Virginity pledges for men can lead to sexual confusion- even after the wedding day
51 replies, posted
There was a very good article I read recently about a woman who waited until marriage to lose her virginity and she realised after that she was brainwashed to think that sex was bad and taboo and even after having sex she felt really wrong about it and it messed up her sex life for a while. I can't for the life of me find it.
[QUOTE=Banned?;45722748]Reminds me of something I read once. Not directly related, but still there and kinda funny.
"I know of a guy who had to explain to a very sheltered Christian friend how sex worked. On the friend's wedding night. Because the friend and his bride were never taught what sex was, so they just got naked and laid next to each other holding hands, and waited for "God to make something special happen." After about 30 minutes, they called this guy for help."[/QUOTE]
Wow.
The thought of that actually happening has crossed my mind, but for it to REALLY happen?..
[QUOTE=Miskav;45725574]...Then repeal it?
It serves no purpose, clutters up your legal system, (there's probably hundreds if not thousands of these nonsense laws, potentially waiting to be abused) and the only purpose it can possibly serve is to arrest a political opponent or someone who "doesn't think along the same lines of the government".[/QUOTE]
There's a legal principle that basically ignores laws if they are superseded by a newer, broader law.
For example, there's the good old standby that in certain parts of England, it is on the books that it is legal to hunt and kill Welshmen, but only with a longbow.
Obviously, the laws against murder invalidate this law entirely.
For that reason, there's no actual need to go to the trouble of spring cleaning that law away, it's already obsolete and no judge would uphold the charges based on an ancient law like that. It's faster than having the legal system go through the whole process of removing old laws.
This really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone and while the story/concept may seem funny, this sort of thing is actually quite a big problem.
There have been so many reports about how harmful abstinence-only sex education is and it should be fairly obvious why it's an awful system.
[quote]The newly wedded men also expressed surprise that sexual temptations continued to taunt them.[/quote]
Probably just a bug in Christianity. Should just wait for god to release the 2014.1 patch.
[QUOTE=Badballer;45726628]There was a very good article I read recently about a woman who waited until marriage to lose her virginity and she realised after that she was brainwashed to think that sex was bad and taboo and even after having sex she felt really wrong about it and it messed up her sex life for a while. I can't for the life of me find it.[/QUOTE]
You and an earlier poster both mentioned this. Was it [URL="http://thoughtcatalog.com/samantha-pugsley/2014/08/i-waited-until-my-wedding-night-to-lose-my-virginity-and-i-wish-i-hadnt/"]this article?[/URL]
[QUOTE=Rocâ„¢;45726642]Wow.
The thought of that actually happening has crossed my mind, but for it to REALLY happen?..[/QUOTE]
I remember reading online about a couple who sought assistance because they thought they were infertile. Turns out the guy was fucking the space between her legs rather than the vagina, if that makes any sense.
Man if that girl had a thigh gap getting off would have been one hell of a challenge.
[QUOTE=NiandraLades;45727029]This really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone and while the story/concept may seem funny, this sort of thing is actually quite a big problem.
There have been so many reports about how harmful abstinence-only sex education is and it should be fairly obvious why it's an awful system.[/QUOTE]
Puritanism is a daft thing but it's alive and well in America, and during the GW Bush era it was specifically pandered to. Abstinence-only sex ed was made a requirement to obtain federal funding, IIRC.
So do these abstino people not even jack off?
I cant tell if i find this funny or infuriating, on the one hand the idea of people still being clueless about sex on their wedding night is fairly humorous, but on the other hand they are only like that because of shitty parenting and education- its like they had their chance at a normal sex life stolen from them.
[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;45725781]I'll truly never understand abstinence.[/QUOTE]
I think the main problem I have with 'teaching' abstinence is that usually the people who do that don't include teaching sex education. So let's say I was a father and had a daughter about to go into her teenage years. If my personal beliefs were 'no sex for you until you're married' then sure abstinence until then is what I'd teach her. However, I should still make sure she's fully informed about her body and how sex itself works. I should still make sure she understands this is a normal part of life(when she's married) and therefore she should not be ashamed to talk about it or ask questions.
Otherwise these parents are just raising kids who are going to have messed up sex lives, and attitudes about sex. Eventually they will sort it all out but that could take a long time, meaning they will have to needlessly suffer through poor sex lives until then.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;45727127]You and an earlier poster both mentioned this. Was it [URL="http://thoughtcatalog.com/samantha-pugsley/2014/08/i-waited-until-my-wedding-night-to-lose-my-virginity-and-i-wish-i-hadnt/"]this article?[/URL][/QUOTE]
That's the one cheers. It gives a very good perspective on the repercussions that can occur.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;45727127]You and an earlier poster both mentioned this. Was it [URL="http://thoughtcatalog.com/samantha-pugsley/2014/08/i-waited-until-my-wedding-night-to-lose-my-virginity-and-i-wish-i-hadnt/"]this article?[/URL]
I remember reading online about a couple who sought assistance because they thought they were infertile. Turns out the guy was fucking the space between her legs rather than the vagina, if that makes any sense.
Man if that girl had a thigh gap getting off would have been one hell of a challenge.[/QUOTE]
Animals with the IQ of retarded children can literally figure out what goes in where without ever being 'told' how to do it.
[I]How fucking dumb do you have to be to not figure it out?[/I]
[editline]19th August 2014[/editline]
This isn't your average everyday stupid...
[QUOTE=sltungle;45735156]Animals with the IQ of retarded children can literally figure out what goes in where without ever being 'told' how to do it.
[I]How fucking dumb do you have to be to not figure it out?[/I]
[editline]19th August 2014[/editline]
This isn't your average everyday stupid...[/QUOTE]
Often times they're told it's "wrong" so they suppress a lot of their sexuality.
A prime example is Mormonism; if you check the ex-Mormon reddit there's a lot of comments from men and women who have had similar experiences with not knowing things you and I would just "expect" people to know.
[QUOTE=sltungle;45735156]Animals with the IQ of retarded children can literally figure out what goes in where without ever being 'told' how to do it.
[I]How fucking dumb do you have to be to not figure it out?[/I]
[editline]19th August 2014[/editline]
This isn't your average everyday stupid...[/QUOTE]
Jesus, even the first time you do it, it just sort of happens naturally. I agree, it's not hard to figure out.
I had a roommate back in 9th grade boarding school who was this type. He didn't want to think about sex, much less see it or -shudder- engage in it. He didn't really get into relationships with girls much, but he definitely didn't with guys either (most of his time was spent in our dorm room). After a few months I got him to open up about it, and he seriously had zero idea what sex was - he just knew it involved naked people in bed and pregnancy. (Since it was a christian school, our health class only briefly covered STDs. It was abstinence-focused.) To this day he claims to be a virgin and is saving for his wife. He won't even masturbate - he didn't while I knew him at least, and claims that he hasn't yet, but you can imagine how truthful that is for a 22 year old.
I ended up giving him a handjob though. Pretty sure he was just secretly gay the whole time.
But God said go and have as much sex as possible?
What else would "go forth and multiply" mean?
My mother is a hairdresser and hence, chats to people alot. She has couple from marokko as one of her clients.
The women is modern"ish" and all, but the man is from the mountains and didnt get any education whatsoever. So one day the women brings up the notion of having children and the man literally had no clue how baby's where made. She had to explain it all.
[QUOTE=Emperor Scorpious II;45737442]But God said go and have as much sex as possible?
What else would "go forth and multiply" mean?[/QUOTE]
God is one of the most indecisive beings to date, judging by his all time best seller. It really is sad that some people really do grow up thinking sex is horrible before marriage, some parents force their (of age) children to marry if an accidental pregnancy should occur as to not shame the family, and the lack of sex education (even in schools today) is absurd, because to be frank, the reason i waited till 16 17 to go fuck wasnt the fear of god. Or my family, its because of those std pics in health class.. i lived in fear of having sex and having cauliflower grow on my male part, but once i hit that age when i realized safe sex prevents stuff like that i was on my own, and it really isnt that bad.
Don't you mean Morocco?
Our school tried to teach abstinence in junior high, but I remember talking to my classmates afterwards and all it did was make them want to go fuck more.
I never got any of the talks about the birds and the bees from my parents. Nor are any of my immediate family religious. Hell, I don't for once even remember ever invoking the subject. At some point I vaguely remember partaking in mandatory basic Sex Ed in the later years of elementary school and later on as well, but it never seemed like a mystery to me. Then whilst I was snugly thrust into the teenage years, betwixt raging hormones and shy encounters with girls, where every sort of contact was an adventure (fuck, I miss being 16...), it just so happened that I wound up with a girl and we fell madly in love. From there we sort of just went with the flow and shortly afterward had sex. It was strange at first, but goddamn, once we got used to it we went at it like rabbits for 5 years. It played quite a big part in what we had. Not to mention she was the coolest person I had and still have ever known. It's bad to put your past on a pedestal, but I ain't denying the truth. Both of these facets of our relationship strengthened the other. And I was at peace.
It's asinine to assume a healthy sex life doesn't play a huge role in nourishing a relationship. Who you have sex with, along with how you click outside of it and so on and so forth, is all absolutely critical to building up a solid, healthy identity and personality, as well as sexuality. And all of these things are best experienced earlier rather than later. The falling in love, the sex, the mixing and mingling with different people, different personalities, the pain and broken hearts, the jealousy and anger, acceptance and peace of mind - it all builds character. Confidence in yourself as an individual. It allows a child to smoothly transition into adulthood. No mystery, no confusion. No magic and no fucking tragedy.
This is what we are. Social creatures. Humans.
I'd like to think I turned out pretty OK...
I miss her...
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