This thread is like this one [url]http://forums.bad-dragon.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=419[/url]
only that one is full of overly creepy ass users :ohdear:
[QUOTE=rysnyper455;20678973]This thread is like this one [url]http://forums.bad-dragon.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=419[/url]
only that one is full of overly creepy ass users :ohdear:[/QUOTE]
It's Bad Dragon. What did you expect.
I got some hot sauce on my hands from a bit earlier, and unknown to me at the time, even when it looks like it is gone: it isn't. Started out burning a bit and I didn't think much of it, but I then found myself in the bathroom extinguishing the fire within a couple of minutes.
[QUOTE=Wonky;20656743]As I sit here, typing this story, I look back at the single most awful wank I have ever had in my life, and just think to myself how all of this could have been stopped, how having a piece of tissue on hand could have prevented my room from becoming a shit-stained cum soaked mess.
Today, around four I decided to jack off for the first time in about three months. Between school, sports, and friends it has been really busy, so I decided I was overdue for some "me" time. A side note: I had to shit a little bit before I started. I took my seat at my laptop, jumped on redtube, and got to work. About 10 minutes in I was just about done when I could feel my shit about to push out, so I decided to finish up. Ready to blow my load I reached into my desk drawer to grab a tissue, but the box was fucking empty. At this point the logical thing to do would have been to just cum on my hands and then rush to the bathroom to take a shit. Unfortunately, I was not thinking clearly at this time. So, I jumped out of my chair and quickly walked to the bathroom with my pants down. On the way there I walked under the ceiling fan in my room, which was on the highest setting.
The next 37 seconds of my life were a mix of pure ecstasy and sheer horror. The air blowing over my dick caused me to orgasm. This was NOT your standard “wank for 10 minutes” orgasm, this was a “holy fucking shit” deal. I was sort of frozen in this state of pleasure, but then things went to hell. As a result of this mind-blowing jerk my load managed to shoot up and into the fan (the fan is about 7 feet from the floor). It wasn't just blown back down, it somehow hit the fan blades. This resulted in a sort of semen mist that was sprayed all over the room. The walls, the floor, my face, everywhere. Also, at the exact time all of this was happening my bowels decided enough was enough and let loose. Oh, but this was no ordinary shit either, this was more of a mud avalanche. My ass cheeks tightened and the crap, somehow accelerated from my jacking off, flew out my ass, spraying everywhere (taco bell does not agree with me). I stood in place, my jaw on the floor as I gazed at this cum covered shit stained room, and was frozen by the sheer insanity of what the fuck had just happened.
And so, the cleanup began. I used this steam-vac thing to get the shit and cum out of the carpet, and some magic erasers for the walls and ceiling. I've sprayed about a full can of air freshener in here, but now it just smells like shit, cum, and flowers.
MS Paint picture for the lazy or illiterate:
[IMG]http://filesmelt.com/dl/ohmygod.png[/IMG]
Post your worst fapping story![/QUOTE]
post this whole story in GD.
[editline]06:54AM[/editline]
My mom walked in...
With my whole family.
[QUOTE=THEMikeDurham;20678716]leave it up to the anime boy to relate my post to scat[/QUOTE]
the correct term is "asian", and you are an idiot
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;20656786]I masterbating slowly so I wouldn't cum in my pants(and yet still get the "Feel Good" feeling) but then the urge became too strong and I came all in my pants[/QUOTE]
.
I once, while fappimg before bed, I noticed I was getting a bit dry. Nevertheless, I continued, unfortunately I think the dryness cause the hole in the head to itch like crazy. I had felt this sort of thing before, and masturbating again seemed to stop it that time. After fapping agian, I still itched like crazy. I ended up huddled in my bed, moving my feet trying deperately occupy my mind...
this thread just made my day
[QUOTE=PeanutTHENINJA;20660070]Embarrassing experience that lead to great things, that actually only happened this weekend:
So with me and my Crossdressing fetish, and being almost home alone (Brother was there, but in his room being A. A weaboo fagot B. Playing TF2 C. Playing WoW) I decide to dress up as a girl using some rolled up boxers, and a T-shirt worn as a dress and stay upstairs and generally have an one-crossdressing fagot orgy until I heard the garage door open. So about thirty minutes pass, I'm still orgying under my bed when the doorbell rings. My brother gets out of his room (His room is downstairs.) and it's one of my friends. My brother sends my friend upstairs, and I'm half naked with improvised dildos in my mouth and ass fapping my brains out. He comes upstairs, and I think when he saw I wasn't at my computer and heard me going "Mhm mhm mhm" and "fap fap fap fap fap fap" he kinda got an idea what I was doing. He walks into my room and sees me on the floor, but doesn't act too surprised at all. He says "I always knew you were some kinda of fagot" and pulls down his pants. We proceed to have sex.
tl;dr: I was megafaging and my friend walking in on me and we had sex.[/QUOTE]
I got a bonner.
[QUOTE=halflambada;20678917]I came buckets[/QUOTE]
Ow.
[QUOTE=THEMikeDurham;20678716]leave it up to the anime boy to relate my post to scat[/QUOTE]
You can't call him a weaboo as he is Asian, so you called him the next best thing, an anime boy. I haven't seen such a pathetic insult in my entire life.
I'm glad stuff like this has never happened to me
she woke up half way through
[QUOTE=Doomish;20678446]I was in the shower and I slipped and fell on my face while I was going for the soap and I had a big ol' stiffy and my mom heard me fall and thought i was hurt and opened the door and oh god it wasn't good[/QUOTE]
Lock the door.
I'm fapping to this thread :smug:
One day, I was beating the bishop happily, nothing unusual happening.
And when I'm about to blast off I grab a tissue and my prostate decides that instead of being the gentle cumlaunching giant it normally is, it'll grab a hammer and helmet and play Thor.
So I'm covering my cock up, hoping the 2 tissues (all I had left) will be able to withstand the beam of manjuice.
And, I, fire.
I shoot the single most awesome load at the greatest amount of force EVER, blasting right through the tissues effectively giving myself a facial.
My nose started bleeding while I was fapping, and then I came on the wall.
:frown:
fapped in the shower
soap made it burn
i cried
This thread is dildos
my first one and any other experience were I came in my pants.
I was masturbating in bed when my alarm went off, I looked at it and obviously aimed something incorrectly because I felt something smack against my cheek with a warm sensation, was horrible.
why do you nerds believe this
[QUOTE=Van Gogh;21124280]why do you nerds believe this[/QUOTE]
Why do you idiots megabump threads?
one time i just sat fapping .. wile my dog was laying in the corner of the room .. she just stared at me for the 30 min it took with that "What the fudge are you doing.." look on her face .. 0.o
Here's a tip for you all: never fap in the bath, seems like a really good idea until you cum in the water and it spreads out and covers you in a sticky mess. I had to have a shower and also clean the sticky residue off the sides of the bath after trying that one
Cramp in foot at point of no return, that shit was bad.
[quote=crpto2007]Well today I was fapping and the second I got an orgasm I felt a really bad cramp in my foot. pain and orgasm do not go together..so yeah it was pretty bad.[/quote]
Oh god we share the same join date and the same experience, the feeling is terrible I had to hop around my room D:
[QUOTE=FINLEY;21127409]Here's a tip for you all: never fap in the bath, seems like a really good idea until you cum in the water and it spreads out and covers you in a sticky mess. I had to have a shower and also clean the sticky residue off the sides of the bath after trying that one[/QUOTE]
I did that once, and I didn't think any more of it. Then a few hours later, I found all these flaky patches of "skin" on my leg, which I scratched off with much gusto. An hour later I realised....:ohdear:
[QUOTE=cyclocius;21128244]I did that once, and I didn't think any more of it. Then a few hours later, I found all these flaky patches of "skin" on my leg, which I scratched off with much gusto. An hour later I realised....:ohdear:[/QUOTE]
my bed was full of them the next day
New one:
So every now and then I feel a bit cooped up inside and so I go outside.
A fence goes around m house and there's a little section that no windows cover.
So I'm outside, about 5 feet away from the fence and against the wall. On a rock, too, the whole area over there is rocky. Dunno why I did it outside.
Turns out I had the most forceful and breathtaking jizz, shooting it about 3 or feet in the air, all the way to the fence, and now there's a large white splat shaped stain there :ohdear:
Still not as bad/funny as my first one :v:
Not adjusting the sight, it landed in my armpit.
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