The Never Ending Dungeon V2: Now with 50% less waiting (hopefully)

[Jericho_Rus]

I use my portable Boxing Gloves to make an uppercut to rip the Dragon's Head off.

[Xane]

I pray for the great god Craig to bless my mighty Dwarven hammer with the power to heal allies. And then I drink some ale.

[The Winner]

I sacrifice a virgin to the lightning god in hopes of his blessing.

[Xane]

[QUOTE=The Winner;28124025]I sacrifice a virgin to the lightning god in hopes of his blessing.[/QUOTE]
A worthy sacrifice to a god as great as Craig indeed. Surely he will grand you his blessing.

[Nubsy]

Peg it away from the SPESS MEHRINES. Yelling discouraging insults as I go.

[Jakkalen]

Because I lost my head I blindly kick in the direction of my enemies, hoping to hit something. I also hope that some party member could help me somehow

[SinjinOmega]

Healing everyone!

[Rexen]

As the creature of Havoc, I take a mighty swing at the weakened Dragon.

[DrBones]

I peacefully watch the battle from a fold-up lawn chair in the back of the room, eating some heavily buttered popcorn.

[backwardspy]

Fuck yeah crit roll, finally! :3:

[B]Command>[/B] [I]I charge at the bear flailing my blade, hoping to do some damage[/I]

[Mr Anderson]

I show my black wardens the power of post-modern weaponry

[nouvellehalf]

[QUOTE=SinjinOmega;28128097]Healing everyone![/QUOTE]

what the fuck

I'm the Generic Elven Healing Druid here, not you.

I buff everyone's total damage resistance by twenty percent.

[Trounark]

I use the rocket launcher as a club against the dragon.

[PrivateNomad]

I Aim the [B]ASHPD™[/B] at the bear and fire a portal below him, Then fire a portal above a conviently placed spike pit in an attempt to impale him.

[Rsam]

[B]Commands[/B]
b0b0: I set all the enemy hit points to 00,000.00000
Roll: 10: I don't get it. It somehow works! but only sets enemy hit points to 500.

Bl1tzX: I take a bite on a mystical sandwich.
Roll: 7: You make yourself one hell of a sandwich which regains you back to full Hp

Cookie53: I use my Cold Fusion Gun onto the Pissed off Dragon while doing that play a random guitar solo.
Roll: 6: You blast off a shot that kills the Dragon.

Disgruntled: Unload all 12 shots into the dragon.
Roll: -: You unload all 12 shots into the dead dragon.

SPESS MEHRINE: I rip one of the disloyal SPESS MEHRINES in half with my bare goddamn hands.
Roll: 8: You grab the last SPESS MEHRINE bending and riping him in half.

Elizer: I channel The Bear Jew (from Inglorious Basterds) and start attacking the SPESS MEHRINES.
Roll: -: Too late SPESS MEHRINE already killed them.

Crossu88: I pop out of fucking nowhere and shoot a SPESS MEHRINE in the foot for 30 damage.
Roll: -: You shoot a dead SPESS MEHRINE in the foot.

Jericho_Rus: I use my portable Boxing Gloves to make an uppercut to rip the Dragon's Head off.
Roll: -: Well you rip the Dragon's Head off.

Xane: I pray for the great god Craig to bless my mighty Dwarven hammer with the power to heal allies. And then I drink some ale.
Roll: 5: You pray to your god Craig he is somewhat pleased towards you but does not bless your hammer.

The Winner: I sacrifice a virgin to the lightning god in hopes of his blessing.
Roll: 7: You sacrifice a virgin to the lightning god not Zeus but to the greater god Craig anyway he blesses you.

Nubsy: Peg it away from the SPESS MEHRINES. Yelling discouraging insults as I go.
Roll: -: You Peg it away from the SPESS MEHRINES. Yelling discouraging insults as you go.

Ray551: Because I lost my head I blindly kick in the direction of my enemies, hoping to hit something. I also hope that some party member could help me somehow
Roll: 6: You kick in every direction and in doing so you kick the bear's balls for 250 dmg.

SinjinOmega: Healing everyone!
Roll: 4: You heal nobody!

Rexen: As the creature of Havoc, I take a mighty swing at the weakened Dragon.
Roll: -: You swing at the dead Dragon.

eatdembeanz: I peacefully watch the battle from a fold-up lawn chair in the back of the room, eating some heavily buttered popcorn.
Roll: 5: Shit! You spill all of the popcorn on yourself.

Chris220: I charge at the bear flailing my blade, hoping to do some damage
Roll: 7: You charge You stab You kill the bear.

Mr Anderson: I show my black wardens the power of post-modern weaponry
Roll: 6: You show the black wardens the power of post-modern weaponry. They seem to get the idea. This also buffs their Hp up by a 1,000.

I buff everyone's total damage resistance by twenty percent.
Roll: 8: You buffed everyone's total damage resistance by 18 percent. (TDR +18%)

Trounark: I use the rocket launcher as a club against the dragon.
Roll: -: You beat the shit out of the dragon's dead body.

PrivateNomad: I Aim the ASHPD™ at the bear and fire a portal below him, Then fire a portal above a conviently placed spike pit in an attempt to impale him.
Roll: -: You fire portals at the dead bear that ends up impaling him.

[B]Party Members[/B]

SPESS MEHRINE: 1000/1,000
[B]Devil deal pending, +6 Speed, +3 Strength,TDR +18% [/B]

erik802: 450/1,000
[B]+3 Strength, hidden,TDR +18%[/B]

TrulliLulli: 1,350/1,500 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

BLUcody: 150/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Skunky: 1000/1000
[B]HATES b0b0. +3 Strength, TDR +18%[/B]

Eva-1337: 1,000/1,000
[B]+3 Strength +5 Defense,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Bromega513: 1000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

SilverBullet: 1000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Nitrowing: 1,250/1,250
[B]Strange yellow colour,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Crazy Ivan: 1,300/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Elizer: 1,000/1,000
[B]Inventory: AFK Gun.+3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Rsam: 150/1,000
[B]Inventory: Small Phial,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Combiner8761: 650/1,000
[B]Intelligence +100, +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]
[B]Upgraded Power harvester cannon™[/B]

Rexen: 5,000/5,000
[B]Can heal others for 100hp or heal himself for 200hp. +13 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

theseltsamone 850/1,000
[B]+5 Odour (Abilities: Regeneration),[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MakoSkyDub: 1,700/1,700
[B]+2 Dexterity, (Inventory: Leeching Gauntlet, Nitrowing's Pants),[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Trounark: 650/1,000
[B]Inventory: Golden Rocket Launcher (Clip size of 4, +50 points of damage). 0 rockets. +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Ray551: 1,100/1,100
[B]Mental 20 GOLDEN COINS, UNCUT SAPPHIRE, Sword, +3 Strength, Headless,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

EqueL: 1,000/1,000
[B]Abilities: Organics (Unavailable for 5 turns), +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

NecroBiologist: 600/1,000
[B]+3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MichaelBrandow: 1,000/1,000
[B]+2 Intelligence,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

KingOfScience: 925/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Onforty: 1,200/1,500 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Ohforf: 1,000/1,000
[B]5+ Intelligence,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Disgruntled: 1,000/1,000
[B]Inventory: Revolver x2,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

UnamusedRussian: 1,000/1,000
[B]+3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Maximo13: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Dustinm16: 100/1,000
[B]Crapped Pants[/B]
[B]FATTER THAN GABEN.,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Lufttygger306: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

LieutenantLeo: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Darth_GW7: 1,000/1,000
[B]NOT POISONED DUMB FUCKS, +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Shadoxa: 1000/1000
[B]Inventory: Iris Shroud. +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Chrisl: 1,000/1,000
[B]+10 Charisma,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

killa747: 1,000/1,000
[B]+3 Intelligence, +3 Strength[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Sl344: 850/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MrDestroyer: 750/1,000
[B]ROBOT ARMOR[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Bl1tzX: 1000/1,000
[B]Inventory: MP Magazine (+10 Speech on user) +5 STRENGTH +2 Defence, Sharp Sword[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

ROFLBURGER: 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MEOWTFLOL: 1,300/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Chris220: 1000/1,000
[B]Inventory: +3 Strength[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

SinjinOmega: 500/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

GoldenGnome: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Superkill307: 1000/1,000 [B]YOU ARE A PENIS, BLIND,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]
[B]+3 Strength[/B]

Cookie53: 700/1,000
[B]Can play awesome guitar solos[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

RaveRaze: 800/1,000
[B]+3 Strength[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Thethe: 1,000/1,00 [B]KITTEN KILLER[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

B0b0: 1,000/1,000 [B]HATED BY SKUNKY[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]
[B]+3 Strength[/B]

FreddiRox: 990/1,000 [B]Covered in bruises and late.[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Mr Anderson: 1,000/1,000
[B]+10 LUCK[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

PHrag 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Arctic-Zone 1200/1200 [b]+4 agility, +3 endurance[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

PrivateNomad 500/1000 [b]+2 endurance, Got the Portal Device[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Orckrast 800/800 [B]Got balls that belong to some animal.[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Killer112 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Nubsy 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

AeroSinthetic 1000/1000 [b]+5 Courage[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

EFG 900/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

sonictrey 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Teracotta 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MutantBadger: 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Ven Kaeo 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Jericho_Rus 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Crossu88 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

The Winner 1000/1000 [b]blessed by Craig[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

eatdembeanz 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

[B]Allies[/B]
Old Chinese Lady 500/500
Post-modern Black Wardens 21,000/21,000 [B]Under command by (Mr Anderson)[/B]

[B]Foes[/b]
Pissed off Dragon 0/100,000 [B]Dead[/b]
Bear 0/10,000 [b]Dead[/B]
Disloyal SPESS MEHRINES 0/6,000 [B]Dead[/b]

[nouvellehalf]

Woo, onto the next room thing whatever something! :v:

[SPESS MEHRINE]

Next foe should be Kim Jong-il

[b0b0]

Next is aliens from space.

[b]COMMAND>[/b] I tell everyone, "Your welcome" and then type impulse 101 in the MCP.

[Rsam]

After a long stressful match the FP party goes fourth to a random location. On the way they meet the Asian asshole known as Kim Jong-il, A few god damn aliens from space and lastly the greedy bastard known as Bobby Kotick
[B]Foes[/B]
Bobby Kotick 125,000/125,000
Kim Jong-il 125,000/125,000
Illegal aliens from space 50,000/50,000
---
New batch of foes, You know what has to be done!

[Synapseudo]

I swing my sharp, great sword at the heads of the illegal aliens.

[Elizer]

I attempt to channel The Bear Jew again and take a swing with my bat at Kotick's big, fat, stupid fucking face.

[SPESS MEHRINE]

I force Bobby Kotick to watch as I remotely drop a nuclear bomb on to Activision headquarters, breaking his resolve and making him slit his own wrists.

[Disgruntled]

Reload.
(No dice roll necessary, takes up one turn.)

[Cookie53]

i Combine my Electro Lazor with my Cold Fussion Gun With a Dark Matter generator to create The Devastator.

[Rsam]

[B]Commands[/B]
Bl1tzX: I swing my sharp, great sword at the heads of the illegal aliens.
Roll: 5: The aliens with great reflex dodge your sword and retaliates with a plasma shot from their guns that do 250 dmg.

Elizer: I attempt to channel The Bear Jew again and take a swing with my bat at Kotick's big, fat, stupid fucking face.
Roll: 7: You channel The Bear Jew and swing the bat so hard that it hits him for 500 dmg.

SPESS MEHRINE: I force Bobby Kotick to watch as I remotely drop a nuclear bomb on to Activision headquarters, breaking his resolve and making him slit his own wrists.
Roll: 6: You drop a nuclear bomb on Activision's HQ but Kotick remarks by saying [I]I will just buy a new one.[/I]

Disgruntled: Reload.
Roll: 3: You manage to reload however in the process one of the aliens fires a plasma shot so hot that it melts your face off for 500 dmg.

Cookie53: i Combine my Electro Lazor with my Cold Fussion Gun With a Dark Matter generator to create The Devastator.
Roll: 8: Yet another successful combination. You make The Devastator.

[B]Party Members[/B]

SPESS MEHRINE: 1000/1,000
[B]Devil deal pending, +6 Speed, +3 Strength,TDR +18% [/B]

erik802: 450/1,000
[B]+3 Strength, hidden,TDR +18%[/B]

TrulliLulli: 1,350/1,500 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

BLUcody: 150/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Skunky: 1000/1000
[B]HATES b0b0. +3 Strength, TDR +18%[/B]

Eva-1337: 1,000/1,000
[B]+3 Strength +5 Defense,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Bromega513: 1000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

SilverBullet: 1000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Nitrowing: 1,250/1,250
[B]Strange yellow colour,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Crazy Ivan: 1,300/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Elizer: 1,000/1,000
[B]Inventory: AFK Gun.+3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Rsam: 150/1,000
[B]Inventory: Small Phial,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Combiner8761: 650/1,000
[B]Intelligence +100, +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]
[B]Upgraded Power harvester cannon™[/B]

Rexen: 5,000/5,000
[B]Can heal others for 100hp or heal himself for 200hp. +13 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

theseltsamone 850/1,000
[B]+5 Odour (Abilities: Regeneration),[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MakoSkyDub: 1,700/1,700
[B]+2 Dexterity, (Inventory: Leeching Gauntlet, Nitrowing's Pants),[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Trounark: 650/1,000
[B]Inventory: Golden Rocket Launcher (Clip size of 4, +50 points of damage). 0 rockets. +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Ray551: 1,100/1,100
[B]Mental 20 GOLDEN COINS, UNCUT SAPPHIRE, Sword, +3 Strength, Headless,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

EqueL: 1,000/1,000
[B]Abilities: Organics (Unavailable for 5 turns), +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

NecroBiologist: 600/1,000
[B]+3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MichaelBrandow: 1,000/1,000
[B]+2 Intelligence,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

KingOfScience: 925/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Onforty: 1,200/1,500 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Ohforf: 1,000/1,000
[B]5+ Intelligence,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Disgruntled: 500/1,000
[B]Inventory: Revolver x2,[/B] [b]TDR +18%, Face-Melted[/b]

UnamusedRussian: 1,000/1,000
[B]+3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Maximo13: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Dustinm16: 100/1,000
[B]Crapped Pants[/B]
[B]FATTER THAN GABEN.,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Lufttygger306: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

LieutenantLeo: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Darth_GW7: 1,000/1,000
[B]NOT POISONED DUMB FUCKS, +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Shadoxa: 1000/1000
[B]Inventory: Iris Shroud. +3 Strength,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Chrisl: 1,000/1,000
[B]+10 Charisma,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

killa747: 1,000/1,000
[B]+3 Intelligence, +3 Strength[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Sl344: 850/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MrDestroyer: 750/1,000
[B]ROBOT ARMOR[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Bl1tzX: 750/1,000
[B]Inventory: MP Magazine (+10 Speech on user) +5 STRENGTH +2 Defence, Sharp Sword[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

ROFLBURGER: 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MEOWTFLOL: 1,300/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Chris220: 1000/1,000
[B]Inventory: +3 Strength[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

SinjinOmega: 500/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

GoldenGnome: 1,000/1,000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Superkill307: 1000/1,000 [B]YOU ARE A PENIS, BLIND,[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]
[B]+3 Strength[/B]

Cookie53: 700/1,000
[B]Can play awesome guitar solos[/B],Has The Devastator [b]TDR +18%[/b]

RaveRaze: 800/1,000
[B]+3 Strength[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Thethe: 1,000/1,00 [B]KITTEN KILLER[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

B0b0: 1,000/1,000 [B]HATED BY SKUNKY[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]
[B]+3 Strength[/B]

FreddiRox: 990/1,000 [B]Covered in bruises and late.[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Mr Anderson: 1,000/1,000
[B]+10 LUCK[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

PHrag 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Arctic-Zone 1200/1200 [b]+4 agility, +3 endurance[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

PrivateNomad 500/1000 [b]+2 endurance, Got the Portal Device[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Orckrast 800/800 [B]Got balls that belong to some animal.[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Killer112 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Nubsy 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

AeroSinthetic 1000/1000 [b]+5 Courage[/B] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

EFG 900/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

sonictrey 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Teracotta 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

MutantBadger: 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Ven Kaeo 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Jericho_Rus 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

Crossu88 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

The Winner 1000/1000 [b]blessed by Craig[/b] [b]TDR +18%[/b]

eatdembeanz 1000/1000 [b]TDR +18%[/b]

[B]Allies[/B]
Old Chinese Lady 500/500
Post-modern Black Wardens 21,000/21,000 [B]Under command by (Mr Anderson)[/B]

[B]Foes[/B]
Bobby Kotick 124,500/125,000
Kim Jong-il 125,000/125,000
Illegal aliens from space 50,000/50,000

[Teracotta]

Since my bolter is fixed, I precede to shoot the fuck out of the enemies with mass reactive shells. They explode btw.

Can you add my bolter, sword, and armor to my inventory? Armor should be +2 defense and the weapons +2 attack.

[Ven Kaeo]

I begin casting unholy necromantic spells to bring an undead army to life on our side under my command.

[SPESS MEHRINE]

I fuck Bobby Kotick with a rake.

[Crossu88]

I take aim at an ILLEGAL ALIEN FROM SPACE, me. Being not so smart fires 4 rounds after that.

[Cookie53]

I fire my Devastator at Bobby Kortick In hopes of saving the gaming community, sorta.