• The Never Ending Dungeon V.5 - You slip on a banana peel and land face first on a landmine
    677 replies, posted
Fuck it... I have it half finished, If someone would like to continue it, PM me.
[IMG]http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/351/9/e/tned__y_u_keep_dying_by_seekoutguy-d4jff3t.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Nyan Squirrel;36451227][IMG]http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/351/9/e/tned__y_u_keep_dying_by_seekoutguy-d4jff3t.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] Don't steal my shit! You get zero on update [Sp]JK[/Sp] [editline]23rd June 2012[/editline] -Ally Commands- ---------------------------------------------------- Team Folc: Folc: As what I thought was simply an evil sentient, levitation capable rock turned out to be a geodude, I open my book of anatomy, black magic, and cheese recipes, and, following the instructions, murder a frail homeless serial killer, bind his soul... Oh, fuck that, I summon the spirit of Pvt. Vain to declare the rock ridiculous and use his powers of dickery to will it out of existence. [B]Roll: 1. CRITICAL FAILURE! Still pissed about how you treated him back in the third arena, Pvt. Vain's lingering GM Spirit cracks into existence, before bringing down several thousand magic missiles on your head, killing you instantly.Folc: DEAD![/B] Scald: Launch the cannon via internal switch. Rip off secondary digger's arms mid flight, before landing and roundhouse kicking him in the groin with one of your heel-mounted foot long retractable stabilizing spikes. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL SUCCESS. Mourning your overlord and creators death, you hit the launch button on the man cannon, flying through the air, you grab Secondary Diggers arms (Which he had up, for some reason,) Tearing them off, before landing and performing multiple spinning kicks with your heel spike out, cutting away at secondary diggers groin region until you cleave clean through him, killing him due to extreme blood loss. Secondary Digger: DEAD![/B] Juggernougat: Call in an airdrop for several large Kanabos. Equip self with Kanabos. Break every bone in Agent 3s body WITH KANABOS. [B]Roll: 4. Small Failure. You call in the Kanabo drop. However, it lands on your head, dealing some damage, though you do manage to equip one to each arm. Juggernougat: -400 Health[/B] Haze: Tell Sheogorath that Agent 3 said he was a false god, before retiring so I can have room for a potential new teammate [B]Roll: 9. PRETTY DAMNED CLOSE TO CRITICAL SUCCESS! As you walk away from the arena, you notice sheogorath performing circus balancing acts on his nice chair. You lie and make up some story about how Agent 3 declared Sheogorath a false god, and Sanguine more fun, regrdless. He goes into a blood frenzy, rips out Agent 3's intestines, and Ties them around his throat. Agent 3: -1000 Health, Strangled (Will die in three turns unless saved)[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Billy Maize: Quickly inject pure Coca-Cola into the Polar Bear's bloodstream, in an attempt to revive him. [B]Roll: 6. Minor success. After standing up from the floor of Conveniently Placed Sand Paper of Exfoliating Your Face OffTM, you take into account just how much in agony you are. Well, actually, you're not in agony any longer considering that sand paper destroyed your nerve cells. Now you only have the memory left, which is good enough to make you recoil upon recollection. You decide that it would be best if you could heal your face with the all-purpose coke the Polar Bear possesses, and before even finishing that thought you recognize the familiar sound of cracking up a can of coke. What isn't familiar, however, is the adorable screech afterwards that is still enough to make your face white as a sheet. You look around, and surely, you see the adorable Polar Bear slowly disintegrating by his own wonderous coke! What a horrible, and ironic fate! You have to save him! And the best way to do this is to fight fire with fire coke with coke. Taking up one of your spare cans of coke, of which you have way to many of, but dammit, you can't refuse a gift from something adorable as that bear! You pour the coke over the other coke, washing it away. (That's not how acids works.) Crying over the fact that the once proud, cute bear is now a pile of burned flesh, you take the soda and inject it into the polar bear's VEIN. The coke does it work, and the bear coughs and rises up slowly, miraculously revived. You don't however, have the same efficiency with the soft drink as the bear does, and thus, the bear is still incredibly crippled. You must heal him now! (Polar Bear revived! Only has 100 health.)[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Magmacow: I give Smas an appreciative High-five before pulling out a treasure map and locating the spot where I buried my lucky shoes. [B]Roll: 4. Somewhat Failure. You pull out the treasure map, but it spontaneously combusts, burning your hands to hell. Magmacow: -400 Health[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- The Platemaster: The Platemaster likes The Platemaster's new armor. The Platemaster looks for an enemy to plate. [B]Roll: 7. Success. You strike Agent 3 over the head with a ceramic serving tray, dealing slight brain trauma. Agent 3: -600 Health[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Team Sunny: Sunny Dei: I get my chain-axe and start slicing and dicing the Secondary Digger [B]Roll: 0. He's dead, John.[/B] Dufflebag: Attempt one more time to call in reinforcements for the squad [B]Roll: 9. PRETTY DAMNED GOOD SUCCESS! A gatling laser armed apache helicopter with several autonimous drones shows up to assist you.[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Nyan: It feels good to be alive. NOW time to send my brother Damon a message to come help me in my fights [B]Roll:7. Success. You send your brother Damon a message to come help you. He arrives. Seriously, give me more to work with...[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Team Zake zake: use water type moves to ko the geodude. [B]Roll:4. Fail. The Geodude noticed you trying to emulate a pokemon via ripping the top of a fire hydrant. It decides to "help" by collideing with it at high speed, causeing the hydrant to dislodge and ram into your face from pressure. Zake: -400[/B] Merc pointman: shoot THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD at agent 3 [B]Roll:9-1. Success. You fire the crossbow at Agent 3. He buckles in pain as the heavy metal bolt explodes his patella, crippling his leg and his next roll by -2. Agent 3: -1200, -2 on next roll. O, wait...He's dead.[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Team Smas: Smas: Eat the Pocket Spaghetti and Treats to restore your health! [B]Roll:8. Success. You eat the delicious snack food. You mumbles of joy are amplified by the sudden recovery of several severe injuries across your body. Smas: +500 Health[/B] Tony Stark: Attempt to heal/stabilize yourself via some on-board medical stasis program. [B]Roll:10. Great Success. [Sp] Right about here is where I quit giving a damn.[/Sp] The onsuit medical system pumps biological omnigel into your wounds, relocates your joints and repairs you bones, fully healing you. Tony Stark: Fully Healed.[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Team Face: Mr. Face: Begin searching for a better cache of weapons, again preferably M4A1's...perhaps with ACOG. [B]Roll:10. Better than M4's, you happen across a BOZAR! This precision machined Automatic sniper rifle automatically grants +2 to all commands that involve damaging the enemy by shooting it.[/B] Horde: Protect Mr. Face. [B]Roll:0. Let's face it, they're already protecting you, you could have used this command for something much more practical. ---------------------------------------------------- Team Combiner Combiner: Read a book or something in the afterlife. Hell, maybe conjure a video game using your dark powers. [B]Roll:5. Unable to find anything to do, you get bored and trim your toenails.[/B] Chicken: Bless the entire party with the glory that is your feathers. [B]Roll:2. Great failure. Your feathers spontaniously combust [Sp]Actually, Sheogorath just threw a torch at you.[/Sp] Your feathers are all crisped off, and you are severely burnt. Chicken: -800, Naked.[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Zarjk: Zarjk decides that fuck those demons they will work for me or die. He tries to bend the laws of reality with his hands and enter hell and get his Halo 3 back. [B]Roll:9. Great Success. You descend into hell and grab your halo 3. As you do, master chief pops out, dual wielding battle rifles and shoots all the demons in the head, before offering to give you assistance. Master Chief added to team.[/B] ---------------------------------------------------- Random Shit: The Apocalypse happens because Zarjk pissed off the demons. About a dozen demons added to Enemy roster. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Allies- Team Anderson: Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000 Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!) Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000 Team Billy: Billy Maize: 1100/2,000 (Heavy Pistol) (Semi-auto Assault Rifle) Polar Bear: 100/2000 Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1)) Team Chaos bull: Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 0/2,000 (dark powers) (DEAD.) Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.)(Spooked!(0/1)) Cucco: 800/1,000 (Will deal 2000 damage to killer) Team Cookie: Cookie53: DEAD! Team Destroyer Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers) Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. Charged.) Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. Charged.) Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover) Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used) Team Face: Mr. Face: 1/2,000 (Can of anti-rust spray.) (Bozar:+2 to rolls involving shooting someone/thing with Bozar.) (Protected) Horde of allies: 2000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.) Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350) Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.) Deadpool: 2,000/2,000 Team Firearms: Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger) (Protected by Dawson.) Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger) Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula) Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things)) Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 0/2,000 (Non-Combatant) Juggernougat: 1,600/2,000 (Mudderfuckin Kanabos) Scald: 2,000/2,000 Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Insanity: InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds) Team Ian: Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.) Team Jarrod: Jarrod: 1,400/2,000 (Fixed Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 1,600/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable) Crate of Supplies: 3/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.). Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons. Team Nobody: Justnobody: 2,200/2,200 (The Power of Plates) Team Nyan: Nyan Squirrel: 2,000/2,000 Matt Damon: 2,000/2,000 Team Nomad: PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun) Team Ragnarok Lord Ragnarok: 1,200/2,000 (Justice) Team Samiam: Samiam22: 1,900/2,000 Team Smas: Smas: 840/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill)) (Bursting into Treats) Tony Stark: 2,000/2,000 (Mark MCCCXXXVII Iron Man: 1,000/1,000) Team Sunny: Sunny Dei: 2,000/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead)) (Chainaxe) DuffleBag: 450/2,000 (Bolter) (Chainaxe) Apache: 5000/5000 (Gatling Laser) (Drones 10/10) That Team: That Ninja: 1,500/2,000 Team Trounark: Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols) Team Samppa: Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls)) Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs)) Team Zake: Zakedodead: 1,450/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons) Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000 (THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD) Team Zarjk: Zarjk: 2,000/2,000 (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Enemies- Lesser Demon of pride: 2,000/2,000 (Its successful hits give it +1 on rolls for a while. This stacks.) Lesser Demon of rage: 2,000/2,000 ( +1 on its successful rolls, -1 on its failures.) Lesser Demon of greed: 2,000/2,000 (Players who fail attacks against/ are successfully attacked by get their equipment stolen. Must be killed to get stuff stolen back.) Lesser Demon of sloth: 2,000/2,000 (All rolls for everything are -1 until killed.) Lesser Demon of envy: 2,000/2,000 (If attacked successfully, gets attacker's roll -1 for command) Lesser Demon of lust: 2,000/2,000 (Attackers become slaves on failures, remain so until successful roll for freedom or is killed.) Lesser Demon of Gluttony: 2,000/2,000 (Its succesful attack recover its health) Lord of Sins: 5,000/5,000 (Lesser Demons recover 400 health each turn, even if they are dead.) Lord of Undeath: 5,000 (Horde of undeath creature gets +200 max health and recovers 250 health each turn until Lord of Undeath dies. Horde of undeath Blocks damage.) Horde of Undeath: 1,000/1,000 (Blocks damage to lord of undeath.) Hellfire King: 10,000/10,000 (Flying, Bitch! Also, Cremates foes when it kills them, requires more effective methods of lifesaving (And 8 or better on recovery rolls to be successful Still neutral on 5, 6, and 7) Agent 3: Dead/3333 (Strangulation: Will die in 0/3 turns unless saved... Oh, wait...) Geodude: 8650/10000 (It's a rock. It Doesn't break easily.) Secondary Digger: DEAD! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Neutral- The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000 Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair) Agent 9: 9,850/10,000 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Yeah, I've doomed us all due to OP Enemies. Meh, let's see how this works.
Nyan: Pulls out a Gravity pickaxe obtained from Damon and try's smashing it right into Geodude. Damon: Call's his space pet Verda (She looks like this [IMG]http://www.imgbase.info/images/safe-wallpapers/tv_movies/aliens/16741_aliens_xenomorph_alien.jpg[/IMG]) To help us in are battles and stuff
Folc: While in hell, find the demon who goes by the name of Aidan to revive me, and request assistance in the name of pure bloodshed. [Release] Legends speak of an abomination of a man. A gigantic albino with skin marked of leprosy and battle, and armor made of the flesh of those fallen before him. He would eat those who he defeated, and rape the women he captured. His once-cohorts were forced to kill him for his sins. He would not stay dead, though. Having made a contract with a demon, in exchange for eternal servitude, he was granted the repairing of his body should he die, and eternal fame and glory. Little did the demon know how supremely diabolical his lackey was. After the cremation of his body, Aidan convinced his lord to give him a "better body." This, of course, voided the contract. Now a monster in a monsters shell, the demon Aidan, lord of Severage, roam earth, killing foes with his mighty cleaver (It's basically a giant inch thick plate of metal with a blade cut into one side, and a two-handed grip cut out of the opposite,) and devouring them and their souls. [/Release] Gee, I'm good at storytelling, aren't I?
Mr. Face: Begin searching for materials to build a shelter out of. Horde: Set up outposts for the reason of keeping operationally aware of the surrounding areas and their inhabitants.
I yell out "Fuck it" and rig the random number generator so I can finally get my fucking lucky shoes instead of being maimed or killed or some other bullfuck
Yay, I got a new fan for my room. Convenient, since my fishtank or something makes it get up in the 80s.
I will post my commands before I leave for vacation. [U]AGAIN.[/U] Don't worry though, this time I will actually have an internet connection. Or at least, I'm fairly certain I will. Combiner: I guess I will simply sit here then. Horse Ebooks: How to write like a professional food Cucco: Gah! Restore your GLORIOUS FEATHERS this INSTANT.
zake: Use NewsPuns on the geodude merc: Learn martial arts from genuine chinese people. [editline]25th June 2012[/editline] Why is it that updates only happen when I'm banned? Because I'm banned all the time?
[QUOTE=zakedodead;36490402]zake: Use NewsPuns on the geodude merc: Learn martial arts from genuine chinese people. [editline]25th June 2012[/editline] Why is it that updates only happen when I'm banned? Because I'm banned all the time?[/QUOTE] ...Probably...
The guy's gonna get a perma some day for his ban history.
Can somebody please update? I hate doing it.
Hey people. Yes, I do indeed have internet in whatever distant fantasy land I am currently in. I will begin working on the update, without the silly problems I usually have. [editline]Why are you reading the space in an editline go be productive[/editline] Posted: 8 hours ago. Oh my god how did this happen. I'll try to churn out the update, let me get my shit together. i need to go to sleep you will get the wonderous update tomorrow
I go bat-shit insane and start swinging my chain-axe at the closest enemies Dufflebag: Goes to get himself healed Apache: Light up every enemy with the the gatling lasers and drones
Hey people. I'm finally done with this update. Yeah, that's the entire introduction. [B]------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B][B] For all commands except noted otherwise; -1 to ALL ROLLS. (Lesser demon of Sloth.) -Ally Commands- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Team Combiner[/B] Combiner: I guess I will simply sit here then. [B]Roll: 7 - 1 = 6 (Sloth). Minor success. (Not applicable.) And so you do.[/B] Horse Ebooks: How to write like a professional food [B]Roll: 3. Failure. (Sloth doesn't apply; spambot and of random nature.) After recovering from its shock that the Evil Sentient Flying Rock is ACTUALLY A GEODUDE HOLY SHIT the Horse approaches the Geodude and says; "How to write like a professional food?" The Geodude is astounded. And so am I. Nevermind the rambles of an unidentified unreliable narrator, after overcoming its brief shock, the Geodude answers with what can only be identified as the sound of rocks grinding together. Apparently not accepting whatever he said, the horse continues to the newly created demons, and asks the same question; "How to write like a professional food?" The demon of sloth doesn't care to think for an answer, and simply tells the Horse - "i dont know wat do u think?" After going still for a few moments, the horse falls down to the ground, its body entirely rigid. It seems that the answer has broken the poor horses mind. In some way. Perhaps the horse doesn't think at all, and looking for its thoughts caused an internal error in its code. Who knows. Anyway, it's probably not getting up for a while.[I] (Horse cannot do anything until restarted.)[/I][/B] Cucco: Gah! Restore your GLORIOUS FEATHERS this INSTANT. [B]Roll: 10 - 1 = 9 (Sloth). The chicken still seems to be stunned after the fire burning its coat of feather. It lets out a small squak. And two more. And then four. Its squawks are rapidly increasing in volumes, screaming in such a way that any sentient being would cover their ears, regardless of actually having them or not. Continuing on its epic rant, the chicken slams its tiny limbs in the ground, surprisingly creating, although very small, quakes. I think it's upset. After the longest rant that you could imagine a chicken doing, it lets out a final squawk, more like a roar, and uses its very rage to forcefully grow back its feathers. But the cucco grows more and more tired even as the rage still burns, slumping to the ground still frothing at the mouth. It wasn't entirely complete with growing back its feathers, but this works. Plus, the newfound rage of the chicken would prove an excellent benefit... [I](Healed 300 damage. Added new perk! Cucco rage, +1 to a roll if the cucco has taken damage the previous turn.)[/I][/B] [B] ---------------------------------------------------- [/B][B] Team Face [/B] Mr. Face: Begin searching for materials to build a shelter out of. [B]Roll: 8 - 1 = 7 (Sloth). Success. Completing your search for automatic weaponry, you decide to properly set up shop in order to survive in... wherever you are. You look around for materials, scrounging the lands far and wide, until you finally find something... promising. It's a gigantic, dormant robot. It has quite a hole in its face, and it looks as if many of its parts were already salved. You can tell that some of the stronger pieces of armor was stripped away, together with some kinds of weaponry. You can't tell what weapons they were. Still, this was better than what you expected. Using the hull as main building parts, and cables to sloppily bind it all together, you got a kind of stable shelter. From what you can tell, it would provide some decent protection. [I](Shelter added! To enter/leave the shelter you must post a command doing so. You don't have to roll in this case; it always works. Inside the shelter, you gain -1 to all attack rolls, but the enemy gains -2 to all attack rolls directed towards you.)[/I][/B] Horde of Allies: Set up outposts for the reason of keeping operationally aware of the surrounding areas and their inhabitants.[B] Roll: 7 - 1 = 6 (Sloth). Using some of the salvaged tech, you manage to create the best and newest with observational technology; binoculars. Setting up outpost alpha, you make the first discovery of the area's inhabitants; a large number of diverse characters constantly fighting eachother. Most are humanoid... ish, but there are also such things as a chicken, a horse, a helicopter, [del]a dufflebag[/del] nevermind, that's only a chaos marine, and there is also an amount of demon things. Is this how the inhabitants always act? How do they survive? [I](Added binoculars; a way to easily look at things from a long distance. Detected weird inhabitants.)[/I][/B] [B] ----------------------------------------------------[/B] Folc: While in hell, find the demon who goes by the name of Aidan to revive me, and request assistance in the name of pure bloodshed. [B]Roll: 3. Failure. (Dead; can't be affected by sloth. Not applicable.) Hello, hell! For some reason, you knew you were going to land here eventually. Nothing much, only a sneaking suspicion that stopped being sneaky and hit you over the head with an anvil ever since the incident. We don't talk about the incident. Anyhow, you go to find one of the old evil demons that you got to know in the summer camp you used to spend your summer. Ah, the wonderous days of conjuring evil being of total destruction. Anyway, as you walk with your nonexistent legs, breath in nonexistent air with your nonexistent lungs, you approach ol' Aidan, who seems to have grown quite some power in hell. You're not surprised, he always strived to be as cruel as possible. As he notices you, his eyes widen and seems to be taken aback by your presence. Before you can properly greet him he stabs a sword in your nonexistent gut. You know that you don't have a physical form, but it feels wrong regardless. "Folcrum." He says, annoyed by his inability to kill you. "Why are you here?" "I'm dead, of course! That's why I'm here. As you still owe me a favor after the... incident I want you to resurrect me, and join me, in a battle that can only be described as PURE BLOODSHED." "No. Owe you a 'favor?' I don't owe people anything. What I do is kill people and take everything they own. No loans. No 'favors.' I don't even respect you. 'Non-combatant?' I would like to exile you to the darkest pits of hell as it is the closest thing to dying again in your incorporeal form. Why I don't is because of your own potential." "Well, uhm. Let me fulfill it! let me out there and wreck some shit. "You won't. Don't try to trick me. And even if I, for some reason, WANTED to resurrect you, I can't. Unless you are particularly lucky." "What do you mean by that?" "Simply wait. It will happen by itself." Alright then. What now. You wait, you suppose.[/B] [B] ----------------------------------------------------[/B] Magmacow: I yell out "Fuck it" and rig the random number generator so I can finally get my fucking lucky shoes instead of being maimed or killed or some other bullfuck [B]Roll: 6 - 1 = 5 (Sloth). Neutral. Deciding that you've had it with this shit, you decide you will take care of this in your own way. Forth wall breaking. As you go beyond the game, you find the system of this particular updater. A shitty random number generator hosted on random.org. You outline the methods of hacking in, complex schematics and plans to outline the particular workings of this website. The... odd method of... uh, and the... oh god wtf is this nerd shit. ffuck what wait, 6 MONTHS IN JAIL FOR 'UNATHORIZED ACCESS?' WITH POTENTIAL OF GETTING 5 YEARS IF I FUCK AROUND MORE? INSTEAD OF FUCKING AROUND, YOU SIMPLY DECIDE TO FUCK THAT! ---------------------------------------------------- Team Nyan:[/B] Nyan: Pulls out a Gravity pickaxe obtained from Damon and try's smashing it right into Geodude.[B] Roll: 5 - 1 = 4 (Sloth). Trivia question; what tool do you use in order to break stone and retrieve ore? That's right, a pickaxe! Therefore, it is obviously the most potent weapon against something as a Geodude. With your ever-convenient brother at your side, you request the most effective pickaxe of all; the one channeled with the power of gravity! Damon shrugs and somehow conjures a considerably cool-looking pickaxe, hanging in thin air. As you run over in order to retrieve it, Damon sinks his hands and the pickaxe plummets right into your hands. Oh wait, I'm sorry, plummets right through your hands. Through the ground as well, for that matter. Yes, for some inane reason, a Pickaxe bestowed with the powers of gravity is incredibly heavy. You look over to Damon for an explanation. Again, he shrugs and says that in order for something to have considerable powers of gravity, it needs to also be incredibly heavy. Sorry, but that's physics. You wish to punch him, but your hands hurt too much. [I](100 damage to Nyan.)[/I][/B] Damon: Call your space pet, Verda.[B] Roll: 3 - 1 = 2 (Sloth). Severe failure! After giving Nyan the 'Gravity Pickaxe' you decide to actually use something that is useful, like your alien space pet, Verda! Honestly, you don't really know where she is, but she always seems to turn up when you mention her, so it shouldn't be too difficu- OH HEY THERE SHE IS. Ah, and there is her typical mauling of your facial features, her rampaging attacks again and again. Always charming, reminds you of the old days. Ah, those were the times. Unfortunately, Verda leaves as quickly as she came, allowing Nyan to panic about the sudden attack. You breifly reassure him. "Oh, that's Verda. She does that. Don't worry, I've grown used to it." For some reason, that only leaved him more concerned. [I](800 damage to Damon.)[/I] [/B][B] ---------------------------------------------------- Team Sunny: [/B] Sunny Dei: I go bat-shit insane and start swinging my chain-axe at the closest enemies[B] Roll: 1. CRITICAL FAILURE. After seeing the cucco finish its rant, you are reminded of the clear advantage of being bat-shit insane.Seeing the clear advantage in being bat-shit insane. You grab your reliable chain-axe, and through the power of will alone, you manage to disconnect the higher thinking functions of your brain. Steeping right from the mammal brain to the reptile one, you let out a roar and cut the nearest enemy with your chain-axe. Problem is, in your little insanity world, anyone that could even remotely pose a threat to you is an enemy. Thus, you attack Dufflebag. Without seeing it coming, he is cut in half, gory little pieces flying around everywhere. This could pose a problem. [I](Dufflebag is DEAD. Sunny Dei has gotten batshit insane, randomly attacks players and enemies, and deals +50% extra damage. Sunny Dei must roll a 9 or above to restore his sanity, while other allies must roll 7 or above.)[/I][/B] Dufflebag: Goes to get himself healed[B] Roll: 10. CRITICAL... uh, surgical skills? The Dufflebag considers his poor health, but fails to consider the fact that he may be dead. Therefore, he takes out a surgery kit from out of nowhere, unexplained. Ignorant of the fact that his soul is far away from the gory pieces that can barely be considered as the remains of a body, Dufflebag uses the kit to sew together the aforementioned pieces, and through the power of ignorance, he manages to completely heal his tattered body, breaking several laws of incorporeal existence in the process. In the end, he accidentally binds his soul with his now restored body. Opening his eyes, and finally realizing that he has actually died and resurrected again, he marvels over his newfound surgical skills. [I](Resurrected at 2000/2000! New perk; Epic surgical skills! +25 health restored to all commands involving healing, and any successful roll is enough to resurrect himself or an ally; health restored depends on roll.)[/I] [/B] Apache: Light up every enemy with the the gatling lasers and drones [B]Roll: 10 - 1 = 9 (Sloth). Major success. After a standard check up of the Apache's systems, the pilot decide to do a different test; how well the weaponry actually works. Activating the drones, charging up energy for the lasers, and refilling the ammunition for the turrets. After tuning the different systems to their optimal performance, pointing the weapons to their proper directions, the pilot leans back in his chair, and presses a single bullet. The next ten seconds cannot be properly be explained, as the only thing anyone would be able to see is blinding light. Sipping your coffee, you file a report of the weapon systems. The report only holds three words; "Pretty fucking good."[I] (500 damage to lesser demons and the geodude, 750 damage to lord of sins, hellfire king and horde of undead.)[/I][/B] [B] ---------------------------------------------------- Team Zake: [/B] Zake: Use news puns on the geodude.[B] Roll: 8 - 1 = 7 (Sloth.) Success. After calmly dislodging the fire hydrant from your face, you call out the Geodude. It rolls it eyes and gets ready to punch you, but you quickly say "Have you heard about Fox News?" The Geodude stops in his tracks. "Yeah, you know, they say they are 'fair and balanced', but they create the worst conservatist propaganda I've seen since... uhm." The Geodude puts on a huge scowl. "Well anyway, did you know that some country, I think it was Australia, I dunno, actually BANNED it, as their laws state that it's illegal to lie on television! See? So they're liers." The Geodude puts on such a huge scowl new cracks form in the rock in order to properly show his anger. "In fact, you may say that they are, uhm, UNFAIR AND BIASED! SEE? SEE WHAT I DID THERE?" That pun was enough for the Geodude. His scowl almost entirely covers the rock, and he swiftly moves to punch Zake. However, the cracks and fissures formed after his scowl are big enough for a good chunk of his rocky body to fall off! The Geodude reels backward in pain, as his jaw is gone. "You- you did get it right? It was a play on words, as the original slogan was fair and balanced? And I changed it around! Genius, isn't it?" [I](500 damage to the Geodude.) [/I][/B] Merc pointman: Learn martial arts from genuine chinese people. [B]Roll: 7 - 1 = 6 (Sloth). Minor success. With Agent 3 dead, the Mercenary decides it would be best to improve his combat skills, in particular, martial arts. But any knock-off martial training won't do. No, his knowledge must come from genuine chinese people! Only through their shifty eyes can he achieve true martial prowess. Traveling to the ancient temple of Hjung-Lu, the Mercenary Pointman endures hard trials in the several months under Hjung-Lu's lecture. Apparently 'several months' means a single turn, as he is ready to return to combat before the update is even over. "Thank you, master. Now, through your pure chinese heritage, I can finally inherit the holy powers of ass-kicking!" "Actually, I'm only half chinese. My mother was chinese, but my father french." Half chinese, half french. Half french. [I]French.[/I] Poor Pointman. In his eyes, not only was his 'master' not a true chinese, but was the son of a coward always waving the white flag. Pointman is stunned by this revelation, and goes to the bar for a single drink. Or two. Or five. Well, he doesn't like it, but he is at least a little more talented. [I](Has a new bonus of +25% damage with all unarmed attacks, but using it makes him feel ashamed of himself.)[/I] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ For all commands excepted informed otherwise; no demons, with the exception of the Lesser Demon of Sloth, are affected by sloth. The demons' names have been shorted down to acronyms. -Enemy Commands- [/B] Lesser Demon of Pride: Who are these bugs? Do they truly believe they can defeat us with fireworks? I will show them our power! [B]Roll: 2. Severe failure. These delusional bugs truly believe they can burn the flesh of demons with something as weak as lasers? You are powerful. They are not. And you will show them. Charging forward and taking out your powerful sword that is known in hell only as the only thing eternal. It is the best tool in a battle. Nothing can defeat you. That man of rage... not even he can stand against you. You take the sword and put your unlimited power in a single cleave. And yet, the man takes a crude axe and blocks it. An axe! How foolish, he is dea- The sword is broken, in fact, your arm is severly wounded as well, too. This is... no, you expect everything. That sword must have been a copy, and the damage to your arm must be superficial. Nothing can stand against you! Nothing, not a brute, nor a god! You are all, you are power itself! [I](800 damage to LDoP)[/I][/B] Lesser Demon of Rage: STAY OUT OF MY WAY! [B]Roll: 1. Critical failure. Overcome with rage at the sight of the new obstacles in humanoid form, LDoR lifts his swords in the air and charges against a particularly offending enemy; a horse. When bringing down his swords, something very unexpected happens. As the blades enter the horses mind, a currently running piece of code accepts the blades as thoughts. This completes the task that the horse has been given; to state what he thinks. An electrical jolt storms out the blades and shocks the LDoR to his near death. With him slumping down to the ground, the horse, in stark contrast, stands up on his legs, and finally answers his own question. "How to write like a professional food? Swords." [I](Horse is back. LDoR lies at 200 health.)[/I][/B] Lesser Demon of Greed: Take back your Halo 3 from Zarjk! [B]Roll: 8. Success! Do mere MORTALS think they can take something from you? They barely have any money? How can anything less than a millionaire believe he can deserve what you own? They can't! Neither can anybody else! EVERYTHING belongs to you, there is no exceptions to that, none! LDoG attack Zarjk in anger, punching him in the face and swiftly taking back his Halo 3 before Master Chief can react. Another victory for the (lesser) emobodiment of greed! [I](700 damage to Zarjk. Stole his copy of Halo 3!)[/I][/B] Lesser Demon of Sloth: That... horse seems practical... use it as a mount in order to avoid walking. [B]Roll: 6 - 1 = 5 (Sloth). Why? I mean, that will take effort, simply talking to whateveritscalled exhausts you. You don't really care about some horse. You simply want to sleep.[/B] Lesser Demon of Envy: Who do these people think they are? They break into hell and steal our shit - how are they able to DO that? Dammit, make these things fair![B] Roll: 4. Minor failure. Nah. All is fair under the dice. And because this is a four, I'll simply make you punch yourself in the face. Have a good one! (100 damage to LDoE.) [/B] Lesser Demon of Lust: Well aren't these some... exotic people. Perhaps I would like to know more about them.[B] Roll: 7. LDoL becomes interested in the varied qualities of her new enemies, and uses her seductive abilities in order to find out more about several team members. LDoL now knows how to properly combat some of the team. (+1 to all rolls against Sunny Dei, Zake and Billy Maize.)[/B] Lesser Demon of Gluttony: I always wondered how Polar bear would taste... Give me just a little bite![B] Roll: 5. Neutral. LDoG is obviously enticed by the large selection of his menu, but one piece stand out in particular; a sad polar bear. Tempted by the unknown taste, the glutton runs to the polar bear in order to eat it. But, at the very last second, the polar bear looks up with its miserable eyes, and LDoG, even with his unsatisfiable demand for food, hesitates long enough for the polar bear to run away. When the demon realizes his mistake he becomes very upset.[/B] Lord of Sins: That Apache causes problem for your flock. Attack it at once and heal the wounded![B] Roll: 6. Minor success. Realizing the problems at hand, the lord of sins uses his demonic powers to let out a spark of energy towards the Apache. But with his lack of skill in the area of actually casting harmful magic, the bolt only fizzles away a small part of the hull. Admitting defeat, you go back and heal the fallen. [I](100 damage to the Apache.)[/I][/B] Lord of Undead: My horde cannot attack in its condition. Boost its healing this round.[B] Roll: 7. Success. Seeing the damage done to the Horde of Undead, you instead put your resources in boosting its healing this round. With your focus solely devoted to healing the horde, their strength will be bolstered more than usual.[I] (250 additional healing to the Horde of Undead.)[/I] [/B] Horde of Undead: Surround the area in preparation for a giant attack.[B] Roll: 4. The horde, growing restless but still aware of the danger, begins to move out in preperation for an attack, instead of instantly charging. But even that annoys the Lord of Undead, as he needs them to stay put and wait for his healing to commence. A member of the horde protests against this, but when his head flies off less people are that eager to complain. [I](100 damage to the Horde of Undead.)[/I][/B] Hellfire King: WE ARE HERE TO KILL. TO MURDER AND HOLY SHIT IS THAT AN AGENT.[B] Roll: 0. The king didn't really state his command, so yeah. But yes, that's an agent.[/B] Geodude: Attack Zake, the asshole with stupid puns![B] Roll: 7 - 1 = 6 (sloth). Angry about his missing jaw and Zake's horrible punch, the Geodude completes his punch and makes Zake yelp in pain. The punch lacks the usual... well, punch that the Geodude is used to, and Zake only seems to have suffered minor damage.[I] (100 damage to Zake.)[/I][/B] [B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Third-party Commands- [/B] Agent 9: HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE DEMONS? SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM ALL! [B]Roll: 8 - 1 = 7 (Sloth). Holy shit, they found you. THEY FOUND YOU. This is bad, this is bad! In panic, Agent 9 picks up his sidearm and once again enters the battlefield, but with a different target; He shoots randomly att the demons. His volley of bullets manages to hit the Lesser Demon of Sloth. Finally, some Neutral guy does something.[I] (500 damage to LDoS.)[/I][/B] [B] "Are those-" "Yes. We need to flee this instant. We knew that it would only be a matter of time." "And Agent 3? Or 9 for that matte-" "Agent 3 is deceased, and as for agent 9, well, he is indeed a liability. But with the current situation, we do not have more than a single choice. Inform the others, we will relocate to the hidden subdimension." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Allies- [/B] Team Anderson: Mr. Anderson: 1,500/2,000 Enderdragon: 2,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) (Wings!) Grey Knight: 1,900/2,000 Team Billy: Billy Maize: 1100/2,000 (Heavy Pistol) (Semi-auto Assault Rifle) Polar Bear: 100/2000 Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (Electric GuiBard acquired!(Positive Rolls grant team +1 to rolls during turn. Negative rolls result in -1)) Team Chaos bull: Chaosbull: 1,250/2,000 Bag of Cookie: 2,000/2,000 (Sweetness: +1 to rolls intended to heal people.) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 0/2,000 (dark powers) (DEAD.) Horse ebooks: 2,000/2,000 (Twitter-based spambot of random nature - posts tweets as commands.)(Spooked!(0/1)) Cucco: 800/1,000 (Will deal 2000 damage to killer) (Cucco rage perk: gets +1 to rolls if damaged the previous turn.) Team Cookie: Cookie53: DEAD! Team Destroyer Mr.Destroyer: 1,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 700/2,000)(Ghost Stompers) Terry Fitzgerald: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. Charged.) Turd Fergison: 1,500/1,500 (Rocket launcher: Deals a certain 1000 damage when used!) (Teleporter: Can be used to be transported anywhere instantly. Can be integrated into commands for a +1 bonus. Has a two turn cooldown. Charged.) Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,000/2,000 (4 leaf clover) Wizard: 2,000/2,000 (Lucky M1911: +1 on roll when weapon is used) Team Face: Mr. Face: 1/2,000 (Can of anti-rust spray.) (Bozar:+2 to rolls involving shooting someone/thing with Bozar.) (Currently protected by the Horde of allies.) (Shelter: if inside shelter, -1 to attack rolls, and enemy suffer -2 to attacks toward Mr. Face.) Horde of allies: 2000/3000 (Rusty M4A1s.) (Binoculars) Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 2,000/2,000 (Magic mirror - can swap buff/debuffs and health between two targets. Must be 8 - 10 to succeed, but can also be used at half power, in which 6 - 10 succeeds. Can be used five times before having to cool down for two turns: 4/5 uses.) (Forcefield! 350/350) Blackula: 1,350/2,000 (Vampire - Blackula is healed half of the damage he causes if his commands include feeding.) Deadpool: 2,000/2,000 Team Firearms: Firearms136 (aka dagger): 700/2,200 (Disarmed Bag: +1 to rolls)(Master Espionage Perk)(Ice Gun)(Manly as fuck perk: Enemies get -1 on roll when attacking Dagger) (Protected by Dawson.) Dawson: 1,500/2,000 (Loyalty perk - can't betray his team and gains +1 on rolls assisting or cooperating with other teammates/allies.) (Shielding Dagger) Homer: 1,500/2,000 (Gluttony: All healing items in the form of edible foods and beverages replenish 50% more health.) (Limbs of blackula) Cortez: 1,400/2,000 (Spectral Gun(3x Against Ghosts)(Useless against Living things)) Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 0/2,000 (Non-Combatant) Juggernougat: 1,600/2,000 (Mudderfuckin Kanabos) Scald: 2,000/2,000 Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Insanity: InsanitysBitch: 2,400/2,500 (Box of Almonds) Team Ian: Ian: 1,700/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) (Minor egotism perk: Heals Ian when he makes a killing blow; 1/4 of the damage dealt heals him. Can be upgraded by further healing.) (Stuck in hell!) (Weakened Sandwich of Gods.) Team Jarrod: Jarrod: 1,400/2,000 (Fixed Bike, Shipping Manifest, Stats Sheet) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 1,600/2,000 (Swagnum)(Armor(1,500/1,500))(Arm Blaster) (New reliable) Crate of Supplies: 3/5 Medkits (Instantly restore 500 hp), 5/5 Repair parts (Same as medkits, but only works for robots.). Crate of Weapons: Weapons: 2/3. When using a weapon-get command, your roll goes up by 1 and the lowest roll you can get is 3. Bad rolls do not use up weapons. Team Nobody: Justnobody: 2,200/2,200 (The Power of Plates) Team Nyan: Nyan Squirrel: 1,900/2,000 Matt Damon: 1,200/2,000 Team Nomad: PrivateNomad: 2,000/2,000 (Portal Gun) Team Ragnarok Lord Ragnarok: 1,200/2,000 (Justice) Team Samiam: Samiam22: 1,900/2,000 Team Smas: Smas: 840/2,000 (Sword of Anti-Dead(2x Damage vs Undead)(x.5 Damage to other Undead upon Undead Kill)) (Bursting into Treats) Tony Stark: 2,000/2,000 (Mark MCCCXXXVII Iron Man: 1,000/1,000) Team Sunny: Sunny Dei: 2,000/2,000 (Flaming Battle Axe(Does Fire Damage Yo))(Ghost Stompers(Can strike undead)) (Chainaxe) (Batshit insane.) DuffleBag: 450/2,000 (Bolter) (Chainaxe) (Epic surgical skills) Apache: 4,900/5,000 (Gatling Laser) (Drones 10/10) That Team: That Ninja: 1,500/2,000 Team Trounark: Trounark: 2,000/2,000 (Dual Pistols) Team Samppa: Samppa: 900/2,000 (Missing Detonator) (universal remote) (Vibrator in ass: -1 on rolls)) Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,500/3,500 (Super Viking Powers) (Hero’s Axe(Rolls of 10 Instant Kill)(Ignore Defense Buffs)) Team Zake: Zakedodead: 1,350/2,200 (Lost the Generic Holy Sword(Does Holy Damage Yo/1.5x Damage to Undead))(2x Plot Coupons) Merc Point-man: 2,000/2,000 (THE BEST CROSSBOW IN THE WORLD) (Bonus of +25% damage with all unarmed attacks, but using it makes him feel ashamed of himself.) Team Zarjk: Zarjk: 1,300/2,000 (Angry Grandpa Minigun) (Power Armor; -1 to attacks against Zarjk, lasts 4 times. 4/4) [B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B][B] -Enemies-[/B] Lesser Demon of Pride: 1100/2,000 (Its successful hits give it +1 on rolls, the duration of which depending on the roll. This stacks.) Lesser Demon of Rage: 100/2,000 (Its successful rolls are boosted by one, while all failures are made worse by -1.) Lesser Demon of Greed: 2,000/2,000 (Players who fail attacks against it or are successfully attacked by it get their equipment stolen. Must be killed to get stuff stolen back.) (Has Zarjk Halo 3!) Lesser Demon of Sloth: 1,400/2,000 (All rolls for everything that can be reasonably affected by sloth are -1 until the demon is killed.) Lesser Demon of Envy: 1,800/2,000 (It uses the roll of the highest successful command against it -1 for all its commands. In the case that there aren't any successful rolls against it in an update it rolls like normal.) Lesser Demon of Lust: 1,900/2,000 (Attackers become slaves upon failures, and remain so until they successfully roll/are successfully rolled for freedom. All slaves are free when the Demon is killed) (+1 to all rolls against Sunny Dei, Zake and Billy Maize.) Lesser Demon of Gluttony: 1,400/2,000 (A successful attack recovers its health by the amount of damage inflicted.) Lord of Sins: 4,250/5,000 (Lesser Demons recover 400 health each turn, and are resurrected to 100 hp if dead. This ability is lost upon death.) Lord of Undead: 1,750/2,500 (Horde of undead gets +500 max health and recovers 250 health each turn, and is resurrected to 500/1000 if dead. This ability is lost upon death. Horde of undeath blocks all damage caused to Lord of Undead, unless dead or circumvented) Horde of Undead: 650/1,500 (Blocks damage to Lord of Undead unless dead or circumvented.) Hellfire King: 10,000/10,000 (Flying, Bitch! Also, Cremates foes when it kills them, requires more effective methods of lifesaving (And 8 or better on recovery rolls to be successful Still neutral on 5, 6, and 7) Geodude: 7,650/10,000 (It's a rock. It Doesn't break easily.) [B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -Neutral-[/B] The Grotesque: 3,800/4,000 Sheogorath: ???/??? (Immortal/Can't Be moved from Neutral Team)(Flying Chair) Agent 9: 9,850/10,000 [B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/B] There ARE flaws. I know there are, and in time, I will fix them. I am actually angry at myself for the mediocre job I've done, and the huge delay.
folc: Since Rage is almost dead, I steal the remains of his soul, and hijack his body (Note that the 'soul' and personality of most of the demons was what caused them to get buffs/debuffs) Also, anybody ever notice how death is one of the least significant things that can happen in this game, as long as you're creative? Juggernougat: Crack Pride's Skull in true one-upsmanship fashion. Scald: You never did get that uberminigun, did you? Well, retrieve it from the crate, and aerate some fucking demons. Also, envy actually takes the highest result amongst successful rolls used against them, and that minus one is his roll. If there were no successes, it takes its own roll. There is no debuff, in this case.
I once again attempt to recover my lucky shoes, and if it doesn't work this time I'm blatently cheating.
Zarjk decides that it would be a good idea to go and rest in bed, maybe regain some health.
Mr. Face: Dance in the shelter, you've got nothing better to do. Horde: Search out some enemies, also if possible spy on some babes, who doesn't like doing that?
Me and bad rolls. Nyan: Looks at his hands or what is left of them and tries to wrap body limb healer onto it with his teeth. Damon: Helps Nyan and tries to get Nyan's hands back with Limb healer stuff. All of the healing stuff was obtained by a left over care package when a nerd decided to play MW2 and called a care package.
I've conquered death, so shall I conquer insanity. I go to my happy place aka "Pyro Land" in order to snap out of my insanity Dufflebag: Escaping the cold grip of death, he charges the Lord of Sin with his Chain-axe Apache: Fire everything you got at the Lord of Sin
Well, so much for the bloody stimpack.
Anybody else feel like trying to Novelize the 3rd and 4th dungeons?
zake: murder the geodude Merc pointman: taunt lesser demon of rage.
Greetings and salutations, folks! I apologize for my lengthy hiatus, but I am finally back to kick some heads! Now then... IT'S SHOWTIME! ----------------------------------------------------- [IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DawsontheRiotOfficer2.jpg[/IMG] [B]Dawson:[/B] [SUB]"[I]Holy freaking abalone!![/I] I'm reliving one of my pork rind-induced nightmares! Dagger, you better stop messing around and start recovering!"[/SUB] While shielding his accomplice from certain danger, Dawson finally comes up with the bright idea of actually using firearms against his enemies. Without a second to spare he draws out an equipped python revolver from one of his gun holsters. "Let's see how much lead that so-called Lord of Sins can take before biting the dust," mutters Dawson while steadying the weapon's iron sights in the direction of the big palooka... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- [IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/DaggerTNED1.jpg[/IMG] [B]Dagger (aka White Spy):[/B] [SUB]"GASP! I'm working on patching myself up! Just give me a little more time, fellas!"[/SUB] Dagger continues to dig around in his briefcase for medicinal supplies that can be used to recover HP... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- [IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/CortezTNED1.jpg[/IMG] [B]Cortez:[/B] [SUB]"This might be rather unconventional to consider pulling off, but it's worth a shot!"[/SUB] Cortez catches a glimpse of an abandoned buggy (a two-person, compact vehicle that makes an appearance in TimeSplitters: Future Perfect) and decides to utilize it as a ramming sort of weapon. With a few adjustments and some duct tape, Cortez gases up the vehicle and floors it. Once he manages to reach a certain proximity away from the demons, Cortez makes an epic dive out of the driver seat. "It's time to split!" If the timing is just right, the blazingly fast buggy might be able to knock down a few of the monsters! ------------------------------------------------ [IMG]http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww343/Firearms_136/The%20Never-Ending%20Dungeon%20Icons/HomerNuts.jpg[/IMG] [B]Homer:[/B] [SUB]"Why you little...!" [/SUB] In a fit of rage, Homer clenches the Lord of Sin's scrawny neck with his bare hands and shakes him up and down.
Heh, my stepdad blew out the competition tonight. Huge ass cakes, and one made of 12 straight up mortars.
[QUOTE=folcrum_flyer;36630360]Heh, my stepdad blew out the competition tonight. Huge ass cakes, and one made of 12 straight up mortars.[/QUOTE] Don't remind me this is the first year I had no fireworks.
Can someone please update?
[QUOTE=folcrum_flyer;36637071]Can someone please update?[/QUOTE] I kind of want to but I'm not gm and I don't feel I could be a worthy writer.
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