[QUOTE=Lambeth;19070695]They were gassed, then cremated. No screaming involved.[/QUOTE]
Not in my camp :D
How do you blindfold an asian person?
with dental floss
snip
I have divided these jokes into sections depending on race. :smug:
[u][b]Arab[/b][/u]
Why is the Afghan Air Force so easy to train?
[i]You only have to teach them how to take off.[/i]
Why aren't there any Wal*Marts in Afghanistan?
[i]Because there's a target on every corner.[/i]
What do you call an Arab playing polo?
[i]A camel jockey.[/i]
What's the difference between an American girl and an arab girl?
[i]American girls get stoned before they commit adultery.[/i]
Why are arab football (soccer) teams so shitty?
[i]Everytime they get a corner they open up a shop.[/i]
[u][b]African Americans[/b][/u]
A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin asking, "How did the human race start?". Sarah Palin answered, "God made Adam and Eve, they had children and all mankind was made." The next day the little girl wrote to michelle obama and asked the same question. Michelle obama answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys in africa from which the human race evolved." The confused girl went to her father and asked, "How come Sarah Palin told me that mankind was created by God, and michelle obama told me mankind evolved from monkeys?" Her father answeres, "Well, it's very simple . . . Sarah Palin told you about her ancestors, and michelle obama told you about hers!"
Did you hear Hallmark was making an obama Christmas ornament?
[i]They want to give Americans the gift they all want, that nigger hanging in a tree.[/i]
How do you know Noah was a White man?
[i]No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens.[/i]
A white guy and a black guy shared a house. One day the house burnt down and only the white guy lived. Why?
[i]The white guy was at work.[/i]
What do you call two blacks on one bike?
[i]Organized crime.[/i]
Why are niggers getting stronger?
[i]TVs are getting bigger.[/i]
What does NAACP stand for?
[i]Niggers Against All Caucasian People[/i]
[u][b]Mexicans[/b][/u]
Did you hear the one about the mexican that went to college?
[i]Me neither.[/i]
What do you call four mexicans who can't swim?
[i]Quatro Sinco.[/i]
Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
[i]So Puerto Ricans can window shop![/i]
How do you hide money from a mexican?
[i]Hide it under a bar of soap![/i]
[u][b]Jews[/b][/u]
How do you get 100 jews into a car?
[i]Throw a quarter in it.[/i]
How do you get them out again?
[i]Tell them Hitler is driving[/i]
What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
[i]Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew[/i]
What's the difference between a jew and a vampire?
[i]One is a blood sucking vampire, and the other has wings.[/i]
[u][b]Asians[/b][/u]
How do you blind a Chinese person?
[i]Put a windshield in front of them.[/i]
One day it was decided to build a bridge from Europe to America. The U.N. set up three representatives to design and build it. One American, one German and one Chinese. After a month the U.N. leader came to check out the progress. He say the American and German sitting on the ground and asks what they're doing. They tell him the design is finished, but they're waiting for the Chinaman with the supplies. The U.N. leader walks around looking for the Chinaman. When he turns the corner he is startled when the Chinaman jumps out from behind a rock yelling, "Supplies! Supplies!". (Asian talk for Surprise! Surprise!)
How do you know if an Asian robbed your house?
[i]Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the Asian is still trying to back out of your driveway.[/i]
[u][b]Women[/b][/u]
Want to hear a joke?
[i]Women's rights.[/i]
Why did the woman cross the road?
[i]It doesn't matter, why was she out of the kitchen in the first place?[/i]
What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
[i]The back of my hand.[/i]
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
[i]The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.[/i]
Why don't women need a watch?
[i]There's a clock on the stove.[/i]
Did you know there are female hormones in beer?
[i]If you drink too it makes you talk crap and drive horrible.[/i]
Why do they call it PMS?
[i]Cause mad cow disease was already taken.[/i]
[u][b]Blonde[/b][/u]
When can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
[i]When she cant find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.[/i]
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
[i]Twist the cork and throw it back.[/i]
How do you kill a blonde?
[i]Put spikes on her shoulders and ask her a question.[/i]
How do you keep a blonde busy?
[i]Put her in a circled room and tell her to find a corner.[/i]
Why did the blonde have to drink a hot Pepsi?
[i]Because she couldnt fit the ice in the bottle.[/i]
A blonde and a brunette jumped off a building which landed first and why?
[i]The brunette because the blonde had to ask for directions.[/i]
How do you drown a blonde?
[i]Put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of a swimming pool.[/i]
Why is a blonde like a turtle?
[i]They're both screwed when they're on their back.[/i]
That's all folks!
A man goes to a camel dealer in the desert. The dealer explains the man that when you say 'pewpew' the camel will start walking, when you say 'phew' the camel will start race and when you say 'halt' it will stop.
The man buys the camel, gets on the camel and says 'pewpew' and the camel starts walking slowly. The man wants it to get faster and shouts 'phew' and the camel goes really fast, like it's racing. He likes it until he sees comes to the edge of a cliff. The man shouts 'stop, stop!' but the camel does not respond. Just at the edge, the man remembers the word and says 'halt!' and the camel stops.
Phew
The game.
So a man was drinking beer at a bar. He was having fun but he noticed the time and went back home.
At his home, he saw his beautiful wife, half naked right in front of him. She said 'Get some rope, tie me to something and you can do anything you like', so the man grabbed some rope, tied her in her bed and went back to the bar.
A disaster happened in Mexico: Germany sends medicine, France sends doctors and America sends new mexicans.
A sudden day a daughter's belly was rising and her dad asked her who did it.
An hour later a Farrari stopped at their front door and a rich dressed man stepped out and explained the parents:
Because family problems i can't marry yet but if it's a boy he gets 2 million euros, a house and a factory, if it's a girl she gets 2 million euros, a car and her own mall, if it are twins, they both get 1 million euros and both a house but if it's a miscarriage...
But the girl's father put a hand on his shoulder and said: then you fuck her agian....
There's a black man walking down the street with a parrot on his shoulder.
A little boy comes up to him and asks "Where did you get it?"
The parrot squawks "Africa"
[QUOTE=The Inzuki;19067962]9 out of 10 people enjoy gangrape.[/QUOTE]
That's quite a rough joke to be thrown in the middle of like 20 people.
[editline]08:18PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Stynax;19084315]I'm not racist because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.[/QUOTE]
Haehaehae. That's straight off the picture.
"You know we should stop with the racists jokes.."
"Yeah, racism is a crime"
"And crime is for niggers!"
":D"
":D"
How many jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle?
4 in the car seat, [sp]400 in the ash tray[/sp]
Me: *walking out of movie theatre, just saw Dark Knight. Sees sad guy*
Me: Why so serious?
Guy: I just lost my job, told my wife about it, she killed my kids, trashed my car, and killed herself. And you?
Me: :buddy: lol
What's Jews' favourite perfume?
[sp]Zyklon B[/sp]
Why am I laughing at this?
How are a black woman and a hockey player alike?
They each change their pads after every 3 periods.
How do you kill a Nigger?
Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Why is santas sack so big?
[sp]he only comes once a year[/sp]
[QUOTE=Flip pl;19130328]What's Jews' favourite perfume?
[sp]Zyklon B[/sp]
Why am I laughing at this?[/QUOTE]
That's horrible.
Three people are stranded on a lifeboat: One American, one Italian, one Mexican.
The Mexican throws out his lunch, some tacos. The American and Italian say "Dude? What was that for?"
The Mexican promptly replies "We have too much of this in our country."
The Italian then throws out his lunch, a pizza. The American and Mexican say "Dude, what was that for?"
The Italian also replies "We have too much of this in our country."
The American then proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the boat. The Italian says "Dude, why'd you do that?"
"We have too much of this in our country", the American replies.
How do you save a nigger from drowning ?
[sp]You take your foot off his head[/sp]
What's the difference between Bat Man and a black man?
[sp]Batman can go into a store without Robin.[/sp]
How many Jews can you fit in a VW?
[sp]2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 10,000 in the ashtray...[/sp]
What's blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a swimming pool?
[sp] A dead baby with slashed floaties.[/sp]
How do you know if a blond has been using the computer?
[sp]The joystick is wet[/sp]
What wears a red shirt and doesn't like anal sex?
[sp]The kid I'm hiding in my trunk[/sp]
How do you know your wife is dead?
[sp]The sex is the same, but the dirty dishes pile up in the kitchen[/sp]
What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
[sp]Boy scouts come alive out of camps[/sp]
One thats so not funny its funny
Why did the skeleton not go to the costume party?
[sp]Because he had no-body to go with[/sp]
I'm not racist.
[QUOTE=Stynax;19084315]I'm not racist because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.[/QUOTE]
Fucking post OF THE YEAR.
[quote]Fucking post OF THE YEAR.[/quote]
Oh god. /Facedesk
[QUOTE=headshotter;19136701]Fucking post OF THE YEAR.[/QUOTE]
You haven't read very many posts this year, have you?
Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?
A: A rape victim.
Oh, I got a new one: 2 pretzels were walking down the street and one was assaulted.
Whats the difference between the McCanns and Garry glitter? Garry glitter will watch the kids.
A man is driving a shipment of cannon balls to a different town. Its the middle of the night, and he doesn't see a black man who is crossing the road. He hits him, and kills the man instantly. Panicking, he gets out, opens the back of the truck, and throws the black man in. Now panicking, he hits another black man, this one on a bike. He puts the bike and the man in the back again, really scared now. He's so scared, his erratic driving attracts the attention of a police officer. The police officer pulls him over, and is about to check him for alcohol when he notices how panicked the man is. Suspecting the man to be a drug runner, he goes to the back and opens it up. He returns the the cabin moments later, with a regretful look on his face. He says to the man "I think you've been fucked over. Your shipment of nigger eggs has started to hatch, and ones already stolen a bike!".
[editline]02:22AM[/editline]
Whats worse than asking Michael Jackson to watch the kids? Letting the McCanns take them on holiday.
What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter? Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.
It's Christmas and your 2 children are opening presents you say do you like them and instead of listening to them your farting really loud and your wife catches it on film.
You heard the one about the Pontiac, poor ol'..... well oh wait shit.
Why are Asians yellow? because god pissed on them instead of pissing on the niggers.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
[sp] he saw the gas bill [/sp]
What did the blind, deaf, mute kid get for Christmas?
[sp] Cancer [/sp]
Why did little Tim fall off the swingset?
[sp] He doesn't have any arms [/sp]
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