My ambitions are to high and the idea failure makes me sick. Yet all I do is sit around and procrastinate. I go to a community college where I don't feel like I'm reaching my intended goals. I know I'm only there so I can transfer to an actual school for a major, but I just don't feel it. So I procrastinate more, then remember that how I preform in this shity school determines if the school I actually want to go to lets me in or not.
I think my gf is going to breakup with me, but the only reason she is not is because my grandmother just died.
[QUOTE=Foda;26073355]I think my gf is going to breakup with me, but the only reason she is not is because my grandmother just died.[/QUOTE]
Let me tell you a story. I was in love with the perfect girl for 5 years and this year I broke it off. Because she didn't want me anymore. There were other guys in the world.
The moral of this is, there's really no reason to try and make it work if she's going to break up with you. A relationship needs to be two ways.
Rate me boxes for this, I don't care. I'm just trying to give advice.
I peed in the shower. /thread
I look at my dorm mates and then at myself. I look at the people and then at myself...is it bad that they all seem to succed when I continuously fail? No matter how hard I've ever tried, some one was always better than me. So I gave up and now I procrastinate and its biting me in the ass.
[QUOTE=Jookia;26073407]Let me tell you a story. I was in love with the perfect girl for 5 years and this year I broke it off. Because she didn't want me anymore. There were other guys in the world.
The moral of this is, there's really no reason to try and make it work if she's going to break up with you. A relationship needs to be two ways.
Rate me boxes for this, I don't care. I'm just trying to give advice.[/QUOTE]
well, it's my first relationship and it's hard for me to tell if she is giving the signals or not. i might just be overreacting. we don't fight or anything it just seems like she is not paying a lot of attention to me. this weekend she is going to be showing me around her hometown.
I can't stop myself from fapping.
Help
[QUOTE=gazzy_GUI;26031735]Stop drinking fizzy altogether, you wont regret it, juice & water is much nicer anyway's, I've only just seen it after 7+ months of just drinking it. I feel healthier and happier because of it.
[editline]13th November 2010[/editline]
I have very bad paranoia though i try to hide it though, i just feel people hate me and are too nice to say anything.[/QUOTE]
Yeah thanks man. I'll try.
Some people might have seen it, but I port models from other games into Source. I release them and everything is cool, but the thing is, some people say they don't like them and they have obvious flaws. I can't see these flaws and ask them to tell me where these flaws are and how I should fix them, but they never tell me, and it's annoying as fuck. I'm trying to do something for the GMod community but they're giving me jack shit here. If my stuff is bad, and you tell me it's bad without pointing out where it is, how the fuck am I supposed to improve? Seriously?
Bleh, might as well stop this shit, never gave anything good
[QUOTE=Haxxer;26073628]Yeah thanks man. I'll try.
Some people might have seen it, but I port models from other games into Source. I release them and everything is cool, but the thing is, some people say they don't like them and they have obvious flaws. I can't see these flaws and ask them to tell me where these flaws are and how I should fix them, but they never tell me, and it's annoying as fuck. I'm trying to do something for the GMod community but they're giving me jack shit here. If my stuff is bad, and you tell me it's bad without pointing out where it is, how the fuck am I supposed to improve? Seriously?
Bleh, might as well stop this shit, never gave anything good[/QUOTE]
Ignore them...to quote Yahtzee.
"Fans are whiney bitches who will never ever be happy with the slightest changes you make."
((Had to change it since I don't remember the exact quote.))
[QUOTE=Foda;26073529]well, it's my first relationship and it's hard for me to tell if she is giving the signals or not. i might just be overreacting. we don't fight or anything it just seems like she is not paying a lot of attention to me. this weekend she is going to be showing me around her hometown.[/QUOTE]
That was my first and last relationship.
Just confront her.
I think one of my best friends hates me now
[QUOTE=En-Guage V2;26074040]I think one of my best friends hates me now[/QUOTE]
Interesting, because as of late I have been feeling an intense hatred to one of my former best friends.
Fucking hate girls that play with your feelings. This girl have been playing with my feelings for some weeks now, and friendzoned me yesterday, because when we kissed, "She didnt feel the warmth and stuff".
Sucks but I guess thats life. Also havn't eated for 3 days now.
I come home everyday from work, and spend all my time on the computer.
In fact I have been doing this for as long as I know..
and...it seems so normal to me
My sole goal in life is to disturb and frighten people. Or to make them laugh. I have absolutely no aspirations of love or friendship.
I don't value my life in any way. When I was hit by a car in August the only thing I felt was a sense of failure because I wasn't able to do my job.
Before I was hit by the car I was mentally breaking down. I couldn't bring up the energy to move, I was angry at myself all the time, and no matter how hard I tried at my job I felt incompetent and lazy. When I was on my bike I would mutter under my breath about how everyone was doomed.
In the dark of night while staring upwards at the curtain masking the moonlight while blowing in the wind I could feel everyone's eyes piercing the back of my head, and in that instant I would know there was no God and I was alone.
I like writing, and people tell me that I'm good at it, but I can't really see myself with a career in it. I love to create worlds, but it's more of a hobby than anything else, and I think that my dad, being a man who's sacrificed much for his want of being an author, will be a bit disappointed when he finds out that I don't have much interest in pursuing it as anything more than a fun way to relieve stress and pass the time--especially given his constant assurances that I have "real talent" at it.
eh, might as well get this off my chest.
I'm just lazy fatass who doesn't workout anymore because of damn knee injury I for 2 years ago when played football (America). I've gained about 30 pounds I need to desperately loose but I never workout when I tell myself I will, I just keep putting it of and keep playing retarded video games.
I've been alone for the past 2~3 years by ignoring friends and family saying I'll get back to them "later" and never do. I'm really sick of being who I am now so I'm going to do my best change who I am by being more outgoing, social, and active in life. I'm getting into the medical field as a career (respiratory therapy) and the person I am now will not make it in the hospital setting so I'm using my new field of choice as a way to make a change in myself.
I hope for my sanity and physical/mental health I can make these changes so I don't end more of a failure I already am.
ugh, it's 12:30am I barely slept the other night so this will probably look like I'm being a whiny bitch or whatever but I needed to put this out there to help myself believe I'm actually going to do what I'm telling myself I'm going to do.
[editline]15th November 2010[/editline]
I've created this false sense of security for myself and it's destroying me.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;26074400]I like writing, and people tell me that I'm good at it, but I can't really see myself with a career in it. I love to create worlds, but it's more of a hobby than anything else, and I think that my dad, being a man who's sacrificed much for his want of being an author, will be a bit disappointed when he finds out that I don't have much interest in pursuing it as anything more than a fun way to relieve stress and pass the time--especially given his constant assurances that I have "real talent" at it.[/QUOTE]
Here's a funny story. I want to be an artist, but I've also done some acting, occasionally by request. Apparently people think I'm a good actor, and more than one person has asked me to get into it as a career.
Thing is, when I act, all I'm doing is the same thing I do when I talk to people normally. Making up a persona and acting through it. Because I honestly have no idea who I am, and it scares me when I think about it.
I fear starting anything. Goals, dreams, ideas, relationships, friendships, education, jobs even. Finishing is never the issue; Once I do get something rolling, I've got a bullish determination to see it done as fast as possible as best as possible - but only when I care for it, and that's a small category called 'Things I Started Myself'. It isn't so much failure as it is loss that frightens me and depresses me tremendously. I've failed like anyone else at a number of tasks, but I've learned from them. Dealing with loss, however, seems wholly impossible for me, and I can never learn from my pitfalls.
I've spent my entire life moving from place to place, ditching friends, girlfriends, whole cultures, languages even along the way. I burnt these bridges upon crossing them because I never had the foresight to turn around and even consider the possibility that these people or places or most anything could be important to me in the future. My first language (French) is waning, because it's never been much more than a conversation point and a great resume headliner (Bilingual!), having lived in English Canada my whole life. My German is now dead. My Dutch the same.
I can't see potential in my own qualities, and yet I can easily spot them in others.
I trust others with myself far more than I trust myself with myself.
I spend more time online because it has no geography and no location; It can be accessed from anywhere. My best friend is a 17 year old who lives in Tennessee who I've known for six years - longer than my actual girlfriend and anyone else. I have never met him. I don't 'lose' people on the internet as I do in real-life and this is why I burn all my time playing online games in hopes of encountering more people like this.
I present myself as a narcissistic, self-loving, critical-of-others, introverted person, because I can't come to terms with the fact that I am a self-loathing, self-hating man who is critical of every one of his own actions and is overly-emotional with everything he does. But I can't just let it out for some reason.
Truly I hate myself. But so long as I act like I love myself, everyone stems a belief that I am okay. I told my girlfriend that I needed help one night. She asked with what.
I didn't know how to answer back.
[QUOTE=Exploits;26074561]
Truly I hate myself. But so long as I act like I love myself, everyone stems a belief that I am okay. [/QUOTE]
this is exactly how I feel.
I feel angry and childish when I feel loved. And I have a sneaking suspicion that the only reason that I'm so angry is that anger is the only emotion I understand and am comfortable with.
[QUOTE=mfb412;26067740]i rage'd.
it would be at this point that no matter the age of the person, old, new, i would fucking punch until they can't move without the aid of a stretcher.
i hate bullies with a passion, had one in 7th grade, sumbitch kept hitting and pushing me to the ground (i was atleast 20cm shorter than him, and weighed a lot less) hardly stopped me, i hit him, a lot, it just didn't seem to have any effect.
for about 2 years after that, i never saw him, but then, found out he had moved to my new school, and whilst still being taller than me, i'm a lot "bulkier" (weigh more but in muscle), he almost immediately recognized me and as usual, went on to slap me into the back of the head..
to which i reacted by backhanding him in the temple so hard he passed out and was asleep at the hospital for 3 hours, they told me i would've killed him had i hit any harder (not that i would care, fucker deserved it, he bullied many more kids)[/QUOTE]
You sir, are a goddamn winner.
[QUOTE=Fycix;26074077]Interesting, because as of late I have been feeling an intense hatred to one of my former best friends.[/QUOTE]
Small world I guess ;(
linked by misery
Alrighty, I'm about to fall asleep, so now is as good a time as any to simply tell each and every one of you, you will be fine.
Life has its ups, and it has its downs, but you just need to learn to think of the ups whilst partaking in the downs.
Everyone has problems, everyone has troubles, its the outlook that dictates who has what. People with severe mental conditions that would make them appear as impossibly troubled by the average person might consider their life to be great, simply because that's how they look at these things.
Now, I know this is hard to do, as human nature has us focus on the here-and-now and events relative to that, but learn to connect joy - in the form of happy events - to the repetitive appearance of the sad events in your life. This will make you able to handle it a little bit more, and will eventually lead you to a comfortable, enjoyable life.
Don't think I'm just guessing about this, my life fucking sucks sometimes. I have severe anxiety, a serious case of OCD, and depression. An assignment that might take some other kid 30 minutes can take me upwards of an hour. My parents are getting divorced, I'm fairly socially-outcastish, and my mom, whom is the closet family member to me, can hate me at times. I'm sensitive, so much in fact, that any slight against me will almost always cause me to question myself. I have potential, but am nearly unable to utilize it due to the continuous mistakes I commit.
All of this troubles me everyday, so I escape it with what I enjoy most - games.
Whenever I'm doing something, and get overwhelmed, I think about them. This brings my mood up, and allows me to harvest that reservoir of willpower that all of us have.
You're fucking great, you'll do fucking great, and nothing can limit you. Just put in that little extra effort to change your outlook, and life will be fine.
[QUOTE=Foda;26073529]well, it's my first relationship and it's hard for me to tell if she is giving the signals or not. i might just be overreacting. we don't fight or anything it just seems like she is not paying a lot of attention to me. this weekend she is going to be showing me around her hometown.[/QUOTE]
I've lost count of how many times I've said this to friends about either friendships or relationships; [B]talk to her[/B]. Don't just assume she/he's going off you or whatever, if you really think that, ask her if she thinks you've changed, ask her if she thinks you guys have a future, just talk to her. Don't go straight in and ask "You don't love me, correct?", be subtle, be loving, be kind. Don't just assume she's going off you and do something drastic, because it may just be that you're overreacting and you've thrown away a perfectly good relationship for nothing.
[QUOTE=Goggles;26074689]Alrighty, I'm about to fall asleep, so now is as good a time as any to simply tell each and every one of you, you will be fine.
Life has its ups, and it has its downs, but you just need to learn to think of the ups whilst partaking in the downs.
Everyone has problems, everyone has troubles, its the outlook that dictates who has what. People with severe mental conditions that would make them appear as impossibly troubled by the average person might consider their life to be great, simply because that's how they look at these things.
Now, I know this is hard to do, as human nature has us focus on the here-and-now and events relative to that, but learn to connect joy - in the form of happy events - to the repetitive appearance of the sad events in your life. This will make you able to handle it a little bit more, and will eventually lead you to a comfortable, enjoyable life.
Don't think I'm just guessing about this, my life fucking sucks sometimes. I have severe anxiety, a serious case of OCD, and depression. An assignment that might take some other kid 30 minutes can take me upwards of an hour. My parents are getting divorced, I'm fairly socially-outcastish, and my mom, whom is the closet family member to me, can hate me at times. I'm sensitive, so much in fact, that any slight against me will almost always cause me to question myself. I have potential, but am nearly unable to utilize it due to the continuous mistakes I commit.
All of this troubles me everyday, so I escape it with what I enjoy most - games.
Whenever I'm doing something, and get overwhelmed, I think about them. This brings my mood up, and allows me to harvest that reservoir of willpower that all of us have.
You're fucking great, you'll do fucking great, and nothing can limit you. Just put in that little extra effort to change your outlook, and life will be fine.[/QUOTE]
I have no doubt that I will accomplish what I want. I want to become a great artist, and am perfectly on schedule for that. But sometimes living feels like wandering through mist, and people seem like incorporeal specters that speak in an alien language. Life isn't depressing, it's unreal. Everything is so distant and when I reach out for it it crumbles into sand.
[QUOTE=Goggles;26074689]Alrighty, I'm about to fall asleep, so now is as good a time as any to simply tell each and every one of you, you will be fine.
Life has its ups, and it has its downs, but you just need to learn to think of the ups whilst partaking in the downs.
Everyone has problems, everyone has troubles, its the outlook that dictates who has what. People with severe mental conditions that would make them appear as impossibly troubled by the average person might consider their life to be great, simply because that's how they look at these things.
Now, I know this is hard to do, as human nature has us focus on the here-and-now and events relative to that, but learn to connect joy - in the form of happy events - to the repetitive appearance of the sad events in your life. This will make you able to handle it a little bit more, and will eventually lead you to a comfortable, enjoyable life.
Don't think I'm just guessing about this, my life fucking sucks sometimes. I have severe anxiety, a serious case of OCD, and depression. An assignment that might take some other kid 30 minutes can take me upwards of an hour. My parents are getting divorced, I'm fairly socially-outcastish, and my mom, whom is the closet family member to me, can hate me at times. I'm sensitive, so much in fact, that any slight against me will almost always cause me to question myself. I have potential, but am nearly unable to utilize it due to the continuous mistakes I commit.
All of this troubles me everyday, so I escape it with what I enjoy most - games.
Whenever I'm doing something, and get overwhelmed, I think about them. This brings my mood up, and allows me to harvest that reservoir of willpower that all of us have.
You're fucking great, you'll do fucking great, and nothing can limit you. Just put in that little extra effort to change your outlook, and life will be fine.[/QUOTE]
last paragraph inspired me to be a better person to others and myself, thanks.
i'm happy
[editline]15th November 2010[/editline]
phew
[QUOTE=Goggles;26074689]Alrighty, I'm about to fall asleep, so now is as good a time as any to simply tell each and every one of you, you will be fine.
Life has its ups, and it has its downs, but you just need to learn to think of the ups whilst partaking in the downs.
Everyone has problems, everyone has troubles, its the outlook that dictates who has what. People with severe mental conditions that would make them appear as impossibly troubled by the average person might consider their life to be great, simply because that's how they look at these things.
Now, I know this is hard to do, as human nature has us focus on the here-and-now and events relative to that, but learn to connect joy - in the form of happy events - to the repetitive appearance of the sad events in your life. This will make you able to handle it a little bit more, and will eventually lead you to a comfortable, enjoyable life.
Don't think I'm just guessing about this, my life fucking sucks sometimes. I have severe anxiety, a serious case of OCD, and depression. An assignment that might take some other kid 30 minutes can take me upwards of an hour. My parents are getting divorced, I'm fairly socially-outcastish, and my mom, whom is the closet family member to me, can hate me at times. I'm sensitive, so much in fact, that any slight against me will almost always cause me to question myself. I have potential, but am nearly unable to utilize it due to the continuous mistakes I commit.
All of this troubles me everyday, so I escape it with what I enjoy most - games.
Whenever I'm doing something, and get overwhelmed, I think about them. This brings my mood up, and allows me to harvest that reservoir of willpower that all of us have.
You're fucking great, you'll do fucking great, and nothing can limit you. Just put in that little extra effort to change your outlook, and life will be fine.[/QUOTE]
Cheered me up a little. Thanks!
[QUOTE=ishownomercy;26075012]Cheered me up a little. Thanks![/QUOTE]
Sounds a lot like me :smith:
I have an awesome girlfriend though, which is always a plus.
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