• My college roomate is an asshole
    74 replies, posted
Make a lot of things at once against him. Offer him a coffee filled with sleeping pills so he won't bother you, and during night, fuck up his hard drive using magnets, unplug several stuff in his computer, jizz in his shampoo, remove the batteries from his alarm clock if he has one, put him completely under his bed blanket and staple it down to the bed so he'll stay trapped under it, piss in his backpack.
You realize he'll just get you back 10 times worse.
Put crystal meth in his shampoo
Just watch what he likes to eat, then think of all different ways you can mix horrible things into them. Just make sure not to eat/drink the stuff.
Throughout this guide, make sure you never give away that this is your doing 1.Get into his computer and give it a password that he could easily figure out. 2.Now for when he figures this out, remove all of his files and replace it with a single text file telling him that if he wants his files back to meet you at the burger kind down the road. 3.Now hire someone to dress up as a private detective and give him a usb stick. This USB [i]doesn't[/i] contain his documents, but instead a bunch of text files and if deciphered correctly, should spell out "We are watching you". 4. Now leave a picture beside his laptop which is you in a hostage situation (Tied up, mouth gagged etc.) With a note telling him not to phone the police and to wait for further instructions. 5. Wait two days and send him a letter which tells him that if he wants to see you alive he must find a person (Preferably and ex-girlfriend of yours) and murder them using only the tools provided. (Which are a hammer and some rope) 6. While he is killing the victim, go into the dorm you two are sharing and remove all items and hide them somewhere, leaving the a single note which reads "Thanks for your help, but we are removing you from the equation" 7. By now he is shitting his pants, so hire a group of people to dress up in suits, obtain guns and break into his room and say "Thanks for your help, Mr. (Insert name here)" and then proceed to shoot him in the leg, leaving him for dead. 8. Bring him to hospital, unconscious 9. When he wakes up in hospital, you will be beside him. You will tell him that you escaped the clutches of this shadowy group. You then lean in to tell him a secret. 10. Whisper into his ear "Fuck you bitch" and proceed to punch him in the dick.
[QUOTE=Slayerdude111;27185300]Well, I set a password on my computer. I did nothing to him yet, I don't know what to do.[/QUOTE] Hair removal cream in his shampoo or hair products.
Sew week old prawns into his pillowcase :v:.
You should kill him.
You should kill him.
hair removal in shampoo
[QUOTE=Patriarch;27192503]Throughout this guide, make sure you never give away that this is your doing 1.Get into his computer and give it a password that he could easily figure out. 2.Now for when he figures this out, remove all of his files and replace it with a single text file telling him that if he wants his files back to meet you at the burger kind down the road. 3.Now hire someone to dress up as a private detective and give him a usb stick. This USB [i]doesn't[/i] contain his documents, but instead a bunch of text files and if deciphered correctly, should spell out "We are watching you". 4. Now leave a picture beside his laptop which is you in a hostage situation (Tied up, mouth gagged etc.) With a note telling him not to phone the police and to wait for further instructions. 5. Wait two days and send him a letter which tells him that if he wants to see you alive he must find a person (Preferably and ex-girlfriend of yours) and murder them using only the tools provided. (Which are a hammer and some rope) 6. While he is killing the victim, go into the dorm you two are sharing and remove all items and hide them somewhere, leaving the a single note which reads "Thanks for your help, but we are removing you from the equation" 7. By now he is shitting his pants, so hire a group of people to dress up in suits, obtain guns and break into his room and say "Thanks for your help, Mr. (Insert name here)" and then proceed to shoot him in the leg, leaving him for dead. 8. Bring him to hospital, unconscious 9. When he wakes up in hospital, you will be beside him. You will tell him that you escaped the clutches of this shadowy group. You then lean in to tell him a secret. 10. Whisper into his ear "Fuck you bitch" and proceed to punch him in the dick.[/QUOTE] :golfclap:
Go to the housing office and request a new roommate.
Sign him up on a gay dating website
[QUOTE=Zovox;27193749]Sign him up on a gay dating website[/QUOTE] Or he could just give me his roommates number, same thing.
Remove any porn you can find on his computer. Then block access to any porn site you can think of.
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