• Weird Kids At Your School v2 dude wtf are you masturbating in band class
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[QUOTE=MilkBagz;47736200]I'm kind of surprised you didn't punch him. I think I'd probably smash anybody who tried to hug me in a public bathroom. [editline]a[/editline] smash as in punch[/QUOTE] Well tbh I was pretty straight-laced in high-school and I didn't want to get in trouble. Plus I'm pretty sure getting in a fight at a dance automatically barred you from attending future dances and I wasn't really willing to do that. Plus I didn't really expect it to go as far as it did. Every time I thought "Okay, I got out of this without having to punch him," it just seemed to weirdly continue happening.
Did you at least talk to the girl after the whole fiasco?
Can we include weird guys at work too? I've got this coworker that spends probably 30% of the day either going outside to smoke, going to the bathroom or just randomly dissapearing. Also loudly proclaiming that he's "GONNA GO TAKE A SHIT" every single time he leaves. I've got no idea how he's still employed. :v: It's gone so far that we've given him nicknames such as "The Illusionist", "The Wizard", and our bosses own creation: "Foreskin" due to the fact that "whenever there's work to be done, the little bastard slips away."
[QUOTE=Glitchman;47081349][b]Rock Club[/b] I may or may not have told this story but here goes. It's less of a weird kid story, but more of a group of kids who did something really odd. I guess you could say we were all those weird kids (edited for easier reading) -The Beginning- So this was probably in 2nd or 3rd grade, maybe 4th, I don't fucking know. However, one day I decided at recess that playing on the equipment was fucking boring. So what did I do? I decided to slowly dig out a big rock that was mostly underground. I sat there, at recess, just digging fucking dirt from around the rock. About 3 recesses later, I got to the point where I could see the bottom of the rock. -The Club Starts- A bunch of the bigger kids, who where the "bullies" of my class, thought it was pretty dope so they decided to help me pull the rock out of the hole. We did this with sticks that we found around, using them as levers. Once the rock was out, everyone lost their shit. For some reason a large amount of kids thought this shit was amazing. Soon, more people decided to help me dig up rocks. There were a lot on the school grounds. We would hide the best digging and lever sticks where we could find them next recess. But it didn't stop there. We decided we were called "Rock Club" and now, bullies, nerds, and normal kids all formed a team of about 10-12. Rock Club was fucking awesome. -The Rivalry- However, all things do not end well. Another "Rock Club" formed by another group of kids. They also called themselves "Rock Club" or "The Other Rock Club". Whatever it was it made us furious, since we were the true Rock Club. We all had separate tools. Really good digging sticks that would get stolen by the other club, they were steal our trophy rocks, they would get into fights with our scouts. They would finish digging out rocks we started, prompting us to find even better digging sticks to get the rocks out in one recess. (Sometimes we had different recess times, so we couldn't be out there to protect our trophy rocks and sticks) Soon, the bullies on our side would beat up the weaker kids on their side. We would get new people to join us, but immediately have them pretend to join the other Rock club and steal their shit after a few days. Some of these kids were hunted down the most by the stick squads. -The Escalation- Shit got real. REALLY real. Multiple fights over sticks and rocks. Groups of us who would pelt the other rock club with pebbles as they were trying to dig, warding them away. We then had "defense sticks" that were actually sharpened to threaten the other kids. People did get hit by these and stabbed, but no one really got hurt that badly. Homemade slings were the last step. This is like some tribal shit going on. -The Consequences- Soon a bunch of us got in-school suspensions, and there was no recess for a week while they went through and dug up all the rocks with bulldozers and filled the holes. I still have a geode that I found during the events.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://www.lordalford.com/lotf/book3.jpg[/IMG]
So there's this guy called Lee. He's a jock. Basically, he'd go around hugging anyone and everyone. After an hour of sweaty, high-intensity sports. Here's a flowchart of bumping into Lee - -->You're a girl --> Hugs you with his sweaty, stinky pits --> Asks you if you "touch yourself" / Lee Sees you \ --> You're a guy --> Hugs you with his sweaty, stinky pits --> Asks if you shave your balls --> slaps you in the back
a kid got caught jerking off to a girl in class the other day
back in eighth grade there was this huge lawn where only the eighth graders were allowed to hang out in. One day my friends and I were standing out there minding our own business, when this kid who must have been in sixth grade came up to us. He was really short and fat and wore a shirt that was way too small for him. All of the sudden he just yells "MY NAME IS PIGGYMAN, BITCHES" and starts punching the shit out of one of my friends. As soon as this happens an adult runs over to us and pulls him off, who I can only imagine to be his special ed supervisor. We never saw Piggyman again.
some turk and a ginger(?) girl had sex in 9th grade in the toilets ditto in another 9th grade class but in the classroom got expelled
Not a kid but a teacher. Math teachers were never fun, at least for me. But this one was one of a kind. Mid-40's, pretty fat and heavy smoker (she would even hold her chalk like a cigarette if that's any hint). What makes her special? Her stench. Imagine going into a pretty small classroom with only two tiny windows barely reachable by anyone (and impossible to open during colder days) and this massive smell of unclean human body that surrounds this pretty large individual. Mix that with the smell of cigarettes and bad breath. Even from the back of the class, we could smell it just as much as the front rows. You'd think we would get used to it but no. One group of guys even decided to buy a case of scent sprayers and they would pass it around class to spray a little bit everywhere. What a nightmare that was. We all dreaded that time of the week like the plague. I don't know what happened to her afterwards.
[QUOTE=Bathacker;47735811] Simon[/QUOTE] Yeeesh. Reminds me of a guy in HS who was like this, but a bit of the opposite, and I called him Commodore Quagmire. Dude could not stop thinking/talking about sex even in 9th grade. He pushed me away from a girl during lunch when I went up to talk to her, went "Woahwoahwoah nononononono shhhhhhhhh go little man" to my ear( he was a tad smaller than me), and talked to her in my stead. No wonder I had social issues. Another one. I knew a girl since tenth grade that bordered on cute and creepy that I ALMOST fell for. I'll call her Lucy. A few students and I for one period were supposed to assist a classroom of kids with special needs at the back of the room. While we were doing this for the first week of class, Lucy starts talking to me. We'd talk for a bit day by day until by the fifth week of school she was making weird flirting moves on me. I'm like "Okay you're a bit odd, but I can live with it." I think in one talk Lucy squeezed in sex-talk for a split second to see if I noticed. I didn't but we still talked and assisted the special ed class. By the 8-10th week, when Lucy got up to leave the room, the assistant teacher who assigns the students with the special ed kids walks up to me and quietly says [B]"Dude, Lucy's on the Special Ed program."[/B] I make a face that looks like I swallowed rat poison, and my small interest-erection that I had got sunk right into my waist. Lucy and I stayed friends ever since, only now she's doing this to other guys. I'm sure there are stories where this sort of thing was okay or worked out in the end with dating people in Special Ed classes, but I didn't want to get my ass into some deep shit.
I'm not sure, since it was confidential towards the students who were assisting kids with minor special needs with the exception of the parents and ones that had noticeable disabilities. I think it was because that they didn't want to get word out to any student so that they would have the chance to bully them, but it left us in the cold and one slip up could get us into trouble. I couldn't even friend Lucy or any of the other students on Facebook until graduation. Basically we were there to assist and assist only.
[QUOTE=Sandvich9;47739685]Can we include weird guys at work too? I've got this coworker that spends probably 30% of the day either going outside to smoke, going to the bathroom or just randomly dissapearing. Also loudly proclaiming that he's "GONNA GO TAKE A SHIT" every single time he leaves. I've got no idea how he's still employed. :v: It's gone so far that we've given him nicknames such as "The Illusionist", "The Wizard", and our bosses own creation: "Foreskin" due to the fact that "whenever there's work to be done, the little bastard slips away."[/QUOTE] oh, but weird dudes at work are fun too. like this intern i met a few years ago. not that much of a trouble, except for the fact sometimes he'd do the most idiotic thing to solve any task, even the most basic ones, leaving us most of the time speechless. best one i remember before leaving that place was when i asked him to sand some pipes but warned him about using work gloves because the die grinder we used had a metallic grip that often heated pretty quickly. a few minutes later, he came back to me and asked me something about the pipes, so i explained him again what he had to do until i noticed something on his forehead. i couldn't believe he actually put the grip on his own forehead to check if it was too hot, thus burning the grip's pattern on his skin. when i asked him why would he do such a stupid thing he replied he didn't wanted to burn his fingers.
[QUOTE=Sandvich9;47739685]Can we include weird guys at work too? I've got this coworker that spends probably 30% of the day either going outside to smoke, going to the bathroom or just randomly dissapearing. Also loudly proclaiming that he's "GONNA GO TAKE A SHIT" every single time he leaves. I've got no idea how he's still employed. :v: It's gone so far that we've given him nicknames such as "The Illusionist", "The Wizard", and our bosses own creation: "Foreskin" due to the fact that "whenever there's work to be done, the little bastard slips away."[/QUOTE] At my job I'm the weird guy, but everyone I also work with is weird too. Not really weird, but very blunt with how we act. When I need to go take a shit, I tell my manager "fuck man I need to go drop a deuce". We have this inside joke where when any of us uses the bathroom we yell "OH [CO-WORKER]'s [RELATIVE]". One time the boss-boss of the whole business was using the bathroom and I just yelled out "Hey, is Jason's mom in there?" and he just busted out laughing. He's not even in on the joke. I work with a lot of cool people. It's pretty cool that I can call my manager a jewish cunt and not get fired for it.
[QUOTE=Metaru;47753083]Forehead Heat Tester[/QUOTE] Do you remember what was imprinted on his forehead or was it just serial numbers? I'm curious. :v:
[QUOTE=alpha00zero;47754052]Do you remember what was imprinted on his forehead or was it just serial numbers? I'm curious. :v:[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://www.deckgrips.com/index_htm_files/838.jpg[/IMG] never forget.
[QUOTE=LVL FACTORY;47728483]Then there is the "Facebook event" which wasn't really weird but more of a "oh shit nigga" thing if anyone wants to hear[/QUOTE] Go ahead, could use a laugh.
I used to work security in a warehouse. In that warehouse was a man named Bill. The best way I can describe him is that he kind of looks like sad pepe but with a pedo mustache and balding. This is just a breif summary on the finer points of his life. Bill is a story teller. Except he believes his own stories too. According to him, he is a professional (very well paid) ghost hunter who travels around the country with a world-famous team under him. That's his second job. His THIRD job is treasure hunter. He routinely finances and embarks on deep sea explorations where he finds long forgotten ship wrecks with chests of gold and the like. He always made sure to tell me every time a new shipment of gold arrived by truck at his mansion (apartment). This happened once a month, of course, because ya know he finds LOTS of gold. When I asked why he worked in a warehouse on top of all that, he said it was for the benefits. He hacks into China and North Korea's government very regularly to assist the US government in monitoring them. He doesn't know what gluten intolerence is and thinks it's an allergy. Like some sort of pollen in the air. He will sometimes begin to sneeze and go "WHOA GLUTEN MUST BE FLARING UP AGAIN!!!". He is very dirty and owns like one pair of pants and two shirts which he must rarely wash since they are both covered in old/new stains. He carries around a fucking can of coke ALL DAY EVERY DAY. If he's awake, he's drinking coke. What little teeth he has left are brown and rotting. He paid a co-worker, who liked to recycle, to help clean his apartment one time because he said he had some cans of coke he didn't want to take care of himself. The person said that his apartment was wall-to-wall cans of coke stacked everywhere. You couldn't even open the front door more than enough to get in. Every hallway had one path you could walk down because the rest of it was lined with cans. The other half of his bed he doesn't sleep in is filled with cans. The last, and most fondest memory I have of him, is the time when he exited the bathroom with a HUGE shit stain on the back end of his shirt - apparently forgetting to pull it up enough, or something. We never bothered to mention it because we figured he wouldn't care anyway. [I]This is just scratching the surface.[/I] I really never believed people like this actually exist in the world.
[QUOTE=alpha00zero;47751070]Not a kid but a teacher.[/QUOTE] Reminds me of my own Math teacher one time, waaay back in 9th grade. He was just socially awkward to the Nth degree. Couldn't hold a conversation, didn't have any sort of friendship (or at least an acquaintanceship) with the other teachers. He would just space out occasionally while we were working, and would eerily scan the room with a thousand yard stare. If you had a question, it'd take a couple of seconds for him to process and rise from the dead. The teach would sometime tell us stories that sounded like he was recalling some sort of bizarre dream, such as the famous "Country Time Lemonade Squirrel Water Gun Incident". Most students discredited his stories as schoolyard myths. He openly admitted to living with his grandmother too. Often the names of students would slip his mind, and after being corrected, he'd still call you by whatever bastardized jumble he referred to you as. Sometimes nicknames were made for us. I was unfortunate enough to receive the nickname "Ozzums".
[QUOTE=GastricTank;47757347]Reminds me of my own Math teacher one time, waaay back in 9th grade. He was just socially awkward to the Nth degree. Couldn't hold a conversation, didn't have any sort of friendship (or at least an acquaintanceship) with the other teachers. He would just space out occasionally while we were working, and would eerily scan the room with a thousand yard stare. If you had a question, it'd take a couple of seconds for him to process and rise from the dead. The teach would sometime tell us stories that sounded like he was recalling some sort of bizarre dream, such as the famous "Country Time Lemonade Squirrel Water Gun Incident". Most students discredited his stories as schoolyard myths. He openly admitted to living with his grandmother too. Often the names of students would slip his mind, and after being corrected, he'd still call you by whatever bastardized jumble he referred to you as. Sometimes nicknames were made for us. I was unfortunate enough to receive the nickname "Ozzums".[/QUOTE] Wait, your name's Ozzy? That's awesome
[QUOTE=haloguy234;47736661]This isn't really a weird kid at school story but a weird guy story nonetheless. My sister was dating this guy, and he may as well have been the spokesman for the dunning-kruger effect. He spent all of his free time making movies and comedy sketches, but they all sucked. He thought they were works of art and that he was one of the best writers in existence. I feel like the guy had a serious inferiority complex too, because if I tried to constructively and politely criticize his work he wouldn't talk to me for days. One time he actually cried. Dude was fucking 20 at the time and I was 17 or something. The last 5 or 6 years have been pretty hazy. So one day me, him, some friends, and my sister were all going to go see Toy Story 3 and this guy was being a complete fuckwit and suddenly decided at the last second that he wasn't going to go because my sister did something that made him mad. I told him to quit being a baby and act like an adult and when I turned around he punched me. I told him to fuck off and that if he's going to act like that, at least don't be a pussy about it and wait for me to turn away. My sister thought I was gonna deck him in the face and I really wanted to, I was so sick and tired of his shit. Every day some random thing someone would say would be taken the wrong way, like it was a serious insult. Guy had a serious craterface too, I don't know what my sister even saw in him. [sp]as it turns out he was actually beating my sister and she never told anybody. when i found out i really wished that i had beat the fuck out of him when he tried to fight me[/sp][/QUOTE] Quick question, if you would ever see him again would you beat his ass up? I know I would, seeing as I have a sister of my own that I care for alot.
who wouldn't
My school was fkn weird cos in 2013 (my final year) the popular kids were semi-ironically playing yu-gi-oh again (tbh I totally joined in bcos I've been a low key yu-gi-oh fan my whole life and could play it off as just getting back into it but still) so 98% of the year were weird pretty much, but then there was kyle... This dude was a 6'4" piece of shit, he had a '10 bieber haircut and kept trying to drag me to games workshop to show off his shittily painted marines (I was chaos all day bruh and yes I was one of the weird kids), he also was hell into hentai and would obsess over skyrim. Now this guy would do some fucking weird shit, he was caught masturbating in class by another student one time, he tried to blackmail an [b]underaged[/b] girl by threatening to leak the nudes she sent him before he realised that he would be fucked in that situation. He used to always hug other people's girlfriends (not that odd) and try to grab their asses while doing it (VERY ODD) and he was always flirting with the 8th graders. He tried and failed to fuck every single one of my female friends after getting pissed at me for calling him out on his literal pedo behaviour and one time he came to school shirtless in a fedora and started every sentence with "le" honestly I could go on about this motherfucker for ages with all the shit he's done, just weird stories in general from school/tafe I got in surplus, I always attract strange people for some reason (currently have a legitimate stalker) and yeh
So, I have a story to tell, about a girl who I used to ride the bus with, I wouldn't normally give out real names, but her name just... matches... her gross nature. Her name was Vida, and eugh, what a nasty piece of work she was. Let's start with how she looked. Imagine a 14 year old trying to dress up as an old woman, with a birds nest on her head, and huge warts/sores on her hands. She always had a grungy-looking Hannah Montana DS in one hand, and what appeared to be a rather ratty looking stuffed toy she called "Pussyfoot" in the other. She would constantly sing along to crappy pop music recordings that she had made on the DS, and when people told her to shut up, she'd just scream, carry on, and sing louder. If you carried on trying to get her to shut up, she'd scream "I can't help it I have autism!", and if you were really unlucky, she'd slap/claw at you with her disgusting, wart-covered hands. She had an older sister, who was obviously embarassed by the fact that she had such an invalid for a younger sibling. To make matters worse, she had a complete and utter hatred for me, for no reason whatsoever. She bit me once, and I'm lucky I didn't catch like rabies or something, and "Vida" disappeared from the bus shortly after that.
Guess she had to ride the short one
Wouldn't be overly surprised.
[QUOTE=ThatCrazyGmanV2;47763582] trying to drag me to games workshop to show off his shittily painted marines (I was chaos all day bruh and yes I was one of the weird kids)[/QUOTE] Not playin' orks You was boff muckin' about
Not weird but just really stupid, a girl in my class was playing some trivia game on her phone and asked people how many World Wars there were :v:
[QUOTE=Dr. Kyuros;47722460]Most of the kids at my school right now are either A): immature jokesters, B): actual weirdos whether positive or negative, or C): actually normal people, but sadly, that last one isn't too common. [/QUOTE] I feel your pain.
While at the urinals today, some guy took the one right next to me, even though the other ones were empty. He didn't unzip, didn't look over, just stood there, staring at the wall, hands at his side. I walked out of there so fast, didn't even wash my hands.
[QUOTE=Timezbrick;47765974]Not weird but just really stupid, a girl in my class was playing some trivia game on here phone and asked people how many World Wars there were :v:[/QUOTE] That's a good question actually. Some may consider the cold war the third world war. The war on terror may be technically world war four......
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