Smile at people you don't know, even if you think you look like a creep.
Hold your farts in around people, unless you want to accidentally shit yourself and smell like a public restroom in a Mexican restaurant.
Sources: Experience
Always sprinkle when you dinkle
Use music interests as a conversation starter. With decent people, this should work nine times out of ten. And hey, you may find something you have in common.
Also don't listen to advice people on Facepunch give you
[QUOTE=Riller;39040228]To be successful, you should not be more like yourself. You should be like me.[/QUOTE]
don't believe in yourself, believe in the Riller that believes in you!
Keep a few beer glasses in the freezer. Drinking cold beer from a frosty glass is a pleasant experience. Also works for sodas and other cold drinks.
trust no advice you get off of the internet
Putting your dick into an electricity output won't hurt you. But fucking it enough it will be your greatest orgasm of all time, and your last.
When you're going to say something, think about it and then say it. If it makes you look like a dick, then don't say it
Don't go out of your way to start arguments/don't stick your nose in other people's arguments. It only makes you look like a twat.
Try to put other people's needs infront of yourself, it'll pay off in the long run.
Set yourself a long term goal, and work your ass off to reach it
Always remember: [I]holla holla, get $dolla$[/I]
All ways ask a girl if she has to pee before intercourse. I once asked if she needed to pee cause I needed an excuse to pee my self. She told me between mouthfuls of penis that she had to go really badly and I should follow her to the bathroom. I just thought she needed help with the light switch in there because I broke it a new nights beforehand while trying to swat a fly with one of those electric bug swatters. So I lead her to the bathroom dodging my parents who were in the living room watching some soap opera and fighting. Before I could even put on the rubber gloves so I can twist the light switch's wires together without getting shocked she pulls down my pants and demands I put my penis into her or else she'll scream. I already got in trouble with my parents before for not changing the toilet roll after I used the toilet and I couldn't afford to have my internet switched off again, so I obliged. I bend her over the sink and sink it in a few times and she's loving it and I can feel that she's really wet, surprisingly wet. THIS BITCH STARTED TO PEE!
Long story short. I got in trouble again and I had to clean up the bathroom.
[QUOTE=3com111;39074625]All ways ask a girl if she has to pee before intercourse. I once asked if she needed to pee cause I needed an excuse to pee my self. She told me between mouthfuls of penis that she had to go really badly and I should follow her to the bathroom. I just thought she needed help with the light switch in there because I broke it a new nights beforehand while trying to swat a fly with one of those electric bug swatters. So I lead her to the bathroom dodging my parents who were in the living room watching some soap opera and fighting. Before I could even put on the rubber gloves so I can twist the light switch's wires together without getting shocked she pulls down my pants and demands I put my penis into her or else she'll scream. I already got in trouble with my parents before for not changing the toilet roll after I used the toilet and I couldn't afford to have my internet switched off again, so I obliged. I bend her over the sink and sink it in a few times and she's loving it and I can feel that she's really wet, surprisingly wet. THIS BITCH STARTED TO PEE!
Long story short. I got in trouble again and I had to clean up the bathroom.[/QUOTE]
To get a better orgasm, pee after sex. Save your pee inside of your bladder. The longer you wait to pee, the bigger your bladder gets. The bladder will rub against your manly-bits that are inside of you, and create arousal. This helps to urinate later since more blood is going to the little fleshy thing, creating a clear and straight path for exit. But don't pee!
The secret is not to pee during or before sex, but afterwards. It'll also help clean everything inside of you, moving all the gross white sticky stuff outside of your body. I personally don't like anything that a man can make inside my body, thank you!
So the longer the sex goes on without the white stuff coming out, then the urine will press up inside of you more and you will become more aroused.
Use this to entice woman.
Brain bleach recommended after browsing this thread. Dispose of body in acidic solution.
Don't throw stones at glass houses without proper protection.
That is all.
[media] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd3WLTEhp80 [/media]
Hold on loosely.
[QUOTE=amcfaggot;39038143]stop reading this thread, the advice is shit, and not even funny[/QUOTE]
• dont listen to my advice
• dont take anything too seriously on facepunch if the poster doesnt bother to use proper capitalization and punctuation, as its most likely a casual, sarcastic, or snarky post
  [SUB]°[/SUB] That being said, generally speaking, Facepunchers who make posts with proper formatting are probably trying to be genuine.
• for your entertainment, pay attention to my posts, i generally get rated over the curve compared to other posters because idk, i make shit posts or something
• Be the best person you can be, and if you can't; be better than the best person you can be. It may not seem like it makes feasible sense, but those around you will notice, and although infrequently, they will comment on it. It helps to try and be nice, and it pays off, but don't subject yourself to people who don't appreciate your efforts.
If you have a sick stomach/diarrhea, run your hands under extremely cold water.
Temporary relief.
Don't get an erection during a prostate exam, it doesn't look good. Specially if your the doctor.
Be respectful to yourself and others. Seriously. Treat people the way you'd want to be treated. It helps alot!
Dont stand-pee with the middle toilet lid down. Even how lucky you feel.
[QUOTE=mrx5001;39077268]Be respectful to yourself and others. Seriously. Treat people the way you'd want to be treated. It helps alot![/QUOTE]
I'll gladly treat the next Hitler nicely.
Or Westboro Baptist Church.
[editline]Halp[/editline]
[sp]Lolno[/sp]
Don't stick your dick in a jar of peanut butter. Trust me.
In [B]Oblivion, Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas [/B]and[B] Skyrim:[/B]
The fastest way to quit the game is to open the console (`) and type (qqq). Ever after Morrowind, qqq is the equivalent of typing quit or exit in many games. It'll end the game far faster than going through menus.
You can also type (save "savename") to save the file as anything you want, instead of stupid fucking things like save00001 and 12-11-06. :v:
Press A to jump.
dont play garrys mod
dont
Make a life for yourself before you try to make one for someone else. Do what is necessary. What's right is subjective, what's true is not.
My father said some really neat stuff.
[QUOTE=Black;39077356]Dont stand-pee with the middle toilet lid down. Even how lucky you feel.[/QUOTE]
I grew up in a house of females so I just learned how to aim, I never lift the middle seat now
Never lie to your girlfriend's parents.
people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.... or masturbate in the day time
Go towards the light.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
