• The Never Ending Dungeon V.5 - You slip on a banana peel and land face first on a landmine
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Heyo, can we get an update in the next two hours or so?
[b]=Commands=[/b] [b]Hidole555[/b] ------------- Attack: I sling the crossbow over my shoulder and throw a bolt like a javelin at Raider B. [b]Roll: 9. You throw that bolt like a fucking pro and it lands straight in Raider B's fucking STERNUM. -1,800 health to Raider B.[/b] [b]Ian[/b] ----- I use my outrageous Swag skill to summon up the UNBELIEVABLY SWAGTASTIC SWAGNUM, that was so CHEAPLY stolen from me last time. [b]Roll: 9. Your Swag skill pays off and grants you the Swag & Swaggson .50 Caliber SWAGNUM.[/b] [b]folcrum_flyer[/b] --------------- Scald: Reattach your hands through the inherent ability of proteans to graft muscle mass by sheer force of will (and tiny wormlike modifications of the ligaments.) [b]Roll: 3. Scald would reattach his hands, but he has a very important doctor's appointment for his eh, I can't really say. You wouldn't want to know. The only thing you need to know is that he can't reattach his hands right now. Oh god.[/b] Grotesque: Drink some hot cocoa to sooth your humility, and rip off raider b's limbs [b]Roll: 5. He COULD drink some hot cocoa if he hadn't traded all of his packets for 5 refined, so no hot cocoa this round.[/b] Me: Tell Mormon Jesus to GTFO so he doesn't end up murderfied for no good reason (Let's face it, he's not going to do much,) and pull the Zeus minigun from the trash for Scald, before using a man-portable-man-cannon to get back to the fourth field, which has been heavily altered into a biological research and testing facility by an army of protean drones. [b]Roll: 7. Mormon Jesus is pretty offended by your excuse of his abilities, but he understands he is a waste of space. +5 Speechcraft + Mormon Jesus leaves the dungeon. You get the Zeus Minigun for Scald, but he has no hands to equip it with, so until he gets hands, you must wield the Zeus Minigun. You take your MPMC to the fourth field and land safely, but those protean drones look pretty menacing...[/b] [b]Cookie53[/b] ------- Unleash the gauntlets powers on Cook-Cook. [b]Roll: 2. You run towards Cook-Cook and punch him in his jaw! Too bad you didn't read the label on the Gauntlets' packaging that stated: [i]Batteries Not Included[/i], so you just enrage Cook-Cook. Cook-Cook scorches your face! -500 health + Afterburn (-100 health per turn for 2 turns or until it is healed)[/b] [b]Bl1tzX[/b] ------- I adorn 15 Chinese coin necklaces to bring me good luck, fortune and all of that stuff. [b]Roll: 6. You put on 15 Chinese Coin Necklaces to bring you luck, raising your luck skill by +20! Unfortunately, these are pretty cheap necklaces, I mean you DID buy them at a carnival, ANYWAY, they will break one by one each time you are attacked, making your luck decrease! (+15 Lucky Necklaces)[/b] [b]xxfalconxx[/b] --------- "ow!" I say, grimacing in pain. I quickly call in for a medic companion to come heal me/join my side. [b]Roll: 5. Your voice echos far into the mountains of Austria, (Wait shit do they have mountains?..), but no one hears you![/b] [b]That Ninja[/b] ---------- I use my monocle to materialize $1,000,000,000 worth of gold (a miniscule fraction of my wealth), and tele-monoco-pathically send it into the sun, so that it may melt and and hurtle down as a ball of molten death. (Not an instantaneous attack. Charges. Loadsa edamage!) [b]Roll: 4. Wow this is kind of embarassing. Your monocle isn't a magical monocle at all, in fact it isn't even made out of real gold! AND it's not even prescription. Well on the bright side it MIGHT be magical and just malfunctioning.[/b] [b]Combiner8761[/b] ------------ With my healing powers I shoot a blast at Magmacow. Despite his questionable actions, he is still our teammate. [b]Roll: 8. You blast your magical rinky-dink [i]healing powers[/i] at Magmacow, healing him by 1,500 health![/b] [b]Mr Anderson[/b] --------------- Enderdragon: Fly around doing flips and shit. [b]Roll: 2. Sour life for you, looks like Minecraft crashed and the Enderdragon is taking a smoke break right now.[/b] [b]Samppa[/b] ----------- A bolt of thunder strikes forth into the depths of the dungeon from a crack in the ceiling, giving birth to Axebeard Thundernipples, a red-haired viking of the northern realms! [b]Roll: 10! CRITICAL ROLL. A powerful and frightening shard of pure lightening falls from the skies and pierces the Dungeon's ceiling at such force that it summons forth a Viking with the strength of 1,000,000 men! What is this brave viking's name? Eh... I'd rather not say, it ruins the atmosphere. +Axebeard Thundernipples Companion+[/b] [b]Magmacow358[/b] ----------- I send my fist through my computer screen and I punch the random number genorator in the code in an attempt to heal myself and get my Swagnum, Fire staff and Armor back. [b]Roll: 5. You punch the computer screen at such velocity that it... Breaks your monitor. What did you expect was going to happen?[/b] [b]Firearms 136[/b] --------- [highlight][i]OPERATION METEORITE: A 3 PART PLAN TO HOME![/i][/highlight] Step 1: Dawson will attempt to locate an asteroid of relatively decent size and mass. If an ideal chunk of debris is to be found, he'll try to ground himself onto the rock. [b]Roll: 4. Dawson does not find an asteroid! He will continue to float on in space until he can activate his 3 step scheme to get back to Earth. (Once Step 1 is rolled with a +5 or above, it will initiate a 3 phase activity that both makes Dawson unavailable, but will make him arrive into the dungeon within 3 turns.)[/b] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [highlight]OH SHIT A CHALLENGER APPEARS[/highlight] It's a [b]MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON![/b] [img]http://popcultureplaypen.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/dragon1.jpg[/img] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [B]-Allies-[/B] Team Anderson: Mr.anderson: 2,000/2,000 Enderdragon: 4,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (15 Lucky Necklaces) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 2,000/2,000 (Power Harvester Cannon(Healing)) Team Cookie: Cookie53: 2,000/2,500 (Glove) (Afterburn: 1/2 turns) Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,500/2,000 Team Egbert: John Egbert: 2,000/2,000 Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000 Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000 Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 1,000/2,000 (Magic mirror: Clogged 2/4 turns) Team Firearms: Firearms136: 2,000/2,000 Dawson: ARRIVING IN 3 TURNS ONCE STEP 1 IS INITIATED Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 2,000/2,000 (Zeus Minigun) The Grotesque: 3,200/4,000 Scald: 2,000/4,000 (HANDLESS) Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Ian: Ian: 2,000/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 2,000/2,000 (Arm Blaster) Team Mr.Destroy Mr.Destroyer: 2,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 1,900/2,000) Samiam22: 2,000/2,000 Smas: 2,500/2,500 Tony Stark: 1,000/2,000 (Powersuit: 0,000/1,000) That Team: That Ninja: 1,700/2,500 Team Samppa: Samppa: 2,000/2,000 Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,000/3,000 (Super Viking Powers) [B]-Enemy Statistics-[/B] [B]MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON[/b]: 20,000/20,000 Cook-cook: 6,000/6,000 (Flamethrower) Raider B: 100/2,000 (Crippled) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Boom.
[QUOTE=Te Adoro;34660518]*Commands*[/QUOTE] You forgot mine... [URL="http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1160588?p=34628255&viewfull=1#post34628255"]Post #66[/URL] - it involves a bloody riot officer helplessly hurtling outwards into space.
I attempt to use some soothing eyedrops on my eyes to heal the damage done.
[QUOTE=Firearms 136;34660560]You forgot mine... [URL="http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1160588?p=34628255&viewfull=1#post34628255"]Post #66[/URL] - it involves a bloody riot officer helplessly hurtling outwards into space. Thaaaaaaanks.[/QUOTE] Sorry, it was so lustrous and special that I thought it was some kind of mini update. I'll add it in right now.
Doubting my fancy powers, I decide to go old school and bite Cook-Cook in half.
[QUOTE=Te Adoro;34660819]Sorry, it was so lustrous and special that I thought it was some kind of mini update. I'll add it in right now.[/QUOTE] Hey it's alright; mistakes happen. Usually I make my posts somewhat intricate - maybe they're too much so from time to time, in my opinion.
Done and done.
Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (15 Lucky Necklaces) I sweep the ground with a metal detector to see what unearthly contraptions I can find.
I Jump kick Cook-cook and With the force of a thousand suns, kick him.
I decide to look at the dragon. And grin. I create a face so monstrous, so misaligned and horrid, that anyone, anything, would scream in terror. See avatar for reference.
[B]Dagger (aka White Spy):[/B] Dawson continues to search for a suitable asteroid to land on.
You forgot my command, so is it going to be incorperated into the next update or something? :v: (Dont worry about it though, like firearms said, we all make mistakes) I go in search of stimpacks, becuase stimpacks are just amazing
Oh hey, it looks like I forgot to post a command. [sp]But thanks Te Adoro for the update ;P[/sp] Commands: Smas: Punch the Raider in the face, hopefully killing him in the process. Tony Stark: Use your power suit to punch some holes into the [B]Motherfucking Dragon.[/B]
Quick question, Combiner, How are my actions "Questionable"? I laugh at Ian's cheaply made store-bought swagnum before AGAIN attempting to recover my Fire staff, Armor, and Swagnum.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;34669841]Quick question, Combiner, How are my actions "Questionable"? I laugh at Ian's cheaply made store-bought swagnum before AGAIN attempting to recover my Fire staff, Armor, and Swagnum.[/QUOTE] Well, you tried to retrieve something swag-related without first asking the KING OF SWAG. It's only a little joke, don't take too much offense to it. I apologize anyway.
Yes! Perfect start. Me: Toss a large stone at the dragon. Axebeard Thundernipples: Begin charging electrical nipples using ancient chants. (Adds a one-time use weapon called nipple shock.) Nipple shock: +3x damage due to super viking powers -Wears Thundernipples out (-1 to roll following the usage of the weapon)
I will be posting an update sometime tomorrow.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;34685743]I will be posting an update sometime tomorrow.[/QUOTE] Tis been over a day sir, how has your progress been so far?
[QUOTE=Smas;34711618]Tis been over a day sir, how has your progress been so far?[/QUOTE] I had shit to do yesterday, im starting on the update right now.
I shoot that fucking dragon in the mouth with my Swagnum.
[B]-Ally commands-[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ xxFalconxx: I attempt to use some soothing eyedrops on my eyes to heal the damage done. [B]Roll: 4. Minor failure. While applying the eyedrops, you accidentally poke yourself in the eye with the dropper. After a short spree of cussing like a trucker, it would seem as if you only took 100 damage.[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That ninja: Doubting my fancy powers, I decide to go old school and bite Cook-Cook in half. [B]Roll: 1. CRITICAL FAILURE! You begin to feel doubt in your fanciness, so you sneak up behind cook-cook and get in position to chomp him in two. However, your fancy powers feel neglected and abused because of this, and as such they turn on you. Your top had appears in front of you with a M60 and then opens fire, filling you with plenty of OLD SCHOOL lead. You fall to the ground and let out one last sigh before your heart stops. (YOU ARE DEAD!) [/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bl1tzX: I sweep the ground with a metal detector to see what unearthly contraptions I can find. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL! You pull out a metal detector and begin sweeping the area, hoping to find something of value. The metal detector goes off, but it starts beeping in an unusual pattern, increasing in speed before the decide explodes. You grab a shovel and start digging, not knowing what to expect. It doesn't take long before you hit a large wooden box in the ground. You pull it out, and slowly open it to find something truly amazing. The strange weapon glimmers in the sunlight as you stare in awe. You reach down and pick it up, finding that its pretty heavy. It would seem to be some sort of energy weapon, presumably it fires electricity. Out of curiousity, you pull what you believe to be the trigger on the weapon, causing a flash of lightning and a bang much akin to that of thunder. You laugh deviously at the display of charred and burning grass and trees before you, as it would seem as if you have a lightning cannon. Lightning cannon: >A strange, alien weapon of unknown origin. Fire concentrated bursts of lightning. +2X Damage +Rolling a 9 or 10 will result in the target being set on fire +Can be charged, each turn spent charging adds a .5 multiplier to the damage up to 4X damage. -Two turn recharge time between usage -2x Backfire damage, and if a 2 or a 1 is rolled when trying to use a charged attack, the damage multiplier will be used against you. [/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cookie53: I Jump kick Cook-cook and With the force of a thousand suns, kick him. [B]Roll: 1. CRITICAL FAILURE! You notice that Cook-cook is currently not paying attention, so you decide to jump kick him with all your might. You start running at remarkable speeds, going faster and faster until its time to jump. But, just as you are jumping your knees rip apart due to all the stress on them. You are just to cry out in pain when you slam into Cook-cook's flamer gas tank going over 100MPH. The blast finishes you off and annihilates Cook-cook, sending limbs and giblets flying in all directions. (Unintentionally suicide bombed Cook-cook) [/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Combiner8761: I decide to look at the dragon. And grin. I create a face so monstrous, so misaligned and horrid, that anyone, anything, would scream in terror. See avatar for reference. [B]Roll: 7. Success. You cock your head to the side and slowly form a horrifying grin, mangling your face to such a degree that the dragon is left paralyzed in fear. The dragon receives severe emotional trauma and decides to sleep with a shotgun beside its bed for the next turn. (500 damage to the Dragon, Unable to move)[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Firearms136: Dawson continues to search for a suitable asteroid to land on. [B]Roll: 8. Success. Dawson looks around in space, thankful that somehow he can still breathe and that his head hasn't exploded yet. He spots an asteroid heading towards the random un-named planet that we are all fighting on. According to his calculations, the asteroid should pass so close to Dawson that he should be able to just reach out and grab it. Dawson mounts onto the asteroid and starts to surf it back to the battlefield like a boss. (Dawson will arrive in three turns)[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mr.anderson: I go in search of stimpacks, because stimpacks are just amazing [B]Roll: 3. Failure. While exploring an old abandoned military facility, you happen to find a dumpster filled with what you believe to be stimpacks. You let out a cheer and dive in, expecting to be healed to full health before taking the shitton of medical supplies home. To your demise, however, you find that these stimpacks where old, used and rusty. Ouch. (500 damage to you)[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Smas' Team: Smas: Punch the Raider in the face, hopefully killing him in the process. [B]Roll: 2. Failure. You pull your fist back and prepare to punch the Raider in the face, but you are instead greeted with: "Life.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close". You go into a fit of rage, receiving severe brain damage due to the sheer level of how pissed off you are. (1000 damage to you)[/B] Tony Stark: Use your power suit to punch some holes into the Motherfucking Dragon. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL! Tony fires up the thrusters on his suit and takes to the skies. He breaks the sound barrier before flying straight through the dragons middlesections, creating a gaping hole. Tony then circles around and flies through the dragons head and then his neck. The dragon passes out due to blood loss and crying too much. (2,000 damage Motherfucking Dragon, Passed out 0/3 turns)[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Magmacow358: I laugh at Ian's cheaply made store-bought swagnum before AGAIN attempting to recover my Fire staff, Armor, and Swagnum. [B]Roll: 10. CRITICAL! You head out to find your stuff after laughing at Ian's pathetic made-in-china swagnum. You google search the V4 thread instead of using the link this time, because you are cool like that. Your search is successful and you find yourself in the final moments of the battle with the minecraftian mob army. You find your past self and knock him out before recovering all your items and returning back to the present, just before the thread is closed. You equip all your weapons and slip your armor back on, which seems to have given you a maxhp boost. (500 Maxhp boost, added Custom Armor, Swagnum and Fire Staff.)[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Samppa's team: Samppa: Toss a large stone at the dragon. [B]Roll: 5. Neutral. You don't feel like any heavy lifting right now.[/B] Axebeard Thundernipples: Begin charging electrical nipples using ancient chants. (Adds a one-time use weapon called nipple shock.) [B]Roll: 5. Neutral again. Your lazyness infects Axebeard, causing him to not want to charge his nipples.[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ian: I shoot that fucking dragon in the mouth with my Swagnum. [B]Roll: 4. Minor Failure. You pull our your replica Swagnum and take aim at the Dragon. You try to fire it with one hand, but you miss and the recoil sends the gun flying backwards into your face, breaking your nose. This sends Magmacow358 into another fit of laughter. (100 damage to you)[/B] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [B]All the enemies are dead or stunned.[/B] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Allies- Team Anderson: Mr.anderson: 1,500/2,000 Enderdragon: 4,000/4,000 (Immune to Fire) Team Bl1tz: Bl1tzX: 2,000/2,000 (15 Lucky Necklaces)(Lightning Cannon) Team Combiner: Combiner8761: 2,000/2,000 (Power Harvester Cannon(Healing)) Team Cookie: Cookie53: [B]DEAD![/B] Team Drasar: Drasarsalman: 1,500/2,000 Team Egbert: John Egbert: 2,000/2,000 Jade Harley: 2,000/2,000 Rose Lalonde: 2,000/2,000 Team Falcon xxFalconxx: 800/2,000 (Magic mirror: Clogged 3/4 turns) Team Firearms: Firearms136: 2,000/2,000 Dawson: Arriving 0/3 Team Folcrum Folcrum_flyer: 2,000/2,000 (Zeus Minigun) The Grotesque: 3,200/4,000 Scald: 2,000/4,000 (HANDLESS) Team Hidole: Hidole555: 2,100/2,200 Team Ian: Ian: 1,900/2,000 (Swagtastic Perk) (Quasar Crown) (Swagnum) Team Magma: Magmacow358: 2,500/2,500 (Custom Armor: 1,500/1,500 (Absorbs physical and energy based damage up to 500 damage. Any more than that will be reduced by 50%))(Arm Blaster)(Fire-staff)(Swagnum) Team Mr.Destroy Mr.Destroyer: 2,000/2,000 (SPESS MARINE Suit: 1,900/2,000) Samiam22: 2,000/2,000 Smas: 1,500/2,500 Tony Stark: 1,000/2,000 (Powersuit: 0,000/1,000) That Team: That Ninja: [B]DEAD![/B] Team Samppa: Samppa: 2,000/2,000 Axebeard Thundernipples: 3,000/3,000 (Super Viking Powers) [B]-Enemies-[/B] MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON: 17,500/20,000 (Passed out 0/4 turns) Raider B: 100/2,000 (Crippled) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tell me if i missed anything/ made an error.
Alright, thanks for getting that out. Commands: Smas: Attempt to revive That Ninja and Cookie53 through the power of white magic. Tony Stark: Attempt to regenerate suit power.
I attempt to modify the magic mirror to add a new ability: Health swapping! (as a seperate command, 8-10 succeeds)
COMMAND CHANGE!: I attempt to disarm Ian before kicking him in the balls and reporting his traitorous acts to the rest of the FP crew.
I shoot Magmacow in the kneecaps. Tired a' that dude.
[QUOTE=Magmacow358;34717105] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [B]All the enemies are dead or stunned.[/B] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/QUOTE] Guys. We're fucking [i]awesome.[/i] Before I ditch my healing powers, I fire a strong blast at That Ninja, hoping to revive him.
[B]Dagger (aka White Spy):[/B] Dagger opens up his briefcase (you know, the one that stores ungodly amounts of shit?) and takes out a spy manual. Looking under the [I]Special Abilities[/I] section (p.351 to be precise), our hero attempts to learn a potentially useful battle tactic. What is this ability you might ask? Well, allow me to elaborate on that... [release][B][highlight]Espionage![/highlight][/B] [B]Description:[/B] A special skill that can reveal a target's secrets, and potentially grant the user an upper-hand against it. [B]Effects:[/B] [b](1)[/B] The user is capable of revealing a [I]single[/I] weakness of a particular target. ___ [B](a)[/B] Depending on how well the spying tactic goes, its effectiveness may vary: [QUOTE][b](Command roll of 7)[/b] -=> Collected intel is scant - the target's weakness is only minor. ___ [B](1)[/B] Exploiting the weakness raises damage to [B]125%[/B]. [b](Command roll of 8)[/b] -=> A decent ammount of intel has been picked up - attacks against the target's weakness may inflict a good number on it. ___ [B](1)[/B] Exploiting the weakness raises damage to [B]150%[/B]. [b](Command roll of 9)[/b] -=> Sufficient ammounts of intel collected - taking advantage of the target's weakness may be highly effective. ___ [B](1)[/B] Exploiting the weakness raises damage to [B]200%[/B]. [b](Command roll of 10)[/b] -=> A complete backround check has been performed on the target - it possess a weakness that, when exploited, can be crippling. ___ [B](1)[/B] Exploiting the weakness raises damage to [B]250%[/B].[/QUOTE] [b](3)[/B] Command rolls of [B][highlight]6[/highlight][/B] are neutral. [B](4)[/B] Upon a successful [I]Espionage![/I] sequence, the user must wait for a period of [B][highlight]6 rounds[/highlight][/B] before the ability can be executed again.[/release]
Once again, I call on the imperium to deliver a grey knight squad. Enderdragon: Have a dragon-off with the MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON to determane wich dragon is better.
Samppa: Rig a remote-triggered explosive device around the neck of the MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON. Axebeard Thundernipples: Take a deep breath and attempt to charge your nipples again. (Adds 1 nipple charge.)
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