Oh shi-
Wait,I shouldn't say that...
Also,stop being embarassed by your parents.They shit too,you know.
go to the doctors.you mighnt die
[QUOTE=Cluckyx;20455952]Oh God I lol'd. We've all been there dude. Well, not to the point of bleeding, but giant shits are one of the most painful experiences a man can be asked to withstand[/QUOTE]
I can think of worse
[QUOTE=Livewire123;20455834] my profusely bleeding ass,.[/QUOTE]
See a fucking doctor before that shit gets infected
This is wrong on so many levels.
Lol somebody basically gave birth out their ass then.
[QUOTE=Henry Townshend;20464993]Your ass is fucking [i]bleeding?[/i] That sounds unhealthy.[/QUOTE]
Unhealthy? You're one to talk! Every time you look at your toilet you just think "Now's not the time for that sort of thing". You're going to die, Henry. Plus, you need to take a fucking shower. I can tell you haven't taken one because 1: You smell like a fucking sewer, and 2: Your bathtub is [I]still[/I] full of blood.
Get your act together.
[B]EDIT:[/B]
Also when are you going to move out of that apartment of yours? Last time I was over there, I looked at your slippers and I passed out. I think you have a carbon monoxide leak.
mmmm... chocolate
I never wanna take a shit again.
I'm glad I made you all laugh, whilst I've been walking like John Wayne for the past day.
The bleeding finally stopped when I woke up this morning, yeah, I had to sleep with tissue jammed in my asshole, felt morally wrong. Oh, and an added detail I forgot to tell you was that when I wiped my ass for the first time there was about double the amount of blood than shit.
My ass still feels like it's on fire, even farting is a risk I don't wanna take, I might spray my boxers with dried blood. :saddowns:
tl;dr, you did goatse on the toilet?
Well, shit happens.
Ouch.
[b] Chocolate raaaaain. [/b]
thread of the month
Damn man, try eating more fiber or something......you're ass is bleeding because you're turds are as hard as concrete and it's scratching the inside of your rectum. As far as the parents thing goes, they've seen you shit yourself numerous times when you were an infant and had to change you're shit filled diapers; how is just dropping a load in their vicinity any worse than that?
Also OP, if you thought that was painful, I urge you not to eat anything containing habanero peppers. My bowels were cramping so hard it felt like I had dysentery or something. Then when the actual shit came out.......well, I'll just let Mr. Cash take it from here: [i]"...and it burns, burns, burns, the Ring of Fire, the Ring of Fire."[/i]
[QUOTE=Livewire123;20470765]I'm glad I made you all laugh, whilst I've been walking like John Wayne for the past day.
The bleeding finally stopped when I woke up this morning, yeah, I had to sleep with tissue jammed in my asshole, felt morally wrong. Oh, and an added detail I forgot to tell you was that when I wiped my ass for the first time there was about double the amount of blood than shit.
My ass still feels like it's on fire, even farting is a risk I don't wanna take, I might spray my boxers with dried blood. :saddowns:[/QUOTE]
Did the bowl make it through?
Or is there more shit than toilet?
[QUOTE=DarkWolf2;20472178]Did the bowl make it through?
Or is there more shit than toilet?[/QUOTE]
There was one small line of blood in the bowl from where the shit had carried it from my ass, but apart from that there wasn't much else, it was after the shit where the blood really started coming.
The demon log was huge, so huge that it curled up the toilet pipe so luckily it didn't block because half of it was already going into the pipe.
Go to the doctor. Eat more fiber. Best advice I can give you.
Aside from that, nice story, I guess.
its funny because i have nearly the same name as OP and do this all the time.
[QUOTE=Kabstract;20461500]No, 1-7 per day is normal as well as one every two days.[/QUOTE]
[B]7 per day[/B]? Yeah sure, if you're suffering from a salmonella infection, but not otherwise.
I lol'ed. "collosal sized demon"
[QUOTE=johanz;20456875]1+? If you take more than one shit a day, something's wrong.[/QUOTE]
I heard somewhere that you should take around 2-3 shits a day.
Is this the 3rd shitageddon?
Pray to god so you dont get a prolapse.
This reminded me of a story my dad told me when he was in his 20s when he took a monster shit. It was so large that a piece of it stuck out of the water so he took a picture of it, got it developed and sent it to his good friend with a note saying " You're a good shit." My dad is awesome.
Next time take a picture and show us, OP.
[QUOTE=Tarzy;20476802]This reminded me of a story my dad told me when he was in his 20s when he took a monster shit. It was so large that a piece of it stuck out of the water so he took a picture of it, got it developed and sent it to his good friend with a note saying " You're a good shit." My dad is awesome.
Next time take a picture and show us, OP.[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry that grabbing a camera to take a picture of my shit wasn't my main priority while my asshole was a million miles apart and bleeding.
[QUOTE=Livewire123;20478259]grabbing a camera to take a picture of my shit wasn't my main priority[/QUOTE]
:crossarms:
Somebody needs to get his priorities in order.
[editline]02:24PM[/editline]
Assholes heal, a picture of the afterbirth lasts forever.
How in the world did you manage to flush that colon dragon down the toilet?
[QUOTE=KSI;20455843]push harder
OP you win the funny thread of the day.[/QUOTE]
Funny thread of the fucking month is more like it.
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