• Some retard asked Siri where to hide his roommates corpse.
    59 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Excalibuurr;45682587]Or you can just eat it.[/QUOTE] That's a lot of meat. Or are we talking a soylent green-esque manner?
[QUOTE=Jsm;45682631]That's a lot of meat. Or are we talking a soylent green-esque manner?[/QUOTE] there are lot of good parts to choose from though. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wCzCY93mKq0/TPBxUaszIXI/AAAAAAAACDY/Hklr-AsxuS8/s1600/eating+human.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=Jsm;45682631]That's a lot of meat. Or are we talking a soylent green-esque manner?[/QUOTE] just throw it into a log shredder and say it was an accident
From [url=http://globalnews.ca/news/1505696/man-accused-of-killing-roommate-asking-siri-where-to-hide-body/]another source[/url]: [quote]He told authorities that he and Aguilar got into an argument after buying a Kanye West CD but that he "had beaten his friend, not killed him."[/quote] Kanye causing nothing but trouble as usual...
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;45682664]there are lot of good parts to choose from though. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wCzCY93mKq0/TPBxUaszIXI/AAAAAAAACDY/Hklr-AsxuS8/s1600/eating+human.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] this shouldn't make me hungry
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;45682135]there are much better ways to dispose of a body. No idea why would ask siri, it's just common sense to know how to [I]correctly[/I] dispose of a body. Public places will always have cameras, the best one out of those would be a swamp, but then you have logistic problems and it would have to be the [I]right[/I] kind of swamp that doesn't have any kind of boats going through it. Ideally you'd want a thick remote muddy bog in the next town over. but even then you'd have to chop the body up quite a lot, saw off all fingers and burn them to ash Remove all the teeth and destroy the jaw, burn all the hair on the head and remove the eyes. remove any tattoos and then finally cut all the body up into chunks, place in cardboard boxes with worms/maggots and stuff and then just dump it all. and for the cherry on top, space the dumping out in large sections of about a mile radius. Then you'd have to have an alibi for it all like an out of town conference, the equipment would need to be paid with a mix of cash and plastic to prove you where out of town it just all seems like a hassle to me.[/QUOTE] Or you can just put them on a bus when nobody's looking and never worry about it again. Considering how fucking boring public transport is, everyone will just presume that was the COD.
[QUOTE=Drsalvador;45682788]Or you can just put them on a bus when nobody's looking and never worry about it again. Considering how fucking boring public transport is, everyone will just presume that was the COD.[/QUOTE] Buses have cameras. Just throw the body in the bathtub and fill it with acid.
[QUOTE=certified;45682798]Buses have cameras. Just throw the body in the bathtub and fill it with acid.[/QUOTE] Forget acid, use a strong base of some kind. Unlike acids, the body doesn't have any resistance to strong bases, they eat through nearly everything with ease.
[QUOTE=jonu67;45682410]Pishaw, everyone knows from movies/TV series that buying various acids and mixing them in a bath is the correct way of getting rid of a body, then all you gotta do is bury the bones. :v:[/QUOTE] Oooh but that would leave a scary skellington that could spook you out of your skin at night! [editline]14th August 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=_Maverick_;45682664]there are lot of good parts to choose from though. -img snip.[/QUOTE] Oh holy shit now you are spooking me! You gotta be some sort of murderous S.S.S(Spooky Scary Skeleton) Are you.. are you a murderer/cannibal?
I once asked Siri what song I should masturbate to. Answers Carly Rae Jensen - Call Me Maybe Katy Perry - California Girls Aqua - Barbie Girl Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On
I want to give OP "didn't read"...
[QUOTE=certified;45682798]Buses have cameras. [B]Just throw the body in the bathtub and fill it with acid[/B].[/QUOTE] That sounds like it asking for HILARIOUS problems.
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;45681611]I'm reminded of Dennis Rader. Serial killer who asked the police if they could trace him if he sent them a disk. It went down just as you think.[/QUOTE] Ah, BTK was seriously a weird serial killer. He had a pretty good cover life, too bad it's what got him caught. Shouldn't have burnt the disk from his church.
[QUOTE=certified;45682798]Buses have cameras. Just throw the body in the bathtub and fill it with acid.[/QUOTE] haven't you watched breaking bad
So, apparently if you get arrested and put on trial, it's okay for the prosecutor to dredge up images you scrolled past on Facebook (posted by people you probably don't know) and misrepresent them as being your own personal web activity. Shitheads.
[QUOTE=certified;45682798]Buses have cameras.[/QUOTE] Not if you blow up the bus and then put the charred corpses on another bus. It's the perfect crime.
[QUOTE=Pawnstick;45683476]haven't you watched breaking bad[/QUOTE] Yeah, you gotta use a barrel.
Best way to get rid of a body is to feed it to pigs. Pigs will eat the bones as well as the flesh!
[QUOTE=mn_chaos;45682886]Forget acid, use a strong base of some kind. Unlike acids, the body doesn't have any resistance to strong bases, they eat through nearly everything with ease.[/QUOTE] Exactly, concentrated caustic soda (NaOH) will react with the fats in the body (and DNA) and break it down to water soluble soaps. Then you just drain it off and you've got a perfectly clean skeleton.
[QUOTE]“Might that explain why this screen capture indicates an AT&T provider as opposed to Verizon which is the carrier of the defendant’s cell phone?”[/QUOTE] [img]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/27431030/site%20materials/phoenixsiri.png[/img]
The best easter egg is when you ask siri to google "anarchist's cookbook" or give you a non-exhaustive list of people who work at the NSA, he asks you to activate the gps tracker. Fucking Siri man.
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;45682135]there are much better ways to dispose of a body. No idea why would ask siri, it's just common sense to know how to [I]correctly[/I] dispose of a body. Public places will always have cameras, the best one out of those would be a swamp, but then you have logistic problems and it would have to be the [I]right[/I] kind of swamp that doesn't have any kind of boats going through it. Ideally you'd want a thick remote muddy bog in the next town over. but even then you'd have to chop the body up quite a lot, saw off all fingers and burn them to ash Remove all the teeth and destroy the jaw, burn all the hair on the head and remove the eyes. remove any tattoos and then finally cut all the body up into chunks, place in cardboard boxes with worms/maggots and stuff and then just dump it all. and for the cherry on top, space the dumping out in large sections of about a mile radius. Then you'd have to have an alibi for it all like an out of town conference, the equipment would need to be paid with a mix of cash and plastic to prove you where out of town it just all seems like a hassle to me.[/QUOTE] Congratulations, the NSA is now tracking you.
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;45682664]there are lot of good parts to choose from though. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wCzCY93mKq0/TPBxUaszIXI/AAAAAAAACDY/Hklr-AsxuS8/s1600/eating+human.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] Ooh, this'll be useful for when I finally get around to writing that short story
Just bury it at a cementary, they would never expect it
[QUOTE=certified;45682798]Buses have cameras. Just throw the body in the bathtub and fill it with acid.[/QUOTE] What do you mean bathtub..?
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;45682664]there are lot of good parts to choose from though. [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wCzCY93mKq0/TPBxUaszIXI/AAAAAAAACDY/Hklr-AsxuS8/s1600/eating+human.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] According to some cannibals white people are too salty though. I'll see if I can find the source...
Actually human's an acquired taste even for cannibals, they say it tastes unpleasantly bitter.
[url]http://www.bild.de/news/bild-english/japanese-taste-best-whites-are-too-salty-6816750.bild.html[/url] (This site is pretty much the least reputable news source I know of, but this particular article hasn't been refuted afaik.)
[QUOTE=Sio;45684492]Just bury it at a cementary, they would never expect it[/QUOTE] If you do it just right you might be able to make people think zombies are totes legit and it's happening.
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