telling a girl how much she means to you and that you love her an--FUCK YOU BITCH GET ON YOUR KNEES. Actually makes girls like me. Fuck if I know why, I mean its hilarious but the fact that they arnt offended and that every time the response I get is something along the lines of "I love you" or "marry me" is fucking baffling.
If you want to know if a 9V battery is out of juice or not, lick it. The stronger the sour taste, the stronger the battery.
This also works for lemon batteries.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"
If you get the message, hang up the phone
[editline]17th October 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=imptastick;38008178]Opossums do not carry rabies, their body temp is too low. If a oppossum enters you house/tent/campsite/etc. most adult opossums can be scared into a fake death (Playing opossum) and then lifted by the tail. Hold it at arms length and relocate it.
If you need to trap a opossum for example if one has moved into your shed or is getting into your trash, a can of cat food or a few slices of deli meat will usually work as bait. Unlike raccoons the opossum will probably fall asleep in your trap so you may not hear it when approaching.
[IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/i1wjs5.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2vk0vw3.jpg[/IMG]
Once trapped feel free to taunt the animal before relocating it.[/QUOTE]
Are they edible?
[editline]17th October 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;38074643]telling a girl how much she means to you and that you love her an--FUCK YOU BITCH GET ON YOUR KNEES. Actually makes girls like me. Fuck if I know why, I mean its hilarious but the fact that they arnt offended and that every time the response I get is something along the lines of "I love you" or "marry me" is fucking baffling.[/QUOTE]
What is this post even trying to say
[QUOTE=Stormcharger;38075877]
Are they edible?
[/QUOTE]
Yes, but I have heard they do not taste very good, probably because they scavenge for food. In fact you will often find two dead opossum beside each other on the road because they get hit by cars while eating the other one that was hit by a car.
[url]http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-0,opossum,FF.html[/url]
I know that it's called a blowjob, but please, suck.
dogs are deathly allergic to grapes (seriously they'll die)
conversely, they're not as allergic to chocolate as is popularly thought
You have no chance to survive, make your time.
Acorns from a white oak are less bitter than those of a red oak.
While in a text box (or other area of textual input), pressing a letter key on the keyboard will result in that same letter that you pressed on the keyboard appearing in the text box on the screen of your computer connected to the keyboard that contains the letter key that your just pressed.
[QUOTE=Kaburorne;38078884]While in a text box (or other area of textual input), pressing a letter key on the keyboard will result in that same letter that you pressed on the keyboard appearing in the text box on the screen of your computer connected to the keyboard that contains the letter key that your just pressed.[/QUOTE]
Wrong. I press a long key with an arrow on it and I don't get an arrow, I lose a letter.
[QUOTE=Stonecycle;38078918]Wrong. I press a long key with an arrow on it and I don't get an arrow, I lose a letter.[/QUOTE]
arrow isn't a letter
The next time a girl asks you "<Your name here>, would you ever hit a girl?" Treat her to your most wolfish grin and reply "I don't know, is she into that kind of thing?"
Amusing reactions will ensue.
Remember, when all else fails: drop 'em.
A shit eating grin doesn't change the fact that you're eating shit.
try to not die
If people aren't taking you seriously, point a gun at them and raise your voice.
don't make lemonade
When in doubt, eat grass. Clears your mind and gives the Earth a haircut, it's a win-win.
Give away all of your possessions and live at one with nature.
[QUOTE=Antdawg;38086627]gives the Earth a haircut, [/QUOTE]
Unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere, then you are trimming earth's pubic hair.
No teeth on the meat log.
Wash your glasses like you wash your dishes.
Women can't resist a man who gets his dick out at every opportunity.
Careful if you're gonna read something posted by me.
You never when they're gonna end potato.
If your on fire, Go, Get up, and run
just remeber. no matter how bad things are. at least there's not any gaint tentacles tying to rape you. if there is, good luck.
Never think the lava in Super Mario World is lava you can dump Yoshi in, think it is magenta lasagna sauce he can eat all it wants.
He who sleeps with itchy butt.
Wakes up with stinky fingers.
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