I've had all kinds of poops. And I am one to tell, buildin' up is one hell of a bad idea..
This thread and all it's posts made my day, I'm literally crying.
Anyway, I hate the fact that evolution didn't get rid of ass hair, I miss the days before puberty where the shit would just slide out with no force at all.
I swear sometimes you can feel the shit get sliced as it gets through the ass hair.
[QUOTE=Electrocuter;20494329]This thread and all it's posts made my day, I'm literally crying.
Anyway, I hate the fact that evolution didn't get rid of ass hair, I miss the days before puberty where the shit would just slide out with no force at all.
I swear sometimes you can feel the shit get sliced as it gets through the ass hair.[/QUOTE]
Happens all the fucking time with me!!
I chocked on tea while reading this.*gasp*
Good luck with your ass man, I also got in that situation, killed the devil via pushing hard hard hard.
:P
I've updated the OP.
[URL="http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/7158/owemyasshole.jpg"]
[/URL]
Aw holy shit I can't breath, my chest hurts.
I have a tear in my eye, awesome.
[QUOTE=Electrocuter;20494329]This thread and all it's posts made my day, I'm literally crying.
Anyway, I hate the fact that evolution didn't get rid of ass hair, I miss the days before puberty where the shit would just slide out with no force at all.
I swear sometimes you can feel the shit get sliced as it gets through the ass hair.[/QUOTE]
This thread is making me want to invest into a bidet more and more...
Go to the fucking hospital
Jesus Christ you're going to get a god damn heart attack from all the pushing, and you're going to become constipated.
[QUOTE=Eluveitie;20490287]How the fuck is that even possible?[/QUOTE]
Sadly it was all too real.
I can remember honestly feeling lighter after. It felt like I had lots 10 pounds.
If it still bleeds and hurts after a day you should probably see a doctor.
I've never had this problem, when I have to go, I go, and when I can't, the longest I've held it in was 1 hour?
One time I shit out a baseball! I swear it really was a fucking circle of shit the size of a baseball, but maybe a little bigger. Pretty much to sum it up, it was a great big ball of shit slowly creeping out of my asshole inch by inch. It probably didn't hurt as bad as yours, and it also didn't make my asshole bleed but, It defiantly made me recognize the true feeling of pain. Damn, I wish I would have taken a picture now that I think about it.
[QUOTE=Hoboharry;20490949]I like making my shit stack up.
Then when i be shittin it is amazing like explosive diarrhea.[/QUOTE]
Kinda like cartman in the WoW episode.
and bravo OP, i haven't laughed this hard in a month
[QUOTE=keatinator;20488856]Ew that is so gross but funny. That'll teach you for holding on for too long also if you don't want your parents to hear you take a dump then do what I do and put some toilet paper at the bottom of the toilet so your poo can hit the toilet paper first rather than make a huge plonk splash noise when hitting the water. Just be careful you don't block the toilet up....[/QUOTE]
I don't even like my parents seeing me going into the bathroom, because if I take longer than a few minutes.... They know I'm shitting. I have to be in and out like a ninja.
I love how the YouTube video is now flagged unsuitable for minors
look at the tiny little pussy
wahh wahh i have a little bit of blood on my poo
FUCK YOU
i pushed so hard i popped my hemroid, and was gushing blood for about 3 hours, then it just kept bleeding steadily for 2 days.
Pussy
[QUOTE=Septimas;20500116]then it just kept bleeding steadily for 2 days.[/QUOTE]
If you were bleeding 'steadily' for 2 days, I think you're closer to a pussy than I am.
You must be having menstrual anger.
[QUOTE=Livewire123;20455834]
So now I'm here Facepunch, at my desk, with two pieces of tissue blocking my profusely bleeding ass, I have to change the paper every 10 minutes or so because it isn't stopping either.[/quote]
I'm sorry, but I just had to post this.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M17aG_Po2Y[/media]
Sorry, I still feel empathy for ya.
I do it because i'm too lazy to get up.
I swear to god, the last shit i took was like 2 feet long.
you poor soul, did you catch a picture of the beast?
[QUOTE=Termy58;20502042]you poor soul, did you catch a picture of the beast?[/QUOTE]
Sadly not, but I do have a picture of the tissue paper in the main post now.
omfg I'm sorry but I laughed so hard when I read this
I know whats worse though, has anyone had that cant piss after sex or masterbation feeling? Like you need to piss REALY fucking bad but you cant because the little muscle has been switched off during the act, so no matter how hard you push you cant piss and it feels like your on fire? yeah Id say thats worse. Anyone else experienced this?
I recently bleeded a quite lot when i pooped, but it didnt hurt.
[QUOTE=Proj3ct_ZeRo;20512708]I know whats worse though, has anyone had that cant piss after sex or masterbation feeling? Like you need to piss REALY fucking bad but you cant because the little muscle has been switched off during the act, so no matter how hard you push you cant piss and it feels like your on fire? yeah Id say thats worse. Anyone else experienced this?[/QUOTE]
Burning? Never had that.
But it's annoying when you have morning wood and can't piss
[QUOTE=johanz;20513704]But it's annoying when you have morning wood and can't piss[/QUOTE]
[b]This.[/b]
I've never had it that bad, but when the shit is so big it stops halfway out and you can't push it out or pull it in, it's horrible (you can sit there for 15 minutes trying, but it won't move outwards nor inwards, and it hurts like hell).
"The World record for constipation is 23 days by Chris Orton in Madrid, Spain."
Just wanted to share this with you guys :v:
I took a foot long shit at the last day of 6th grade.
[QUOTE=Eluveitie;20490287]How the fuck is that even possible?[/QUOTE]
Well, if a fist can fit up there...
You Made My Day OP. Seriously.
I Laughed the [i]shit[/i] out of me.
now i need to take a dump D:
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