• Facepunch writes erotic fanfiction v1: Oh shit what are you doing?!
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[QUOTE=KnightVista;39872343]"Yeah it's kinda my favorite book." he nodded, the lady at the register looked strangely at him.[/QUOTE] This was none other than Steve "Stone Cold" Austin, in his usual wrestling garb. His bulge throbs eerily.
[QUOTE=Bazsil;39872344]This was none other than Steve "Stone Cold" Austin, in his usual wrestling garb. His bulge throbs eerily.[/QUOTE] But as he looked on, and admired the woman, he noticed something odd about her... A distinct mustache line, for one.
Chapter 2: Chell's awakening ------------------------------------------ Three years after the events of portal ------------------------------------------- Chell groggily opens her eyes " w-where am I" she thinks as she finds she can't move her arms or legs, but can definitely see a large figure looming over her.
[QUOTE=KnightVista;39872343]"Yeah it's kinda my favorite book." he nodded, the lady at the register looked strangely at him.[/QUOTE] "I'll see what I can do." She answered, and moved away from the register down the aisles of the bookstore. The shopkeepers name was Sarah, and she had never gotten used to the kind of customers that seemed attracted to her store. It wasn't that they were rude, or even difficult. It was the way they looked at her. It was the way they looked at her four breasts.
damn you ninjas
Aw man, I wanted a four tittied librarian.
[QUOTE=MazerRackham] "I'll see what I can do." She answered, and moved away from the register down the aisles of the bookstore. The shopkeepers name was Sarah, and she had never gotten used to the kind of customers that seemed attracted to her store. It wasn't that they were rude, or even difficult. It was the way they looked at her. It was the way they looked at her four breasts.[/QUOTE] Steve leans across the counter, whispering "Did you just fart? Because you blow me away..." as the store's door crashes open and someone calls out "Stay away from my baby!"
Bazsil change your quote to this one. [QUOTE=MazerRackham;39872366]"I'll see what I can do." She answered, and moved away from the register down the aisles of the bookstore. The shopkeepers name was Sarah, and she had never gotten used to the kind of customers that seemed attracted to her store. It wasn't that they were rude, or even difficult. It was the way they looked at her. It was the way they looked at her four breasts.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=KnightVista;39872379]Continue with this post.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=MazerRackham;39872366]"I'll see what I can do." She answered, and moved away from the register down the aisles of the bookstore. The shopkeepers name was Sarah, and she had never gotten used to the kind of customers that seemed attracted to her store. It wasn't that they were rude, or even difficult. It was the way they looked at her. It was the way they looked at her four breasts.[/QUOTE] Now Austin knew what was up. The four breasts... The distinct mustache line... This lady couldn't be Sarah. It must be an impostor! It could only be one person.
Snip Knightvista, you're my hero. [editline]11th March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Mr. Zombie;39872383]Now Austin knew what was up. The four breasts... The distinct mustache line... This lady couldn't be Sarah. It must be an impostor! It could only be one person.[/QUOTE] "Jesse 'The Body' Ventura!" Steve bellowed "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Looking for Sarah are we?" Ventura asked as he wiped the lipstick from his sneering mouth. "Well you won't find her, not today."
I can't help but laugh when I read this. It's perfect. [QUOTE=MazerRackham;39872366]"I'll see what I can do." She answered, and moved away from the register down the aisles of the bookstore. The shopkeepers name was Sarah, and she had never gotten used to the kind of customers that seemed attracted to her store. It wasn't that they were rude, or even difficult. It was the way they looked at her. It was the way they looked at her four breasts.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Bazsil;39872375]Steve leans across the counter, whispering "Did you just fart? Because you blow me away..." as the store's door crashes open and someone calls out "Stay away from my baby!"[/QUOTE] [editline]11th March 2013[/editline] Page king!
[QUOTE=MazerRackham;39872386]Snip Knightvista, you're my hero. [editline]11th March 2013[/editline] "Jesse 'The Body' Ventura!" Steve bellowed "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Looking for Sarah are we?" Ventura asked as he wiped the lipstick from his sneering mouth.[/QUOTE] "You, I thought I had you killed in Russia," Steve responds. "Never send a midget assassin to do a wrestler's job, Steve. You failed, and now, gaze upon my penis" at which point Ventura tears any remaining clothing from his body.
[QUOTE=Bazsil;39872433]"You, I thought I had you killed in Russia," Steve responds. "Never send a midget assassin to do a wrestler's job, Steve. You failed, and now, gaze upon my penis" at which point Venture tears any remaining clothing from his body.[/QUOTE] Steve Austin then knew what he must do. He slowly removed his 1-inch dinger and swung it at Ventura, hoping to intimidate him.
[QUOTE=Mr. Zombie;39872440]Steve Austin then knew what he must do. He slowly removed his 1-inch dinger and swung it at Ventura, hoping to intimidate him.[/QUOTE] As the two wrestlers attempt to do battle, suddenly a shrill cry rings out. "Cease this violence!" They both turn around to see none other than Albus Dumbledore, as naked as the day he was born aside from his stereotypical wizard hat and stave.
A man with a small dick and a shemale midget assassin book keeper. Interesting.
[QUOTE=Bazsil;39872454]As the two wrestlers attempt to do battle, suddenly a shrill cry rings out. "Cease this violence!" They both turn around to see none other than Albus Dumbledore, as naked as the day he was born aside from his stereotypical wizard hat and stave.[/QUOTE] The hair on his head was as long as the hair on his other head. His stave was as long as his other stave. He cast a spell, suddenly transforming Austin's penis into a girth-bound monster.
"The police are on their way!" spake Dumbledore as he cowered behind the counter. As Jesse attempted to subdue the monster, the sound of sirens filled the group's ears.
Dumbledore then proceeds to saunter towards Jesse, and asks if there's some other way they could resolve there differences, while running his finger slowly up his thigh. [editline]10th March 2013[/editline] god damnit every time I post.
Skip the one above me.
[QUOTE=KnightVista;39872494]Skip those two, they don't know what planet they're on.[/QUOTE] Ethan's is fine, man.
[QUOTE=Mr. Zombie;39872496]Ethan's is fine, man.[/QUOTE] Fixed, also added spoiler tags below the chapters on the OP to summarize what happens.
[QUOTE=Mr. Zombie;39872471]The hair on his head was as long as the hair on his other head. His stave was as long as his other stave. He cast a spell, suddenly transforming Austin's penis into a girth-bound monster.[/QUOTE] "Control your serpent warrior, before it controls you!" The wizard roared, and turned his attention on the dress wearing Jesse Ventura. "And now for you young lady." With a flick of his wand he sent a vortex of occult energy spiralling towards the stunned wrestlers torso. "Perhaps a little something extra, to go with your something extra!" Albus cackled, and as Jesse looked down he realized something was even more wrong than usual on his rippling torso...
There's no eroticness to this chapter. Do something fruity.
[QUOTE=KnightVista;39872512]There's no eroticness to this chapter. Do something fruity.[/QUOTE] In all fairness, you'd have to work pretty hard if you tried to enjoy the first chapter in an erotic sense.
He looked down and saw each of his four breasts had a pair of luscious breasts upon them. "Damn you wizard! He exclaimed, and tackled albus onto the ground.
[QUOTE=KnightVista;39872512]There's no eroticness to this chapter. Do something fruity.[/QUOTE] The police then show up, but they all turn out to be Village People police. The entire Northern police force then strips down to nothing but a hat and a thick black [sp]mustache[/sp].
[QUOTE=MazerRackham;39872510]"Control your serpent warrior, before it controls you!" The wizard roared, and turned his attention on the dress wearing Jesse Ventura. "And now for you young lady." With a flick of his wand he sent a vortex of occult energy spiralling towards the stunned wrestlers torso. "Perhaps a little something extra, to go with your something extra!" Albus cackled, and as Jesse looked down he realized something was even more wrong than usual on his rippling torso...[/QUOTE] All four of his nipples were now penises! Albus saunters towards him, blushing hot pink. "Now, I can really show you true magic" he whispers as he strokes one.
Two more quotes until the next chapter, finish it up!
I swear we've hit 15, so I'll just end it here. As the police force ran in naked, they all began firing upon the horny group. The police chief was charged with 4 counts of first degree murder, and was sentenced to death by rape.
Time for chapter 3, what will it be entitled?
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