Weird Kids At Your School v2 dude wtf are you masturbating in band class
3,054 replies, posted
A while a go I asked if anyone would be interested in some work stories I have, since I work at an after school program for elementary schoolers. People seemed interested at the time, and My hours recently got cut by 2/3rds (3 days a week to 1) so I am more open to sharing, especially after this past week, where I worked at a vacation camp we hold. Would people still be interested?
[QUOTE=jazxsora;47609829]A while a go I asked if anyone would be interested in some work stories I have, since I work at an after school program for elementary schoolers. People seemed interested at the time, and My hours recently got cut by 2/3rds (3 days a week to 1) so I am more open to sharing, especially after this past week, where I worked at a vacation camp we hold. Would people still be interested?[/QUOTE]
Gimme gimme gimme.
Not exactly weird but in either the laat or second to last year of secondary one of the school's resident asshole kids, Andy just disappeared without a trace. Lot of rumours went around until we all got called into a big assembly where the headteacher began talking about how we should behave and shit like that. Just bear in mind she was one of those high and mighty types who spoke eith a very prim and proper sort of voice as if she were superior to everyone and she volunteered as a barrister or something along those lines.
Started talking about a bunch of shit people had done including sticking glue sticks to windows, "smoking a controlled substance at college" and so on before showing us CCTV footage of Andy smashing a black bin bag against a wall before a thin cloud appeared over him. Confirmed what everyone had been saying about him filling the bag full of aerosols. Heard he also tried to find a lighter too.
Yesterday in my college, we were presenting our projects in computer graphics. The premise was to make a photomanipulation based in surrealism. A lot of my classmate's projects were really neat, and some of them were hilarious. It was all pretty standard fare for fantasy; trees on top of clouds, a car driving over an ocean, that kind of stuff. All was going well until one kid comes to present his. I'll call him William.
William is kind of on the large side, he wears glasses and his hair is always unkempt and greasy-looking. I never talked to him much, and whenever we do these class presentations, he's always a bit awkward and can't speak in front of us. But nothing could have prepared me for what he was going to show us for his photomanipulation project.
In the background, there was a dark and creepy forest. The focus of the picture was this anime-styled bear-thing walking through the woods. It was surrounded by... tentacles.
Yep. When we present these projects, we're supposed to explain why we made our design choices and whatnot. So he fumbled around his words, explaining that he wanted the picture to look creepy, which was why he wanted the tentacles and the scared-looking anime figure. And then he mentions that he purposefully made it blush. A long silence passes over the classroom, and then he just fucking moves on without explaining why he made the fucking anime thing blush while it was surrounded by tentacles in the middle of a dark forest. One of the tentacles was even in its goddamn mouth.
So, basically he made a picture that showed a blushing anime bear thing surrounded by tentacles. He made implicit tentacle rape and showed it to the class.
What is wrong with people like that that makes them think that drawing what basically amounts to tentacle rape and [i]show it to a fucking class full in school[/i] is a good idea!?
[QUOTE=The Yiffy Fox;47601466]I AM the weird kid. I mausterbate on the bus alot and sometimes get high off the glue in woodshop.[/QUOTE]
your steam inventory is uh
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/hmMjV8o.png[/IMG]
great...?
[editline]28th April 2015[/editline]
puking atm
Back in 9th grade, when I was still an obsessive weird ass brony (:suicide:), my lunch table was pretty small and the group sitting there was pretty weird. Fake names since I have some of them added on steam.
[B]Dylan - [/B]Dylan was this pretty chubby dude, shaved head and he always wore hoodies. He was quiet for the most part but when he did speak he was pretty damn loud. Dude was really obsessed with Smosh and spent most of his time either yelling at Ian(I'll get to him) for being an idiot or talking about and watching Smosh.
[B]Paul - [/B]Paul was probably the most normal out of the group. He was a little bit on the skinny side and he wore glasses. He got kicked out of his table for some reason and this was the only open one he got stuck with us. He, along with me, drew purposely stupid ass drawings that told the most ridiculous stories for the hell of it but other than that nothing out of the ordinary.
[B]Ian - [/B]Ian had really curly and messy brown hair and was pretty skinny and never wore anything other than t-shirts and jeans, never. He was really quiet at first, but as the year went on he started to open up. He wasn't exactly the brightest person out there and he always talked very loud. Generally he was the one who did some stupid things and I got some funny stories out of it(I'll post some another time). As the year went on, he started to really get into tf2 and mlp, partially my fault, though he was never that bad with them. He isn't that good of a person to hang out with in person, but he was fine online.
I guess I can briefly mention the table next to us. They were a pretty full table and they were these annoying kids who spouted out shit tons of memes, sometimes they came over to our table since Dylan was friends with one of them,but this did not happen much.
Anyways, time for a story.
It was lunch time once again and they recently added a new snack area, which sold some churros. I commented on this and apparently Ian never had a churro before, which surprised all of us. Naturally, Dylan just called him an idiot and went back to watching Smosh but Paul and I told him to just get one and try it, we'd even pay for it. So, he heads back with one and ends up actually enjoying it, a lot. Other than that lunch was normal that day.
However, the next day he orders 4 churros (these weren't small ones either) and nothing else for lunch. All of us tell him how stupid that is but he doesn't care. Every day, 4 churros nothing more, nothing less. It was a miracle that he wasn't obese. Anyways, this went on for awhile until they took out the churros for more healthy alternatives (actually good healthy alternatives), which really got Ian mad. Apparently, he wasn't the only one either and people really pushed for these damn churros to the point that they actually brought them back.
Not really the best story, but I don't feel like writing out the time I went to his house right now, I will later, that was really damn hilarious.
I sat next to a guy with no neck.
[IMG]http://img.ifcdn.com/images/222cc15f77cdfee79c4feef5a3e5eaf520b13136f096a4bc32937f4c1b389dca_3.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=ElderLolz;47627554]Finally a classmate for me![/QUOTE]
Oh god I literally read that with his voice.
[QUOTE=Zotobom;47087950]On the first day of school a 15 y/o guy from my class was wearing an Anonymous sweater with DISOBEY on it, a LoZ Triforce cap and a necklace with a weed thingy on it. I knew this had to be good. Since then he has worn an Anonymous mask to school, wore an Attack on Titan or w/e it's called cloak to school, smoked a blunt wrong and vomited in class, and in general just being a massive idiot. He constantly makes MLG and Illuminati jokes and listens to anime music on such a loud volume that the entire class hears it.[/QUOTE]
Late, but his warderobe has now expanded to shirts that are way too big (literally to his knees) and this without the bowtie:
[t]http://indanang.com/wp-content/uploads//waiter.jpg[/t]
Doesn't look great with his long,unwashed greasy hair.
[QUOTE=J$ Psychotic;47601519]Good! I finally found someone who beats off in public! I've always wanted to know why you people don't just wait until you get home, or at least get to the fucking bathroom. What possesses you to jerk it in public in plain sight of other people?[/QUOTE]
Being a furry there is nothing to worry
[QUOTE=sphinxa279;47610044]Gimme gimme gimme.[/QUOTE]
A few of my personal favorite stories I can share are from that week.
One kid who, to quote my mom's catchphrase, "is definitely on the spectrum" flipped the shit out a few times. In the place we were holding the camp there's a pool, and he wanted to go in, but screamed every time he got water on his face. One day we had a person from Mad Science Come in. She mentioned that there was going to be a loud noise during her presentation and he started screaming and crying with his hands over his ears. She didn't do the "loud" thing until the end (which was the thing where you fill a gallon jug with a flammable gas and light it, so it wasn't even loud), so he spent the whole time in the corner with his hands over his ears. We also had a balloon animal guy come in and he did the same thing because he thought one was going to pop. But my favorite moment with this kid was when we were playing dodgeball. It was "medic" dodgeball and he was the medic. He spent the whole time dancing around instead of healing and helping his team. The other team figured that out and started going after him. One hit him and that flipped some switch. He started screaming (literally REEEEEEEEEEEE), picked up as many balls as his scrawny third grader arms could carry and charged at the other team and started throwing at them. One kid who I've got a kinda bro relationship with looked at me like "what the fuck dude" and I just shrugged because I had just as much of an idea what was going on as he did. I had the crazy kid sit out for a while after that. I feel bad for him because he definitely needs some help.
I've got a ton more like this. Anyone want more?
[QUOTE=Impact1986;47637578]Being a furry there is nothing to worry[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/lnFrpaX.png[/IMG]
-snip-
I was just on facebook and this quiet chinese kid i knew in middle school is now, like me, in college, and he has literally not aged at all. He still looks exactly like he did in seventh grade. Literally he has put on no age whatsoever and I'm freaking out
[QUOTE=circuitbawx;47643159]I was just on facebook and this quiet chinese kid i knew in middle school is now, like me, in college, and he has literally not aged at all. He still looks exactly like he did in seventh grade. Literally he has put on no age whatsoever and I'm freaking out[/QUOTE]
I know someone like this who is the same age and ethnicity described. Is this a coinkydink?
[QUOTE=Katska;47643475]I know someone like this who is the same age and ethnicity described. Is this a coinkydink?[/QUOTE]
All depends on if you go to college in DC or not
[QUOTE=jazxsora;47637797]A few of my personal favorite stories I can share are from that week.
One kid who, to quote my mom's catchphrase, "is definitely on the spectrum" flipped the shit out a few times. In the place we were holding the camp there's a pool, and he wanted to go in, but screamed every time he got water on his face. One day we had a person from Mad Science Come in. She mentioned that there was going to be a loud noise during her presentation and he started screaming and crying with his hands over his ears. She didn't do the "loud" thing until the end (which was the thing where you fill a gallon jug with a flammable gas and light it, so it wasn't even loud), so he spent the whole time in the corner with his hands over his ears. We also had a balloon animal guy come in and he did the same thing because he thought one was going to pop. But my favorite moment with this kid was when we were playing dodgeball. It was "medic" dodgeball and he was the medic. He spent the whole time dancing around instead of healing and helping his team. The other team figured that out and started going after him. One hit him and that flipped some switch. He started screaming (literally REEEEEEEEEEEE), picked up as many balls as his scrawny third grader arms could carry and charged at the other team and started throwing at them. One kid who I've got a kinda bro relationship with looked at me like "what the fuck dude" and I just shrugged because I had just as much of an idea what was going on as he did. I had the crazy kid sit out for a while after that. I feel bad for him because he definitely needs some help.
I've got a ton more like this. Anyone want more?[/QUOTE]
for the love of god yes, got anymore of that same kid?
[QUOTE=circuitbawx;47645573]All depends on if you go to college in DC or not[/QUOTE]
Nope, I am on the opposite side of the country.
Allow me to share the story of a huge douchebag I went to middleschool with named Spencer, a.k.a. Fat Goku(I'll explain that in a bit).
It was the beginning of 7th grade and our school had gotten a lot of new people from different schools in the district, some of them from the alright middle schools, some of them from the really sketchy ones. In comes Spencer. This kid was a marvel to behold when I first saw him. He weighed in at a grand total of 280 pounds at age 13 and always had a face that said "I'm pissed, don't fuck with me or I'll eat you". Didn't really have a chin, just an enormous blob of flesh where his neck was supposed to be. He also loved to blast Limp Bizkit through his headphones, every single day of the week for god knows why.
He never did anything in class and he never turned a single assignment in. Whenever we had a group assignment with him, he'd waddle off to the bathroom for as long as he possibly could to avoid working and then come back just to sit in the corner and position himself just so he could hear when someone would call his name to make it look like he was doing something.
Best part was that he was a huge asshole, since he made it his life's mission to try and bully every single person in our class and below, going as far as pulling a sixth grade girl's hair as hard as possible and knocking another kid's front teeth out because the kid stood up to him. I'm also very certain that he may or may not have given a death threat to the 7th grade English teacher for asking him to stop blasting fucking Limp Bizkit in class.
Now for the Goku thing. One of the most notable things about this kid was his long, spiked up hair. Always came to school with his hair like this and it always looked like he slathered his head in bacon grease every morning. We always made jokes about how long his spikes were but it got better when out of the blue one morning, he showed up to school with his hair dyed an extremely bright shade of yellow, as if he started wearing one of those horrifying Edward Elric wigs. The absolute worst part of this was the gel or product he used. The school I went to for this is in southern California, with most of his time at my school being during the late summer/early fall. SoCal heat + Goku's Cranium Lubricant = the most disgusting smell in the world that lingered like rotten milk in a carpet. Whatever it was that the kid was putting in his hair, it did not react well to heat and everyone learned that lesson the hard way.
I don't know exactly what happened to him after he got expelled a few months after the semester started for his multiple acts of violence and obscenely low GPA (and possibly his corpse-scent hair). Last I heard about him, his mom had moved with him to some school in Mexico, Tijuana I'm guessing since it's relatively close. Why he was sent there, I'll never know, but all I know is that I will never get the image or smell of his hair out of my head.
not in school but on the train station these two 17-at the very least sports collage students walk past one of them was like "you know i almost killed a couple of people" in such a tryhard edgelord cringy manner the kind of shit you would hear from late primary school to early highschool, his friend was like "bullshit" I was thinking the same thing
This new kid from Zimbabwe showed up to school and he sat next to me in one of my classes. Last week, we were copying shit down from the board in complete silence and he just turned to me and said really loud 'You got a fat ass but I still take sausage' and got sent out. Yesterday, he asked some girl in our class if she knows how to move her boobs and immediately tried to touch them. He got sent out again.
Today, he got suspended/possibly expelled because he beat the shit out of someone then went to smoke weed in the bathroom.
Here are just some incidents from highschool. Not in any particular order:
So when I was in grade 12 a kid named Devon transferred here. Fucking loud and annoying and awkward as shit. The typical fucking asshole you just stay away from because he's a dick and because he's obnoxious and stupid as shit. Anyways, he decided to jack it one day in the middle of fucking science class during an in-class movie. We sit at tables not desks in that class, and the tables are fairly low compared to the desks. He was jacking it under the table, but since it was low the top of his hand hit the bottom of the table over and over. All we heard for like the first few minutes of the movie was a rapid "thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud." before the teacher paused the video to see what was happening. It slowly got slower once he realized people could hear it so it was more like, " thud thud thud thud thud... thud.......... thud." and then nothing. The teacher started the video again, and the banging began once more as he furiously mashed his dick under the table.
Eventually we heard a very long, and VERY loud, "EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH, FUCK." from the back of the class as he presumably finished under his table. He gathered his bags with one hand. And left... With one hand in his pocket.
The second occurrence of Devon includes his friend Matt who's literally a fedora-wearing turbo fuck. Matt was WAY into memes. Like, more than any person should reasonably be. Everytime he used the word 'dank' he would let out this fucking God awful laugh resembling him shouting, "KEK!!" He would use that word in just normal conversation. For example I remember him talking with Devon in the lunch room and he said, "Devon can I have some of those dank chips. KEK!" It was horrendous.
Fast forward to gym class when we had to do our final physical test. Both Matt and Devon are clearly in awful shape. First assessment was high jump. Devon was 3rd to go. He AND Matt go at the same time, and fucking clobber the pole as if it was made of feathers and clatter into an ungodly mess on the floor. It would have been less awkward if Matt hadn't let out one loud "KEK" immediately after it happened. Nothing more notable happened until the LAST event which was sprints, more specifically, the 100 meter.
Devon's up and he says, "I got this, shitlords." and gets ready to sprint. The gun goes off and I shit you not, 4 steps in, his right ankle does a 180 degree twist and cracks as loud as the starting gun. He goes down and yells, "AW, FUCKIN FUCKS." At this point we're all in shock, both by the volume of his profanity and the fact his right ankle decided to turn into a fucking pretzel. There's no teachers in these classes, so we usually take care of ourselves. The only person to move at this point was Matt, and he walks up and instead of addressing Devon's ankle, [B]fucking rolls him like a snowman to the wall[/B] in a feeble attempt to "move" him. We call the school nurse to see what the problem is and she says, "It's broken I think, I'll call the ambulance." in which he weakly replies, "This is the price of glory." then actually gets off the nurse's bed, gets on his belly and tries to penguin slide out the door with a shattered ankle. Of course, he's a fat fuck so he gets maybe 6 inches before he gives up.
They did not graduate. They "finished" grade 12 with 16 credits each for all 4 years. Pretty sure they've dropped out, or have been kicked out by now.
[QUOTE=murple;47660584]not in school but on the train station these two 17-at the very least sports collage students walk past one of them was like "you know i almost killed a couple of people" in such a tryhard edgelord cringy manner the kind of shit you would hear from late primary school to early highschool, his friend was like "bullshit" I was thinking the same thing[/QUOTE]
I don't know if its the same in every country, but in Australia, public transport is a non-stop source of entertainment.
[editline]5th May 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=rovar;47663025]Devon and Matt[/QUOTE]
Beautiful story man, almost sprayed water everywhere at the high jump and sprint bits.
[QUOTE=Darth Ninja;47663140]
Beautiful story man, almost sprayed water everywhere at the high jump and sprint bits.[/QUOTE]
[t]https://dl.pushbulletusercontent.com/V8Dvr3NaisCsundmcHHe9CqnZhxhSmPG/IMG_20150505_215535.jpg[/t]
Don't ask me why I still have this three month old MX
Okay, so let's call this student I know "T".
T says some weird shit.
And I mean one time, I shit you not, he's like "yer my sister is pretty hot, I'd tap (fuck) that bitch anyday of the week, especially the fat bitch."
[QUOTE=rovar;47663025]Here are just some incidents from highschool. Not in any particular order:
So when I was in grade 12 a kid named Devon transferred here. Fucking loud and annoying and awkward as shit. The typical fucking asshole you just stay away from because he's a dick and because he's obnoxious and stupid as shit. Anyways, he decided to jack it one day in the middle of fucking science class during an in-class movie. We sit at tables not desks in that class, and the tables are fairly low compared to the desks. He was jacking it under the table, but since it was low the top of his hand hit the bottom of the table over and over. All we heard for like the first few minutes of the movie was a rapid "thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud." before the teacher paused the video to see what was happening. It slowly got slower once he realized people could hear it so it was more like, " thud thud thud thud thud... thud.......... thud." and then nothing. The teacher started the video again, and the banging began once more as he furiously mashed his dick under the table.
Eventually we heard a very long, and VERY loud, "EUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH, FUCK." from the back of the class as he presumably finished under his table. He gathered his bags with one hand. And left... With one hand in his pocket.
The second occurrence of Devon includes his friend Matt who's literally a fedora-wearing turbo fuck. Matt was WAY into memes. Like, more than any person should reasonably be. Everytime he used the word 'dank' he would let out this fucking God awful laugh resembling him shouting, "KEK!!" He would use that word in just normal conversation. For example I remember him talking with Devon in the lunch room and he said, "Devon can I have some of those dank chips. KEK!" It was horrendous.
Fast forward to gym class when we had to do our final physical test. Both Matt and Devon are clearly in awful shape. First assessment was high jump. Devon was 3rd to go. He AND Matt go at the same time, and fucking clobber the pole as if it was made of feathers and clatter into an ungodly mess on the floor. It would have been less awkward if Matt hadn't let out one loud "KEK" immediately after it happened. Nothing more notable happened until the LAST event which was sprints, more specifically, the 100 meter.
Devon's up and he says, "I got this, shitlords." and gets ready to sprint. The gun goes off and I shit you not, 4 steps in, his right ankle does a 180 degree twist and cracks as loud as the starting gun. He goes down and yells, "AW, FUCKIN FUCKS." At this point we're all in shock, both by the volume of his profanity and the fact his right ankle decided to turn into a fucking pretzel. There's no teachers in these classes, so we usually take care of ourselves. The only person to move at this point was Matt, and he walks up and instead of addressing Devon's ankle, [B]fucking rolls him like a snowman to the wall[/B] in a feeble attempt to "move" him. We call the school nurse to see what the problem is and she says, "It's broken I think, I'll call the ambulance." in which he weakly replies, "This is the price of glory." then actually gets off the nurse's bed, gets on his belly and tries to penguin slide out the door with a shattered ankle. Of course, he's a fat fuck so he gets maybe 6 inches before he gives up.
They did not graduate. They "finished" grade 12 with 16 credits each for all 4 years. Pretty sure they've dropped out, or have been kicked out by now.[/QUOTE]
Wow, this is "glue sniffing" retarded, how can these two even breathe without help?
[QUOTE=DEMONSKUL;47663478]Wow, this is "glue sniffing" retarded, how can these two even breathe without help?[/QUOTE]
They are like the perfect duo though. It's like they feed off each other's autistic energy to become super autism warriors or something.
There's this one kid who kinda stalks the restroom and every time you go into a stall he kinda just stalks you in their. He looks over the stall and even through the cracks. He's been doing this since freshman year.
I feel like I should carry a cross on me from now on.
A little update on our dumbass duo. Matt got arrested for stealing smoke detectors and lighting small fires. I assume when the police showed up he "KEK'd" and tried to run.
Devon is in high school still, trying to get the remaining [b]8 credits[/B] and I've been told he's gotten 3. Good luck, Devon. Oh and hid various meats around the room until they started to rot and did that constantly thought the semester. No one ever caught him until the last few weeks where he was seen putting uncooked chicken strips in the utility closet.
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