Weird Kids At Your School v2 dude wtf are you masturbating in band class
3,054 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Hypoxide;48544004]Why did they hire an English teacher that didn't understand prepositions?
"On this school."
Were they stood on the roof or something?[/QUOTE]
Shh i'm translating from Dutch :saddowns:
[QUOTE=Zotobom;48543860]Do teachers count?
We had a kid who didn't do anything for English and kept getting low grades and the teacher called him out and said (and I quote word for word): 'Do you even want to be on this school?'
The kid replied 'yes'. Teacher responded with 'Well, you can go to an easier school and become a baker, hairdresser or [b]homosexual[/b]''
:poot:[/QUOTE]
how can you be this stupid
Ah, yes. I remember the days of homosexual school. They were a breeze! Now I'm a sucessful homosexual.
There's 4 special ed kids in my 2nd period class. I'll update you if anything happens.
Speaking of teachers flubbing their words, when I was in high school we had a senior address in which our awesome principal Mr. Shiffrin took the stage and dropped this slab of linguistic excellence:
"Now is the time to put your, your best... your right foot... now's the time to put your foot forward. [B]Don't not do it; Do it![/B]"
That last part became a running joke among the senior class that year.
[QUOTE=Sega Saturn;48546185]Speaking of teachers flubbing their words, when I was in high school we had a senior address in which our awesome principal Mr. Shiffrin took the stage and dropped this slab of linguistic excellence:
"Now is the time to put your, your best... your right foot... now's the time to put your foot forward. [B]Don't not do it; Do it![/B]"
That last part became a running joke among the senior class that year.[/QUOTE]
i had something like this happen
principal was on stage and his main thesis (that he repeated a few times) was
(my high school town was called enterprise)
"Enterprise is a CONSTANT."
and he said it in this really thick southern accent and we just made fun of that the whole year
like how the fuck, of course a town is a constant, what the hell do you mean
Oh my god, this was hilarious. So, an autist in my 4th period, when the teacher gave him a book to keep, he asked in a nasally slow mexican-stereotype voice: "Are you going to meeeesss your booook?" Idk if it sounds funny here but it was funny as hell in class.
[QUOTE=FinalHunter;48547640]As opposed to an unsuccessful one?[/QUOTE]
Yep :0)
[QUOTE=FinalHunter;48547640]As opposed to an unsuccessful one?[/QUOTE]
I flunked homosexual studies when I got a boner for the opposite gender and not the same one.
[QUOTE=kilerabv;48547778]I flunked homosexual studies when I got a boner for the opposite gender and not the same one.[/QUOTE]
Is watching Drew Pickles speakonia videos part of the curriculum or what
[QUOTE=Sega Saturn;48546185]Speaking of teachers flubbing their words, when I was in high school we had a senior address in which our awesome principal Mr. Shiffrin took the stage and dropped this slab of linguistic excellence:
"Now is the time to put your, your best... your right foot... now's the time to put your foot forward. [B]Don't not do it; Do it![/B]"
That last part became a running joke among the senior class that year.[/QUOTE]
My class teacher was a big green day fan, and decided one day to play dookie on pretty high volume because why not. Eventually it all went of track and he started to jump on his desk and flipped it
[video=youtube;S5CNHNpGU9Y]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5CNHNpGU9Y[/video]
This was my principal from when I was in High School. I think he was probably the weirdest person at school.
[QUOTE=Sgt. Khorn;48549043][video=youtube;S5CNHNpGU9Y]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5CNHNpGU9Y[/video]
This was my principal from when I was in High School. I think he was probably the weirdest person at school.[/QUOTE]
Is it a coincidence that my HS calls us mavericks too?
There is this one kid in one of my classes that is a self-proclaimed communist. Other than that, my school is fairly normal/boring.
[QUOTE=Nightmare515;48549897]Is it a coincidence that my HS calls us mavericks too?[/QUOTE]
Mavericks are kinda common for mascots.
One time I was taking a shit in one of the bathroom stalls as a freshman (handicapped one because it's more roomy and there aren't any handicapped kids in my school anyway). The thing with these particular stalls at my school is that they have one of those sliding lock sort of things, their old and really jiggly. Anyway, minding my own business some senior kid jiggles the lock out of the holder and just barges in this stall and stares at me taking a shit for a solid 10 seconds and then leaves not saying a word. I don't know many of the senior kids so to this day I still don't know who the fuck this guy is.
[QUOTE=Sgt. Khorn;485490]
This was my principal from when I was in High School. I think he was probably the weirdest person at school.[/QUOTE]
"The biggest square in Squaresville"
No joke, he seems pretty chill. He's trying, at least.
i totally forgot about this thread and the fact that i was going to tell more stories of the [B]FEDORAFOLK[/B] sorry
i'll tell you about [B]SPAGHETTIMAN[/B] this time
Spaghettiman was the strange leprechaunesque being that sat to my left, just as Stone Cold sat to my right
the towers of our computers prevented me from seeing what was on his screen most of the time, but that didn't stop me from picking up on his oddities
for the first few days he wore a weird fedora made out of what appeared to be badly-folded leather. not very high on the cringe-scale but it gets worse
after some weeks he upgraded to wearing a neon yellow beanie that looked like it had been soaked in a vat of highlighter fluid for some days
after that, he began wearing one of the greatest horrors to the field of fashion: a fedora. but wait, he wore a fedora before, and they're pretty generic now, what makes this one especially horrendous? a simple answer: it had a [B]cyan plaid pattern[/B], had a [B]rainbow-colored band[/B], and had [B]fake decorative plastic glasses hotglued onto the top[/B].
he'd also wear bathrobes, trenchcoats, minecraft t-shirts, expensive-looking tuxedos... but his strange and volatile appearance was not what made him special
he'd always talk very quietly with the worst attempt at an english accent imaginable, like a chav choking on mustard, and he would never make eye contact with your face when talking. he would always ask random and inane questions, or try to act all cutesy once the only girl joined the class (she sat to his left) in the second semester. this is how he earned his name.
one day he turned to me and said, in his eargrating pseudoaccent, "[I]hello sir, do you like spaghetti?[/I]"; being a normal human being, i of course replied "[I]yes[/I]" (only inferior subhumans can reject such a sublime pasta). the next day, he did the same, inquiring about bacon this time. he did this to anyone who came within earshot, which was about 1.5 meters maximum. where was he going with this culinary profiling? nobody knows the answer, but it is surely not a pleasant one. another time, during a quiet moment when i was coding a damage system, he broke my concentration with "[I]hello sir, can you do magic tricks? can you pull a rabbit out of your hat?[/I]" (i never wear hats)
another time he had trouble dealing with what was likely a very simple problem, and he got up, brushed his hands over his tuxedo, and calmly stated to nobody in particular "[I]my hands are shaking like pears[/I]" (???)
he didn't do much else until the girl arrived. i see her arrival as a kind of turning point in the story of the fedorafolk, as many of them suddenly became much more active (hmm, i could only wonder why)
the girl sat next to him, prompting him to try and act all "silly" all the time for the rest of the year, because doing so endlessly and without pause from the very beginning is sure to make people attracted to you
some of his great quotes include "you know what's really weird? cylinders. lots and lots of cylinders" and "you silly goose, you can't fool me!", neither of which have any context. he'd say this kind of stuff all the time to the likely confused girl, but nothing beats the greatest compliment to a female of All Time:
"[I]you look like a dwarf![/I]"
[QUOTE=Bad Joe;48591641]
"[I]you look like a dwarf![/I]"[/QUOTE]
If I were the girl in his class and he turned to say that to me I'd kick his nugget so far into his body he'd keel over and die. But that's just me.
We have this one kid that wears a trench coat,fedora,camouflage pants and some military boots.
He's like 165cm tall and we call him "Potato, Gangster or The Russian" He once threatened to kill me with a pocket knife even though i wore a kevlar motorcycle jacket
ooh ooh here's a short one that isn't part of the fedorafolk but is threadworthy nonetheless
there's a guy who supposedly sprayed chickens with a hose until they died, after which he would fuck the corpses, and he always likes to touch people's shoulders as they walk by
[QUOTE=Bad Joe;48595224]there's a guy who supposedly sprayed chickens with a hose until they died, after which he would fuck the corpses, and he always likes to touch people's shoulders as they walk by[/QUOTE]
Dahmer 2.0
i used to have a pretty insane individual in my school that turned the entire school into a warzone with a hotdog,anyone interested?
me and my friend group are constantly followed by a black 6 foot monstrosity with mold for hair
his name is sam but we either call him weeb sam or anime sam because whenever he sees us he spouts meme-y cringe shit about anime and/or shows us his subpar drawings (which he has tried to sell to us)
he's asked out everyone in our friend group (2 girls, 7 guys) over the span of a year and believes we are his only friends since my friend had a conversation with him for the sake of being nice
me and friend group went to anime club at the local library as a half joke/half serious kind of deal and i guess anime sam caught wind of it so he showed up and recorded a video of us and threw it on youtube
he wears asthetically appealing shirts/upper arm shit only for it to be thwarted by the constant pair of cargo shorts and buckle sandals that i've never seen him without
my experience with him started last summer when i had a class with him which consisted of speaking in front of the class using a half-assed mario voice and poor powerpoints about history that probably took him 5 minutes to do
he also laughed when the plane hit the towers in the 9/11 documentary and really synergized with the actual disabled kid in the class when they had shouting sessions across the room about the 3ds
i guess he's sort of quieted down and now silently watches us from nearby more than anything but atleast once a week he tries to make contact
sorry for the piss poor formatting i kind of just spat out what i could remember
[QUOTE=Tarver;48595531]i used to have a pretty insane individual in my school that turned the entire school into a warzone with a hotdog,anyone interested?[/QUOTE]
Yes please, sounds interesting!
One of my roommates last year actually said that some of the people who won Nobel Prizes in the STEM fields were not smart people and how he is smarter because he was able to install arch linux. I'm being completely serious. I was speechless for like an hour after he said that.
[QUOTE=Bigstivie;48596504]Yes please, sounds interesting![/QUOTE]
Okay there seems to be quite a demand,hold on tight because it's gonna be a LONG story,I'm just gonna reacquire some pictures of the guy
[QUOTE=Bad Joe;48591641][B]SPAGHETTIMAN[/B][/QUOTE]
Oh my god dude, thank you so much, I was looking forward to the next episode.
I can make a whistle using only my nose (it doesn't even look like I'm doing anything). Because of this, during my entire senior year I would make this whistle noise and [i]no one but some of my friends found out it was me.[/i] I made one teacher have a nervous breakdown and give someone who sat behind me detention for like 5 days. Another time she threw a fucking eraser at someone on the other side of the classroom when he whistled, thinking he had been doing it the entire time.
They could never figure out that it was me because I would just look around like I was trying to find out where it was coming from.
[QUOTE=Tarver;48595531]i used to have a pretty insane individual in my school that turned the entire school into a warzone with a hotdog,anyone interested?[/QUOTE]
Here we go folks,this is the tale of a kid called Derrick.Ever wondered how it feels like to be in the same school as someone who could be potentially as bad as Chris Chan? Well you'll see.
Chapter 1:Close encounter of the third kind
The first time I met the fucknugget,he was walking around school stalking this one girl we'll call JP, when I say stalking,I mean the guy was literally trailing her by 6 feet,it was fucking hilarious.Anytime
she looked back,he would take out his Phone and start doing shit with it(even me and my buddy Jason were behind him taunting him pretending to tap buttons on a black screen :v:). She eventually caught up with the situation and led him unknowingly to the canteen where he apparently had a feud with some guy called Kim who coincidentally had the hots for JP(You already know where this is going
:v:).Kim saw her and started to hit off with her,now our friend Derrick here of course doesn't like it so we offered to give him advice.Jason,who is a sadistic bastard, manipulated the poor guy into thinking that he would probably get into JP's skirt if he unleashes the 'Alpha Mode' and challenge Kim to a fist fight.Just to put this in perspective,Kim is 6'2 and over 90 kilos whereas little Derrick was 4'11 so it's like throwing a monkey into a pond of crocodiles.I didn't really care that much because I thought Derrick was at least smart enough to realize Jason is taking the piss out of him but holy fuck was I wrong.
As me and Jason were about to adios our way to class,we heard tables flipping and when I turned around,some poor shmuck was hit in the head with a rice ball,we ducked and crawled our way into cover behind a bench.All I saw was Kim and his gang colliding with a bunch of Indians trading blows and hitting each other with plates and throwing spoons up each other asses.It was like those royal rumbles from wrestling :v:
We looked around for our man Derrick and saw him hiding under a table like a mice from cats.We called him out and as soon as he crawled out of there,some fat guy and another fat guy who got on top of the table carrying a poor little guy lost their balance and landed FLAT on their asses on Derrick's face when he looked up to see what was going on.At that point,me and Jason lost it and nearly died from laughing too hard once we saw what happened.Eventually the fight was broken up and all involved were reported to the Police except Derrick.
The next day,Kim and the Kats would not look eye to eye with Vargas(the leader of the Indian gang) and any eye contact was met with hostility.Keep in mind that Kim is your typical popular jock so that event created a huge divide in the school court.However,we knew that both sides weren't like this because I knew for a fact that both Kim and Vargas used to be cool so we had to interrogate our number one prime suspect Derrick.
When reccess hit,me and Jason waited outside class since Derrick always likes to go out last.Once everyone left,me and Jason entered the class and with the help of one of Jason's other friends,forced Derrick onto a chair and started questioning him.Apparently when me and Jason were not looking, Derrick went to buy a hotdog from one of the food stalls since he was so hungry and reccess was about to end.Once he bought the hotdog,he started to think about what Jason said about unleashing your 'Alpha Mode' and wanted to beat the shit out of Kim but even he was at least intelligent enough to know that Kim would roll him into a ball within minutes so instead the bastard threw the Hotdog at Kim's face when he was too busy flirting with JP.This was of course funny to Vargas which made Kim think that HE was the one who threw the hotdog which started the fistfight.Of course,this story is only the icing on the cake as Derrick would eventually end up on court for attempted 'assassination' but I'll post it on another day I guess.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.