• Weird Kids At Your School v2 dude wtf are you masturbating in band class
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[QUOTE=LTJGPliskin;47220199]There's this weird kid at my school named Andrew. He's totally fucking obsessed with Bruce Campbell and Evil Dead, he has like, 4 copies of Army of Darkness. He's a total fucking frea- oh wait, that's me.[/QUOTE] Haha nice one [QUOTE=Nightscout;47208220]This thread is for weird kids, not awesome ones.[/QUOTE] Wearing a tux when everyone else is just wearing normal clothes is pretty awkward
So I've got a massive backlog about my former roommate, let's just call him P. Now P and I roomed together last semester; there were two bedrooms in my dorm (one held three guys, the other held me and P). This semester, one of the three cool guys moved out, so I moved in, leaving P with a new suitemate. I feel bad for the guy, but it had to be done. There's a few good stories I've got, but I don't want a wall of text, so I'll just post 'em one at a time and you guys can tell me if you want more, s'alright? First off, I gotta describe P accurately to set the scene. He looks like Randy from Trailer Park Boys. Hairy hairy mother fucker, like 80% torso (despite not being built at ALL), most likely the shortest guy in the apartment (I'd guess he's around 5' 6"). He's always coughing or burping or farting or making some kind of ambient noise; when he'd turn in for the night, I remember hearing him just making ambient chewing sounds while he went to sleep. Even now I can hear him clear his throat every thirty seconds through our paper-thin walls. P is also the angriest virgin I've ever seen. All the time, he'll be on the phone with someone (maybe his mom, maybe a friend), complaining in his nasal "California surfer but with a sinus cold" voice how "every bitch in Rowan has a boy-frieeeend". He says some pretty gross shit about ladies, and I'm one of the least SJW people I know. We also suspect he doesn't care much for minorities or gays, considering how often he says "that's gay" or "no homo". All he needs is a fedora and he'd look like the biggest Tumblr strawman ever brought to life. One time, a suit he ordered from Men's Warehouse didn't arrive on time. Apparently, this was because of "the gawd-damn mexicans". Basically, P is the definitive loser who believes wholeheartedly that he's a jock. He always asks the 21 and older guys in the apartment if they "got wicked shit-faced" over the weekend. And I barely ever see him do any homework. A few times he asked for help because he didn't understand how fractions worked. P is not that bright. He has no style, he has no grace, etc. etc. Now that that's over, I give you one of my personal favorite P adventures... [b][u]THE ALCHEMY STORY[/u][/b] So me and P are both in the room, sitting on our computers. I'm dicking about in Skyrim, he's writing a paper. He leans over to me and says "heyyy, how do you spell alchemy?" Well shit, I'm playing Skyrim, damn right I know how to spell alchemy. "A-L-C-H-E-M-Y. Alchemy" "...c-can you spell it slower?" "A... L... C... H... E... M... Y." And there's a pause. A good ten, fifteen seconds. "...N-no." "What?" "No, that's not how you spell it." Now I'm thoroughly perplexed. "Yeah dude, that's how you spell alchemy." And then P says something amazing. Something utterly incredible. [sp]"No, like, to ALCHEMATE someone to a new environment?"[/sp] Yeah. He's a 21-year-old college student. Guy can go buy a gun and adopt a baby and shit, and THAT'S what he's working with upstairs. If you guys want, I've got literally months of stories of this guy I can post: -Curse of the Vom-Pire -Wasabi Seeds -Star Spangled Man With a Plan -The Quest for a Shower Mat -other assorted moments in time that don't really necessitate an entire title
Post 'em all.
Alright, so I have two stories that I just remembered. The first one revolves around these two guys, John and Tyler (both pretty common names so I won't change them). It was seventh grade year and I still hadn't gotten out of my shell yet, I was bullied a lot for whatever reason in elementary school, so in middle school I still refused to talk to most people, but I also couldn't tell people to fuck off if need be. So, I became the victim of this guy, John. He usually became unhealthily attached to one student and would basically stalk them for a month or so until he was told by them to go away. In seventh grade we have to take a FACS class, and I have the class with both John and Tyler. We had a partner system and at the very beginning of the year I was partnered up with John. I was nice to him so I guess he took a liking to me. For the rest of that entire year he would not leave me alone. He would follow me down the hallway and appear out of fucking nowhere and just tap my shoulder and walk right up behind me going, "Gabrielle. Gabrielle. Gabrielle." Until I would answer. So I dealt with this on the daily, every passing period, every class I had with him, at lunch, and so on. He would always ask for my phone number so we could hang out but that was the one thing I stood my ground on, always telling him I was grounded or whatever. This is where the story gets good. I got partnered with Tyler in FACS and HE took a liking to me as well. Tyler wasn't as weird, he just always talked about the massive bass he would catch when he went fishing, (but when he showed us pictures they would be pretty dang pathetic). Doing essentially the same thing as John but not as frequently and his own different way. One day, while heading to our seats, John approaches me and begins his shoulder rapping and "Gabrielle"-ing when, suddenly, Tyler spins around, his face bright red. Tyler YELLS, "can't you see she doesn't like you?!" provoking John to fight back with "she doesn't like YOU!" and so on. I stand by in horror as these two guys essentially fight over me in the middle of class. I had no clue what to do. Other, much shorter, story. I had class with this girl who threatened everyone all of the time. This was in eighth grade, where I had somehow transitioned from being shy (as seen above) and unable to stand up for myself, to a much more comfortable and confident person. I was seated next to this girl whose name I do not remember (let's call her Sarah) in biology. Sarah was pretty quiet (for the most part), liked anime a lot, and was extremely angry. Like I said, she threatened anyone without any sort of provocation, you give this girl one funny look and you're dead to her. So, one day, our teacher is passing out scissors and she gives Sarah a pair. Without even a second of waiting, Sarah looks up and in a completely monotonous voice says, "you shouldn't have given me these, I'm going to slice open Gabii's wrists with them." And, I, having already dealt with her shenanigans for half of a year, spin around, hold out my arms, and say, "do it. End my misery so I can hear your words no longer." in this absolutely dramatic and rude-as-possible fashion. Sarah did nothing, she sat back down and was angry the whole day after that. From then on I was her target, but every time she threatened to kill me I would ask her to do it, she never did, thankfully. (In all seriousness that was a pretty dumb move on my part, who knows? She might have really done it) (also she wrote a hit list and left it on the floor on "accident" and when the teacher found it my mom was called because I was number two on the list, I wonder who beat me to the top...)
[QUOTE=Cyr;47221500]Stories[/QUOTE] Those are equal parts hilarious, adorable, and horrifying. [editline]26th February 2015[/editline] Okay, people seemed to like the first P story, so I'll begin posting more (though I'll try to stick to one at a time, to avoid the aformentioned wall of text). This one is the story of P's reaction to my Halloween costume. So last year, I went all-out on my Halloween costume, and I think it looked pretty damn schnazzy. I got a sick bomber jacket for Christmas the year before that and decided to incorporate it into a World War II-Era Captain America costume. I got a plastic army helmet and painted it, made a giant shield, it was all pretty involved (really, it was more amateur, budget cosplay than it was a simply Halloween costume). For reference, this was the end result: [IMG]http://i1189.photobucket.com/albums/z424/BanthaFodder95/4c9ed678-f17d-48b2-82e1-afd6d9028422_zps4jdoyano.jpg[/IMG] Not bad for a load of cheap clothes, spraypaint, and cardboard, eh? So it got so involved that I ended up bringing all the components back to school with me so I could finish it on campus. Finally, about two weeks before Halloween, I finally finish it. I put it all on, admire my handy work in the mirror, take a few pics, all that jazz. P knew of my costume (I'd told him about it a few times and he saw the shield and all lying around), and at this point he walks into the room to see me in full Captain America regalia. He looks at me and says, "[sp]So are you going as Superman?[/sp]" I'm honestly not making this up. That's just the kinda guy P is.
I just remembered this excursion that my year went on in year six, which was to go to the place that was in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and used to be a mining town during the Australian gold rush. Due to its tiny size, wildlife such as kangaroos and the like were quite common, and their turds were even more common. The camp counselor said that stepping on the poops was no big deal because it was mostly grass (grass that was brown and smelled like shit, mind you). This prompted a group of kids to begin picking some up and throwing the poops at each other during the lunch break. Some then went on to smear it on their faces and one bright star even went so far as to eat some kangaroo poop.
I met someone who spoke only in iambic pentameter today. He was so obnoxious.
There's 3 people in my high school that you could call "cringeworthy". 1. I don't really know his name, so let's call him Edward, okay? So Edward is this type of guy who constantly stockpiles for food at the cafeteria. He'll ask anyone on a table if they want there fruit or anything he could stuff in his hands. Sounds a bit normal so far, right? Wrong, he then sits down with girls and start talking about how he wants to make a portrait of them in their sleep. He'll even do this to guys, as he himself went up to me and told me the same thing, but with me in a panda costume. 2. This girl that was in my Spanish 2 class and often never did her work due to being a huge weeaboo. Stereotypical fat and having messy hair, she often drew hers OCs in class and often talk to another girl of Shipping of their OC with a character from a popular anime. I do remember she once said she was making a comic where her OC gets killed by a character for "love". 3. Another girl was once a friend of one of my friends. Let's call her Anna, okay? So Anna often wore very tacky clothes, had fake blonde hair, and usually wore fox ears. The real bad part about her is that she often made rape jokes which were completely unfunny and made me cringe, with one with her yelling out "RAPE!!!" out loud during lunch. My friend quickly realized that and left Anna ever since.
[QUOTE=arbio22;47222523]I met someone who spoke only in iambic pentameter today. He was so obnoxious.[/QUOTE] Dude that's not weird, that's fucking impressive.
[QUOTE=LTJGPliskin;47220199]There's this weird kid at my school named Andrew. He's totally fucking obsessed with Bruce Campbell and Evil Dead, he has like, 4 copies of Army of Darkness. He's a total fucking frea- oh wait, that's me.[/QUOTE] If we're going to talk about ourselves being weird people, elixwhitetail sent me a picture of tits in class with no warning, and I opened it up in front of everybody sitting behind me. It took me a second to process that I was staring at a pair of fantastic knockers.
I used to be the weird one back in Primary School. Used to watch a ton of dinosaur films and godzilla 98, so I generally used to act like a dinosaur. :v:
This bitch I'm gonna call WeirdTits McDumbBroad, or Whore for short. She had an overall nice look but, has her name suggest, had weird but somewhat big boobs. Now you'd think she was pretty popular for that reason, but NOBODY liked her, and here's why. First of all, she often used her physique as a "get everything she wants for free" card. It rarely worked, because she was in a class of people with more intelligence than a regular jock, so we all thought she was a fucking slut. Second, she was crazy like a squirrel on coke on fire. Here's a little story. My buddy had a surgery to remove his wisdom teeth. He still had the threads in his mouth to close the wounds, and took painkillers. So we were working in the small room that was made for that, when Whore comes in. Nothing too exciting happens until my friend mentions his surgery to the others in the room. So Whore took that as a cue to slap him in the face for no reason other than to be a dumb bitch. So my friend's sutures rupture, he bleeds from his gum and the pain flares up. He had enough control to not hit back as a reflex, he told me after. He then say to Whore "You touch me like that again and I won't back down to fuck you up!" then gets out of the room to treat the pain and sutures. Then Whore looks around laughing like "What, I didn't do anything wrong" She also had a tendency to talk loud over the phone to maker her interesting and have attention I guess (I guess I can update her name to Attention Whore). So one day we were working on a project in the computer lab, everything was quiet-ish, we were all concentrating on work. I had earphones to listen to music while working. So Whore walks down the hallway (the door of our class was open to let heat out) and she was talking in her cell real loud. I think it was to complain to her mom about something. So, everyone turns around to the general direction of the door, looking really annoyed. And me, even with earphones, I actually was hearing her. I was tired of her shit, so I took off my earphones, and shouted out of the class "SHUT THE FUCK UP' WE ARE WORKING HERE, UNLIKE YOU!". She proceeded to do as told and everyone laughed then resumed work. I guess she had what she wanted (attention at any cost) so she stopped talking loud for no reason. I swear she lived just to get attention. The year later she failed most of her classes and went a floor down in another group. So, I guess she wasn't weird, just fucking annoying.
[QUOTE=arbio22;47222523]I met someone who spoke only in iambic pentameter today. He was so obnoxious.[/QUOTE] How would you even notice that? English tends to fall pretty neatly into iambic pentameter anyway.
[QUOTE=DEMONSKUL;47218382]Ok first, I don't mean to be rude but use periods and commas. that shit is hard to read Second, I guess stabbing someone while roid raging is a good reason to be expelled[/QUOTE] Yeah I didn't really try sorry.
New day, time for a new P story! This one's long as hell, but it's got a DOOZY of a payoff. I call this one [b][u]THE CURSE OF THE VOM-PIRE![/u][/b] So a few weeks ago, I'm going to bed way later than I should have (my first class was around 9 the next morning, it was just after midnight). So I crawl into my top bunk and I hear some pretty gnarly coughing coming from the bathroom. One of my roommates, let's call him J, was still on his computer playing Minecraft with his friends. I hear him say on his mic, "oh yeah, P is having himself a vom". Now I'm not a malicious person by any means. Throwing up fucking sucks. But this being P, I still thought it was pretty damn funny. I thought it was less funny when I realized I had to pee. So I'm laying there for a while, listening to P have a hard time while I'm trying to trick myself into not having to pee so I can go to sleep. About an hour later, it's no good. I must pee. I haven't heard any coughing for a while, so I figure I'm good to go. I get down and head to the bathroom, only to find the door is still closed. I glance through the grating on the bottom of the door and see that there's SOMETHING on the floor. It kinda looked like legs. So I think, "fuck, it's late, but I wouldn't forgive myself if he Jimmi Hendrix'd himself" and go get my glasses. [sp]It was the shower mat, my eyes are terrible.[/sp] So I wait a minute later and out comes P, in nothing but his underpants (I'm used to it, he strolls around in his panties all the time), a big piss stain on the crotch (don't ask why I looked, I don't know either). We just sorta look at each other solemnly, I squeeze past him to go relieve myself. Now, it wasn't that bad. He appeared to have made some effort to clean it up, but it wasn't clean by any means. There was some nastiness encrusted on the seat, in the bowl, even a little on the handle. The shower mat was basically trashed. So I stepped carefully, did my business, and went back to bed. The dude just had a hard time and it was after 1am, I wasn't gonna bust his balls over this now. Next morning, I get up bright and early to get ready. Naturally, it's all still there. No matter, I sidestep it, get my shit done. But now I notice a red solo cup filled halfway with barf, precariously balanced on top of the recycling. I wonder why a person would ever do this and go to class, feeling oddly sad for mankind. I come back later (having already used the bathroom in one of the educational buildings), thinking that he probably hasn't cleaned up. I step inside the dorm and there's that solo cup. Not a good sign. So I do nothing for a while before I start to notice that it's beginning to smell a bit. By this point, it was well into the afternoon and P still hadn't made an effort to clean it up. I'm a nice person, so again, I'm not gonna give him too hard a time for this. But I am NOT gonna clean it up. So I go in and spray chemicals all over, hoping to neutralize the stench a bit. It sorta helps. P sees me leaving the bathroom and apologizes if he kept me up. I say it's no big deal and he says he'll clean it all up "when he gets back", then heads off to class. That's a little later than I would have liked, but whatever, at least he's gonna do it. So a few hours go by, I'm dicking about online, and I decide to see if he's cleaned it. Huzzah! It is done! He actually did a pretty thorough job of it too, I was impressed. UNTIL LATER THAT NIGHT... It's late and we're all about to turn in for the evening. J had already left for the weekend, so it was just me and my other roommate, N (who does ROTC). J and N are both really cool guys and we all share a mutual loathing of P, so naturally we're talking about his toilet troubles last night. N informs me that P was totally obliterated (or as P would say, "wicked shitfaced"). We agree that we're not really mad at him for spewing, it happens to everybody, yadda yadda yadda. I say something to the effect of "yeah, at least he cleaned it up though", to which N responds "OH, you don't know?" So I think, oh Christ, what could this possibly mean. N asks me what P told me when he said he'd clean it up. [i]"I'll clean it up when I get back."[/i], then he went to class. N then explains to me that P [sp]is going home for the weekend.[/sp] [sp]He meant that he would clean it up when he got back, after the weekend. 3-4 days later.[/sp] So P's plan was to let that shit just ferment in the bathroom (a bathroom HE wouldn't have to use, mind) over the course of a few days, THEN he'd clean it up. He made the mistake of telling J his plan, who told N, who threatened to report P to housing. And thus, it was magically done BEFORE the weekend. Sympathy-wise, P took one step forward, then hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back.
Wow, if i was you, after knowing that he would wait that long to clean up, I would have smack his ass hard. can't stand lazy shits like that, especially when it's about cleaning his own vomit
A few years below me at school there was this fat little Indian kid everyone used to bully. He waddled like a penguin and made weird noises. He was actually a nice kid, and I stook up for him once when he was being called a 'paki'. He was always in trouble for some pointless shit. My mate at school once spent the entirety of an art class setting up a blacksmiths in the classroom and 'forging' himself a suit of armour that he was then forced to wear all of lunch time. There's also the guy who was totally bald and spent all of his time doing drugs. This kid was an autostic genius when it came to maths but I seen him fondle himself to flight simulator in the common room a few times. He also has a printing fetish and there's a picture of him on facebook in his room with stacks of printer paper up to the ceiling. He was always caught masturbating in class and would hang around the toilets because he would get off to the noise of the fans. One tome he randomly theew a mug at some kids just missing them, smoked a joint in the common room, and made a 'tazer' out of some nails, a battery of some sort and an electric drill. Kid had some major issues and he was supposed to go on jeremy kyle because his mum supposedly pissed in his milk. He also had a freak out in maths and started seeing numbers everywhere. The school wouldn't let him back without a full psychic evaluation, but in the end he was deemed sane. There was also this little African kid who had seen some serious shit in his home country. He used to go 'ayy white boy!' Or 'whats good ma nigga?' Depending on his mood. He was always in fights and was hit by a car at the traffic lights outside the school. When he recovered he went and did it again in the exact same place. He was fine though. There was also this really lanky leabian emo girl who now has a kid who set off a firework burrowed into the wall of the gym.
If we're still sharing work stories, I work with kids and have a ton of super fucked up stories to share, though I don't know the legality of it or how my employer would like it if they found it...
[QUOTE=jazxsora;47233774]If we're still sharing work stories, I work with kids and have a ton of super fucked up stories to share, though I don't know the legality of it or how my employer would like it if they found it...[/QUOTE] Change all the names, remove references to locations.
[QUOTE=jazxsora;47233774]If we're still sharing work stories, I work with kids and have a ton of super fucked up stories to share, though I don't know the legality of it or how my employer would like it if they found it...[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Kahgarak;47233996]Change all the names, remove references to locations.[/QUOTE] Doooo iiiiiiit.
[QUOTE=Krinkels;47224021]How would you even notice that? English tends to fall pretty neatly into iambic pentameter anyway.[/QUOTE] It really stood out for some reason. Try reading posts out loud in iambic pentameter, it sounds unnatural.
[QUOTE=arbio22;47240734]It really stood out for some reason. Try reading posts out loud in iambic pentameter, it sounds unnatural.[/QUOTE] Maybe he chose his words carefully.
There's a guy in one of my classes who I'm 99% certain is batshit insane. I can say something like "hey look at this doodle I did" and he'll go off on this massive tangent of "when I draw I draw from the soul and I draw of the darkness within me and the light and dark of everyone blah abstract blah blah inner demons blah blah". I can't remember exactly some of the things he has said, but the next time he goes on one of those tangents, I'll be sure to update you guys ASAP. He says stuff that's pretty out there. [editline]2nd March 2015[/editline] He gave a presentation in my Critical Thinking class, and pretty much no one in the class was able to completely follow him because of how abstract his thought process was and how...[i]interesting[/i] his artwork was. I'm not the only one who notices that he's crazy, one of my friends whispered to another friend of mine and me during the presentation, and she was like "this guy's fucking crazy..." What is it about art college that attracts weird people?
[QUOTE=Kartoffel;47245787]There's a guy in one of my classes who I'm 99% certain is batshit insane. I can say something like "hey look at this doodle I did" and he'll go off on this massive tangent of "when I draw I draw from the soul and I draw of the darkness within me and the light and dark of everyone blah abstract blah blah inner demons blah blah". I can't remember exactly some of the things he has said, but the next time he goes on one of those tangents, I'll be sure to update you guys ASAP. He says stuff that's pretty out there. [editline]2nd March 2015[/editline] He gave a presentation in my Critical Thinking class, and pretty much no one in the class was able to completely follow him because of how abstract his thought process was and how...[i]interesting[/i] his artwork was. I'm not the only one who notices that he's crazy, one of my friends whispered to another friend of mine and me during the presentation, and she was like "this guy's fucking crazy..." What is it about art college that attracts weird people?[/QUOTE] The idea of "expressing" through "art" gives them that excuse.
We had this guy in my year in school called "Aaron Garlic" (was spelled differently) and he was an odd character. He was known as the school loser. He wasn't smart and was very foul tempered, didn't really help himself and had the most irratating voice in the world. At lunch he was in the queue for the canteen and these "hardboyzzzz" from year 9 decided to queue jump, nobody really battered an eye tbf but Aaron just went mental and was like "HEY, GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE PAL, OR I'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF" but he said it in a really american accent even though we're all british, he was clearly quoting some film but he was so angry and serious and everybody, in unison in the canteen, just laughed. He ran out making some really weird screeching sound and just sat on the bench talking to himself. I'm not the bullying type but he was such an odd fellow and even when people tried to be nice to him, he'd just be a bit of a dick back and retaliate like we were trying to tease him. I'd love to see what hes up to now but i have no idea where hes gone or anything as i never had any class or stuff with him.
There was one lad in my class who was always a bit odd, around a year after we left school he ended up murdering his mother by stabbing her 19 times after she burned his drug stash. He got life in prison. Read about him again and few years ago, he threw a kettle at a guard scalding him.
My school is next to an art school. There's people with oddly coloured hair but that's not even that weird anymore. There's this one dude who always wear a tophat with steampunk goggles in the bring and a really long coat that reaches to his feet. He also has a moustache on his face that looks like he draws it on everyday with brown makeup (?) There's another dude with really bushy sideburns and a goatee, no facial hair in between. He has crazyeyes and mostly wears a flatcap. He also wear a jacket full of patches (which is pretty sick), he has huge earrings and a really weird haircut. I think but am not sure he always always wears short.
[QUOTE=MechaKat;47223223]I used to be the weird one back in Primary School. Used to watch a ton of dinosaur films and godzilla 98, so I generally used to act like a dinosaur. :v:[/QUOTE] Join the club, did the exact same shit.
Had an illiterate comp sci teacher who tried to distribute furry porn to students but I think I've already told that story Basically he handed me a flash drive to transfer a file to him and he had a "Furoticon" folder on it Other kids reported seeing it too and he got in trouble
[QUOTE=Mabus;47248975]There was one lad in my class who was always a bit odd, around a year after we left school he ended up murdering his mother by stabbing her 19 times after she burned his drug stash. He got life in prison. Read about him again and few years ago, he threw a kettle at a guard scalding him.[/QUOTE] It got me thinking, how many of those "weird kids at school" we talked about, whom we never saw again after a while, turned into murderers or psychos? [editline]3rd March 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=circuitbawx;47250738]Had an illiterate comp sci teacher who tried to distribute furry porn to students but I think I've already told that story Basically he handed me a flash drive to transfer a file to him and he had a "Furoticon" folder on it Other kids reported seeing it too and he got in trouble[/QUOTE] Nope, you never told us about that. Got any more details?
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