[QUOTE=Slowbro;37699405]What an insanely insensitive thread title...[/QUOTE]
More like: What the fuck moments in school/college/whatever
[QUOTE=geogzm;37700331]Someone needs to post Roemer[/QUOTE]
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[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/55009580/aNQC.jpg[/t]
[t]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/55009580/H8Gt.jpg[/t]
[img]http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/5933/20120917180548.png[/img]
best thing ever
I recall another.
I was in like 7th or 8th grade, and I had a classmate with autism, let's call him Lukas. More severe autism. Lukas was generally a nice guy, but he could do very, very stupid things.
In class, we had these electric pencil sharpeners. Nothing too special. So one day, we're in class, about halfway through the year, but Lukas had never used such a sharpener. So I look up, see Lukas walking up to the sharpener, turn back to my work. Look back a few seconds later, [B]the sharpener was on fire[/B].
I have no idea what Lukas did, how he fucked something this simple up, and I'm not too sure if I want to know.
[QUOTE=Kahgarak;37704802]I recall another.
I was in like 7th or 8th grade, and I had a classmate with autism, let's call him Lukas. More severe autism. Lukas was generally a nice guy, but he could do very, very stupid things.
In class, we had these electric pencil sharpeners. Nothing too special. So one day, we're in class, about halfway through the year, but Lukas had never used such a sharpener. So I look up, see Lukas walking up to the sharpener, turn back to my work. Look back a few seconds later, [B]the sharpener was on fire[/B].
I have no idea what Lukas did, how he fucked something this simple up, and I'm not too sure if I want to know.[/QUOTE]
how the fuck?!
Having Cerebal Palsy in my earlier years meant I was confined to a wheelchair. Keep in mind that doctors stepped in before it got severe enough to affect my mental state.
Yes, I had to take the shortbus home.
You know where this is going.
I only went one day on that bus, and it was awful. There were three of them, a girl whos head was shaped like a peanut and always was trying to open the emergancy exit for some odd fucking reason. Ill call her Calamity Carl. Then there was this tard who reeked of shit 24/7 and would actively tell people when he is going to fart. This guy I'm calling Shitface Steve. and another one who was awesome. He didnt take any shit from anybody. Shitface Steve espically liked to pick on him. Im calling this guy Tyrone the Destroyer. Anyway. Im loaded onto the bus in my wheelchair for the first time. And immmeidatly Shitface Steve starts calling me out on my skinny legs, being a cruel heartless bastard and making fun of my disabled legs (I later went through extensive surgery and am now walking normally, with a slight limp) So as Steve is making fun of my legs, the bus starts moving. At this point Carl tries to open the emergency exit right on the side of her, needless to say her aide intervened, Carl making an earpiercing call that could only be described as a whale while high on acid howling through five megaphones at once. Steve starts laughing like hell and Tyrone just sets there. Quietly playing some Kirby on his DS. At this point Steve hops on over to Tyrone, his stench filling the air. He starts saying shit like "kribgy? tha fo babbyies" with Tyrone promptly ignoring him. But Shitface steve continues with this and eventually tries to take Tyrones DS. Which he succeeds at. He then begins to [i] wipe the motherfucking DS all over his ass [/i] making it smell like shit. At this point the aide steps in to intervene, Carl being left unattended. Tyrone then decides enough is enough, and picks up Steve by the neck. While fucking [i] Carl [/i] tries to open the emergency exit again, I mean holy fuck, So Tyrone throws Steve towards the exit carl is trying to open. And what do ya know, [B] CARL OPENS THE GODDAMN EXIT [/B] So shitface steve goes flying, the aide grabbing him while the bus winds to a screeching halt. The aide pulls Steve back in, Steve crying like a motherfucker, and guess what? Steve shit his fucking pants. Triumphant, Tyrone quickly hightails it out of the bus, running down the street, never to be seen again.
That was the most terrifying bus ride of my life.
I still do not know what happened to Tyrone the Destroyer, I presume he went on a murderous rampage.
Back in like 7th grade, my friends and I took PE because none of us were really into football. In that class was a bunch of people who were unathletic, nerdy, had terrible grades and couldn't play football, or just didn't care. There were also the mentally challenged students. Whenever the other kids would play volleyball or softball or anything, my friends and I played with the mentally challenged students because we didn't think it was fair to just let them sit on the side doing nothing. One of them especially liked to play badminton. One day, his dad came to the school and saw us playing with him, and was really touched. The next day he came and brought us cookies.
One of my dad's side cousins is severely autistic
I remember being a 4 year old and my other cousin declaring his superiority over me by two years in his developing British accent (he's Cantonese/British mix) and then later after he made fun of me I started crying and watched his ass be beaten by an angry asian mom
Around this time I think my autistic cousin entered the scene; dropped off by another uncle of mine. She ran all over the fucking place doing weird shit with her arms but we didn't pay her much mind because she was still a toddler, and the adults never mentioned it. So partway into the mix of me and my older cousin playing and my yoinger one just kind of... Flapping a piece of swirly shit appears on the ground
I know now at the time that this piece of shit was fake as it was too perfect a swirl and smelled more like play doh than shit. Its consistency was also rubbery. At the time though my cousin convinced me that it was real. Then my aunt shows up and gets angry at him because she thinks that the autistic cousin layed it and now me and my cousin were handling it. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS MADE OF?!?!" My cousin says, "Tissue paper?"
Me and my autistic cousin gazed on as my Older cousin got his ass beat with a wooden stick
I think it was actually during this incident that the wooden stick broke and they had to replace it with a plastic baton
10 years later I meet my autistic cousin again in my grandmother's house in Hong Kong. I realize the severity of it and tried to keep composed while she drooled all over her shirt. It really is quite sad.
I feel like an asshole now after all these years of thinking she actually took a shit in the middle of the living room that I had touched
[QUOTE=DudeGuyKT;37705901]Back in like 7th grade, my friends and I took PE because none of us were really into football. In that class was a bunch of people who were unathletic, nerdy, had terrible grades and couldn't play football, or just didn't care. There were also the mentally challenged students. Whenever the other kids would play volleyball or softball or anything, my friends and I played with the mentally challenged students because we didn't think it was fair to just let them sit on the side doing nothing. One of them especially liked to play badminton. One day, his dad came to the school and saw us playing with him, and was really touched. The next day he came and brought us cookies.[/QUOTE]
Not very funny.
And I don't even mind. That's really touching!
So back in my old school, there was this guy named christopher. Probably the most delusional person i have met. He was a huge furry and talked about how wolves lived in a dimension seperate from ours. He kept on saying his future dream was to become a genetic engineer so he could turn himself into a wolf. He also had no sense of hygiene. He always smelled completly awful and he always wore shorts, displaying his legs, crusty with dried up dead skin. One day I found him watching furry fat porn on the school computer and another day I saw him distrubting some printed out transformation fetish fantasy story.
[QUOTE=IPK;37690881]I was walking by a person who obviausly had down sindrom.
He behaved more mature than all the dumbarses on the street,excluding me.[/QUOTE]
what
I was at the air show and in one of the portal bathrooms was an interesting fellow. not sure what his condition was but he opened the door and flashed the crowd of people. The funny part was he shut the door and continued to open and close it while he stood there butt naked laughing.
The kid with downs syndrome across the street got kicked out of the special olympics for making fun of kids who were more retarded than he was.
Back in primary school we had this guy called Sam who was some form of fruit rapist/ murderer.
I say this because we caught him in the girl's toilets trying to copulate with an orange and a few weeks later we were all having lunch and suddenly we hear a "[B]WWWWWWUUUUUUUURRRRGH[/B] noise. Everybody looked around to find he was crawling across the floor stabbing his banana with a fork and throwing it across the room shouting "glub glub glub".... After sitting there rubbing his hand in banana guts he walked out the lunch hall and sat in the doorway crying.
I have high functioning Asperger's (tldr; I can think like a normal fucking person even though I have a strange condition), so I was able to go into normal classes. I had a couple of different classes throughout grade and middle school that helped me with my social skills. During said classes, I met the weirdest chavs I've ever seen before.
First off was Liam, he was a pretty nice lad, a bit of a weeaboo, but he could keep it in balance, he wound up going to some arts high school in Orkney or London.
Second was some jack ass named Travis, a bloody English Bolshevik, he claimed superiority over everyone at the school because he was English, and we were Scottish. He was also a commie, and was posh to fucking everyone. Last I saw him was the last time I went to that class sometime in Sixth Grade, he called the teacher a cunt, and got hauled off to the principal's. It was fucking hilarious.
Third wasn't even in the class, some Tardicus, supposedly from one of the Commonwealths, who amazes me to this day. He literally believed he was an alien of superior in power to all people around him. About a month or two into Eighth Grade, a teacher caught him wanking to some porno he drew himself.
I feel kind of awful for laughing at this.
Anyway, I have nothing to share, really. I mean, sometimes at my school you'll hear the distant moaning of one of the special ed kids echoing through the halls, and a couple of people will snicker, but I haven't really had much experience with them.
At school there are these two autistic kids (One of them doesn't go to the school anymore obviously), I'm going to give them fake names, Chris and Ted.
Chris is moderately autistic, he can talk but he stutters a lot, he usually plays his Nintendo DS during "free time". Ted, on the other hand, is severely autistic. He cannot talk and must be strapped down whenever he sits on a chair because he might "fall off".
So one day, shit hit the fan. Ted was having one of his episodes like usual, but this time he went to extreme-mode. He bit Chris's finger. Chris was yelling "HE BIT MY FINGER!" "HE BIT MY FINGER AWWOUUUCHH!!!!!!"
The teachers actually called the paramedics. There was only a little blood, so that confused me.
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;37719626]There was only a little blood, so that confused me.[/QUOTE]
Humans are worse than dogs when it comes to oral hygiene.
I was in Grade 7, a downy had gone to the bathroom for too long and the teacher sent me and a friend to retrieve him. When we got there we saw the kid with his pants around his ankles, shitting in the urinal and scooping out, then stuffing it into the hand-dryer-blower-thing. We asked him to wash his hands and pull his pants up but he refused our offer and went back to the urinal and took another shit in it. We just left and the teacher aide handled him. When the teacher asked us what happened, we had to physically hold our faces in place so we wouldn't burst out laughing.
[QUOTE=Pitchfork;37720900]Humans are worse than dogs when it comes to oral hygiene.[/QUOTE]
Better at hygiene, but just have worse types of bacteria in our mouths.
A human commonly washes his/her teeth twice a day, whereas a dog might lick his/her genitals twice a day.
And people in 2nd world countries tend to have better mouth bacteria than people in 1st world countries.
Lemme give ya a hint to why so: Sugar.
Every time somebody says Lady Gaga can't sing. Hahaha.
[QUOTE=TonyP;37722707]Every time somebody says Lady Gaga can't sing. Hahaha.[/QUOTE]
Alright.
I was walking around downtown last night and I saw two downs syndrome elvis impersonators butchering the lyrics to Johnny B. Goode. They were actually pretty cool.
So I go to a private school for kids mostly with anger issues, but some with downs and stuff like that.
So there's this kid "in my grade" named Drake. I actually do not know what he has, but he doesn't do random crap like the above, instead he just does really, really stupid crap. I'm gonna recall some of the funniest stuff he's done, in descending order.
1. I didn't personally witness this one, but my friend Brandon who is no longer here told me this happened, and he's an honest dude.
So here are the people on the bus:
1. Brandon, and some other guy named Evan.
2. Drake.
3. A bunch of random high schoolers from some random high school.
So basically, Drake is listening to his iPod and some high schooler looks at him and says, "Hey, can I borrow your iPod?"
So Drake uses his fantastic wits and sharp training in situations such as this and gives him the fucking iPod.
So of course the guy doesn't give it back, and waltz right through the bus door to his house when they arrive. Drake doesn't do a motherfucking thing.
The next day, Brandon tells us what happened. From that point on we can't even look at Drake without laughing, and then one of us (I forgot who, it was a couple years ago) decides to ask him what happened.
So he says that he gave the person his iPod and that he's expecting him to give it back.
Further investigation showed that he made no such promise, and of course he never did get his iPod back. Of course since he's a spoiled little fuck, his parents give him ANOTHER iPod very very soon after.
[sp]This iPod went on to fall into a toilet while he was going to the bathroom. How the fuck he managed to get that to happen is beyond me.[/sp]
2. A teacher at school named Lisa had a friend's father or something die in a plane crash. Obviously she's very sad, especially for her friend, so our school more or less forces us to make cards for her.
So while everyone's finished on their cards and Drake's still working on it, he eventually shows us the card.
What did he decide to draw on the cover?
A motherfucking plane crash.
How much of an incredible lack of empathy could be present in one human being's mind to make him think that comforting a human being for a loss of another would involve reminding her of how it fucking happened?
And inside, in true tard handwriting, he wrote:
"sO[I]r[/I]rY [B]L[/B]isA F[I]o[/I][U]R[/U] th[I]e[/I] [B]d[/B]e[I]A[/I]tH" (or something like that)
One of the teachers took the card and said she was going to "deliver it" to Lisa. She didn't take any of our cards.
3. One day, Drake decided to go to the bathroom without locking the door. You already know where this is going.
A student named Evan walks in, and gets a load of the full drop-down treatment right in his face.
That's about it, but still. (also he never, ever washes his hands after going unless he's reminded.)
-
On other commonly occurring instances, he does the following things:
1. Slaps people when he gets the slightest bit angry, and then expects everyone to think he's cool for it and receives an incredible barrage of insults.
2. Constantly does this thing where he stretches his arm, contorts his face so that it has a million wrinkles and makes this sickening sound that sounds like a sheep being choked to death. (He seems to have somewhat gotten over this.)
3. Gets praised by his teachers for "doing math" (a.k.a. letting the teachers do the math for him and incorrectly predicting what the answer will be, and when the teacher corrects him, he says the correct answer and the teachers praise him for being so smart).
4. Yells "MISS!" every single motherfucking time someone throws a basketball. Additionally he says, "Give me my change!" every time he makes [sp]or misses, doesn't fucking matter[/sp] a basket. One game he must have done this at [I]least[/I] one hundred times.
5. Gets in arguments that he always ends by saying "You're dumb."
6. Says soda is bad for you when he drinks soda. Also, [I]while[/I] he drinks soda.
7. Says "shut up" is a bad word, and flips people off.
8. Wears really small, skinny shorts that show his ass-line very, VERY clearly.
-
We have this other guy named Liam. He's a tard, more like the random kind of tard, but not quite. He's actually very, very likable. He'll randomly say things he's heard, but it's funny and we like it. He seems rather content with life. Sometimes saying certain things will trigger a reaction.
WORDS: What did Christopher Columbus do in 1492?
REACTION: "He discovered America!"
WORDS: Hey, Liam, do your Elvis impression!
REACTION: Stands up and dances, and says, "Elvis shook his pelvis."
WORDS: Hey, Liam, do your Ghandi impression!
REACTION: "Come with me if you want to see the world!"
This happened in middle school I think, not sure what the US equivalent would be since I'm a European... Anyway, my group in home economics class really got the shitty end of the stick, since we were the only ones who had special ed kids study with us for some weird reason.
Now, there was this one autist kid in our group, even had some beard and all so it seemed kinda weird for him to be there since he looked much older than anyone else. He was pretty quiet and chill for the most part though, did his work and all, so he wasn't as bad as the others we had to deal with.
One time though, when we were making soup, all that weirdness was just too much for him to hold in I guess, and he threw something into the pot when it was nearly done. Most of us heard the splash, but no one saw exactly what he tossed in there, and we sure as hell couldn't get him to tell us. He pretty much acted all "Who, me?" afterwards, even though he was clearly the culprit, since he was the only one even near the kettle at that time. Needless to say, nobody wanted to eat that soup...
We have a couple of weird kids at my school. 1 of which, loves space ships with a passion. He constantly talks as if he is on one and he hardly talks of anything else. Just today as I walked by him I heard him say "What aliens are attacking you!?! We will help!" and he went speeding off at some girl. I can only assume he tackled her or followed her around for a bit.
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