[QUOTE=jbthekid;37916216]What about the white one with the nice ass?[/QUOTE]
Nice ass, flat chested, ugly face.
------------------
If you see your dates cleavage, look away Asap. Its a Trap she set up too test if you are looking at HER and not her twins.
chloroform is always the best way to pick up girls.
[QUOTE=sharoncat;37930555]chloroform is always the best way to pick up girls.[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure you will pick them up, but they will definitely fall for you.
sticking stimulants into the head of your penis will increase sexual performance tenfold
Heat the oven to 450 degrees, and makes sure you pull out.
Take a piece of bread put it in the slot of the toaster, push down the lever and the wires get hot. Make Toast.
If you ever see a gay swedish midget in a rather fashionable coat and top hat standing on the side of the road with his thumb up, for the love of god don't offer him a cheese and eggplant sandwich.
[SP]At least not on a Tuesday anyway.[/SP]
-Therapy is Expensive. Bubble Wrap is Cheap. You Choose.
-Respect women....they live and work in the kitchen...because of Knives are in there....pray she don't go insane.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
never "dangle" in front of a cabbie
Always wipe the toilet seat with toilet paper before your about to take a shit and make a little pile of the toilet paper in the bowl but don't flush.
That way the dirty water doesn't splash your ass when your dropping bombs and get your boxers wet after.
Shoot the sherrif
[QUOTE=HazeFyer23;37953974]Shoot the sherrif[/QUOTE]
Make doubly sure you do not shoot the deputy.
Never taunt after killing a spy.He might be using a dead ringer,and you will helplessly watch in 3rd peson view your character doing a taunt while the spy uncloaks behind you and backstabs you before the taunt is finished.
The best possible loadout in Team Fortress 2 for the soldier is Rocket Jumper, Gunboats and Disciplinary Action.
[QUOTE=NateDude;37954871]The best possible loadout in Team Fortress 2 for the soldier is Rocket Jumper, Gunboats and Disciplinary Action.[/QUOTE]
Wrong,
its Rocket jumper,gunboats and pain train.
Scavenge the seafloor for nutrients!
-Never Underestimate the Power of the Force
-If you are an evil villain bond to destroy or control the world...DONT explain your plan in detail going on for more then 20 min about it.
-Instead of making the time bomb going off at 0:00, set it up to blow at 0:02. Most heros stop the bomb at that time anyways.
[U]Horror Movie 101[/U]
-If a town looks deserted, there is probably a good reason why and an even more valid one for staying away.
-If a shotgun has no effect on the monster, don’t waste your time with the small handgun or the kitchen knife
-If you hear your loved one begging for help...ignore it, its the monster impersonating them.
Amputation cures anything and everything.
[QUOTE=st0rmforce;37958607]Amputation cures anything and everything.[/QUOTE]
Brain Cancer?
Anyways, [I]NEVER [B]EVER [U]EVER[/U][/B][/I] put that green shit you found in your basement on a dead body.
[QUOTE=Guy123;37958689]Brain Cancer?
Anyways, [I]NEVER [B]EVER [U]EVER[/U][/B][/I] put that green shit you found in your basement on a dead body.[/QUOTE]
You've got a few options there: You can amputate the tumour(s), parts of the brain, the entire brain, or the whole head.
Result: The patient no longer has brain cancer.
Never, and I really mean [B]never[/B], ever mix Cola with milk and drink it.
If you are going to be pulled over for DUI and you know your going to jail...have a little fun before so.
Be cold hearted, for you will become inured to the pain caused by fleeting tides of emotions.
Don't freely trust people, most of them are lying and deceitful. Even the seemingly nicest ones.
Beer before bong, you're doing it wrong
[QUOTE=tommyc225;37987511]Beer before bong, you're doing it wrong[/QUOTE]
beer before grass, you're on your ass
grass before beer, you're in the clear
" If he asks for something spicy during sex, rub a jalapeno on his dick "
Keep your wallet in a front pocket, makes it harder to steal and makes it more comfortable to sit.
Persimmons are better after the first frost, persimmons that are not completely ripe can be used to numb your mouth.
If you carry a knife learn to open it with one hand, using both hands.
Learn to identify jewel weed, it is a fast treatment for stinging nettle and poison ivy and normally grows near it.
