• Shit You'd Like To Confess On An Online Forum V2: We're all sinners!
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I've been telling my family that I've been doing well in school and showed my fb friends and family my first song I'm willing to "release". Everything seems fine. In reality I'm doing pretty poorly this quarter in all but one class, which means pretty much exactly a repeat of the last three quarters. I don't even know if I like what subject I want to go for, anymore. But I know I don't have the work ethic or ability in me to work hard enough to make a career in music. I don't even know what I want to do, which since I've known what I've liked and wanted to do in college since I was in like the 5th grade is confusing, terrifying, and more than a little depressing. I don't have the energy to fight, which I need to do well, nor do I have the energy to figure out what else I can do or produce music. edit: Also, the song I released was one I loved at first but now I see how shallow it is and how little effort I really put into it. It doesn't even really have any artistic merit, I'm just meh about it. And the name I gave it is fucking retarded. Also I just used the melody and chords from 3LAU's how you love me, I changed them a bit to fit the pacing of my song and did all the sound design but still its fucking pathetic and I feel like a phony
Going commando is making me realize how visible my underwear is
luke walker
I [QUOTE=paindoc;49065662]I've been telling my family that I've been doing well in school and showed my fb friends and family my first song I'm willing to "release". Everything seems fine. In reality I'm doing pretty poorly this quarter in all but one class, which means pretty much exactly a repeat of the last three quarters. I don't even know if I like what subject I want to go for, anymore. But I know I don't have the work ethic or ability in me to work hard enough to make a career in music. I don't even know what I want to do, which since I've known what I've liked and wanted to do in college since I was in like the 5th grade is confusing, terrifying, and more than a little depressing. I don't have the energy to fight, which I need to do well, nor do I have the energy to figure out what else I can do or produce music. edit: Also, the song I released was one I loved at first but now I see how shallow it is and how little effort I really put into it. It doesn't even really have any artistic merit, I'm just meh about it. And the name I gave it is fucking retarded. Also I just used the melody and chords from 3LAU's how you love me, I changed them a bit to fit the pacing of my song and did all the sound design but still its fucking pathetic and I feel like a phony[/QUOTE] I know it's incredibly cliché but you just gotta accept whatever result you got and try to do better next time. I don't know if you're like me, but I have always strived for absolute perfection in things I create (dumb picture edits, webbums, ms paint comics) and gotten really disappointed when I don't get them to match the idea I had in my brain. It's dumb, pointless and actually counterproductive but it's a mindset really difficult to break out of. You finished a song. It may not be as amazing as you imagined it to be when you started but it's a learning experience and you'll get better over the next few works you make. It's probably a lot better than the average my_first_dubstep_remix.wav you'll find on youtube.
[QUOTE=paindoc;49065662]edit: Also, the song I released was one I loved at first but now I see how shallow it is and how little effort I really put into it. It doesn't even really have any artistic merit, I'm just meh about it. And the name I gave it is fucking retarded. Also I just used the melody and chords from 3LAU's how you love me, I changed them a bit to fit the pacing of my song and did all the sound design but still its fucking pathetic and I feel like a phony[/QUOTE] From releasing it you've learned, sometimes you have to get out there, even with "bad" stuff, or you'll never grow and learn how to make something better.
I go commando every day and have done for about five years, started because I hated how underwear tended to smush my nuts into the rest of me. Never looked back. Flannel lined jeans are a must for winter though.
As it stands now, I don't feel like I can live up to the reputation I've created for myself. Everyone around me expects so much and I think I can be a success. Many think that I am some Computer God while really I've just created some basic application that does math for your input. In short. I don't think I'll ever be a good programmer because I may know how to code but I don't know how to use it. Edit: I apologize for this one being all over the place. I'm a bit scattered right now.
I mentioned the other day I couldn't find a drink to bring to my friends house, but I managed to get one. Asked a friend of mine if he knew where I could find some last minute, and he gave me a $25 bottle of vodka for $10. Cool dude. Tomorrow will be fun.
I am scared to ask but what is commando?
[QUOTE=da space core;49066719]I am scared to ask but what is commando?[/QUOTE] When you don't wear any underwear.
I have lots of female friends and I'm in love with them all simultaneously I'm a creepy bastard
I think that 90% of the people that ride the public transport around here are all insane. You get people of all crazy types coming on and off of the bus system. Drunks in the middle of the day, people with a mental handicap, disgusting people that's stench is enough to make you gag. Fuck me, just the other day while waiting to get on the bus that just arrived at my stop I saw this one guy doing some crazy shit inside like yelling at people, taking a dude's hat off and throwing all the way down the long ass bus, banging on the doors before they open. That isn't even the worst part, the mother fucker walks out of the bus and just stares at me with this soulless look of pure hatred as if he wanted to fucking deck me on the spot for no reason. He then smiles and holds his arms open and walks toward me attempting to give me a hug. I wasn't having none of that shit and shoved him away telling him to fuck off. He then laughed pretty hard and left. That's just one of the many fuckers I've had an shit encounter with. I fucking hate using the bus. EDIT: maybe this would have been better to post in the "Shit that gets you mad thread" now that I look at it.
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;49067263]I have lots of female friends and I'm in love with them all simultaneously I'm a creepy bastard[/QUOTE] on the topic, ive actually been starting to get more female friends lately in my senior yr of highschool, which is weird compared to all of the years before. I'm kind of jaded when it comes to being in a relationship unless they recipocate, otherwise, the process of making female friends is girls want to talk to me, i be nice back, and we become friends etc etc
I've always found it easier to make female friends than male friends. The issue of romantic attraction has actually come up more between my gay friends towards me (I'm technically straight but I'm always "read" as gay) than my female friends, but usually when it does come up I just tell them casually and nicely that I'm just looking for a strictly plutonic relationship and we just shrug off the awkward incident.
[QUOTE=paindoc;49065662]I've been telling my family that I've been doing well in school and showed my fb friends and family my first song I'm willing to "release". Everything seems fine. In reality I'm doing pretty poorly this quarter in all but one class, which means pretty much exactly a repeat of the last three quarters. I don't even know if I like what subject I want to go for, anymore. But I know I don't have the work ethic or ability in me to work hard enough to make a career in music. I don't even know what I want to do, which since I've known what I've liked and wanted to do in college since I was in like the 5th grade is confusing, terrifying, and more than a little depressing. I don't have the energy to fight, which I need to do well, nor do I have the energy to figure out what else I can do or produce music. edit: Also, the song I released was one I loved at first but now I see how shallow it is and how little effort I really put into it. It doesn't even really have any artistic merit, I'm just meh about it. And the name I gave it is fucking retarded. Also I just used the melody and chords from 3LAU's how you love me, I changed them a bit to fit the pacing of my song and did all the sound design but still its fucking pathetic and I feel like a phony[/QUOTE] You don't need any artistic merits man, just make whatever makes you happy. I keep doing some random shit everytime and i never finish any of my songs because i always get stuck but hey what i do makes me happy and makes me improve every time. Whatever sounds good in you're mind is good for you. I once used chords from Jason Mraz's I'm yours and it turned out to be fun and cool sounding. I can upload it on soundcloud if youre interested. Just don't think negatively on what you create and be positive man.
I think my parents think i'm gay :V I was talking to someone on steam, left my phone in the living room. Guy had a less then suitable name, and they nicked my phone and started reading through all my shit. One way to remind me to get a password.
[QUOTE=windows098;49069037]I think my parents think i'm gay :V I was talking to someone on steam, left my phone in the living room. Guy had a less then suitable name, and they nicked my phone and started reading through all my shit. One way to remind me to get a password.[/QUOTE] Back when I was young and stupid I did an ERP with someone, got up to take a piss, and came back to find my mom sitting in my chair reading through it. She just got up and walked away after telling me to be careful on the internet. I also know for a fact that my dad would try to get into my computer regularly (he checked internet cache and stuff on the family computer when I was really young and really stupid, having just found out about porn) so encryption was a must. Rather ironically, now he's obsessively paranoid about the government monitoring his computer and believes people actually watch and follow him in person...
[QUOTE=Snowmew;49069185]Back when I was young and stupid I did an ERP with someone, got up to take a piss, and came back to find my mom sitting in my chair reading through it. She just got up and walked away after telling me to be careful on the internet. I also know for a fact that my dad would try to get into my computer regularly (he checked internet cache and stuff on the family computer when I was really young and really stupid, having just found out about porn) so encryption was a must. Rather ironically, now he's obsessively paranoid about the government monitoring his computer and believes people actually watch and follow him in person...[/QUOTE] Makes me feel spoiled about living in a house where my parents have a level of respect for privacy and don't read my texts, chats, etc.
[QUOTE=Human Brutality;49069240]Makes me feel spoiled about living in a house where my parents have a level of respect for privacy and don't read my texts, chats, etc.[/QUOTE] My parents respected my privacy, but they always wanted the door to my room open So now I'm the weird one in the family for locking my room at night
I think the most annoying thing IMO is my parents wont let me put my computer in my room, and make me have it in the living room. My headphones are damaged, so I Have to use my speakers. This isn't a problem, but when my dads watching something on TV and i'm doing something else, I have to turn off the sound or all i'll hear is my dad yelling "TURN THAT SHIT DOWN"
Oh and my computer has always faced the door
[QUOTE=FiveEyes;49067357]I think that 90% of the people that ride the public transport around here are all insane. You get people of all crazy types coming on and off of the bus system. Drunks in the middle of the day, people with a mental handicap, disgusting people that's stench is enough to make you gag. Fuck me, just the other day while waiting to get on the bus that just arrived at my stop I saw this one guy doing some crazy shit inside like yelling at people, taking a dude's hat off and throwing all the way down the long ass bus, banging on the doors before they open. That isn't even the worst part, the mother fucker walks out of the bus and just stares at me with this soulless look of pure hatred as if he wanted to fucking deck me on the spot for no reason. He then smiles and holds his arms open and walks toward me attempting to give me a hug. I wasn't having none of that shit and shoved him away telling him to fuck off. He then laughed pretty hard and left. That's just one of the many fuckers I've had an shit encounter with. I fucking hate using the bus. EDIT: maybe this would have been better to post in the "Shit that gets you mad thread" now that I look at it.[/QUOTE] I just walk.
[QUOTE=windows098;49069463]I think the most annoying thing IMO is my parents wont let me put my computer in my room, and make me have it in the living room. My headphones are damaged, so I Have to use my speakers. This isn't a problem, but when my dads watching something on TV and i'm doing something else, I have to turn off the sound or all i'll hear is my dad yelling "TURN THAT SHIT DOWN"[/QUOTE] uh so why won't they let you use your pc in your own room? it is YOUR pc, right? i love my family but dang moving out was so great. actually living with my brother now since we go to the same uni.
[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;49069317]My parents respected my privacy, but they always wanted the door to my room open So now I'm the weird one in the family for locking my room at night[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=KillerJaguar;49069466]Oh and my computer has always faced the door[/QUOTE] Wow, luxurious. I wasn't allowed to have a door at all.
[QUOTE=Snowmew;49070854]Wow, luxurious. I wasn't allowed to have a door at all.[/QUOTE] I have the smaller house on our lot for myself.
Finally worked up the courage to go see a psychologist. First time I actually feel like it's time to go deal with what's been haunting me for a couple of years now. I've never felt this ready. :downs: Wish me good luck!
-snip who the fuck cares-
My parents are concerned I'm gay (I'm not*) because I never bring any girls over; But that was because my room didn't have a door (Or a doorway), so I'd rather not have someone walk in on me taking a girl from behind. Now that I do have a door, I'd rather not have stupid loud sex above the livingroom where everyone can hear, it's loose-loose for me. *Technically I'm a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale, but being bisexual is an even worse sin than being gay, in my family.
Up until I was 17, I'm pretty fucking sure my mum thought I was gay. She never really saw me with a girl, or talking to one, so she suddenly went up to me as I was playing a game saying "I just want you to know, it's okay if you're not into girls." I'm like, okay, er? Then it clicked and I just internally wot'd. She knows I have a girlfriend now, so I hope I don't get that talk again.
i can't stop smiling for some reason and I hate it
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