[QUOTE=Binsky;27285779]I guess that more depends on the individual's experience. I hear "thank you" a fair amount and I try to thank people that have done something courteous[/QUOTE]
As do I. I guess it just really irks me with the younger crowd. The ones who just take things and leave, don't hold open doors, or pull out chairs for their girlfriends, etc.
Glad I was raised old-school.
[editline]8th January 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Pascall;27285828]I try to say thank you when I can, but where I'm from, nobody says thank you. Sure, you get the typical "manners" speech when growing up, but common courtesy isn't a thing around here. Or at least isn't a thing for me. No one ever thanked me for putting forth the effort to do things for other people when I was in high school. Not that I worked for a thank you, but it would have been nice.
I guess that's the only reason I kind of forget sometimes. People never thanked me so I find it hard to thank other people.[/QUOTE]
Thank you.
And yes, I do mean that. I can thank you for the things you've done, even if it hasn't affected me.
[QUOTE=Identity;27285833]As do I. I guess it just really irks me with the younger crowd. The ones who just take things and leave, don't hold open doors, or pull out chairs for their girlfriends, etc.
Glad I was raised old-school.
[editline]8th January 2011[/editline]
Thank you.
And yes, I do mean that. I can thank you for the things you've done, even if it hasn't affected me.[/QUOTE]
I think that's a lofty assumption to be made for an entire generation. I think it's unfair to think that all young people are like that. Try not to generalize
[QUOTE=Identity;27285833]
Thank you.
And yes, I do mean that. I can thank you for the things you've done, even if it hasn't affected me.[/QUOTE]
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I wish someone had opened doors and stuff for me when I was in a relationship. Too bad I was the man in that one and he was the girly one. Awkward. :v:
If I'd come to this thread 6 months ago I probably would have written pages upon pages, just to say something. Nowadays the feelings I had before are just muted and blunt. I don't really feel misery as pure as I used to, nor do I feel the same joy I used to, it's like an inability to get lost in a moment without looking for an analytical context.
It's probably not the worst state of mind to be in, and undoubtedly more stable than how I was before, but it's an observation I've made all the same
Also, common courtesy is much less common than it should be
[QUOTE=Binsky;27285908]I think that's a lofty assumption to be made for an entire generation. I think it's unfair to think that all young people are like that. Try not to generalize[/QUOTE]
I know not [i]all[/i] of them are like that. But almost 85% that I've seen are. As I kid, I didn't have nearly as many influential attributions that there are today.
[QUOTE=Dopey Trout;27285968]If I'd come to this thread 6 months ago I probably would have written pages upon pages, just to say something. Nowadays the feelings I had before are just muted and blunt. I don't really feel misery as pure as I used to, nor do I feel the same joy I used to, it's like an inability to get lost in a moment without looking for an analytical context.
It's probably not the worst state of mind to be in, and undoubtedly more stable than how I was before, but it's an observation I've made all the same
Also, common courtesy is much less common than it should be[/QUOTE]
I'm glad you're more stable but what do you mean by looking for analytical context? Are you saying you can't simply enjoy a moment without over analyze the situation?
[QUOTE=Pascall;27285965]Thank you. I appreciate that.
I wish someone had opened doors and stuff for me when I was in a relationship. Too bad I was the man in that one and he was the girly one. Awkward. :v:[/QUOTE]
You're welcome. And yeah, that would be a bit awkward in a relationship. Actually very awkward.
I forget my manners a lot
:v:
I need to get this off my chest
Well, about 4-5 months ago, I asked this girl I really liked out, we'll call her S.
So a couple of months go by, and S breaks up with me, saying that she'd rather be friends, and that we hardly talked like we used to. I really thought this was strange.
Fast forward 2 weeks, my friends (who I couldn't live without) call me and tell me to meet them in one of the blocks in our school.
So I go over, and they are reluctant to tell me why they called me here (You'll see why)
Finally, my friend B, says "We're so sorry to tell you this, but S cheated on you behind your back with C (One of my mates, not anymore though)"
So days, weeks go by, I start to become pretty depressive.
S and I start to talk again, and we're okay friends now.
S then tells me she still loves me, and deep down, I do too. But I don't know if I can ever go back out with her for the thing she did.
Needed to get that off my chest a lot :)
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286013]I'm glad you're more stable but what do you mean by looking for analytical context? Are you saying you can't simply enjoy a moment without over analyze the situation?[/QUOTE]
It's more when I feel like I probably should feel, I can't help but think outside my current situation, I naturally distance myself from anything extreme I feel. It's not so much enjoying the situation I'm in, but more that everything just seems to be playing out with me in a little bubble, taking part but not devoted, if that makes sense. Or who knows, maybe I am mental :v:
[QUOTE=Identity;27286009]I know not [i]all[/i] of them are like that. But almost 85% that I've seen are. As I kid, I didn't have nearly as many influential attributions that there are today.[/QUOTE]
Still I don't think that's a fair assumption. I used to life guard at a pool for a long time and almost all the kids there were wonderful. They had great personalities and good manners. There were obviously some that misbehaved but I'm still not going to let a young person's bad decisions label them
[QUOTE=Identity;27286027]You're welcome. And yeah, that would be a bit awkward in a relationship. Actually very awkward.[/QUOTE]
I finally managed to get out of it after almost three years. It didn't start off that way, he was pretty manly, but after a while he just kind of... girlied up.
It was weird.
[QUOTE=Dopey Trout;27285968]If I'd come to this thread 6 months ago I probably would have written pages upon pages, just to say something. Nowadays the feelings I had before are just muted and blunt. I don't really feel misery as pure as I used to, nor do I feel the same joy I used to, it's like an inability to get lost in a moment without looking for an analytical context.
It's probably not the worst state of mind to be in, and undoubtedly more stable than how I was before, but it's an observation I've made all the same
Also, common courtesy is much less common than it should be[/QUOTE]
I don't know, I used to feel really down, and then I started ignoring everything I felt, hoping it'd go away if I thought the way you describe it. But after time it only got worse. I don't know if it's the same in your situation but just saying, don't bottle it up too badly.
[QUOTE=Identity;27285833]As do I. I guess it just really irks me with the younger crowd. The ones who just take things and leave, don't hold open doors, or pull out chairs for their girlfriends, etc.
Glad I was raised old-school.[/QUOTE]
I see people let doors slam in someone else's face all the time- is it really that hard to hold the door for a couple seconds. Same thing with pulling out chairs. It's easy, and polite- just do it people.
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286013]I'm glad you're more stable but what do you mean by looking for analytical context? Are you saying you can't simply enjoy a moment without over analyze the situation?[/QUOTE]
I think most of us are like that. What do we define as a moment?
I almost over analyze everything. Like when I see an ambulance going by with it's sirens on, I know that some where, right now, a person could be dying. I think he looks for reason in what he feels, or why he's feeling it. At a moment in time, most of us will ask ourselves why we feel and do the things that we do.
[QUOTE=Dopey Trout;27286054]It's more when I feel like I probably should feel, I can't help but think outside my current situation, I naturally distance myself from anything extreme I feel. It's not so much enjoying the situation I'm in, but more that everything just seems to be playing out with me in a little bubble, taking part but not devoted, if that makes sense. Or who knows, maybe I am mental :v:[/QUOTE]
Haha I don't think you're mental. Maybe try to reconnect yourself with yourself as wonky as that sounds. Why do you feel so disconnected?
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286056]Still I don't think that's a fair assumption. I used to life guard at a pool for a long time and almost all the kids there were wonderful. They had great personalities and good manners. There were obviously some that misbehaved but I'm still not going to let a young person's bad decisions label them[/QUOTE]
Wait, how young do you think I'm talking? Because I'm 18. I'm saying from 15-17. Not 14 and under. Lol.
[QUOTE=TheWarnman;27286052]I need to get this off my chest
Well, about 4-5 months ago, I asked this girl I really liked out, we'll call her S.
So a couple of months go by, and S breaks up with me, saying that she'd rather be friends, and that we hardly talked like we used to. I really thought this was strange.
Fast forward 2 weeks, my friends (who I couldn't live without) call me and tell me to meet them in one of the blocks in our school.
So I go over, and they are reluctant to tell me why they called me here (You'll see why)
Finally, my friend B, says "We're so sorry to tell you this, but S cheated on you behind your back with C (One of my mates, not anymore though)"
So days, weeks go by, I start to become pretty depressive.
S and I start to talk again, and we're okay friends now.
S then tells me she still loves me, and deep down, I do too. But I don't know if I can ever go back out with her for the thing she did.
Needed to get that off my chest a lot :)[/QUOTE]
Try talking to her about it and tell her that you can't be in a relationship with her unless you can trust her.
[editline]8th January 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Identity;27286106]Wait, how young do you think I'm talking? Because I'm 18. I'm saying from 15-17. Not 14 and under. Lol.[/QUOTE]
I'm talking about kids (and people of all ages really). It's wrong to make assumptions about people's character through actions that you perceive as bad. Maybe a person who didn't hold the door open for someone else didn't notice there was someone behind him. People are all dynamic, not static. It's impossible to know the whole story
[QUOTE=Pascall;27285828]I try to say thank you when I can, but where I'm from, nobody says thank you. Sure, you get the typical "manners" speech when growing up, but common courtesy isn't a thing around here. Or at least isn't a thing for me. No one ever thanked me for putting forth the effort to do things for other people when I was in high school. Not that I worked for a thank you, but it would have been nice.
I guess that's the only reason I kind of forget sometimes. People never thanked me so I find it hard to thank other people.[/QUOTE]
Well now I understand a bit better. I'm pretty sure I've thanked you for everything you've done for me in the past. But I'll thank you right now for being a great friend.
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286131]Try talking to her about it and tell her that you can't be in a relationship with her unless you can trust her.
[editline]8th January 2011[/editline]
I'm talking about kids (and people of all ages really). It's wrong to make assumptions about people's character through actions that you perceive as bad. Maybe a person who didn't hold the door open for someone else didn't notice there was someone behind him. People are all dynamic, not static. It's impossible to know the whole story[/QUOTE]
It is impossible to know the whole story, yes. But, when I see a 15 year old look back and still not hold a door, I know I'm not misunderstanding the situation.
[QUOTE=Identity;27286230]It is impossible to know the whole story, yes. But, when I see a 15 year old look back and still not hold a door, I know I'm not misunderstanding the situation.[/QUOTE]
Perhaps he's simply in a hurry? :v:
I for some reason can never state opinions on people. I don't look down or up on anyone no matter what they do.
[QUOTE=Makol;27286197]Well now I understand a bit better. I'm pretty sure I've thanked you for everything you've done for me in the past. But I'll thank you right now for being a great friend.[/QUOTE]
bros4life
[QUOTE=Identity;27286230]It is impossible to know the whole story, yes. But, when I see a 15 year old look back and still not hold a door, I know I'm not misunderstanding the situation.[/QUOTE]
Maybe he was in a rush of some sort. Regardless, I stand by what I said. You don't know what that fifteen year old has been through and even still that one person does not speak for any other group.
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286269]Maybe he was in a rush of some sort. Regardless, I stand by what I said. You don't know what that fifteen year old has been through and even still that one person does not speak for any other group.[/QUOTE]
Just because I frown upon them not holding open a door for someone, does not mean I completely dismiss them as a person. No one hear knows what I've been through, but I still do and say things out of my element. Like I said, only a few I've seen, because I haven't seen every single kid of the younger generation.
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286091]Haha I don't think you're mental. Maybe try to reconnect yourself with yourself as wonky as that sounds. Why do you feel so disconnected?[/QUOTE]
It's probably a defense mechanism. I used to feel manic depressive (I'm not saying I definitely had it, but it seemed likely according to my GP) and over time I guess I just grit my teeth through what I was feeling and turned inward. I used to offer advice a lot which meant opening myself up a lot to help people, I've done a lot less of that lately. Maybe my gritting my teeth has just muted my capacity to feel anything, like I'm just used to ignoring something.
[QUOTE=Dopey Trout;27286452]It's probably a defense mechanism. I used to feel manic depressive (I'm not saying I definitely had it, but it seemed likely according to my GP) and over time I guess I just grit my teeth through what I was feeling and turned inward. I used to offer advice a lot which meant opening myself up a lot to help people, I've done a lot less of that lately. Maybe my gritting my teeth has just muted my capacity to feel anything, like I'm just used to ignoring something.[/QUOTE]
This is how it went for me. Make sure not to ignore it all too much, let it out and don't let the bad feelings get to you.
[QUOTE=Identity;27286327]Just because I frown upon them not holding open a door for someone, does not mean I completely dismiss them as a person. No one hear knows what I've been through, but I still do and say things out of my element. Like I said, only a few I've seen, because I haven't seen every single kid of the younger generation.[/QUOTE]
I don't want to argue but earlier you had said that "People take things for granted these days." and "I know not all of them are like that. But almost 85% that I've seen are." To me that sounds like you are dismissing the generation as a whole and horribly stereotyping, which is unfair and I'm sorry but fairly ignorant. Many people in the past had shit manners too, it's not a new thing. A lot of kids are still learning at that age and are still socially awkward. Like I said I don't want to argue and this will probably the last thing i say about this so we don't derail the thread.
[editline]8th January 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Dopey Trout;27286452]It's probably a defense mechanism. I used to feel manic depressive (I'm not saying I definitely had it, but it seemed likely according to my GP) and over time I guess I just grit my teeth through what I was feeling and turned inward. I used to offer advice a lot which meant opening myself up a lot to help people, I've done a lot less of that lately. Maybe my gritting my teeth has just muted my capacity to feel anything, like I'm just used to ignoring something.[/QUOTE]
I can understand that. Trust me, though, you want to experience everything in life, the good and bad. It's what makes everything so rewarding.
[QUOTE=Binsky;27280122]So are interested in her solely as a friend or maybe romantically? I really enjoyed reading that, though. It was really sweet and I'm kind of happy your parents got back together and (hopefully) sorted everything out. And if you do decide you like Clara romantically that would make it substantially less awkward since she won't be a sister-in-law. I know you said she was like a sister but still[/QUOTE]
I really can't see her as a romantic interest, she's older than me by 3 years.
Either way, I don't think it would've worked, after those years.
[QUOTE=Binsky;27286605]I can understand that. Trust me, though, you want to experience everything in life, the good and bad. It's what makes everything so rewarding.[/QUOTE]
Agreed, I'm just not entirely sure how to "open myself up" again as it were. I'm not antisocial or unpopular, it's just a feeling I get. Perhaps it's just malaise
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