Four gays are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One gay says, "Ok, who farted?"
Hey guys, stop making Holocaust jokes. I found out my grandpa died in a concentration camp... He fell off the guard tower.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a dictionary?
[sp]A dictionary has papers.[/sp]
What's the difference between a Mexican and a large pizza?
[sp]A large pizza can feed a family of four.[/sp]
My half-Mexican friend has a lot of these jokes.
Okay I haven't seen this one yet:
Q: Santa, a smart Mexican, a dumb Mexican, and the Easter Bunny are all in a maze. Who makes it out first?
A: The dumb mexican, the others don't exist.
A woman is looking at herself in the mirror and says to her husband "I'm fat and I'm ugly, pay me a compliment."
The husband turns to her and replies, "You've got perfect eyesight."
This Thread
let's make like a baby and head out
A guy takes his girlfriend to the doctor.
The doctor walks in and says to the guy "The test results are back - we think she's either got Alzheimer's or AIDs."
The guy says "What? Can't you tell the difference?"
The doctor says "Unfortunately no - the tests for the two are so similar it's incredibly hard to tell the difference. I'll tell you what, though. Get her in the car, drive to the outskirts of town and drop her off, and if she finds her way home... don't fuck her."
[QUOTE=BrickInHead;19140747]let's make like a baby and head out[/QUOTE]
Lets make like my wife's legs and split.
Really dont want to look through 4 pages of jokes so:
What can a bench do that a black man can't? support a family of four.
Yo mommas like a vaccum. She sucks, she blows, and she gets laid in the closet.
Snip if repost.
EDIT: What did the guy say after he made a hellen keller joke? Dont worry she didn't hear it.
Three guys in a helicopter. They all drop one item out. The first guy drops a penny. The next guy drops an apple. The last guy drops a bomb. They land and they see a kid crying. They ask him "Whats wrong?" I just got hit on the head by a penny! They keep walking and they see another kid crying. They ask him and he got hit on the head by an apple. They keep walking to the last kid, whose laughing, and they ask "Whats so funny?" I just farted and a house blew up.
Manners, Shit, and Yourself (I) are in a car. Shit falls out of the car. Manners goes to help pick him up. A cop pulls you over, and he says "License and registration". You reply "Fuck you". Excuse me? "Fuck. You." Sir, where are your manners? "Back there pickin up shit".
What's more fun than throwing babies down a balcony?
Being under the balcony with a pitchfork.
Dont know if this counts buuut...
If a man hits a women with his car, who is to blame?
The man. He shouldnt have been driving in the kitchen!
a man fucked a baby
*rimshot*
[QUOTE=OldHickory;19145246]Dont know if this counts buuut...
If a man hits a women with his car, who is to blame?
The man. He shouldnt have been driving in the kitchen![/QUOTE]
If a man hits a women with his car, who is to blame?
The woman. Why is she out of the kitchen?
[editline]7:18PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Cidem;19144142]Lets make like my wife's legs and split.[/QUOTE]
Avatar fits so fucking well :D
Person #1: Do you know how to save a nigger?
Person #2: no.
[sp]Person #1: Good[/sp]
a horse fucking a baby
*rimshot*
[QUOTE=I am a noob;19073001]What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
I usually don't cum on apples before I eat them.[/QUOTE]
Err.. It's actually whats the difference between a pimple and a priest?
A pimple waits till your 12 to come on your face
[QUOTE=Thomas849;19140398]Hey guys, stop making Holocaust jokes. I found out my grandpa died in a concentration camp... He fell off the guard tower.[/QUOTE]
I know I'm probably gonna be rated dumb, but... why?
[QUOTE=metalhead121;19146153]I know I'm probably gonna be rated dumb, but... why?[/QUOTE]
Its a joke?
[QUOTE=DrumStick;19146162]Its a joke?[/QUOTE]
Well, I don't get it.
[QUOTE=metalhead121;19146318]Well, I don't get it.[/QUOTE]
His father died in a concentration camp, but not as a jew in the oven, but as a guard who was so pathetic and clumsy that he fell off the guard tower. What's not to get?
how do you stop a baby crying?
take your dick out it's ass and put it in it's mouth.
You mom is like a bowling ball. Fingered in all holes, then thrown in the gutter.
Yo momma so fat if she was a planet she'd revolve round the fridge.
So a baby seal walks into a club.
A jew with an erection runs into a wall, what happens?
He breaks his nose.
A hot blonde woman walks into a hospital
A doctor see's and instantly invites her into his room for a check up
he tells her to take off her top - she does
he tells her to take off her pants- she does
he tells her to bend over his desk - she does
he then proceedes to have sex with her.
he then asks "so why were you at the hospital today?"
she replies "I think i have an STD"
also:
your mum is like the macarina; everyone did her at parties in the eighties
why dont you throw a rock at an aboriginal driving a car?
because it's probly your car
how do you know if an aboriginal has broken into your house?
the fridge is empty, the cat is pregnant and the petrol has been syphened out of your car.
A boy walks up to his father and asks if he wants a jelly bean.
the father takes the offer, he shoves his hand into the jar of jelly beans
the black one steals his watch
your mum is so fat, if she wears a yellow t-shirt the sun gets jelous
your mum is so fat if she walks it would throw the earth out of orbit
sorry about the racism im not racist usually
Guys, stop making racist jokes. People get hurt because of them. For example, I saw someone with a laptop in a helicopter. He saw this thread and fell over laughing.
Yeah, I suck at jokes. This is because I hate anything offensive.
[QUOTE=Mercykiller;19139803]Four gays are sitting in a hot tub. They notice some sperm rising to the surface. One gay says, "Ok, who farted?"[/QUOTE]
Oh god my dad told me that :ohdear:
A black, an arab, and a mexican walk into a bar. The bartender says "Get the fuck out".
[QUOTE=UberDave;19152450]A black, an arab, and a mexican walk into a bar. The bartender says "Get the fuck out".[/QUOTE]
:laugh:
Emm, a swedish one
Vad är likheten mellan Ängla och Elgiganten?
[sp] Cykel på köpet![/sp]
[QUOTE=Jamsponge;19150835]Guys, stop making racist jokes. People get hurt because of them. For example, I saw someone with a laptop in a helicopter. He saw this thread and fell over laughing.
Yeah, I suck at jokes. This is because I hate anything offensive.[/QUOTE]
Now, I KNOW that's not a joke.
Either that or it's not funny.
Eww, what is it with the baby-jokes? They're gory and shit, seems like facepunch got some guro-baby fetish going on, eh?
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