What's long and black?
[sp] the unemployment line [/sp]
[QUOTE=iLife_Aftermath;19152961]Emm, a swedish one
Vad är likheten mellan Ängla och Elgiganten?
[sp] Cykel på köpet![/sp][/QUOTE]
translated: What is the similarity between Angel and GO?
Bicycle for sale!
i guess its just a Swedish thing...
[QUOTE=ChuckR;19202825]translated: What is the similarity between Angel and GO?
Bicycle for sale!
i guess its just a Swedish thing...[/QUOTE]
Engla was a nine year old girl in sweden who got raped and killed.
Hope everyone gets it now.
"A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips..."
:q:
*Crazy Manical Laughter*
[QUOTE=bigdan;19072844]On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid replies, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."[/QUOTE]
that joke actually originated about 3 hours from where I live!
A little girl is sitting on a bridge. She's crying. An old man is walking towards her.
Old man: Hello sweetie, why are you so sad?
Girl: My mum and dad jumped of the bridge and died.
The old man unbuttons his pants
Old man: Well, today is not your day...
What do you call 100,000 men holding white flags?
[sp]The French Army[/sp]
How do you fit twenty black men in a car?
[sp]Throw in a welfare check[/sp]
How do you get them out?
[sp]Throw in a job application[/sp]
How many men does it take to open a beer?
[sp]None, it should be open when the woman brings it to him[/sp]
There are 3 pilots in the cockpit. One says 'damn, there's a hot new stewardess, I'd really like to fuck her' and goes to the toilet. 30 minutes later he comes back and says 'She was alright but still my wife was better!'
The second one also wants to fuck her and goes to the toilet. 30 minutes later he returns. He says 'Ah, she was alright, but you were right, your wife was better'
Why do Mexicans have tamales on Christmas?
So there kids can have something to unwrap. That is really Fucked up
A kid comes home and says 'mom, I just had sex for the first time of my life!'. His mother gets really angry and shouts 'Go to your room, now! We'll see when your dad comes home'
So a few hours later, his father comes in his room and says 'son, I'm proud of you, that you achieved this at such young age. If I were you, I'd do it tomorrow too! And the day after that!'
The kid replies with 'Nah, my butt still hurts from the first time'
A fucked up joke?
You mean women's right?
[QUOTE=OldHickory;19145246]Dont know if this counts buuut...
If a man hits a wom[highlight]a[/highlight]n with his car, who is to blame?
The man. He shouldnt have been driving in the kitchen![/QUOTE]
1 woman
2 women:cop:
I eat babies.
I was joking..
^ youre batman not heavy
Why does Beyonce sing "To the Left?"
[i]Because Black people have no rights![/i]
Oh god, how racist.
[QUOTE=kingsean96;19205466]Why does Beyonce sing "To the Left?"
[i]Because Black people have no rights![/i]
Oh god, how racist.[/QUOTE]
I've heard this joke so much I rate you late and rate myself agree.
-Snip-
What's the difference between madeline mccann and a ferrari?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage. :smug:
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store nuts in you for the Winter and now I am dead!"
It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Why did the toddler drop his lolipop?
Because he got ran over by a truck.
How do you get 40 jews in a smart?
Say Hitler is around.
How do you get the 40 out of the smart?
Say the car runs on gas.
What do you call a jew with a gas canister?
A user.
What do you call a jew with 2 gas canisters?
A dealer.
3 Men arrive at heaven and the guard asks them how they died.
First man: i came home early from work and noted my wife laying naked on our bed so i checked the closet, below the bed and then noted 2 hands on the balcony so i kicked them off but the man survived by landing on a tree so i trew our fridge off the balcony and it fell right on the tree.
Third man: so how did you die then?
First man: my leg got stuck at the cord from the fridge, how about you?
Second man: I was cleaning windows and i fell, but managed to grab a balcony but then a idiot kicked on my feet, so i fell down and a tree saved my life but that idiot trew a fridge at me and here i am, and how about you then?
Third man: I was having sex with another women but the husband came home earlier so i hide in a fridge and here i am...
How do you drive a Jewish man crazy?
Put him into a circular room and say: "There's a penny in the corner."
How many times can a baby spin in a microwave before it dies?
I dunno, i was to busy jacking off.
[QUOTE=BrQ;19204658]A kid comes home and says 'mom, I just had sex for the first time of my life!'. His mother gets really angry and shouts 'Go to your room, now! We'll see when your dad comes home'
So a few hours later, his father comes in his room and says 'son, I'm proud of you, that you achieved this at such young age. If I were you, I'd do it tomorrow too! And the day after that!'
The kid replies with 'Nah, my butt still hurts from the first time'[/QUOTE]
I wish I hadn't done that
Whats worse than 10 babies tied to one tree
[sp]one baby tied to 10 trees![/sp]
How do you torture Helen Keller
[sp]tell her to read a basketball[/sp]
Why didn't helen Keller scream when she was pushed off an airplane
[sp]she was wearing mittens[/sp]
What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies
[sp]I don't have a Ferrari in my garage[/sp]
if it hasn't already been posted
Q: Whats the worst part of being a black jew?
A: you have to sit in the back of the oven.
[QUOTE=Fatfatfatty;19283102]if it hasn't already been posted
Q: Whats the worst part of being a black jew?
A: you have to sit in the back of the oven.[/QUOTE]
No, they'd be in the front - if they were sent in last (Like they usually were).
[QUOTE=pod;19273666]A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store nuts in you for the Winter and now I am dead!"
It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.[/QUOTE]
I don't know why, but this is hilarious.
[QUOTE=iLife_Aftermath;19152961]Emm, a swedish one
Vad är likheten mellan Ängla och Elgiganten?
[sp] Cykel på köpet![/sp][/QUOTE]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2rhaUZ84oM[/media]
:wtc:
What more funny than ten babies in a trash bin?
One baby in ten trash bins.
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