Computer illiterate people who think they know things V5 = I FLICK PSU VOLTAGE SWITCH - Hardware & Software

My parents still use IE.

Mine used it until they "GAWT A VIRUZ!!!11!!!!!11" that turned on the local proxy making it so it would no longer work. So I switched them to chrome and kept it a secret. :3:

[QUOTE=Magman77;22937946]Mine used it until they "GAWT A VIRUZ!!!11!!!!!11" that turned on the local proxy making it so it would no longer work. So I switched them to chrome and kept it a secret. :3:[/QUOTE] How does that work when chrome uses the same proxy settings as IE?

You're gonna love this. So at school in the computer room, whilst doing a online test for a bunch of bullshit. One guy startet blabbering about how his pc(at school) was relly slow. Now this guy is generally a dick toward everyone. The other more pc literate guy said: "yeah, Just go behind and turn the red switch. it makes it go faster" Dick guy: "okay" *goes behind flips the switch..BOOM* black smoke is coming out and he gets taken to the principals office to explain himself. Then the tech guys comes and takes the whole PC throws it in the garbage.. That red switch is for the PSU voltage switch. Overvolting the PSU causes BOOM Also i got called into the principals office for checking the CMD. Reason I was hacking. like many other guys i was the tech guy for friends along time.. In the yearbook of mine i have a saying. goes like this: shall i fix it? :eng101:

My 73 year old grandfather always calls an HDMI cable a "HEMI" cable. But I just go with it, because he already is pretty confused with tech stuff as it is. The amount he does know is pretty impressive, considering he learned a lot of it on his own.

[QUOTE=Demache;22938838]My 73 year old grandfather always calls an HDMI cable a "HEMI" cable. But I just go with it, because he already is pretty confused with tech stuff as it is. The amount he does know is pretty impressive, considering he learned a lot of it on his own.[/QUOTE] That is your grandfather being a bad ass. That isn't computer illiterate that is awesome. They will now be referred to as HEMI cables in my house.

[QUOTE=1/4 Life;22937308]...What.[/QUOTE] The rest of it is wrong, sure, but you pronounce the A like uh.

I call SATA cables SATAN cables because they're always a bitch to unplug from my mobo. [b]SATAN CABLES.[/b]

[QUOTE=GamerKiwi;22793644][url]http://hardforum.com/showthread.php?t=1522180[/url] :doh:[/QUOTE] That is so awesome, but, what is computer illiterate about it, pretty advanced actually, and very clever.

I found out there was a VGA cable in the back of my 50 some inch tv and I hook my computer up to it just because the computer is right next to it. sure enough I turn my tv to "video 7" and I see my desktop. my dad thinks that that is somehow going to break something. I still prefer my regular monitor because of the fact that I'd have to move my desk into the middle of the room to see it and that it makes it look no better

[QUOTE=Carmine3777;22942004]I found out there was a VGA cable in the back of my 50 some inch tv and I hook my computer up to it just because the computer is right next to it. sure enough I turn my tv to "video 7" and I see my desktop. my dad thinks that that is somehow going to break something. I still prefer my regular monitor because of the fact that I'd have to move my desk into the middle of the room to see it and that it makes it look no better[/QUOTE] Only one solution. Rape him and then go "Want me to break something?" multiple times then stomp his balls. Ok not really just explain to him then show him to the accuracy of google.

[QUOTE=wingless;22943694]Only one solution. Rape him and then go "Want me to break something?" multiple times then stomp his balls. Ok not really just explain to him then show him to the accuracy of google.[/QUOTE] "You'll break it" is always the reaction of parents for some reason. For the longest time my parents thought Steam would give you viruses and blamed everything on the games I had installed on the computer. That's about it as far as my family goes. I got lucky in that my teachers know what they are talking about when it comes to computers.

[QUOTE=Carmine3777;22942004]I found out there was a VGA cable in the back of my 50 some inch tv and I hook my computer up to it just because the computer is right next to it. sure enough I turn my tv to "video 7" and I see my desktop. my dad thinks that that is somehow going to break something. I still prefer my regular monitor because of the fact that I'd have to move my desk into the middle of the room to see it and that it makes it look no better[/QUOTE] why are you using VGA at 1920x1080, gonna look like dick

[QUOTE=Mike!;22936829]I lol'd Your just jealous because i haz more ghz than you[/QUOTE] I'm not siding with linux, But you ARE a moron, The PS3 Has alot of the same library as the 360. And alot of games exclusive to it (I'm on neither side of the console war despite me owning a ps1 and ps2) [editline]07:51AM[/editline] [QUOTE=eventual0;22938212]You're gonna love this. So at school in the computer room, whilst doing a online test for a bunch of bullshit. One guy startet blabbering about how his pc(at school) was relly slow. Now this guy is generally a dick toward everyone. The other more pc literate guy said: "yeah, Just go behind and turn the red switch. it makes it go faster" Dick guy: "okay" *goes behind flips the switch..BOOM* black smoke is coming out and he gets taken to the principals office to explain himself. Then the tech guys comes and takes the whole PC throws it in the garbage.. That red switch is for the PSU voltage switch. Overvolting the PSU causes BOOM Also i got called into the principals office for checking the CMD. Reason I was hacking. like many other guys i was the tech guy for friends along time.. In the yearbook of mine i have a saying. goes like this: shall i fix it? :eng101:[/QUOTE] Yeah you stole that from the last thread. I can't find it ATM but it's there. [editline]07:53AM[/editline] [QUOTE=dogmachines;22943751]"You'll break it" is always the reaction of parents for some reason. For the longest time my parents thought Steam would give you viruses and blamed everything on the games I had installed on the computer. That's about it as far as my family goes. I got lucky in that my teachers know what they are talking about when it comes to computers.[/QUOTE] Thankfully my parents accepted the notion that steam was as secure as paypal they used to pay for my games when i was a young'un. I did know a french kid who's mother made him uninstall steam and completely formatted his hardrive after she saw he installed more than two games(lol) [editline]07:56AM[/editline] [QUOTE=DireAvenger;22940314]I call SATA cables SATAN cables because they're always a bitch to unplug from my mobo. [b]SATAN CABLES.[/b][/QUOTE] I actually don't know the name of them but HDD Cables i call Rainbow Cables(and my whole family does now too) Because i saw one that was rainbow colored once :v: Same with the "Kettle Plug"(saw one in a kettle) You plug into the back of the PSU, And those occasional Double Barrel plugs :v:

[QUOTE=Comrade General;22944172]I'm not siding with linux, But you ARE a moron, The PS3 Has alot of the same library as the 360. And alot of games exclusive to it (I'm on neither side of the console war despite me owning a ps1 and ps2) [editline]07:51AM[/editline] Yeah you stole that from the last thread. I can't find it ATM but it's there. Thankfully my parents accepted the notion that steam was as secure as paypal they used to pay for my games when i was a young'un. I did know a french kid who's mother made him uninstall steam and completely formatted his hardrive after she saw he installed more than two games(lol) [editline]07:56AM[/editline] I actually don't know the name of them but HDD Cables i call Rainbow Cables(and my whole family does now too) Because i saw one that was rainbow colored once :v: Same with the "Kettle Plug"(saw one in a kettle) You plug into the back of the PSU, And those occasional Double Barrel plugs :v:[/QUOTE] Why do you people always take that joke so seriously

[quote]In about 1993, Cambridge University had a few rooms of 486s, for use by members of the University. You could get into the rooms at any time of day if you had a key, and the site security would walk around every hour or so at night. One policy, introduced after a few too many noisy games of network Doom, was that playing games wasn't allowed. One evening, however, I saw someone using eXceed (an X-Windows server for Microsoft Windows) to run Motif. Apparently he was doing something on one of the UNIX machines over the network. The security guard came up behind him, and the conversation went something like this: * Security Guard: "Could you stop that -- you're not allowed to play games in here." * Student: "This isn't a game." * Security Guard: "You can't fool me. That's not work." * Student: "Yes, it is. I'm a computer science student -- I've got a deadline later this week." * Security Guard: "That doesn't look like work to me. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." * Student: "What? I'm working. I'm working quietly. Why do I have to leave?" * Security Guard: "You're playing a game, and you're lying to me. Out. Now. Before I turn this machine off." Even the other two people in the room couldn't persuade the security bloke that it wasn't a game. [/quote] [editline]08:06AM[/editline] [QUOTE=stone555;22944481]Why do you people always take that joke so seriously[/QUOTE] [img]http://www.deviantart.com/download/144411112/PS3_HAS_NO_GAME_by_FreshNfly89.png[/img] [editline]08:08AM[/editline] [quote] * Tech Support: "How can I help you?" * Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not." * Tech Support: "What program is it?" * Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'." * Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?" * Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows." [/quote] [editline]08:11AM[/editline] [quote]My father decided that it would be a nice surprise to install Windows 95 on my seven year old computer. He had one of his employees give him step-by-step written instructions but neglected to mention that my computer is so old. When I got home he had Windows 95 installed and was struggling to install the first piece of software. * My Dad: "It says there's insufficient disk space. How much stuff to you have on the hard drive?" * Me: "It was almost full. You shouldn't have been able to get Windows 95 on there." * My Dad: "Well, I just followed these instructions." I looked at the instructions and saw that he had backed up everything and wiped the hard drive. * Me: "If you followed these instruction properly, the only thing on the hard drive should be Windows 95. How much space does that take up?" * My Dad: "It doesn't take up any space. It's an operating system." * Me: "No, it takes up a lot of space, and it shouldn't even be able to fit on this computer." * My Dad: "No, you don't know what you're talking about. The problem is that you have too many files. You have to delete some of them." * Me: "You already deleted all my files. They're on that stack of disks now." * My Dad: "Yes, and those disks are taking up too much space." [/quote] [editline]08:14AM[/editline] I can remember once i went to a friend's house with my PC to do some modding side-by-side. Because i had the L4D1 authoring tools in plain view, His sister ran in and went "Dave* Is hacking! Mom! Dave is hacking our network! He's going to delete all our programs and files!" *Not real name. just a replacement.

[QUOTE=Comrade General;22944498]I can remember once i went to a friend's house with my PC to do some modding side-by-side. Because i had the L4D1 authoring tools in plain view, His sister ran in and went "Dave* Is hacking! Mom! Dave is hacking our network! He's going to delete all our programs and files!" *Not real name. just a replacement.[/QUOTE]This just sounds too fake to be true

[QUOTE=stone555;22944791]This just sounds too fake to be true[/QUOTE] His sister was like, six. And his mum didn't listen to her anyway. But still at the time it was hilarious. [editline]08:30AM[/editline] This one's not from me(obviously) [quote]In what seems more and more like another life, some 15 years ago, I was an assistant in a computer lab belonging to the computer science department of my university. The lab consisted of a bunch of 286 IBM PS/2s with only a 3.5" floppy drive -- they had to boot with an operating system disk and then put in the program disk, and so forth. One day a student was having problems booting up the computer. I went to see what was happening, because she was becoming increasingly vocal about the quality of the hardware and the incompetence of the people (me) who were supposed to maintain it. I found that she was trying to boot off a floppy with no operating system. So I tried to tell her that she needed a DOS diskette to boot the computer. * Her: "Why?" * Me: "Well, because without the operating system the computer just cannot work." * Her: "But I don't need the operating system." * Me: "I assure you, you do." * Her: "No, you don't understand, I've already passed the operating systems exam. I'm preparing the coursework for simulation theory, so I don't need an operating system. I already passed. Really." * Me: "I'm not talking about the exam. I am talking about the operating system for the computer." * Her: "Why on earth should I want to put an operating system on the computer when I have already passed the exam? I need to study simulation theory, not operating systems! The arrogance! Now you want to tell me what I should study? You don't think I passed the exam on my merits alone? Huh?" She stormed out of the lab and filed a formal complaint with the department's secretary. The worst part was that I got reprimanded, because, apparently, the senior management didn't know any better than she did. Yes, she graduated a couple of years later. [/quote]

[QUOTE=Carmine3777;22942004]I found out there was a VGA cable in the back of my 50 some inch tv and I hook my computer up to it just because the computer is right next to it. sure enough I turn my tv to "video 7" and I see my desktop. my dad thinks that that is somehow going to break something. I still prefer my regular monitor because of the fact that I'd have to move my desk into the middle of the room to see it and that it makes it look no better[/QUOTE] I think all parents do this.

[QUOTE=Comrade General;22933539]Are you referring to him assuming he can SLI(Not sure if that's the correct terminology) two different models or using 8400's?[/QUOTE] He thinking he can SLI, and: [editline]09:54AM[/editline] [QUOTE]and i hope they both will burn out fast so ill buy 9800GTX. [/QUOTE]

Oh jeez. The first time I ever used any distro of Linux, I had Debian on my old Toshiba laptop. I decided one day that while I really liked Debian, I'd rather stick with Windows because my Wi-Fi card wasn't supported. So I just deleted the Debian partition, and reinstalled Windows to the whole disk. Except the disk doesn't install the Windows boot manager. So I drool at my desk wondering what to do, until I finally figure out that if I partition my tiny 40GB drive and use GRUB for a boot manager, it will work. Except that I had no idea what I was doing, so after about two months of constant reformatting, I finally got a dual boot to work. I am a genius.

[QUOTE=hTux;22946608]He thinking he can SLI, and: [editline]09:54AM[/editline][/QUOTE] If he wants them to burn out fast surely he could hold a lighter or hot iron up to it long enough and save the time? :V [editline]01:50PM[/editline] [quote]I was having a problem with my Internet connection a week ago. It would go off, but both the modem and router said it was on. I first called the manufacturer of the router, who guided me through some steps, and we came to the conclusion it was the modem. I noticed it happened more often when I started my new game Battlefield 2, so I called EA Games, and they told me to open ports. Then I called my ISP. * Tech Support: "How may I help you today?" * Me: "Hi, I was wondering if you could open some ports on my connection. I need them open for this game I have, and I've opened them on my end, but the game says that you should also open your end as well." * Tech Support: "So you want to stick your game into the modem?" * Me: "No, I want you to open some ports so I can play the game." * Tech Support: "Sir, you cannot stick a game into your modem, you need a computer to stick the game into--" * Me: "Ummm, I don't want to stick the game into my modem, I want you to O-P-E-N P-O-R-T-S!!!" * Tech Support: "There's a cdrom drive on your computer. If you press the button that is next to or says 'cdrom drive,' a thing that looks like a cup holder will come out. Stick your game--" * Me: "!@#$*!@%" Some shuffling sounds on their end. * Supervisor: "Hello sir." * Me: "Would it be possible for you to open some ports on my internet connection so I can play a game. I've already done it on the router I have." * Supervisor: "Sir, you cannot put a game into your modem. It doesn't work." * Me: "!@#$*!@%" So then I called the company's business center, and I was told that opening ports would cost a LOT of money. I called tech support again, and finally got routed to their site in Texas. I told him my problem with the modem and ports and relayed to him the story. After laughing and apologizing, he told me (after I gave him the modem model number) that my modem was out of date. The new modem took five minutes to configure, and it worked fine.[/quote] :bang: [editline]02:27PM[/editline] [quote]A friend and I visited a computer store in a mall. They had aisles of software and cabinets of hardware in the back. I was curious to know how much they charged for RAM, so we headed for the rear of the store. * Salesman: "May I help you, ladies?" * Me: "Sure. We'd like to see how much your RAM is." * Salesman: (looking around uncertainly) "Let's look over here. Is this for a Mac or PC?" * Me: "PC. I have an HP." Suddenly the salesman turns down a software aisle. * Salesman: "That sounds like a war game. It should be along in here if we have it." * Me: "Uhhhhhhhh...we're looking for RAM. You know, computer memory. Not software." * Salesman: "Oh! Memory! That would be over in the children's section." [/quote] :cawg: [editline]02:37PM[/editline] [quote]In our office we had an older DOS application that was still being used daily. We had just upgraded all of our computers, so I thought I would check to see if the company offered a Windows version. When I called the salesman and asked about Windows software, he proudly stated, "We're a Windows 95 beta tester!" Great. This was in late 1996. I asked again about a Windows version. * Him: "Our DOS version works fine under Windows." * Me: "Yes, we've been running it under Windows for months, but we're looking for an updated version written specifically for Windows." * Him: "Oh, well Windows is really just for games. Our application is meant for business. We're a Windows 95 beta tester." * Me: "So you don't have a version written for Windows?" * Him: "Well, we are working on a Windows version. It will be very advanced, since we're a Windows 95 beta tester." [/quote] [editline]02:39PM[/editline] [quote]Back in my "less mature" days, I loved nothing better than going to electrical shops (not specialist PC dealers, but the type of place where you can by toasters, washing machines, vacuum cleaners, etc) and winding up the less experienced salesmen. So I hung out in the shop one Saturday and poked around the PCs until a salesman approached me. * Salesman: "Can I help you, sir?" * Me: "Could you tell me about this PC?" * Salesman: "Well sir, this PC comes with..." (reads the specs off the display card) * Me: "Ok, but what is the clock speed of the CPU?" * Salesman: "Oh, you'll have no worries there. It's 24 hour." * Me: (trying to keep a straight face) "But that's no good to me. I'm really bad with 24 hour times." * Salesman: "That's not a problem. This PC comes pre-loaded with Windows 97, which can convert the PC back to a 12 hour clock if you prefer that." * Me: "Ok, I'll think about it." I had to leave the shop and sit on a bench until my sides stopped hurting. [/quote]

[QUOTE=DarkendSky;22947081]Oh jeez. The first time I ever used any distro of Linux, I had Debian on my old Toshiba laptop. I decided one day that while I really liked Debian, I'd rather stick with Windows because my Wi-Fi card wasn't supported. So I just deleted the Debian partition, and reinstalled Windows to the whole disk. Except the disk doesn't install the Windows boot manager. So I drool at my desk wondering what to do, until I finally figure out that if I partition my tiny 40GB drive and use GRUB for a boot manager, it will work. Except that I had no idea what I was doing, so after about two months of constant reformatting, I finally got a dual boot to work. I am a genius.[/QUOTE] You should have asked in the linux forum, we fix that problem every other day...

[QUOTE=Boris-B;22949270]You should have asked in the linux forum, we fix that problem every other day...[/QUOTE] Can i ask, And this will sound dumb. Are there any benefits from Linux over Windows? Is it easily programmable/etc? What's the buzz about?

[QUOTE=Comrade General;22948181]* Him: "Our DOS version works fine under Windows." * Me: "Yes, we've been running it under Windows for months, but we're looking for an updated version written specifically for Windows." * Him: "Oh, well Windows is really just for games. Our application is meant for business. We're a Windows 95 beta tester." * Me: "So you don't have a version written for Windows?" * Him: "Well, we are working on a Windows version. It will be very advanced, since we're a Windows 95 beta tester."[/QUOTE] "You can beta teast my pikecovered fist up your ass! stop saying that shit every time you breathe and answer my god damn question" What an obnoxious bastard...

[QUOTE=Comrade General;22949348]Can i ask, And this will sound dumb. Are there any benefits from Linux over Windows? Is it easily programmable/etc? What's the buzz about?[/QUOTE] Well its free, and extremely customizable. I don't find coding harder or easier than anywhere else. It's open source and has a huge community to help out with all your problems. One of my favorite parts about most distros is the built in drivers into the kernal

[quote] * Customer: "My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at [a British comedy site]." * Tech Support: "Yes, what is the problem?" * Customer: "The '.uk' at the end -- doesn't that stand for United Kingdom?" * Tech Support: "Yes." * Customer: "Just great -- I knew it! He's in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?" * Tech Support: "It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges." * Customer: "No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn't make any sense that they wouldn't. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to." After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back. * Customer: "Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL." * Tech Support: "Yes?" * Customer: "Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?" * Tech Support: "Trust me -- they don't." * Customer: "Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn't know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service." [/quote] [editline]03:01PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Mike!;22949480]Well its free, and extremely customizable. I don't find coding harder or easier than anywhere else. It's open source and has a huge community to help out with all your problems. One of my favorite parts about most distros is the built in drivers into the kernal[/QUOTE] Huh. If i ever got into programming i'd have to try it sometime

[QUOTE=Boris-B;22949270]You should have asked in the linux forum, we fix that problem every other day...[/QUOTE] Closer to ever day. I currently count six threads that are less than one week old asking for some sort of aid with some issue with Linux installation.

[QUOTE=Comrade General;22949500]post[/QUOTE] Your posts make me lost all faith in humanity.

[QUOTE=Mike!;22949480]Well its free, and extremely customizable. I don't find coding harder or easier than anywhere else. It's open source and has a huge community to help out with all your problems. One of my favorite parts about most distros is the built in drivers into the kernal[/QUOTE] There are a lot of programs that make coding easier than their Windows counterparts, and they are all free. They don't magically impart you with knowledge of how to program, but they just have useful tools that make things much easier. Code::blocks would be my favorite, but there are assloads to choose from. Linux was made primarily by a bunch of nerd programmers, primarily for a bunch of nerd programmers.