When using a weed trimmer don't overprime the priming bulb otherwise you'll flood the engine.
Get a productive hobby. If you enjoy computers, work with photoshop, if you enjoy guns, be a gunsmith. Ect
[editline]27th May 2013[/editline]
Post count = size of your dick
Post on Facepunch to make lots of friends in RL
If it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick
If a stranger gives you drugs accept it and say thank you, drugs are very expensive.
Ants hate cucumber, and will avoid it at all costs.
If stung by a jellyfish, don't urinate on it like a dumbass. Pour vinegar on the sting instead to remove the pain.
Chewing cloves will cure toothache. If you can find clove oil then even better, but chances are you have cloves in your kitchen.
[QUOTE=ThePinkPanzer;40808023]Don't bitch about your problems, no one cares.[/QUOTE]
3edgy5me
never log out.
because you can't.
Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. It also gives him more time to take care of morning wood before going to work or school,
[QUOTE=Ausare;40809498]Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. It also gives him more time to take care of morning wood before going to work or school,[/QUOTE]
And mornings are awesome.
[QUOTE=lenx;40809461]never log out.
because you can't.[/QUOTE]
[url]http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/84645[/url]
Brush your tongue every day, it'll reduce bad breath and your tongue won't have a nasty white color.
Don't quit your day job.
If you ever eat red velvet cake, keep that factoid stored somewhere in your memory for the next day or two. Some manufacturers stuff those things with more red dye than actual food.
It's not really an issue in the long run, but if you don't keep it in mind you might freak out when your next bowel movement is essentially that elevator scene from [i]The Shining[/i].
Drink more water.
When you're hungry, when you're bored, when you're tired, when you're awake, whenever.
try to have a consistent sleep schedule.
and if you wanna pull an all nighter, plan ahead. or at least know when you're gonna do it. preferably a few days in advance.
Series of IRL tips and things you may be able to avoid:
You have a 1.5% chance of suiciding in your life time, if you live a well life. The chance drastically increases from having a poor childhood. A Gamma Ray Burst, if aimed at earth, would destroy the planet and nothing can stop it. If the universe was a false vacuum, the universe would eventually obliterate itself. If a massive volcano goes off and doesn't stop erupting, it could blanket the sky for ages and cause an ice age-- the only life to survive would be small rodents, and 99% of plant life would be destroyed. If a nuclear bomb was launched at the country of your residence, you have a chance of being effected by it even if it's shot out of the sky. If the Earth stopped spinning, days would be 6 months long. The magnetic shielding would also fade, causing all life to gradually perish in a radiation induced death. The commonly accepted theory of what will happen in later periods of time is heat death, where everything will have too little energy to be considered working, including life. Andromeda and the Milky Way will eventually merge, which during that period will likely cause the solar system and the planets to be flung out into deep space. If an alien lifeform were to come to earth, we would most likely be doomed. Why would they use their resources to come here and make friends? If oil were to be depleted completely, mass starvation would ensue. Due to rising of antibiotic resistance, there is a good chance that a bacterial infection could become a very strong killer and infector, possibly killing off life. If global warming is allowed to continue, a hypercane forming is possible(a hurricane that is very massive and very powerful), wiping all life in its path off the map. For reference, this is Typhoon Tip and Hurricane Tracy(biggest and smallest typhoon recorded): [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4e/Typhoonsizes.jpg[/img]. A hypercane would be more than 4x as powerful.
never trust a jew
Climb mountains.
buy huge bags of pasta and rice to have in a wardrobe when times get bad
cook cans directly on the stove to save on dishes
always soak your dishes
oatmeal is very cheap
kill banana flies with hairspray and fire
Never take a shower after you use ben gay, it gets places where it shouldn't.
Keep a few grains if rice in your salt shaker. It keeps it dry and keep it from clumping up.
Keep your bedroom sheets fresh, it reduces dirt on your skin so you don't get pimples as much.
Do not take out chewing gum in class
only buy same colored socks
if you have a tub - put soap in it and put on hot water from the tap and open the bathroom door - gonna smell nice
use sodium hydroxide on burnt food in pans, remember to rinse out properly. you can use sugar too
if you have a balcony - put trash bags on it in the winter, no smell
eat your food on flatbread - no dishes
walk with slippers indoor and you don't have to clean since it doesn't stick to your socks
make sandwiches directly on the stove - no need for a toaster
use warm water from the tap and pour on pasta - instant cook, you can also use warm water for tea & coffee
if milk has gone sour just put it back in the store
put soap in a mug with water and blast it in the microwave, then wipe of with a piece of cloth
buy plastic mugs and paper plates and you won't have to dish
use a cheese slicer for sausages & cucumbers
shower with your clothes on and they'll be nice and fresh
If you ragdoll yourself hard enough into the Earth's geometry you can sometimes glitch through and view the world from underneath.
Don't worry about a problem: if you can solve it, solve it, if you can't solve it, nothing you can do.
don't rape people
You must burn the women and rape the houses to achieve greatness
Always keep your mom up to date on how much you appreciate her. Moms don't live forever.
R.I.P Elisa
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
