Computer illiterate people who think they know things V5 = I FLICK PSU VOLTAGE SWITCH - Hardware & Software

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9Fgai18EfQ[/url] "Can play hard core games like CRYSIS"- (on a P4) "playing* Crysis @ 1280x1024, 4X AA never drops under 20FPS" :doh:

[QUOTE=PunchedInFac;22804456]The bottleneck is the CPU, the RAM on the laptop (Very low clock rate) and the expresscard Bandwidth which is MUCH less than PCI-E.[/QUOTE] Intel Core i5 520M 2.4 GHz 4GB DDR3-1066 Yeah, they're totally too slow hurr I'm well aware that the ExpressCard bandwidth is much slower than PCIE. That's the ONLY bottlenecking component.

[QUOTE=birkett;22804585]Had an "interesting" day today. It took me 10mins to figure out why my CD drive in a new-build had a fucked up tray, making it impossible to insert discs. Id installed the drive upside down.[/QUOTE] Please tell me you fixed it by turning the computer upside down. PLEASE!

[url=http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=957837]5th post in this thread.[/url] Sorry guy above.

I thought he was actually joking at first too...

Okay, so I misunderstood and the driver is not actually a driver. My bad. Filed for future reference. Still, the look on the IT guy's face when I told him Sysprep couldn't do that. He changed the password on my account, too. :/

At my summer school, the teachers have macs. All of them. None of them have windows computers, well the office does, but the TEACHERS do. I ask them why. They say "They are more fast, clean, and never get viruses". Later, I was about to scan my scantron into this "Accelerated Math" thing and I noticed Sophos anti-virus in the top right, that fucking shield. When I scanned it, I got that oh-so-colorful wheel that happens when a program is like "screw this, I'm crashing". Then the mac crashed with the "YOU NEED TO RESTART YOUR COMPUTER BITCH". So much for that.

On the bus I was talking to my friend about the PC I just built, and then this guy behind us asks how much me how much memory it has. Thinking he means RAM, I tell him 4GB. Then the moutbreather says "4GB? Thats tiny! I have 300GB! Your computer sucks!" I'm still in hospital from the facepalm.

Pulled from myself in v4: [quote=Computermaster] I feel like telling this story again, because it still makes me facepalm and laugh. This actually happened to me: Keep in mind that the most intensive thing this dude ever did on his computer was running Quicken or Quickbooks or whatever it is. [quote] Last summer, I did computer work as my summer job. I got all kinds of customers, even a few businesses. One of my best (read: gave me the most work and so the most money) called me in one day to set up his brand-spanking new iMac. (Take note: He bought a brand new PC about 6 months before this occurence.) I could already tell something was up, since this was the first computer related purchase he'd made without my advice (I'd never before said about Macs to him) in the 3 months I'd been doing work for him. Now, of course I said nothing at first, I did my job and he handed me my check. After I had it in my wallet, I asked him about the Mac. He said he'd gone to the Apple store to get an iPod for his daughter. Apparently, one of the workers up there smooth-talked him into buying an iMac. He thought he did good, buying the next to lowest model ($1,500 USD). When I asked him exactly what made him want to buy one, considering he already had a perfectly good computer, the job I'd just done made perfect sense. He called me in that day to configure Boot Camp. He also told me to set it up so that Windows was the default choice. The dude's reasoning? "Well, the guy at the store said Macs never get viruses [I]and[/I] I can install Windows on it. [B]So I figured that by doing that, Windows could never get a virus.[/B]" I actually visibly facepalmed right in front of him (we're good pals so he didn't get offended). I then spent 30 minutes explaining to him how it really worked. After I was done, he said "Oh well, it looks nice so I guess I'll keep it." As far as I know, the computer that the iMac replaced is still sitting in the dude's closet (2 years later) unused. [/quote][/quote]

The computer illiterate guy I was talking to, who thinks he knows everything decided to be my friend again on facebook. He still doesn't know clockspeed means GHz... He immediately opened chat with me: Jackson: Hey, I'm sorry about lying about the computer stuff, I now know more than I did before. Me: That's fine, I just get angry at people who lie. Jackson: Yeah, I know.. I'm getting my AMD 620 in the mail today. Me: AMD 620? The Althon II X4? Jackson: No. it's a prototype gpu for the main processor. Me: Oh really... Jackson: Yeah, it's clocked to 11:00 AM and can make pictures on the screen in 60hz a minute. Me: Oh my fucking god. Jackson: I KNOW! IT'S AMAZING! Me: I KNOW, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACEBOOK. Jackson: What???? I then proceeded to remove him from my friends.

Clocked to 11:00 AM My God, that is gold.

[QUOTE=LinuX;22815019]At my summer school, the teachers have macs. All of them. None of them have windows computers, well the office does, but the TEACHERS do. I ask them why. They say "They are more fast, clean, and never get viruses". Later, I was about to scan my scantron into this "Accelerated Math" thing and I noticed Sophos anti-virus in the top right, that fucking shield. When I scanned it, I got that oh-so-colorful wheel that happens when a program is like "screw this, I'm crashing". Then the mac crashed with the "YOU NEED TO RESTART YOUR COMPUTER BITCH". So much for that.[/QUOTE] Liar, Macs just work. I'm reporting you to Mr. Jobs.

not illiteracy, probably already seen it but: [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yISqCAnROh8[/url] :v: just remembered it today.

[QUOTE=drummerundrcovr;22815593]not illiteracy, probably already seen it but: [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yISqCAnROh8[/url] :v: just remembered it today.[/QUOTE] Holy crap that is awesome! [editline]a[/editline] Half way to a thousand posts!

New Thread Rule: If someone posts in here and is found to be tech illiterate/retarded themselves, rate bad reading! [img]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/rating/book_error.png[/img]

[QUOTE=wingless;22792489]Heh. It's funny at my school we have a shitty endian firewall with a total network capability of 10/100 what we have is all the routers in the school plug into one main router (all 10/100/1000) which then hooks up to the endian firewall, So picture this. We get a whole class of 30 on one room all on the internet to look up a video. The firewall runs on a simple linux os which is based on a 1gb CF Card it has a total of 128mb of ram, now think of this. all the 31 computers (teacher included now) in a computer room downloading a 9:20 or so video from youtube all at once, not only did it max out the shitty 10/100 port it used all the ram on the firewall because the shitty os it's based on uses 64mb of ram by itself then imagine all these files streaming down through this one shitty filter add all the other computers being used in the school, which at guess would be about 46 all trying to access the internet at once. I had to pull one last trick. The school always have spare parts under the desks the computers are on, old ones but still good. I pulled out my laptop from my bag, said I was going to the toilet and headed off to the small room the servers are in which is where the evil router is hosted, I first connected to the firewall using a spare Ethernet port, with me to check all the network settings, hooked up my 4 port small router I found (decent, 10/100/1000 and all) moved over all the settings and powered down the shitty filter and hooked up the Ethernet cables from the filter from the firewall to my small router and restarted the tiny thing. I came back gleefully and saw all the video's loading, It seems the school hasn't noticed that someone changed over the router, Granted this was a bit bad of me but I've recently been so pissed off at the school that I just had to give a huge F-U to the school. Yes wall of text I'm sorry but This did happen, I had to sneak around the school. Only people who know what I did was the semi literate (Computer wise) builders constructing our new library, they promised not to tell.[/QUOTE]At least you did something to improve the situation instead of being an ass and fucking shit up.

I love people that defend consoles' relative power. "NO, THEY HAVE PLENTY OF RAM, I BOUGHT THE 200GB RAM EXPENSION, STUPID." [editline]04:29AM[/editline] This guy (who also tells me that CSI computer bullshittery is 100% accurate) I know called me over to the computer one time at school, and he had the command prompt and the Australian government's site up. He goes "Dude, I'm about to hack the Australians' site, watch." He pinged it and then looks back at me dramatically. He goes "I told you."

[QUOTE=LinuX;22815019]At my summer school, the teachers have macs. All of them. None of them have windows computers, well the office does, but the TEACHERS do. I ask them why. They say "They are more fast, clean, and never get viruses". Later, I was about to scan my scantron into this "Accelerated Math" thing and I noticed Sophos anti-virus in the top right, that fucking shield. When I scanned it, I got that oh-so-colorful wheel that happens when a program is like "screw this, I'm crashing". Then the mac crashed with the "YOU NEED TO RESTART YOUR COMPUTER BITCH". So much for that.[/QUOTE] You know, I was writing a huge rent about that kernel panic and how it shouldn't happen ever (I'm not being a fanboy, what I'm trying to say is that they shouldn't get kernel panics when the software and hardware is made by the same people.) After looking at this huge wall of text, I taught: "What am I doing, I'm gonna start Fanboy War VI" Tho, I have to say that it's pretty fail for apple to have their systems get kernel panics. They are under perfect conditions for stability.

My dad uses the disc tray as a cup holder at times.But it's only on my computer. So when he comes over I tend to disc connect the disc drive.

One time this girl came up to me and said "I've heard you can build computers." "Yeah, so what? It's not a specia -" "As if you anyone could build a computer. A computer has to be built by a team of professionals." "Well yeah, in a sort of sense. The parts are kind of complex to make. What I mean by 'building a computer' is by buying the primary parts, like the motherboard, power supply, etc. of the computer and putting them together..." "No, no, no. Building a computer is hard to do, period. Way too complex. Leave it to the professionals at Dell and Apple. And why would a power supply be in a computer? That's for generators." "Er..." "If you think you really can build computers, build one for me today and show it to me tomorrow." "Okay, you obviously don't know anything about computers, screw off."

[QUOTE=Aurora93;22816467]One time this girl came up to me and said "I've heard you can build computers." "Yeah, so what? It's not a specia -" "As if you anyone could build a computer. A computer has to be built by a team of professionals." "Well yeah, in a sort of sense. The parts are kind of complex to make. What I mean by 'building a computer' is by buying the primary parts, like the motherboard, power supply, etc. of the computer and putting them together..." "No, no, no. Building a computer is hard to do, period. Way too complex. Leave it to the professionals at Dell and Apple. And why would a power supply be in a computer? That's for generators." "Er..." "If you think you really can build computers, build one for me today and show it to me tomorrow." "Okay, you obviously don't know anything, screw off."[/QUOTE] :sigh:...women

[QUOTE=drummerundrcovr;22815593]not illiteracy, probably already seen it but: [URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yISqCAnROh8[/URL] :v: just remembered it today.[/QUOTE] That is amazing.

Back from school. Well today right before maths me and my friend were talking about Wow and stuff and this kid who is notorious for being incredibly annoying, dopey and doesn't stop talking... EVER came up and joined in the conversation, he said he'll play wow again when he gets his computer back. He then said it was getting repaired and it's the best computer you can ever get. He said that it was really old but had tons of upgrades. I loled slightly. later in maths I said "What specs does it have" he then looked up thinking and said "I'll get back to you". My figuring he's just got some shitty pentium dual core with 1gb of ram and a 7600gs or some shit.

I know I've said it ages ago, but I hate hate hate [i]hate[/i] [i][b]hate[/b][/i] when people brag about how big, expensive, and awesome their computer and/or graphics card is, then proceed to talk about nothing but WoW.

[QUOTE=daijitsu;22818314]I know I've said it ages ago, but I hate hate hate [i]hate[/i] [i][b]hate[/b][/i] when people brag about how big, expensive, and awesome their computer and/or graphics card is, then proceed to talk about nothing but WoW.[/QUOTE] I have two GTX280s in SLI. :smug: Wanna join my guild?

[QUOTE=Quo Vadi;22815877]I love people that defend consoles' relative power. "NO, THEY HAVE PLENTY OF RAM, I BOUGHT THE 200GB RAM EXPENSION, STUPID." [editline]04:29AM[/editline] This guy (who also tells me that CSI computer bullshittery is 100% accurate) I know called me over to the computer one time at school, and he had the command prompt and the Australian government's site up. He goes "Dude, I'm about to hack the Australians' site, watch." He pinged it and then looks back at me dramatically. He goes "I told you."[/QUOTE] Should do a tracert and watch him go :pcgaming: [editline]07:28AM[/editline] So a friend of mine were all like "Can I borrow $20?" I said sure, because he promised he'd pay me back once his "very serious buisness" was up and running. I couldn't but to wonder what this "seerious buiznes" could be, and so I asked him. Apparently it was all about scamming steam accounts, and selling it for a few dollars. What you'd do was upload the shittiest rip-off of a login page on steampowered.com, to a free host. Then you'd setup a gz.com domain named, and I quote; "You should name it something like steampowered_com_community_showprofile213124324.gz.com" I facepalmed at my friend, and he told me to make something better to "prof my l33t sk1llz" :sigh:

[QUOTE=daijitsu;22818314]I know I've said it ages ago, but I hate hate hate [i]hate[/i] [i][b]hate[/b][/i] when people brag about how big, expensive, and awesome their computer and/or graphics card is, then proceed to talk about nothing but WoW.[/QUOTE] Sad thing is it's probably a piece of shit.

haha this thread has made my day. :P One of my friends is like this and it realy pisses me off. I have been brought up in a family heavly involved with computers my Dad owns a software company and my cousin makes flash games. :P Anyway I was talking to my friend and I was like "Im thinking of upgrading my motherboard" My friend stops and starts laughing "There is not such thing as a motherboard" And that realy pissed me off. arrr

[QUOTE=cbrain;22801289]It didn't at the time but it's cool they do now. I still dislike free domains though.[/QUOTE] Yeah, but if you don't wanna pay, .co.cc looks nice enough [editline]08:36AM[/editline] [QUOTE=Unreliable;22815387]The computer illiterate guy I was talking to, who thinks he knows everything decided to be my friend again on facebook. He still doesn't know clockspeed means GHz... He immediately opened chat with me: Jackson: Hey, I'm sorry about lying about the computer stuff, I now know more than I did before. Me: That's fine, I just get angry at people who lie. Jackson: Yeah, I know.. I'm getting my AMD 620 in the mail today. Me: AMD 620? The Althon II X4? Jackson: No. it's a prototype gpu for the main processor. Me: Oh really... Jackson: Yeah, it's clocked to 11:00 AM and can make pictures on the screen in 60hz a minute. Me: Oh my fucking god. Jackson: I KNOW! IT'S AMAZING! Me: I KNOW, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACEBOOK. Jackson: What???? I then proceeded to remove him from my friends.[/QUOTE] 60 Hz/minute what [editline]08:40AM[/editline] [QUOTE=Tools;22818819]Should do a tracert and watch him go :pcgaming: [editline]07:28AM[/editline] So a friend of mine were all like "Can I borrow $20?" I said sure, because he promised he'd pay me back once his "very serious buisness" was up and running. I couldn't but to wonder what this "seerious buiznes" could be, and so I asked him. Apparently it was all about scamming steam accounts, and selling it for a few dollars. What you'd do was upload the shittiest rip-off of a login page on steampowered.com, to a free host. Then you'd setup a gz.com domain named, and I quote; "You should name it something like steampowered_com_community_showprofile213124324.gz.com" I facepalmed at my friend, and he told me to make something better to "prof my l33t sk1llz" :sigh:[/QUOTE] How would that cost any money to start?

[QUOTE=hTux;22819575]How would that cost any money to start?[/QUOTE] Cause it was some "100 steam accounts in 15 minutes" tutorial.