[QUOTE=Benx303;49730221]That guy's fucking sick. That nigga should seek help.[/QUOTE]
Pretty sure schools have therapists.
His welfare excuse cant help him now.
Still, a fucking 14 year old nigga making a comic about killing a robot by kicking it in its "ovaries" is fucking alarming.
Lt. Farrel, congratulations.
You played yourself.
[QUOTE=AaronM202;49730255]Lt. Farrel, congratulations.
You played yourself.[/QUOTE]
Dont ever play yourself
I keep scrolling and all i see is more and more of this Hotline MLAATR shit.
Man what are you doing.
[editline]whoa-ho-negro[/editline]
God damn im trying to find where it starts, im at March of 2015, how long have you been doing this?
[QUOTE=Lt Farrell;49729657]I have no regrets, and at the amount of popularity this thing has just hit...I might even make the next chapter right now. Dankie Gents![/QUOTE]
Oh boy, you're one of those folks that think people seeing and commenting on your work means it's popular, despite the truth we're here to point and laugh at you and your messed up work, and most of these comments are either making fun of you.
[QUOTE=Pvt. Martin;49730276]Oh boy, you're one of those folks that think people seeing and commenting on your work means it's popular, despite the truth we're here to point and laugh at you and your messed up work, and most of these comments are either making fun of you.[/QUOTE]
Dont forget robot head giving robot head.
[QUOTE=AaronM202;49730267]I keep scrolling and all i see is more and more of this Hotline MLAATR shit.
Man what are you doing.
[editline]whoa-ho-negro[/editline]
God damn im trying to find where it starts, im at March of 2015, how long have you been doing this?[/QUOTE]
i'm fucking dying
[editline] bost [/editline]
[QUOTE=Lt Farrell;49729539][B]thinking this is going to come out as a porno-slasher[/B][/QUOTE]
February 27th of 2015 was the earliest i found.
Woohoohoo boy.
[QUOTE=Lt Farrell;49729509]I hated MLAATR growing up, just realized how to make poses on Gmod. 1+1=2.[/QUOTE]
You played yourself for a whole year, lad.
[editline]Wait[/editline]
Wait.
"Just"
February 27th of 2015 is "Just" in context to a short timeframe.
[b]
Ey.
Nigga.
[i]You fucked up.[/i][/b]
I feel like this would offend FunnyStarRunner if he ever saw this. But seriously, what in the fuck would make you think this was a good thing to make in the first place?
No but seriously you should seek some sort of help or guidance because this is actually legitimately weird. Especially since you've been doing it for, like, a year.
[QUOTE=Fredrika;49730357]i posted the link on his profile[/QUOTE]
O h n o :scream:.
[QUOTE=Lt Farrell;49729908]We never said anything about that now have we?[/QUOTE]
Whose we?
[QUOTE=Lt Farrell;49729539]You are all really thinking this is going to come out as a porno-slasher, trust me this will have a lot of shit to the backstory. And may involve some PPG and Samurai Jack to it if you are lucky.[/QUOTE]
Please for the love of fucking god do not involve Samurai Jack and PPG in the depths of this [I]whatever the honest fuck this is[/I]
Hell, My life as a teenage robot wasn't my favorite series either but who in the right mind would go through the effort to boot up GMOD, download models, pose said models, edit pictures and then make text to come with the story? And to top it all off you post it here on facepunch?
As many people have said before me what the hell is going through your head? This is like deviantart appreciation station leaking out :v:
You know what? Fuck it.
Give me a few minutes to channel my inner Roger Ebert.
Its time for a review.
Speaking of which, DAAS is gonna have a field day with this.
[editline]12th February 2016[/editline]
Also do I even dare read the entire OP?
[editline]12th February 2016[/editline]
Also what's not to say OP isn't just trying for a quick "Lol I was just trolling all along, I'm totally not messed up" type of thing?
[QUOTE=Pvt. Martin;49730474]Speaking of which, DAAS is gonna have a field day with this.
[editline]12th February 2016[/editline]
Also do I even dare read the entire OP?
[editline]12th February 2016[/editline]
Also what's not to say OP isn't just trying for a quick "Lol I was just trolling all along, I'm totally not messed up" type of thing?[/QUOTE]
Scroll up and you'll find out that he technichly claimed that he is doing it for a reaction and nothing else
:suicide:
Fucking what even is this...
oh shit this guys a ww3rp vet AND has 3 names?? better not fuck with him
[editline]13th February 2016[/editline]
also its incredible that he was forced to watch luckystarrunner's robowaifu the show when he was growing up despite it ending when he was 3 years old
[editline]13th February 2016[/editline]
[url]https://www.lemonpunch.net/threads/nathaniel-prescott-farrell.41720/[/url]
oy vey its like a case study of pubescent male thought patterns
First the sonic models, now this. 2016 is shaping up to be an amazing year for threads like this lmao
In Review:
-- Hotline Tremorton: My Death as a Teenage Robot
-- Author/Artist: Lt Farrell
To begin, lets set some ground rules: We'll be covering three main bases:
* Idea.
* Art.
* Writing.
IDEA:
Before going into the product execution itself, lets go over the idea. The premise of the story is of the main character from the old Nickelodeon TV Show "My Life As A Teenage Robot", Jenny Wakemen, a robot with the designation XJ-9, waking up in a locker room described as smelling of the pungent mixture of blood and semen. Sensing pain (strange for a robot, but im sure the show did this), and looking around the room, she spots a man wearing a mask, who begins to repeat the opening lines to the hit 2D twin stick shooter "Hotline Miami". His appearance, a snappy, expensive, tailored black suit, with a purple panther mask, takes obvious inspiration from said game.
What ensues for the rest of the post is akin to an enhanced interrogation, with several odd comments and physical beatings along the way.
First, i have to point out two things: 1) You present men kicking and punching, with simple loafers and their bare knuckles, solid metal. Solid metal, if you were somehow unaware, isnt known for being fun to physically assault, and will often win the fight by simply standing there. And 2) Its a shitty idea. How did a group of gangster-types manage to capture a robot with such advanced weaponry and flight capabilities? How did they manage to knock her unconscious, given her state as an artificial being? Why are they in a gym locker room wearing, uhh... Jabroni outfits?
The idea of mixing a child-orientated cartoon with something gruesome, mature (""), and violent isnt something new, and in the right hands, with the right idea, can be entertaining to multiple degrees. As an over the top satire, it can elicit comedy through its surreal nature. Played straight, it often, and in this case does, end up as cringe inducing and awkward. In any event, its edgy, illogical, dumb, and is obviously coming from a 14 year old. You almost remind me of when i was your age... Well, not when i was your age. When i was your age, i was 14, and i was actually pretty well on my way to being behaved and matured. More like when i was 12. Just with sexualized violence inserted into cartoons meant for 8 year olds. And multiple times more edge.
I give the idea a solid...
Zero.
You get a 0/10 for the idea. Thats cool, right?
ART:
Now that my wall of text related to the idea itself, its time for something simpler: A review of the art. The screenshots. The posing.
Your angles arent ineresting, they're very straight forward with nothing going for them. Theres no sense of motion, your eye rests on the middle focus, or darts back and forth trying to find the focus. Theres this strange bloom going on that also makes it painful to look at for extended periods of time, as well as a blur that makes it muddy and unfocused. Most of the shots are wasted space, with the characters taking up either the entire shot, leading you to kind of stare at it with a thousand-yard stare, or the characters only in a small portion of the area, when theres simply nothing else to look at besides the characters. Continuity is not your strongsuit, as when the body is introduced, it seems to just appear. Your lack of zooming in on the focus of the shot allows me to see Jenny's peripheral vision, showing no body where it would appear later.
The posing isnt the worst ive seen but its apparent that it was quickly done, without much thought or effort put into them, and likely the masks were used to mask your inherent laziness, giving you a justification for not having to actually do faceposing, instead opting for descriptions of emotion based on their eyes and mask, with no actual change happening in the picture. Faceless characters can still express emotion with proper lighting, angle, and posing, but you attempted none of these. They look bland.
The screenshots are bad. I give them a solid...
Three.
You get a 3/10. its euh.
And now:
THE WRITING:
Oh boy here we go. The meat of this... Whatever it is. The writing, the description of whats happening. The strings connecting these scenes of violence and nonsense. Okay lets begin.
Firstly, its nonsensical and edgy. Its very clear you spent all of two seconds maximum when thinking of lines and descriptions, using the edgiest you could think of to elicit a shock response and to please yourself. For example, ' "You know, that plastic smile, those two innocent eyes, that calm collected and high voice. It all comes together in harmony, especially when I mount you and beat you to death. The feeling is borderline orgasmic." He shuddered at the sound of the word. ' The implications being that he's going to kill Jenny after... Raping her? Is mounting simply referring to being on top of her? With the description of 'orgasmic" feelings, it makes me feel like this will be very sexual, in a bad way. I chalk this up to you going through puberty and lacking self control with your masturbation fantasies.
The paragraph after that goes on a small tangent about the show, with mentions of malignant testicular tumors, for some asinine reason. Also dumb.
How does a computer have "brain matter" exactly? Its supposed to be like a robot, yes? So surely some sort of SSD type system, an optical drive, hard drive, something right? If she has some sort of artificial flesh for her brain... Well that wouldnt really make sense with her design, and im sure the show mentioned her robo brain once. In any event, if a "chunk" of it was missing, wouldnt she be dead? Perhaps you were looking for decapitated.
Its hard to make it through the rest without my face imploding, so i'll wrap it up. Your story is poorly written, asinine, the premise is nonsensical, your villains are very "WOW WE'RE SO FUCKIN EVIL WE FUCKIN KILL BABIES" which is awful, the violence serves no purposes but to work our your aggression, both normal and presumably sexual. I mention sexual because based on my previous findings, despite your claims to hating the show, you have some sort of unhealthy attraction to Jenny XJ-9, to the point of fetishistic violence against her. Seek help.
I give the writing a 1/10.
I mean i couldnt really get past the halfway point but you get 1 pity point.
Your total score is 4/30.
Thats 13.333%
You get a hard F.
Dont try again please.
[QUOTE=Lt Farrell;49729588]
My Counselor can only help me in the field of getting a career.[/QUOTE]
School counselors aren't just for education related matters, they can also deal with any and all personal issues that you may have. Please seek help.
[editline]12th February 2016[/editline]
Trust me, they won't judge you at all, no matter what you tell them.
ITT: 14 year old hypochondriac autist with delusions of grandeur masks teenage angst and cognitive dissonance with poorly written snuff fanfiction filled with horror porn tropes
have fun growing up and victimizing yourself
On top of what everyone else has said, the character in question also happens to be mentally 15-16 years of age.
Honestly I find it very disheartening that almost nothing us regulars make in this sub-forum will get this much attention but soon as some wack cunt posts some wack stuff every fuckhead from WAYT and whatever shit chat thread shows up.
Also I hope you guys realize giving him as much attention as you are is really only encouraging him.
:vomit:
Post more please my nigga
Has anyone told Funnystar?
[QUOTE=Slim Charles;49730820]Honestly I find it very disheartening that almost nothing us regulars make in this sub-forum will get this much attention but soon as some wack cunt posts some wack stuff every fuckhead from WAYT and whatever shit chat thread shows up.
Also I hope you guys realize giving him as much attention as you are is really only encouraging him.[/QUOTE]
good. i'm actually somewhat excited to see how much of a trainwreck OP will create
it's like watching a car crash in slow motion. why would I turn my head away?
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