What did the little black kid get for christmas?
My Bike
A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,
"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."
The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."
You're so black, when you get out of the car, the oil light comes on.
I have bad luck with planning vacations, 2 years ago i wanted to go to Indonesia but a tsunami stroke and ruined my vacation.
Now i wanted to go to Haiti and an earthquake ruined it.
Next year im going to Mexico.
What do you call a black priest?
[sp]Holy Shit[/sp]
not intended to be racist, but it's a pretty mean.
What did the black man say when he saw a pile of shit outside his door?
[sp]NOOO, MY SON HAS MELTED![/sp]
What's red, blue, white, purple, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, red?
[sp]A baby in a blender.[/sp]
What gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.
Two men are at a sea side bar by a cliff, they've both had a bit to drink when one says:
[I]Hey, I bet you it's so windy down that cliff, that if I jumped off, the wind would push me right back up![/I]
There other man disagrees but the first man jumps off, and sure enough comes right back up, again and again.
The other man says he'll have ago, and proceeds to jump off to his death.
The barman comes over to the first man and says:
[I]Y'know, superman, you ca be a real dick when you've had a few to drink.[/I]
Did you hear about the Jewish sports car? It stops on a dime then picks it up
What goes 1, 14, 29, 84, 136?
Haitis Postman.
Did you hear about the earthquake in haiti?
It caused 100 million dollars worth of improvements.
Your fat is so mamma it cooked dinner.
[QUOTE=Myrrdin;19204050]"A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips..."
:q:
*Crazy Manical Laughter*[/QUOTE]
Isn't that from Stargate SG-1....
[QUOTE=Camdude90;20066037]Isn't that from Stargate SG-1....[/QUOTE]
Yeah.
I had a lecturer today that looked like Dr Jackson. (at an openday) it was weird.
How do you approach a muslim?
With a bomb squad.
[QUOTE=Jimbojib;20063372]Two men are at a sea side bar by a cliff, they've both had a bit to drink when one says:
[I]Hey, I bet you it's so windy down that cliff, that if I jumped off, the wind would push me right back up![/I]
There other man disagrees but the first man jumps off, and sure enough comes right back up, again and again.
The other man says he'll have ago, and proceeds to jump off to his death.
The barman comes over to the first man and says:
[I]Y'know, superman, you ca be a real dick when you've had a few to drink.[/I][/QUOTE]
I don't get it...
Yo Mamma's so fat she has her own gravitational field
Yo Mamma's so stupid she gets hit by parked cars
[QUOTE=UnknownDude;20066341]I don't get it...[/QUOTE]
Superman can fly so it wasn't the wind pushing him back up.
I got fired from my job for sticking my fingers in the pickle slicer
She got fired too
This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"
There are two things I hate in this world, racism and that black fucker down the road.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He received the gas bill.
What do you do when you see a shadow hanging over your daughter?
[sp]shoot the black guy fucking her[/sp]
If bananas got you drunk, gorillas would be messed up all the time.
How do you make a dad baby float
take your foot off it's head
how do you make a dead baby float
2 scoops of baby and a cup of root beer
What happens to the black guy who got eaten by his brother?
[sp]Nothing, he was the same in, and the same out.[/sp]
This joke makes me laugh every time:
500 Punches in the face in 1 second...
What is the worst part about being black and jewish?
[sp]You have to go to the back of the oven.[/sp]
Also, I am not racist nor am I antisemitic.
A statistic read that 99% of all black men prefer sex in the shower.
[sp]The other 1% hasn't been to prison yet.[/sp]
2 scientists are at the lab
The first man says "That photonic displacment orb is very energizied when I gave it a picture or Chare"
The second man says "Thats no photonic displacment orb, THATS MY WIFE"
A black guy walks into McDonalds and asks for a job, the man answers:
"Of course, and you will get a Ferrari and 1,000,000 dollars the first day!"
"Are you kidding me?!" The black guy answers.
"Yes, but you started..." The man answers.
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