I'm fucking tired and want to go to bed. And i have a strange feeling that I'm going insane, or at least weird in a strange way.
But, compared to other peoples post, my life is heaven.
I wish all of you luck.
[IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/2rz9o61.png[/IMG]
[editline]15th December 2010[/editline]
[IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/j8fmkm.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Pleather;26714459]I noticed someone hadn't logged out of spotify on one of our school computers and I decided to delete all of his playlists. Man I'm gangsta[/QUOTE]
You get Spotify on your school computers? WAT
I'm really getting tired of all the people I know, I just want to move to a different city and start over, new friends, new places to go, new things to do, a new life. But then I look at all the chances and opportunities I have and all the friendships I've made, and I realize I can't just leave them all. I've had that happen to me, and I know how it feels.
I feel like if I could do it all again with what I know now, I could change it all to work out for me better socially; make me more popular, get me all the girls, and maybe have more fun. I feel that this new life would not have the same feeling as my current one, if you can tell what I mean. I'm used to going to school and being an outcast, a loser; I'm used to coming home and having nobody to talk about my problems with. It seems that nobody ever tries to help me, and if they have I've always said "I'm okay" and shooed them off. This probably has to do with me always having to solve my own problems at home, with a single mother who leaves for days at a time to work. Probably.
Also I feel that I can't have good conversations and that I make fun of people accidentally.
And if I happen to reach 10 rejections in 6 months, I'll probably become a serial killer.
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1038338-How-tweens-and-World-of-Warcraft-ruined-my-life[/url].
That guy is a complete fucking idiot and a total bitch. When the answer to dealing with his problem is slapping him in the face.
I know that my problems are insignificant, but I thought I'd just throw them out there for a change. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for all that I have, but life can be rough.
So, like a lot of the previous posters, I'm shy and tend to be socially awkward. I get A's in my honors classes, I'm known to be intelligent, I'm an athlete of sorts, and I know how to play the violin and the guitar and actually own five guitars. But, despite all of these blessings, I have a distinct lack of self confidence and I feel as if I lack warmth and humanity. I just can't be nice to people in the same way others do. Should I just go out there and talk to people more as practice? I dunno...
Also, I've known a beautiful young woman for four years and recently I confessed to her that I "liked" her (such a dumb term, but there's no other way to put it). However, she thinks I'm awkward and she usually just drops off chat whenever I talk to her on Facebook or through texts. I know her through my sport (coed) and I see her every week, but I feel like I can't compete with the nice guys that go to her school.
At the same time, I think I might have inadvertently hurt one of my female friends from orchestra. I think she has a crush on me but I have very few feelings for her. What do I do?
[QUOTE=Captain Lawlrus;26616125]I'm gonna go ahead and guess that these are 5 of your less socially successful friends[/QUOTE]
Computer smarts =/= being social
One of my so-called best friends is an egotistical bastard. He and I are both very musically competitive. Even though I play blues and jazz, he just wants to play rock. I've whipped him before in 'duels' or whatever you want to call it. Both were initiated by him. Any time I give him criticism about one minor thing, he flips shit. He writes his own songs and overuses distortion, most of which sound like showtune songs (grease, mama mia). I'm known as magic fingers :smug: because I play guitar, piano, and violin like a mad man. When he heard someone call me that, he lost it and started harassing me about why he should be called that because he has been playing more than me.
Plus, my grades suck this six weeks. This is the first time I'm considering telling my parents that I need some help. As in them yelling at me to do my work instead of leaving it to me.
I'm a melodramatic asshole who always covets what I cant have to an extreme degree, am constantly alienated, and lash out at others for no reason.
[editline]16th December 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=Haxxer;26677752]I feel like a failure when I shouldn't. It feels like I can't do anything right anymore, no matter how hard I try. I have good grades and still I feel like I don't deserve them.[/QUOTE]
I'm goin through that as well, just taking it one day at a time
I've been going through a depression for nearly 3 years now. I love the class I'm going to, but now it's over for christmas and then I'll only go to it for spring, starting a new school in autumn. I don't think I can handle it, the school has been the only thing that keeps me going. I'm feeling so low down just that the school is over for christmas and I don't see how I'll be able to start at a new school, a new class with tougher schoo-lwork. I don't think I'll make it.
[QUOTE=Katamari_Jr;26723632]I'm really getting tired of all the people I know, I just want to move to a different city and start over, new friends, new places to go, new things to do, a new life. But then I look at all the chances and opportunities I have and all the friendships I've made, and I realize I can't just leave them all. I've had that happen to me, and I know how it feels.
I feel like if I could do it all again with what I know now, I could change it all to work out for me better socially; make me more popular, get me all the girls, and maybe have more fun. I feel that this new life would not have the same feeling as my current one, if you can tell what I mean. I'm used to going to school and being an outcast, a loser; I'm used to coming home and having nobody to talk about my problems with. It seems that nobody ever tries to help me, and if they have I've always said "I'm okay" and shooed them off. This probably has to do with me always having to solve my own problems at home, with a single mother who leaves for days at a time to work. Probably.
Also I feel that I can't have good conversations and that I make fun of people accidentally.
And if I happen to reach 10 rejections in 6 months, I'll probably become a serial killer.[/QUOTE]
I can feel for you mate. I'm stuck in the same situation. Although I'm moving away for my future studies to Austria. And currently I'm working on meeting new people and I was quite successful. Just don't let your head downl. You will find a new place.
I don't know what to do. I've been feeling depressed for about a year (probably longer, I just never realised), and it's an eternal fight between my feelings and my logic. I know why I'm feeling so depressed, it's so obvious to me, but I'm trying to put it away and fool myself that there is another reason to why I'm feeling so depressed. I'm seeing a psychologist and she's trying to help me find the source of my depression, I'm not telling her even though I know what it is. Our talks are just about my life and things I don't like so we can find why I'm feeling so depressed. I know what it is, by heart and mind, I'm just trying hide it from myself. I don't want to see the truth, cause it's so pathetic yet everything to me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I can't get it out of my mind and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm breaking down.
I once killed a mosquito
[QUOTE=Lufttygger306;26731168]I once killed a mosquito[/QUOTE]
I've killed an uncountable amount of mosquitos.
[QUOTE=MisterM;26722372]You get Spotify on your school computers? WAT[/QUOTE]
Nothing stopping you installing it on your school PC.
I am contemplating suicide, I feel like I'd be better not being here.
Don't fucking rate disagree flap.
[QUOTE=MirageKnight;26733098]I am contemplating suicide, I feel like I'd be better not being here.[/QUOTE]
No you wouldn't, ending it is never better when it can get better! And it can get better!
[QUOTE=MrJazzy;26733199]No you wouldn't, ending it is never better when it can get better! And it can get better![/QUOTE]
That's what I said 2 years ago.
You're 16. Life gets better as you get older. Or you can jump the queue and drink underage. My life's been so much better in the last month.
Thing is, I can't stand school, which is my main problem. I'd prefer doing stuff I want to do. School holds me back, makes me stay with people I hate, and I have other burdens I'll have to carry with me for the rest of my life.
I know what you mean bro, it's okey to feel down, suicide is just not an option.
I stole a Pokemon card from my friend as a child.
[QUOTE=MirageKnight;26733985]Thing is, I can't stand school, which is my main problem. I'd prefer doing stuff I want to do. School holds me back, makes me stay with people I hate, and I have other burdens I'll have to carry with me for the rest of my life.[/QUOTE]
You're not Holden Caulfield.
Suicide is a stupid option. It's selfish, think about people who love you and how hurt they'd be.
I hate my brother. He is 25 years old and still lives at home. He drinks all of my drinks, he leaves lights on. He's a fucking hipster tool, and he's knocked up 2 chicks. One of whom he fucked himself over with by going on hour long walks with other female friends, and then he was surprised when she didn't want him in her life. And that was when she was pregnant. He once tried to hang himself with a extension cord because his girlfriend was mad at him. He failed. He considers himself a photographer but just takes standard wal-mart pictures before photoshopping them.
He has also never treated me as a brother, he acts like he's stuck in middle-school and is annoying as fuck. He's threatened me and sometimes abused me.
If he died, I wouldn't care.
I wish he died.
[QUOTE=TCB;26738206]You're not Holden Caulfield.
Suicide is a stupid option. It's selfish, think about people who love you and how hurt they'd be.[/QUOTE]
I like to relate to Holden Caulfield
Actually, so do I.
Ok, I guess it's my turn to contribute:
I work 5 days a week (10 hours a day), it leaves me with little time for myself/family/friends/girlfriend.
I earn around £800 (GB) a month, £200 of which goes to my dad for rent another £200 into my bank and the rest is for me to get through the next month.
The money I saved went towards paying a mini week holiday with a friend to follow a band we like for a few shows down the country.
Here's where it goes awry.
As its soon approaching Christmas time I decide to dig into the money I saved up for the past two months has dipped down a bit, still enough to get presents for the important people in my life though.
Now during my time away I didnt really have a chance to use the internet so I had miss out on a monthly payement for my rent, and as my next paycheque wasnt for another 2 weeks I had tell my father itll be late - he's a bit agitated by the news but he lets me off with it.
However a few days later he decides to have changed his mind and says I need to cash in that money aswell as another £300 I apparently owe him for phone bills/ other expenses he "forget" to tell me about and throws that in with the £200. So its up to £500 now.
With next payement looming soon thatll be another £200 in weeks
£700 in the space of 4 weeks.
I can get the money but thats gonna leave with not much for christmas, but I can find a way. The icing on the cake is during this whole time my father has been talking to his girfriend about me behind my back - upon later discussions she (my father's girfriend) explains that he's saying I'm a joker and that I'm too busy going to concerts and not bothering to save up for anything.
There's a lot more beneath the surface between myself and my father but that's another thing all together. Short version of that though is He expects me to be some Charismatic Stallion about talking with him even though I've hardly spoken to him/ seen him for the majority of my life as he's always away.
Back on topic:
TLDR;
I get back from holiday
Father needs £700 off me in the space of 4 weeks - not much for the holidays.
Complains I never save or bother with anything.
P.s. felt good getting that off my chest
I destroyed a planet that was home to an entire sentient race of extra terrestrials, an act of xenocide.
I have also killed two boys.
One when I was 6. He was bullying me, and I thought that the only way to win the fight was to win permanently. He was bigger than me, but I destroyed him. I stamped his head flat after beating the piss out of him.
Another a few years later. He attacked me in a bathroom, and I mercilessly obliterated him.
[QUOTE=o DefcoN o;26734778]I stole a Pokemon card from my friend as a child.[/QUOTE]
So did I, and I got away with it. :/ I still feel bad about that.
I hate most of the people I know, they're all fake. Girls are all the same, they listen to shitty music and date shitty laxbros. They quote shitty Bob Marley quotes and act like bitches. They are all fake and just fuck with my head.
I am dating this girl i have no interest in, I really am only in it for the sex and benefits.
I had my finals this week, totally fucked up on those.
I planned on having a good winter break but thats not going to happen with my grades.
I feel like school isn't needed because it molds everyone the same. There is no unique people anymore, just a bunch of ass' kids and following fake hipsters.
I have thought long and hard about fucking everyone over and ridding them all from existence.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuc.
Fu.
F.
.
I want to scream. I can't even think straight, I have no idea what my problems are anymore.
Rate me gaybows please.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
