:
Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover)
Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used)
Team Egbert:
John Egbert: 2,000/2,000
Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000
Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000
Team Eva:
Eva-1337: 0/1,500 (DEAD.)
Team Face:
Mr. Face: 1,000/2,000 (Can of anti-rust spray.)
Horde of allies: 3000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.)
Team Falcon
xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350)
Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.)
Deadpool: 2,000/2,000
Team Foob:
Foobagooba: 2,000/2,000
Team Firearms:
Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger) (Protected by Dawson.)
Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Hurricane buffer: Will be constructed in 2/3 turns) (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger)
Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula)
Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things))
Team Folcrum
Folcrum_flyer: 1,900/2,000
Scald: Bullet through head!
Haze: 850/2,000(Flying) (noxious gas vents) (reduces enemy defence to 80% on successful gas-based attack until enemy rolls 5 or above)
Team Hidole:
Hidole555: 2,100/2,200
Team Insanity:
InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds)
Team Ian:
Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.)
Team Jarrod:
Jarrod: 1,900/2,000 (Broken Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet)
Team Magma:
Magmacow358: 475/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable)
Punisher Mech: 3,300/4,000 (Justice) (Vacuum with night cloud)
Crate of Supplies: 4/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.).
Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons.
Team Destroyer
Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers)
Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. 0/2)
Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. 0/2)
Team Nomad:
PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun)
Team Samiam:
Samiam22: 1,900/2,000
Team Smas:
Smas: 1,700/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill))
Tony Stark: 600/2,000 (Mark III Iron Man: 1,350/2,000)
Team Sunny:
Sunny Dei: 700/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead)) (Chainaxe)
DuffleBag: 1,550/2,000 (Bolter) (Chainaxe)
That Team:
That Ninja: 1,500/2,000
Team Trounark:
Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols)
Team Samppa:
Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls))
Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs))
Team Zake:
Zakedodead: 1,850/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons)
Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000
Team Zarjk:
Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (copy of halo 3) (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4)
[B]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Enemies-
[/B]
Agent 5: [I][B]DEAD.[/B][/I]
Agent 3: 10,000/10,000 (Phasing into reality! 0/3)
Mercenary Marksman: 100/3,000 (Semi-Auto Assault Rifle) (Poisoned! 100 damage per turn until cured.)
Mercenary Infiltrator: 700/3,000 (Sub-Machine Gun)
Gas station attendant 1,500/1,500 (M4A1)
[B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Neutral-[/B]
The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000
Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair)
Agent 9: 9,850/10,000
[B]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B]
Once again, inform me of any faults or anything that you don't like.
Now then, I REALLY need to sleep...
>Smas: Take a swipe at the Mercenary Inflitrator using my sword.
>Tony Stark: Fire your unibeam at the Mercenary Marksman.
That was quick!
So yeah, hope that update works as well as the other two. As I said, I need to sleep now. See you tomorrow folks.
Have a good one!
Billy Maize: Shoot Mercenary Infiltrator in the big toe with the heavy pistol.
Polar Bear: Disarm Mercenary Marksman and give the gun to Billy Maize.
"I just fucking [B]SHOT[/B] myself."
I use one of my med-kits (does not use turn) and then decide to apply normal medical attention to my serious injuries.
Punisher mech: Fire a rocket fist of justice at the Gas station attendant.
[editline]17th May 2012[/editline]
BTW, finally finished moving so I should be able to resume posting updates!
I use my abundant med-packs to heal myself
Dufflebag: Charges at the Gas Attendant, determined to test the deadliness of the Chain-axe
> Mr. Face + Horde: As a collective group, fire all M4A1s at the gas attendant.
Grotesque: Pitch folc back to the fourth battlefield so he can go back to being a noncombattant
Haze: Release enough toxic gas to severely fuckup anything without a respirator/ Epic lungs/ that isn't at the battlefield.
folc: Airdrop a supply of gasmasks to teammates via giant flying protean bat/pterodactyl monster.
P.S, get psyched for Juggernougat
Good morning people, here I am again.
Just a few notes; I misread Mr. Destroyer's commands for Terry and Turd. They were supposed to target the Merc. Infiltrator, and not agent 5. The thing is that 5's death is kind of important so I don't think I will change it.
I also forgot to integrate Mr. Face and Sunny Dei teaming up. I'm not against that, so I'll try to come up with something to the next update. By the way, the can of antirust spray is instantaneous, and does not use up a turn.
Other than that, this update seems fine.
I enter the battle field from a never ending RainbowDash vortex, Armed with a horse hoof hand cannon and the friendship helmet of love, and I use the power of friendship to make Mercenary Infiltrator explode, as he is made of pure malice. Also, because I fired a .950 caliber bullet from the horse hoof cannon. I shall make him fear rainbows for the rest of his short life.
I refuse to let this die.
I agree with that statement.
However, I don't know if I can pull anything in the upcoming week, I have too much stuff to do. Perhaps someone else could rise to the challenge?
Also, commands;
Combiner: Seeing that Agent 3 is phasing into existence, I use my eldritch powers to redirect his channeling, making him phase somewhere completely different, like in solid matter or thousands of miles away. Hell, if I'm lucky I may land him into a different dimension.
Horse Ebooks: we re both busy and time is important so here is a breakdown
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