• The Never Ending Dungeon V.5 - You slip on a banana peel and land face first on a landmine
    677 replies, posted
--Jarrod Ugh, who the hell-what Looks to see a rusted bike with the tire caved in... [IMG]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/17823794/Person Info.gif[/IMG]
Posting results [editline]23rd May 2012[/editline] [B]-Ally Commands-[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smas' team: Smas: Take a swipe at the Mercenary Inflitrator using my sword. [B]Roll: 4. Minor failure. You unshealth your mighty sword and steady it, preparing to pick the Infiltrator's nose with it, but while blindly running towards him you trip over an inconveniently placed rock and accidentally castrate yourself with your own sword. Way to go. (100 damage to you, Dick pains debuff added: You take 5% more damage for the next 3 turns because you wont stop bitching about stuff)[/B] Tony Stark: Fire your unibeam at the Mercenary Marksman. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL! After witnessing the cringe-tastic display Smas just made with his sword, Tony has a feeling this round is off to a bad start. His negativity quickly dissipates after he fires his unibeam at the Marksman and misses, sending the beam into a nearby mirror causing it to go through the Marksman's legs before then punching straight through the Infiltrator's face and then bouncing of ANOTHER mirror and going right back to the marksman, finally lighting his pubic hair on fire and causing him to burn to death. "Uhh, I meant to do that." (Killed Marksman and Infiltrator)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Billy's team: Billy Maize: Shoot Mercenary Infiltrator in the big toe with the heavy pistol. [B]Roll: 0. You walk up to the Infiltrator and shoot his charred carcass in the toe, causing it to explode into a fine red mist.[/B] Polar Bear: Disarm Mercenary Marksman and give the gun to Billy Maize. [B]Roll: 0. The Polar bear walks up to the marksman's dead body and retrieves his gun before handing it over to Billy. (Added Semi-auto assault rifle)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Magma's team: I use one of my med-kits (does not use turn) and then decide to apply normal medical attention to my serious injuries. [B]Roll: 8. Success. You inject a stimpack right quick before then attending to your now not as severe injuries. After spending the entire turn applying careful medical knowledge, you manage to heal yourself back to 2,000 hp. (Full heal)[/B] Punisher mech: Fire a rocket fist of justice at the Gas station attendant. [B]Roll: 6. Minor Success. The Punisher takes aim with his rocket fist and fires it, but forgets that rockets and rocket fists in particular are only designed for large targets, as they tend to wobble a bit. He misses, but the explosion atleast gets shrapnel in the attendant's eye. (100 damage Gas station attendant.)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunny's team: I use my abundant med-packs to heal myself [B]Roll: 3. Failure! You go to a nearby hollow tree and reach inside, pulling out a medkit you stashed in there earlier. You sit down on a rock and begin applying it to your wounds. But somehow along the way you fucked up massively and once you think you are done you find a massive gaping wound in your head and a large pool of blood nearby. Before you can close it up, you pass out from blood loss. You are still bleeding profusely and if you don't get help soon, your going to die a clumsy and messy death. (-500 hp to you, will bleed out in 3 turns, cannot move.)[/B] Dufflebag: Charges at the Gas Attendant, determined to test the deadliness of the Chain-axe [B]Roll: 9. Success! Dufflebag the confusingly named space marine pulls out his Chain-axe and lets out a manly war-cry before running up to the attendant and shoving the axe literally up his ass, tearing up several of his internal organs and mixing shit in with the wounds, infecting them. (1,000 damage Attendant, infected wounds: 100 damage every turn for 3 turns.)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Face's team: Mr. Face + Horde: As a collective group, fire all M4A1s at the gas attendant. [B]Roll: 2. Failure! You and your horde stroll up the the wounded attendant, thinking it will boil down to an execution after his ass-ripping earlier, but your confidence is your downfall as it turns out somehow, every single gun you and your horde had jammed all at once when you where preparing to fire. The attendant takes advantage of this and retaliates, using his own M4 to fuck your shit. This video depicts what happens pretty well: [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olGDvW3ObG4[video] (Exluding the whole shotgun part) (1000 damage to you and the horde)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Folc's team: Grotesque: Pitch folc back to the fourth battlefield so he can go back to being a noncombattant [B]Roll: 6. Minor success. The Grotesque [I]sort of[/I] achieves his goal of making folc a noncombattant, but the council of GM's is still reviewing folc's case, but he should be back to a bystander shortly. (Will be a non-combattant in 3 turns)[/B] Haze: Release enough toxic gas to severely fuck up anything without a respirator/ Epic lungs/ that isn't at the battlefield. [B]Roll: 3. Failure! Haze starts emmiting toxic gas, but some stray bullets from the attendant's rampage hit its gas emitter and cause it to explode, instead releasing all of the gas into Haze's body. (500 damage to Haze)[/B] folc: Airdrop a supply of gasmasks to teammates via giant flying protean bat/pterodactyl monster. [B]Roll: 5. Neutral. You see little point in dropping gas-masks since there aint no gas.[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nyan squirrel: I enter the battle field from a never ending RainbowDash vortex, Armed with a horse hoof hand cannon and the friendship helmet of love, and I use the power of friendship to make Mercenary Infiltrator explode, as he is made of pure malice. Also, because I fired a .950 caliber bullet from the horse hoof cannon. I shall make him fear rainbows for the rest of his short life. [B]Roll: 1. CRITICAL FAILURE! You come out of the pony void with a pink cannon and a pink little helmet made of flowers, but you seem to have not known that facepunch hates it when anybody talks about MLP in any shape way or form. Upon your arrival, literally EVERYONE turns to you and shoots the living shit out of you, shredding you in a matter of seconds. "Don't you dare bring that shit up AGAIN." (You are dead and I advise you don't force the MLP stuff because everyone (myself included) hates it when that happens.)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Combiner's team: Combiner: Seeing that Agent 3 is phasing into existence, I use my eldritch powers to redirect his channeling, making him phase somewhere completely different, like in solid matter or thousands of miles away. Hell, if I'm lucky I may land him into a different dimension. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL! Your horribly twisted face scowls as you see agent 3 slowly appear, but then an idea pops into your head. You channel your power and distort the portal, noticably twisting and mangling the agent's body and delaying the portal. When agent three is done phasing, he will come out of it with 1/3 of his normal health! (Also delayed phasing by one turn)[/B] Horse Ebooks: we re both busy and time is important so here is a breakdown [B]Roll: 0. I don't understand this command![/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jarrod: Looks to see a rusted bike with the tire caved in... [B]Roll: 3. Failure! You wake up in an un-farmilliar area, not sure how you got there. To your left is war, death destruction and people getting their testicles melted by lasers, and to your right is an old bicycle with a flat tire. >[U]Get ye flask[/U] You can't get ye flask >[U]Fix bike[/U] You trip on a flagstone and smash your face on the ground! >[U]Fix ye face[/U] You cant fix ye face! (500 damage to you)[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Random events: [B]While fighting, the FP crew hears a strange groaning sound in the distance. Probably nothing...[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [B]-Enemy Commands-[/B] Gas station attendant: Shove a first aid kit up your ass [B]Roll: 5. Neutral. The attendant is too scared it will cause more damage to do so.[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Allies- Team Anderson: Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000 Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!) Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000 Team Billy: Billy Maize: 1600/2,000 (Heavy Pistol) (Semi-auto Assault Rifle) Polar Bear: 1,900/2,000 Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1)) Team Chaos bull: Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 (Disorientation: -1 to rolls for three turns! 2/3) Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 800/2,000 (dark powers) Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.) Team Cookie: Cookie53: DEAD! Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover) Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used) Team Egbert: John Egbert: 2,000/2,000 Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000 Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000 Team Eva: Eva-1337: 0/1,500 (DEAD.) Team Face: Mr. Face: 1/2,000 (Can of anti-rust spray.) Horde of allies: 2000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.) Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350) Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.) Deadpool: 2,000/2,000 Team Foob: Foobagooba: 2,000/2,000 Team Firearms: Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger) (Protected by Dawson.) Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Hurricane buffer: Will be constructed in 2/3 turns) (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger) Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula) Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things)) Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 1,900/2,000 (Will become non-combatant in 0/3 turns) Scald: Bullet through head! Haze: 350/2,000(Flying) (noxious gas vents) (reduces enemy defence to 80% on successful gas-based attack until enemy rolls 5 or above) Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Insanity: InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds) Team Ian: Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.) Team Jarrod: Jarrod: 1,400/2,000 (Broken Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 2,000/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable) Punisher Mech: 3,300/4,000 (Justice) (Vacuum with night cloud) Crate of Supplies: 3/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.). Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons. Nyan Squirrel: DEAD! Team Destroyer Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers) Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. 0/2) Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. 0/2) Team Nomad: PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun) Team Samiam: Samiam22: 1,900/2,000 Team Smas: Smas: 1,600/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill)) (Dick pains: 5% damage increase for 0/3 turns) Tony Stark: 600/2,000 (Mark III Iron Man: 1,350/2,000) Team Sunny: Sunny Dei: 200/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead)) (Chainaxe) (Bleeds out in 0/3 turns@) DuffleBag: 1,550/2,000 (Bolter) (Chainaxe) That Team: That Ninja: 1,500/2,000 Team Trounark: Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols) Team Samppa: Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls)) Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs)) Team Zake: Zakedodead: 1,850/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons) Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000 Team Zarjk: Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (copy of halo 3) (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Enemies- Agent 5: DEAD. Agent 3: 3333/3333 (Phasing into reality! 1/4) Gas station attendant 400/1,500 (M4A1) (Infected wounds: 100 damage for 0/3 turns) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Neutral- The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000 Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair) Agent 9: 9,850/10,000 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Id like to remind everyone that if any stats are involved in your command you have to post them. IE if you have a buff/debuff or use a weapon with stats you gotta post said stats.
Renounce my mlp ways and inject my self with a stimpack and cap Agent 3 with 333333 bullets from my randomly obtained minigun. When I'm yelling my name is Nyan!!!
Shoot the gas station attendant right in the gun with my Semi-Automatic rifle. Polar Bear: Hand out delicious Coca-Colas in an effort to heal everyone. Edit: Lucky post #777
I focus all my attention on staying alive, praying the gods of Chaos will show mercy Dufflebag: Seeing his beloved leader dying slowly, he rushed to try and save my life
Mr. Face: I spray the anti-rust can on my own M4 and finish off the gas attendant. Horde: Form a human wall to protect Mr. Face.
Heyoo, Um, listen, Nyan Squirrel is a friend of mine, and the MLP thing was a bad joke. Seriously, he's good for non-MLP stuff too. He's not a brony. Folc: Whelp, you still have your radio, so call in the fleshbat troop and resource transport to drop off juggernougat. [Release] Back at the fourth base, rattling the bars of his cage like a madman, the 6 foot tall monstrosity was being observed by a protean behemoth. The head less body stared at the jailor with its collarbone set eyes. The lateral mouth, going from the top of its spine down to the base of its pelvis, writhed a little as the human torso inside of it, headless, the mouth on it being set on the stump of its neck, wringed its hands. As the jailor approached and unlocked the cage per radio command, Juggernougat grabbed onto it with each of its four four-foot long, tree-trunk thick arms, tearing off the jailor's own arms with two, and holding it steady with the other two as the inner torso grabbed onto it, pulling it into the outer mouth, which closed in on the jailor, killing it instantly, while the inner torso began to chew on body bits. It was detained by another three protean jailors, as its stubby legs disallowed it the distinct ability to run. It was then shoved into a box, strung to a fleshbat (basically a giant, sentient flying wing,) which then flew off to drop the berserk giant. In the meantime, a mind control chip began to beep in the back of its head [/Release] Haze: Stimpack, away!
[QUOTE=folcrum_flyer;36073440]Heyoo, Um, listen, Nyan Squirrel is a friend of mine, and the MLP thing was a bad joke. Seriously, he's good for non-MLP stuff too. He's not a brony. Folc: Whelp, you still have your radio, so call in the fleshbat troop and resource transport to drop off juggernougat. [release] Back at the fourth base, rattling the bars of his cage like a madman, the 6 foot tall monstrosity was being observed by a protean behemoth. The head less body stared at the jailor with its collarbone set eyes. The lateral mouth, going from the top of its spine down to the base of its pelvis, writhed a little as the human torso inside of it, headless, the mouth on it being set on the stump of its neck, wringed its hands. As the jailor approached and unlocked the cage per radio command, Juggernougat grabbed onto it with each of its four four-foot long, tree-trunk thick arms, tearing off the jailor's own arms with two, and holding it steady with the other two as the inner torso grabbed onto it, pulling it into the outer mouth, which closed in on the jailor, killing it instantly, while the inner torso began to chew on body bits. It was detained by another three protean jailors, as its stubby legs disallowed it the distinct ability to run. It was then shoved into a box, strung to a fleshbat (basically a giant, sentient flying wing,) which then flew off to drop the berserk giant. In the meantime, a mind control chip began to beep in the back of its head [/release] Haze: Stimpack, away! Grotesque: Eat the Gas station attendant, then return to your loyalties on folc's team.[/QUOTE] You cant just tell a neutral ally to come back to you, you actually have to convince them to rejoin you
Honestly, Magmacow, that was harsh. At least try to be tolerant, we don't have to actively hate ponies everywhere on this forum. Also, the entire point of Horse Ebooks is that it's nigh unintelligible. Just make a normal roll, and have the outcome based on the contents of the tweet. By the way, commands; Combiner: After being done screwing up Agent 3's channelling, I use my powers to find that bag of fertilizer hoping to use it on those healing plants Horse Ebooks: New Wisdom. (The command isn't posted right away, instead I wait until a new tweet is posted on the actual twitter account, and then add it to this post. This command doesn't play out as a normal command, instead, the roll depends on the quality of the tweet.) Tweet confirmed, it's "A Fool-Proof". Not very good, I would say.
[QUOTE=Combiner8761;36074883]Honestly, Magmacow, that was harsh. At least try to be tolerant, we don't have to actively hate ponies everywhere on this forum. Also, the entire point of Horse Ebooks is that it's nigh unintelligible. Just make a normal roll, and have the outcome based on the contents of the tweet. By the way, commands; Combiner: After being done screwing up Agent 3's channelling, I use my powers to find that bag of fertilizer hoping to use it on those healing plants Horse Ebooks: New Wisdom. (The command isn't posted right away, instead I wait until a new tweet is posted on the actual twitter account, and then add it to this post. This command doesn't play out as a normal command, instead, the roll depends on the quality of the tweet.)[/QUOTE] Ever see someone post something MLP related in a facepunch thread before? Guaranteed shitstorm of epic proportions 99.9% of the time.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;36075056]Ever see someone post something MLP related in a facepunch thread before? Guaranteed shitstorm of epic proportions 99.9% of the time.[/QUOTE] Exactly. And with your update you may have only contributed to creating one. You may humor him or not, but in that case simply tell him "I can't bring ponies into this, because facepunch as a whole hates it." As your update stands right now, you did exactly that, but in an unnecessarily harsh way that may only cause more trouble than it solves. Unless he actually rolled a one, there is no grounds to kill him over it. As you said; avoid shitstorms.
Why u no update
[img]http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/351/9/e/tned__y_u_keep_dying_by_seekoutguy-d4jff3t.jpg[/img]
Yeah, I know, I know. Here's the thing; I'm currently face down in schoolwork, because it's summer soon and I have to catch up with the work I wasn't able to get done, in addition to new ones. So I can't work on any update before the end of school, which is at the end of next week. So once again, we need another vigilant updater to rise up for the challenge, like Magmacow or Smas, if they don't have the same problem as I.
[url]http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/351/9/e/tned__y_u_keep_dying_by_seekoutguy-d4jff3t.jpg[/url] WoW
Wow, 8:38, done in half an hour. The GMs need to manage time better. At least, the ones who aren't in college/ school. -Ally Commands- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nyan Squirrel Team: Nyan Squirrel: Renounce my mlp ways and inject my self with a stimpack and cap Agent 3 with 333333 bullets from my randomly obtained minigun. When I'm yelling my name is Nyan!!! [B] Roll: 1. EPIC FAIL. In a hilarious mention for medical malpractice history, an inexplicably thrown rock cracks you in the skull as you're preparing the stimpack, causing you to unnintentionally jam the needle in youre eye and lobotomize yourself. Good thing you're basically already dead. Also, the lobotomy made you forget basic math. [/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bill Corn Team: Billy Maize: Shoot the gas station attendant right in the gun with my Semi-Automatic rifle. Edit: Lucky post #777 As a result of being lucky post 777, this turn a roll is automatically neutral if they would fail, and you get +1 on a non-failure roll for your avatar character. [B]Roll: 5+1. Small Success. You aim at the gas station attemndent, and just as you squeeze of the shot to kill him, a rock cracks you in the head, causing you to shoot him in the foot. Upon closer examination, It's the same rock that caused Nyan Squirrel to stab himself in the eye with a stimpack. (Gas Station Attendant -200 HP)[/B] Polar Bear: Hand out delicious Coca-Colas in an effort to heal everyone. [B]Roll: 4+1. Neutral. You would hand out Cokes, but when you find a crate full of them, you just can't help but chug them all.[/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunny Team: Sunny Dei: I focus all my attention on staying alive, praying the gods of Chaos will show mercy [B] Roll: 4. Oh so close, but fail. The gods of chaos look unfavorably upon you. Nyan Squirrel, while in his death throws, which is more like a death-rapid-sprint, tramples you as he flails to remove the stimpack from his eye and brain, currently unable to coordinate his hands to do so. (Sunny Dei: DEAD!)[/B] Dufflebag: Seeing his beloved leader dying slowly, he rushed to try and save my life [B] Roll: 9. Excellent Success. You Seal Sunny's open wounds, using the flaming battle-Axe to cauterize them shut, inject enough stimpacks to raise the dead into him, put his limbs (which are all broken) into heavy duty support frames. You're leader is saved, and fully healed, but immobile for two turns, while the bones recover. [/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mr. Face Team: Mr. Face: I spray the anti-rust can on my own M4 and finish off the gas attendant. [B] Roll: 7. Good enough success. Finishing what Billy Maize attempted to start, you spray anti rust spray into your rifle, charge to bolt a few times, run a cloth through it to remove the flakes, and them take aim and shoot the Gas Station attendant once in the face. His head is reduced to a fine mist. (Gas Station Attendant: DEAD!) [/B] Horde: Form a human wall to protect Mr. Face. [B] Roll: 6.Meh, still good Success. As this roll was merely to see if the guys didn't accidentally turn into some duplicate of the Boston Massacre, now the horde will take any damage that would be directed towards you. (Mr. Face: Protected) [/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Folc Team: Folc: Whelp, you still have your radio, so call in the fleshbat troop and resource transport to drop off juggernougat. [B] Roll: 9. Good, I get to keep my arms Success. Juggernougat Crashes unto the field, armed with the planks of his cargo crate as weapons (Juggernougat added to team.) [/B] Haze: Stimpack, away! [B] Roll: 7. Healthy Success. You successfully inject yourself with the stimpack, recovering a small amount of health (Haze: +500 Health) [/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Combiner Team: Combiner: After being done screwing up Agent 3's channelling, I use my powers to find that bag of fertilizer hoping to use it on those healing plants [B] Roll: 1. Painfailure. As you search for the bag of fertilizer, a cliff materializes on the field. On top of it is a Large, Precariously ballanced boulder. The sentient, levitateing rocks that re-murdered Nyan Squirrel, and mucked up Maize's commend crashes at slightly faster than mach one into the oulder, sending two tons of rock crushing through your decidedly fragile body. (Combiner: Thin red paste. Also, DEAD!) [/B] Horse Ebooks: New Wisdom. Tweet confirmed, it's "A Fool-Proof". Not very good, I would say. [B] Roll: 10. A GRAND SUCCESS! A Fool-Proof refers to a Fool-Proof Healing method. A heal related rolls are +1. Forever. [/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Random events: None ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Enemy Commands- Evil Sentient Floating Rock: Fly into Magmacow's head at roughly 98% of the speed of light. [B] Roll: 10. EVIL SENTIENT SUCCESS. Magma cows head is rendered out of existence as the rock collides with his skull. (Magmacow: DEAD!) (Nothing personal, just needed a target.) [/B] ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Allies- Team Anderson: Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000 Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!) Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000 Team Billy: Billy Maize: 1600/2,000 (Heavy Pistol) (Semi-auto Assault Rifle) Polar Bear: 1,900/2,000 Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1)) Team Chaos bull: Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 800/2,000 (dark powers) Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.) Team Cookie: Cookie53: DEAD! Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover) Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used) Team Egbert: John Egbert: 2,000/2,000 Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000 Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000 Team Eva: Eva-1337: 0/1,500 (DEAD.) Team Face: Mr. Face: 1/2,000 (Can of anti-rust spray.) (Protected) Horde of allies: 2000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.) Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350) Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.) Deadpool: 2,000/2,000 Team Foob: Foobagooba: 2,000/2,000 Team Firearms: Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger) (Protected by Dawson.) Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Hurricane buffer: Will be constructed in 2/3 turns) (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger) Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula) Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things)) Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 1,900/2,000 (Will become non-combatant in 1/3 turns) Scald: Bullet through head! Haze: 850/2,000(Flying) (noxious gas vents) (reduces enemy defence to 80% on successful gas-based attack until enemy rolls 5 or above) Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Insanity: InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds) Team Ian: Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.) Team Jarrod: Jarrod: 1,400/2,000 (Broken Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 2,000/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable) Punisher Mech: 3,300/4,000 (Justice) (Vacuum with night cloud) Crate of Supplies: 3/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.). Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons. Nyan Squirrel: DEAD! Team Destroyer Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers) Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. 0/2) Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. 0/2) Team Nomad: PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun) Team Samiam: Samiam22: 1,900/2,000 Team Smas: Smas: 1,600/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill)) (Dick pains: 5% damage increase for 0/3 turns) Tony Stark: 600/2,000 (Mark III Iron Man: 1,350/2,000) Team Sunny: Sunny Dei: 2,000/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead)) (Chainaxe) (Immobile, 0/2 Turns) DuffleBag: 1,550/2,000 (Bolter) (Chainaxe) That Team: That Ninja: 1,500/2,000 Team Trounark: Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols) Team Samppa: Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls)) Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs)) Team Zake: Zakedodead: 1,850/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons) Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000 Team Zarjk: Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (copy of halo 3) (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Enemies- Agent 5: DEAD. Agent 3: 3333/3333 (Phasing into reality! 2/4) Gas station attendant: DEAD! Evil Sentient Floating Rock: 10000/10000 (It's a rock. It Doesn't break easily.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Neutral- The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000 Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair) Agent 9: 9,850/10,000 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I'd Just like to say this could all be avoided if we kill everyone who doesn't post for more than three results posts.
I sit immobile Dufflebag: Find a weakness in the Evil Floating Rock
Sorry, I really should be updating more. I've just been caught up in making sure that I have; a)money to continue to go to college b)a home that I can return to, since my mother and father are splitting. c)my high school diploma. I just walked yesterday, yet they thought they were going to be funny and not give me the damned thing. I don't want to give my whole life story to justify me not posting, it's just that shit has been piling up since January, and I just have to keep shoveling it or else I'll suffocate. Commands: Smas: Try and take out Agent 3 with your sword. Tony Stark: Try and upgrade your suit, it's getting pretty rusty.
Billy Maize: Punches the rock with his iron fist. Polar Bear: Pours Coke on the rock in an attempt to erode it.
Sorry, I didn't think about my comment while I was sitting in a Starbucks, enjoying a thirty minute hiatus from living out of my first and only car (a small SUV,) unemployed (somehow, I've submitted my application to Taco Bell, Starbucks, and Target, and none of them would take me,) even though I have a bachelors degree in mechanical engineering. P.S, last time I checked, high school is a form of school. Though I will edit out the part about bitching.
I have to stop forgetting about this thread. Commands: I call up my old pal, the Energy Being and ask for his assistance Punisher Mech: Use on-board diggers to turn the large rock into smaller rocks Also, I think it would be a good idea to remove players who have been absent for a long time (Unless they tell us before hand they are going on vacation or something). Perhaps if you haven't posted in 5 turns, you get removed from the game? Hell, I can even copy down player stats onto a text document so they aren't even lost. Agree if you think this should be implemented, disagree if you don't think it should be.
Try to fix the bike
Nice work! It's good to see someone not-GM lending out a hand to this thread. Just keep in mind, people, that if you want to have a shot at it you better message a GM about it. Otherwise things will get messy. The reason why it takes time for me is because I like to detail the updates an incredible lot. It's nice, when I have the time for it. Once school is over I will return to actually update the thread more often. Anyway, commands. Combiner8761: Dead? Hah, like that will even remotely be a burden. Using my eldritch powers I channel my very spirit to the mist that remains of my corpse, and I conjure the very molecules into the amazing body I used to have, and thus, return to life. Horse Ebooks: I was wandering around the displays when I saw a dozen tiny trees in one corner of the marquee. I was fascinated and couldn t stop
Zake: Skip evil rock across pond Merc pointman: Requisition weapons.
Sorry wrong thing oops
Nyan: Hmmm have no body but have a soul I can be a ghost for now hopefully get my body back Start trying to scare Agent 3 from phasing into reality.
LR: Travels into game via portal and punches closest thing in the face.
Hello people! Now that my school is past, I can properly update this thread. So, without further delay, here is the update! [B]-Ally Commands- [/B][B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Billy Maize:[/B] Billy Maize: Punches the rock with his iron fist. [B]Roll: 5. Neutral. Recovering from the aerial assault that has left you with a headache, you look upon the assailant, and prepare to make him pay! ... But you assume that's grammatically incorrect as the assailant seems to be nothing else then an[I] Evil Sentient Floating Rock. Evil. Sentient. Floating. Rock. [/I][U][I][I]HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? [/I][/I][/U]Nevermind, you still have to collect the aforementioned payment. You brace yourself, and with as much force you can muster you throw yourself at the rock with your [I][U]IRON FIST. [/U][/I]You realize, however, that you failed to consider two prospects; 1. You don't really have an iron fist, that was a figure of speech. 2. The Evil Sentient Floating Rock can actually float. Who knew? The rock just barely floats out of your reach, and, still with all the force you could muster, you unceremoniously crash into the ground. Considering the fact that your face is down in dirt, you begin to rethink your plans.[/B] Polar Bear: Pours Coke on the rock in an attempt to erode it. [B]Roll: 6. Minor success. Watching his master fall into the ground, the Polar Bear begins to be really angry at the Floating Rock. Beginning his attack, he summons up the wonders of coke in his hands, and with a feral, but cute growl he launches himself up in the air towards the rock. Just like before, the rock slightly floats away from the Polar Bear, but it didn't anticipate that the odd concentrations of liquid in the Bear's hands may be used as projectiles. The polar bear throws the coke on the rock, pouring it all over. The amounts of citric acid in the soda evaporates the Rock's outer layers, causing the rock to sound as if it was screaming in pain. The Bear then falls to the ground, remarkably more ceremonious than the fall of his master. The Bear looks at the rock, that has recovered from the attack. It seems as if the coke only did minor damage. Perhaps the Bear should have more citric acid next time, or swap it out with sulfuric... [I](150 damage to the Evil Sentient Flying Rock.)[/I] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Combiner[/B] Combiner8761: Dead? Hah, like that will even remotely be a burden. Using my eldritch powers I channel my very spirit to the mist that remains of my corpse, and I conjure the very molecules into the amazing body I used to have, and thus, return to life. [B]Roll: 7. Success. (Not applicable.) Finding yourself floating admist the emptiness of space, you return to your senses and wonder how the hell you got here. Some... rocks or something? You dunno. You're not particularly concerned, since you've died, oh, five times before? You do know it takes a hell of a long time to recover, and the business topside is actually pretty serious. Oh well. You contact your eldritch friends again, who are no longer surprised to see you here. You look upon one of your oldest friends, Qui'skerx, and as him to do the procedure and resurrect you, with the usual rebuilding of your body. He simply waves you away with... something that could vaguely be considered a limb. He tells you that since you're in this game now you have to roll a 10 to get resurrected, and not a 7. Before you can ask him what the fuck that means he simply disappears. How odd. They haven't been this eager to reject you before. Especially not Qui'skerx. Oh well. Guess you have to roll a 10. What the hell ever that means.[/B] Horse Ebooks: I was wandering around the displays when I saw a dozen tiny trees in one corner of the marquee. I was fascinated and couldn t stop [B]Roll: 9. Major success! Going back to the horse, it seems that... where the hell did that marquee come from. Seriously. Anyway, he seems to be looking at some objects that are displayed within the marquee. He seems to be wandering around aimlessly, but he suddenly snaps his head to some small trees at one of the corners in the marquee. Odd things, they are so small, but they aren't models, rather they seem to be real trees, only scaled down. How fascinating. ... Apparently the horse shares that sentiment. He has run directly into them. And he doesn't seem like he will be stopping any time soon. The horse runs into the walls of the marquee, but that doesn't stop him; he takes the entire fucking tent down in order to continue running. He charges into the battlefield, his trails followed by the marquee, that is being dragged by him. The team looks at the horse, dumbfounded, and quickly step away from him, to prevent being run over. The horse finally ends up to an odd floating rock, covered with what seems to be coca-cola. It appears to be sentient, as when the horse approaches it, it yelps a large exclamation of surprise. The horse crashes into rock, cracking it, and the entire marquee flies as a result of the sudden stop, and end up completely enveloping the now screaming rock, preventing it from moving! There is a very-surprised Polar Bear watching this collision, and he stares at the horse that is now toppled upside down as a result of the crash, still flapping his legs as if he was sprinting. Can't this horse stop? [I](1200 damage to the Evil Sentient Floating Rock, who can't attack this turn!) [/I][/B][B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B][B] Jarrod:[/B] Try to fix the bike. [B]Roll: 8. Success! [/B][B][U] >Stand up [/U] You recover from that little embarrassment, but you're still at square one here. Still in a unknown area, still with a broken bike. What do you do? [U]>Examine bike[/U] You look closer at the bike, carefully avoiding the flagstone, and it seem as if the tire is caved in. It is repairable by only a very experienced mechanic. You're not a very experienced mechanic. [U]>Just fix the bike[/U] I don't know what 'Just' is. [U]>FIX THE FUCKING BIKE[/U] I don't see any kind of 'FUCKING' around here. How will I be able to fix it? [U]>Fix bike[/U] Without really knowing what you are doing, you wildly flail your arms around the tire, closing your eyes and hoping for the best. Unpredictably, you manage through several insane strokes of luck hit the dent in such a way that the tire is fixed again. When you finally open your eyes, you are both surprised and delighted. [I](Received Fixed Bike!)[/I] [U]>Woah[/U] I don't know what 'Woah' is. [U]>Honestly though, that was contrived. Who wrote this script?[/U] I don't know what 'Honestly' is. [/B][B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B][B] Team Magmacow[/B] Magmacow: I call up my old pal, the Energy Being and ask for his assistance. [B]Roll: 2. Severe failure. (Not applicable.) You fall through an odd void, and decide to yourself that perhaps you could need help. You decide upon calling up one of your older friends, the Energy Being. But you notice that you can't find your cell phone anywhere. Perhaps because you are only in your soul, and not a physical being at all. It's only a slight side effect of being [/B][I][B]dead. [/B][/I][B]Woops.[/B] Punisher Mech: Use on-board diggers to turn the large rock into smaller rocks. [B]Roll: 1. CRITICAL FAILURE! With the Evil Sentient Floating CRIMINAL subdued by the only member of the species [I]Equus ferus e-librorum, [/I]the Punisher Mech takes this opportunity to further cripple the rock. But the Mech decides that this work should belong to some other men, to the most elite, to the best of the best, yes... it belongs to... A GROUP OF INEXPERIENCED ON-BOARD DIGGERS WITH NO SENSE OF LOGIC, DIRECTION OR ANYTHING THAT COULD EVER BE CONSIDERED SOME KIND OF [I]INTELLIGENCE! [/I]To redeem this little flaw, the Mech make sure to give them the best tools available from his very own systems, including [I]Justice[/I]. It will cripple him, sure, but the tools are fool-proof, they can't fail with them. Equipped with the best hardware, the drooling idiots are now the most powerful on-board diggers on the planet! That are also drooling idiots. Now that everything is ready, the Mech orders them vigilantly to deal with that CRIMINAL SCUM! But... they don't even seem to move, only stumble around. As the Mech pokes on the main digger, screaming his orders, the idiot manages to fire [I]Justice[/I] straight into the Mech. The shot pierces right through the main processor, utterly destroying the kernel and making the Mech fall to the ground, ruined. The idiots aren't done yet, as they turn their vacant eyes to the team, and they stumble across the ground. [I](Punisher Mech is DEAD. Or, well, a better term would be that his system components are utterly destroyed. Whatever the case, he won't move again. Three on-board diggers has been added as ENEMIES! Main Digger has Justice! Secondary Digger has the Gas Vacuum, and the auxiliary digger has some plates of armor.)[/I] [/B][B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B] [B]Nyan:[/B] Start trying to scare Agent 3 from phasing into reality. By making a screeching Shadow with a height of 6 feet. [B]Roll: 4. Minor failure. (Not applicable.) Well, you sure are dead. You don't know where you are, perhaps some odd, vacant dimension. Hell? Heaven? Limbo? You don't know. But since you still have your soul, why not wreck some havoc? You remember that there was a dangerous Agent phasing into reality, and you look around for anything connected to his phasing. Sure enough, there is a bright tunnel of light in the horizon, stretching as far up into the void as you can tell. But when you approach it you realize that the phasing tunnel doesn't actually begin here; rather it uses this dimension as a sort of gateway. How odd! You decide to enter the dimension the portal orginates from, but when approaching it your soul screams in pain, and you can feel your memories slipping away! You can't think, what is happening? Where are you? This is so vacant. Are you dead or something? What is with that pillar of light in the horizon? You know you were thinking of something. Wrecking chaos, you believe. You don't remember. [/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [B]Lord Ragnarok: [/B]I travel into the game via portal and punch the closest thing in the face. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL HIT! [/B][B]Look at this. What a wonderful battle. You hope the people don't mind you joining in. Hopping through the various extradimensional portals of the universe, you travel with a grin on your face and with a speed slightly below of what would be expected from light. You dig through various irrelevent dimensions, planes of existence, and one or two creepy dark lairs, before you reach the area of interest. Flying with massive speed, you steer into the closest being you can see and prepare yourself to slam your fist into his face. And so you do. Whilst it was only the face you punched, the shockwave created from the speed of your punch raptures throughout the entire body, splitting it apart and throwing bits and pieces around everywhere. As you calmly clean off the blood you notice a strange weapon. It is heavy, and you can tell it's powerful. Surely a weapon fitting for a lord. Oh look, there are two other goons. You ready your new powerful weapon. Killing them won't take too long. [I](Killed the Main Digger! Received Justice!)[/I] [sp]Welcome to the game. If one thing is for sure, then that is that your beginning certainly lives up to your username.[/sp] [/B][B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B] [B]Team Smas[/B] Smas: I try to take out Agent 3 with my sword. [B]Roll: 8. Success! Brandishing your sword, you ignore your dick pains for a moment in order to take out Agent 3. Ignoring the fact that he is not fully phased into reality, you rely on your luck to damage him. You take a heavy swing, and surprise the Agent by slicing through the transparent image. You feel no impact what-so-ever. No effect seems to be inflicted. At all. You can see the agent start laughing maniacally, pointing at you. As you give up and turn to leave, you hear a silent drip. When looking back at the image you seem to have, after all, inflicted some damage. It is quite a nasty wound, and blood is rapidly phasing into reality and dripping on the ground. Agent 3 looks surprised, and puts on a nasty scowl as his phasing begins to near its completion. You are satisfied, not because of the wound, but because of the Agent's humiliation. (Only 450 damage to Agent 3, as the damage is slightly nullified because of phasing stage.) [/B]Tony Stark: Try and upgrade your suit, it's getting pretty rusty. [B]Roll: 3. Failure. After you get past the fucking awesome display of your powers, you realize that they are not in the shape they used to be. After some preparing, you begin to tinker with it, but you can only upgrade slight faults here and there, you're not able to find why it doesn't work as well as before. [/B][B]This calls for some inspiration. You take out a convenient can of beer, and not really thinking you gulp the entire can in a matter of seconds. Taking a deep breath, you instantly recognize the problem! You start working on the suit, improving it and perfecting it, jamming this into that and rerouting that into this, and soon, you get the most perfect suit of armor that anybody has ever witnessed! It is better than anything that could ever be built out of a box of scraps! God, you hate that meme... [I](Confident in his drunken super, Tony Stark has created the Iron Man Suit Mark MCCCXXXVII!, with a REVOLUTIONARY power of 1000/1000! The best suit known to man, and let noone tell you different!)[/I] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Sunny Dei[/B] Sunny Dei: I sit immobile. [B]Roll: 6. Minor success. (Not applicable.) And so you do. [/B] Dufflebag: Find a weakness in the Evil Floating Rock. [B]Roll: 4. Minor failure. After saving your leader you begin to plan an attack against the Evil Sentient Floating Rock, and because of the fact that any attack works by exploiting a weakness, be it a fault in the target's armor, or the target's own mortality, you decide to examine the rock in order to find out more about it. Unfortunately, there is a large fucking tent stacked upon the rock. You can only see the spot where the rock bulges out of the cloth. You walk to it, anyway, hoping that you could find something even though it's completely covered. You grit your teeth and look into the cloth, hoping to find some kind of visage between the fibers, and what do you know, that was a dumb move. The rock suddenly shifts it's movement, and crashes against your fore head. You recoil back and swear, wincing in pain. Nah, fuck this. [I](100 damage to Dufflebag.)[/I] [/B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Zake: Zake: Skip evil rock across pond. [B]Roll: 5. Neutral. When thinking about things to do with a rock, what do you think of? You think about stone skipping. It's an ingenious idea to apply it to Evil Sentient Floating Rocks as well! What possible problems could arise? With the exception of the shape, which is far from ideal for skipping... Or the size and weight, making it nigh-impossible to lift... OR the aforementioned evilness, which will probably just make it skip in an arc only to hit you in the face... Not to mention the fact that it's doubtful it would skip at all, considering that it would probably float above the water, ruining your experience. With the exception of all of those, WHAT possible problems could arise? Wait, is that a giant tent enveloping it? How will I be able to get it out of there? Ah, screw it. I'm too lazy for that.[/B] Merc pointman: Requisition weapons. [B]Roll: 7. Success. Realizing that you're all in deep shit you contact Mercenary HQ. Luckily, they haven't realized yet that you're a traitor. You tell them that you could use new weapons, and that they should loud out the best cache they have. They tell you that sure, they can do that, but when the plane flies by and the crate is dropped you suddenly realize that you're mercenaries, and mercenaries are [I]lying bastards.[/I] [I](Added THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD to Mercenary Pointman. Stats are as follows;)[/I] [/B] [quote] [U][B]THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD[/B] [/U][I]An odd, medieval crossbow, that has the words "THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD" engraved on its stock.[/I] [B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B] [B]Bolts:[/B] When damage is inflicted, to self or not, an additional cripple effect is added that weakens the victim's rolls. This effect is removed by the end of next turn. The severity of the effect depends on the roll. [B]Arc trajectory:[/B] -1 to all rolls except for crits. This penalty does not apply when the starting roll is neutral or negative. This penalty is removed after four uses. [B]One bolt loaded at a time:[/B] You can't use the crossbow twice in a row. [/quote] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [B]-Enemy Commands-[/B] Secondary Digger: amaguavaavaguavaavagixtiko Auxiliary Digger: GwagahahahahGIXTIKO [B]I don't quite follow these gentlemen's line of reasoning, but I will making commands for them anyway. [/B] Secondary Digger: You stop your idiotic drooling and shoot some of the night cloud at Lord Ragnarok. [B]Roll: 2. Well, you can't seem to stop drooling, in fact every attempt I try to make you move you only drool even more. It seem that this disgusts Ragnarok as well. He punched you in the face. You deserved it. Not that you can even understand these words. Or even the pain you were given. [I](1000 damage to this idiot.)[/I] [/B]Auxiliary Digger: Brace yourself and use your own armor to ram yourself into Lord Ragna- ah what the hell, I'll simply slam you against him. [B]Roll: 8. Success. Well, that worked a lot better. I guess directly giving you commands are pointless, instead I need to throw your body like a ragdoll with my amazing powers. Anyway, you have managed to throw ragnarok a few dozen meters across the ground, and he actually looks somewhat damaged. Why am I even writing this, you can't read it. [I](Holy shit actual 800 damage to Lord Ragnarok. How.) [/I][/B][B] "Who was that?" "A lost soul, growing too close to our dimension." "Oh, no no. I knew that guy, I'm talking about the guy that shifted through our lair for perhaps a zeptosecond or two." "... Are you completely certain about the validity of that statement?" "Oh yeah, sure. Had a huge grin on him and everything. Will that 'complicate our machination'?" "I will have to admit that I wasn't aware of that particular lack of security. I will take measures to prevent such a thing from happening again." "You, not knowing something? That's new." "It is only a temporary condition. It will not happen again. Yes." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Current effects and other events-[/B] Dawson's protection service - All attacks against dagger is redirected at Dawson and deals 35% less damage. Dagger can't die by self-gained or allied damage if the roll is above 2 - instead limits his life at 1. Can die from self-gained or allied damage when in this stage. Folcrum Flyer will become non-combatant in 2/3 turns Smas has Dick pains for 2/3 turns! +5% damage taken. Sunny Dei is immobile for 1/2 turns. A lot of people are DEAD. [B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [/B]-Allies- Team Anderson: Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000 Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!) Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000 Team Billy: Billy Maize: 1600/2,000 (Heavy Pistol) (Semi-auto Assault Rifle) Polar Bear: 1,900/2,000 Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1)) Team Chaos bull: Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 0/2,000 (dark powers) (DEAD.) Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.) Team Cookie: Cookie53: DEAD! Team Destroyer Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers) Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. Charged.) Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. Charged.) Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover) Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used) Team Egbert: John Egbert: 2,000/2,000 Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000 Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000 Team Eva: Eva-1337: 0/1,500 (DEAD.) Team Face: Mr. Face: 1/2,000 (Can of anti-rust spray.) (Protected) Horde of allies: 2000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.) Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350) Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.) Deadpool: 2,000/2,000 Team Foob: Foobagooba: 2,000/2,000 Team Firearms: Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger) (Protected by Dawson.) Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger) Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula) Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things)) Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 1,900/2,000 (Will become non-combatant in 2/3 turns) Scald: Bullet through head! Haze: 850/2,000(Flying) (noxious gas vents) (reduces enemy defence to 80% on successful gas-based attack until enemy rolls 5 or above) Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Insanity: InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds) Team Ian: Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.) Team Jarrod: Jarrod: 1,400/2,000 (Fixed Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 0/2,000 (DEAD.) (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable) Punisher Mech: 0/4,000 (DEAD.) Crate of Supplies: 3/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.). Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons. Team Nyan: Nyan Squirrel: DEAD! Team Nomad: PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun) Team Ragnarok Lord Ragnarok: 1,200/2,000 (Justice) Team Samiam: Samiam22: 1,900/2,000 Team Smas: Smas: 1,600/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill)) (Dick pains: 5% damage increase for 2/3 turns) Tony Stark: 600/2,000 (Mark MCCCXXXVII Iron Man: 1,000/1,000) Team Sunny: Sunny Dei: 2,000/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead)) (Chainaxe) (Immobile, 1/2 Turns) DuffleBag: 1,450/2,000 (Bolter) (Chainaxe) That Team: That Ninja: 1,500/2,000 Team Trounark: Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols) Team Samppa: Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls)) Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs)) Team Zake: Zakedodead: 1,850/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons) Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000 (THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD) Team Zarjk: Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (copy of halo 3) (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4) [B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B] [B]-Enemies-[/B] Agent 3: 2883/3333 (Phasing into reality! 3/4) Evil Sentient Floating Rock: 8650/10000 (It's a rock. It Doesn't break easily.) Main Digger: Already DEAD. Secondary Digger: 1,500/2,500 (Vacuum with night cloud) Auxiliary Digger: 3,000/3,000 (Plates of armor: 1000/1000) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [B] -Neutral-[/B] The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000 Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair) Agent 9: 9,850/10,000 [B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B] You know the drill, inform me of any faults or something that you don't like. I'll sleep now, and proofread and correct this update tomorrow. How come I always run late on these updates? I honestly don't know about removing old users, but sure, we can include it, as long we have a good system. I suggest that we should have a kind of check every five turns, and those who doesn't post within the span of those checks gets removed. I think this is the easiest way of doing this, and gives old users a chance to post again without being removed instantly. Post opinions or other suggestions to this, and we can start with it next update.
Why do I always get such shitty rolls In my afterlife, I choose to assassinate the foul being behind these cruel strokes of bad luck and hopefully also manage to come back to life
Billy Maize: Activate Max Payne mode and do a stylish shoot-dodge with the heavy pistol in hand, in an attempt to kill Agent 3. Polar Bear: Offer Auxiliary Digger a can of Coke, which is actually filled with fluoroantimonic acid. Make sure to look extra cute during the offering.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.