[QUOTE=Cureless;39479492]You empty headed animal food trough wiper
I fart in your general direction
Your mother was a hamster
and your father smelt of elderberries!
[img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5csb2p6u81rw42h4o1_500.gif[/img][/QUOTE]
I actually used some Monty Python quotes today at school. He didn't enjoy it very much. I used some of the insults on here as well. He has backed away a little bit as I did throw in some threats as well. Thanks everyone. Some of these really made me laugh.
u avin a gaggle m8 smash ur fucken head in
I'd call you a cunt, but you lack the warmth and depth
I have the source of most posts in this thread right here.
[img] http://filesmelt.com/dl/6e68c7f140c8d5a345a0c9ffc775e8c6.jpg[/img]
"You're about as useful as Anne Frank's drum kit" is my favourite.
PUSSYFOOTED SANDNIGGER
I don't know, insults are usually brush-offable. What I did once (and I kind of regretted) but worked, was a good foot to the stomach. Just make sure nobody's watching and you can get away.
[sub][sub]not advocating fights or anything[/sub][/sub]
If you're gonna go with an insult, make it hit home aka something he's fond of
Go stick the business end of a sword in your urethra, you fuck-munching mouth-breather.
Just stand in place and yell One Step Closer's lyrics in their face
Your arse does more than your head!
You're gayer than a truck full of dicks sliding down a rainbow and crashing through the wall of an arsehole factory.
And from Community, "You're like god spilled a person."
I like calling people fumblefuck/tumblefuck for some reason. It could be paired with something to tell them to get the fuck out I guess.
Another favorite is "I'd call you a douchebag, but that implies you'd get anywhere near a vagina."
Assuming you know where he lives, or where he often goes do this:
Buy a box of condoms/birth control bottle or whatever, then slap a cleverly made label on it that says, "Used to stop *friend's name here*s."
Then place it somewhere he will find and read it.
You're the inspiration for birth control.
I'm surprised you don't have a condom on your face since you're such a dickhead.
You look like you tried to disarm a landmine with your face.
Insulting him isn't going to do anything. Just make it very clear that you want nothing to do with him, that you aren't friends.
[editline]5th February 2013[/editline]
[sub][sub]if that doesn't work, then yeah, you might want to beat his punk ass.[/sub][/sub]
Homeless people laugh at you.
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you
"Your the kind of person who'd fuck someone in the ass and not have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around."
Or really anything Sargent Hartman says.
Call him a dinglebitch
That one is from a friend of mine
[editline]6th February 2013[/editline]
Here's another one I whipped up myself
"You guttercuntsucking, goat fucking son of a bitch. If I ever find you wandering around here again I will rip your disfigured pimple-ass lumpy pubebearded head off of your cumcrusted gigalarded stanknasty body and shove it up your shit smeared tapeworm infested rotten festering asshole."
oi m8 tell that 2 my face il slap your fokin hed off lad m8 twat
[editline]6th February 2013[/editline]
twat cunt m8 ladchapinnit m8 cunt oi oi cunt
"You really like Call of Duty, do you?"
ur fukken gey, m8
U wot m8? Yer goin the right way for a smacked bottom.
[sub][sub]then after your done beating him within an inch of his life[/sub][/sub]
Its not ogre yet! Then beat him some more.
"Shut the fuck up you fucking needledick bastard!"
For the military: "I used to frag officers like you back in Afghanistan/Iraq/Vietnam"
you block of shit
"dude i will fluff your boner so hard, your dad will feel it"
"i will lick your bare chest so hard, your nipples will look like rail road spikes"
"i will kiss you on the mouth so tenderly you'll be waking in cold sweats for decades, you will ache to your very core for a release that never finds you"
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