NEVER let your shit build up. - General

I hold shitting alot. I refuse to go anywhere other than my own house or an excellent friend/relative's house, so I can go for 2-3 days not shitting.

Hilarious, It made my day. :v:

[QUOTE=leadpumper;20455916]More like a [I]turd[/I] on[/QUOTE] xD ur funy

Once I had to go really bad, I pushed as hard as I could to have hot gas EXPLODE out of my ass hole and make my cheeks clap like a fucking concert crowd, anyone in the room would of jumped to the floor in fear of gunshots going off!

I've had one of these shits before It was like the second coming of jesus out of my asshole goddamn that shit hurt.

Longest I've gone with out shitting is a few months; Probably 3. Thankfully though, it usually turned to diarrhea. God that was a horrible year.

Whenever I get a build up of shit I push some of it out and squeeze my anus muscle as hard as I can to chop it off, I then flush and repeat, with 1 flush reserved for toilet paper. This avoids clogging

One time, I shit so much and so fast, that it piled up to the point it was like I was sitting on it. It was all rubbing on my bare ass and whatnot. <3

This is some good pasta

Oh god, I did this a while back, I know how you feel, OP. Worst feeling in the world.

[QUOTE=lilcheeselad;20456656]That shit ain't holy. Also, this thread inspired me to go take a dump.[/QUOTE] You have fun now.

If you've let to flush, you should keep it as evidence to this fine anecdote. Can't stop laughing.

How would you call this writing style? Scatological fantasy/thriller?

[QUOTE=Hammertime;20459884]How would you call this writing style? Scatological fantasy/thriller?[/QUOTE] Scat-fi Horror.

I've had a similar experience. Although it wasn't as bad as what OP had.

Pootastic story.

This could EASILY sound like something else...

your arse gets used to it. mine did. Havent pooped for a week, but holy fucking hell does my fart smell.

You could have just turned the shower on to mask it.

[QUOTE=Livewire123;20455834]Facepunch, I bring you the most serious subject in the world. Since as early as I can remember I've always hated shitting with my parents upstairs, the thought of sitting there releasing the chocolate hostage whilst your parents are in the other room unintentionally listening to every detail which is happening is simply too weird for me to handle. This usually results in some slightly larger than normal shit's when I do get the chance to go to the toilet, and believe me when I say I take every oppertunity I can. Unluckily, for the past few days my parents had been upstairs more often than usual, forcing me to continually tame the [B]monster[/B] which was lurking inside of me. But about 30 minutes ago I had my golden oppertunity, my parents went downstairs to watch TV for a while, so I literally sprinted to the bathroom and my ass hit that rim faster than the speed of sound, little did I know what was about to unfold. It started normal, I just sat there chilling, happy I was about to grace the Earth with this thoughtful presant. I started pushing, all was going well, I could feel it slowly sliding out my ass with great success, but I started to get a little worried after that because the more which came out the wider and more solid it was becoming, by about halfway I had to lean my body position forwards because sitting upright was just too painfull, and I was beginning to panick. Now, I knew what was coming, I've seen this in movies, so I braced myself, drew a large breath of air and counted to 3. Facepunch the only way I can describe the next part of this tragic story is literally the word [I]HELL[/I], neverbefore have I felt something so painful, so longlasting and [B]WRONG[/B]. My asshole felt like it was 5ft apart and I was shitting out a steel triangle, it was so painful that It actually [B]knocked the air out of my lungs and made me scream a little[/B], my entire life flashed before my eyes and I thought that this was the end, this was my fate, to be found naked on the toilet with half a shit hanging out of my ass by my parents. Somehow in this horriffic situation, the overall pain I was feeling made me push so hard that I did manage to release this abomination and I was left there feeling violated, sweating and in agony. After about 5 minutes of contemplating my life and wondering where it all went wrong I stood up and looked down the toilet, it was like staring straight into the face of the devil, I could only see half due to the other side curling down the toilet pipe it was that big. So now I'm here Facepunch, at my desk, with two pieces of tissue blocking my profusely bleeding ass, I have to change the paper every 10 minutes or so because it isn't stopping either. Make sure you go for a shit even if the world is watching, I hope none of you have to experience what I just endured. tl;dr - profusely bleeding asshole due to colossal sized demon shit.[/QUOTE] This definitely brings a new meaning to the whole being worth more than the sum of its parts.

bet it felt great when you were finished though

[QUOTE=Pie108;20458537]Longest I've gone with out shitting is a few months; Probably 3. Thankfully though, it usually turned to diarrhea. God that was a horrible year.[/QUOTE] That's physically impossible.

I hope you didn't have much trouble trying to flush it.

Dear god almighty. I think this beats Jellyfish Cock in terms of funny.

Speaking of big shits. I had 1 yesterday.

I can take a dump in 30 seconds and I make no noise. Maybe don't so much burgers? [editline]04:45PM[/editline] [QUOTE=johanz;20456875]1+? If you take more than one shit a day, something's wrong.[/QUOTE] No, 1-7 per day is normal as well as one every two days.

Shitting is the nastiest thing a creature could do.

I hate those shits that seem like they'll take for ever, but only take 5 minutes. When your done though, you've got to wipe for 40 minutes to get rid of it all though.

[QUOTE=Kabstract;20461500]I can take a dump in 30 seconds and I make no noise. Maybe don't so much burgers? [editline]04:45PM[/editline] No, 1-7 per day is normal as well as one every two days.[/QUOTE] [b]7 per day??[/b] fuck that had to hurt

[QUOTE=Aries;20464755]I hate those shits that seem like they'll take for ever, but only take 5 minutes. When your done though, you've got to wipe for 40 minutes to get rid of it all though.[/QUOTE] You need to spread your cheeks more when going.