13-Year-Old Girl Dies By Suicide After Dad Shares Public Shaming Video
255 replies, posted
[QUOTE=papaya;47893602]ignoring the horrendous amount of victim blaming, why the fuck would a 13 year old girl go out and do drugs
why would you even think thats a possible option[/QUOTE]
I was 13 when I first got into booze and weed n stuff, it's totally possible... why did you think it wasn't lol
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893589]Uploading it to youtube doesn't mean anything, it's like pouring a bucket of water into the ocean. I doubt a 15 second low quality barely comprehensible video was going to get much attention. It's getting attention NOW, sure, because there's a news article about it. Her life was not ruined by the video he posted, nor was it ruined by him cutting her hair off. It was ruined by people at school and, most likely, when she didn't confide in someone of authority about it.[/QUOTE]
if its posted on youtube then its reasonable to assume it was also posted on facebook, where her peers are likely to see it
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893589]Uploading it to youtube doesn't mean anything, it's like pouring a bucket of water into the ocean. I doubt a 15 second low quality barely comprehensible video was going to get much attention. It's getting attention NOW, sure, because there's a news article about it. Her life was not ruined by the video he posted, nor was it ruined by him cutting her hair off. It was ruined by people at school and, most likely, when she didn't confide in someone of authority about it.[/QUOTE]
Are you an authority on youth mental development/her personal life????
I'm not entirely sure how you can, with all confidence, outright determine what was the last straw for a girl who found suicide the best answer.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]post[/QUOTE]
Not to sound rude or anything dude, but you have no idea what you're talking about.
Physical punishment doesn't really compare to this situation. It's one way of raising kids, one way of parenting, but this whole thing is another matter entirely.
[QUOTE=FingerSpazem;47893610]I was 13 when I first got into booze and weed n stuff[/QUOTE]
thats sad
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]
Cutting off her hair and filming it while letting her know WHY he was doing it is not 'abuse'. Any good barber/stylist can salvage any length of hair to make a girl beautiful.
[/QUOTE]
Irrelevant. Cutting someone's hair without their consent is violating their body, and if the girl considered it humiliating it was abuse, even much moreso when made public.
The girl did not feel safe and accepted at home to the point she committed suicide. You not seeing how extremely wrong that is makes you seem pretty messed up.
[quote]The man just lost his daughter[/quote]
The daughter lost her life.
[QUOTE=Mingebox;47893574]Yeah, and you turned out just fine didn't you?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I did. I have a steady job, I've had healthy relationships, I own a house, and I have a cute little beagle mix dog named Malcolm that I love very much.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]Are you guys serious? This isn't abuse. This is parenting. It's not the father's fault the daughter thought it was necessary to kill herself because he cut off her [i]hair[/i]
Did y'all even watch the little video? Or read the article?
Sounds like she, a 13 year old girl, went drinking with friends or possibly even did some drugs. That's what I typically associate "getting messed up" with. There are a LOT of other ways this could have played out, the father could have whipped her or beat her, he could have ACTUALLY abused her, she could have gotten grievously hurt under the effects of the assumed intoxication.
Cutting off her hair and filming it while letting her know WHY he was doing it is not 'abuse'. Any good barber/stylist can salvage any length of hair to make a girl beautiful.
I was spanked on the buttocks with an open palm by my mother (and later father once I got older) when I fucked up. If I swore, they washed my mouth out with ivory soap. If I did something minor that didn't warrant being spanked they'd take away privileges like TV or video games. I know a lot of you are in the same age group as me, and had these same types of punishment. To think any of you seriously believe that this father needs to go to jail for this is astonishing.
The man just lost his daughter
ease the hell up
[editline]6th June 2015[/editline]
Read the article. "The consequences of getting messed up". That means alcohol or drugs. And no, cutting someone's hair is not "serious shit". He didn't buzz-cut her for christ's sake he just took off the bottom foot or so it looks like. 100% salvageable.[/QUOTE]
So instead of sitting down and having a serious talk with your kid (who has obvious issues) you decide that bullying and embarrassing her online for the entire world to see is going to help in this situation?
Does that really sound like something that'll actually help her behavior and not make things much worse?
[QUOTE=deadoon;47893596]You are adding possibilities to justify it.
A teenager cares about their image greatly, as that is what the social situation expects of them. Removing a part of someones hair and giving them a short cut rather than the more common long hair which they had is not merely a punishment, that is directly detrimental to their public and personal image.
Her knowing that the people at school can see her video is enough to make the punishment far worse than it originally was, in addition to the public ridicule it could bring.[/QUOTE]
I'm not adding possibilities to justify anything I'm simply stating we don't have the whole story, probably never will, and we're ill-equipped to pass judgement. I simply offered one possible scenario that could have unfolded.
the best parents obviously look to prison tactics for answers to their issues
take a page out of the french resistance's book while you're at it
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893617]Yeah, I did. I have a steady job, I've had healthy relationships, I own a house, and I have a cute little beagle mix dog named Malcolm that I love very much.[/QUOTE]
And here you are trying to justify a parent cutting off their children's hair against their will, and having that embarrassing moment plastered on the internet for everyone to see.
Protip, that's not good parenting.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893617]Yeah, I did. I have a steady job, I've had healthy relationships, I own a house, and I have a cute little beagle mix dog named Malcolm that I love very much.[/QUOTE]
You're also victim-blaming a child who was not only bullied in real life but evidently so in her own home as well.
So, no, you didn't.
Is there any source other than jezebel?
Probably bet the father feels awful about this. When you guys are saying that he was an asshole, the father probably had no idea that she was going to kill herself, he already feels bad enough the way it is.
[QUOTE=papaya;47893602]ignoring the horrendous amount of victim blaming, why the fuck would a 13 year old girl go out and do drugs
why would you even think thats a possible option[/QUOTE]
When did you leave high school?
I graduated in 2010 and I knew kids in her same age group that bribed homeless people to buy them booze and did acid behind the grocery store after school.
This was not in the ghetto by the way. It was in the rural south.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893617]Yeah, I did. I have a steady job, I've had healthy relationships, I own a house, and I have a cute little beagle mix dog named Malcolm that I love very much.[/QUOTE]
Good for you. Nobody gives a shit, you're defending a man who drove his daughter to suicide.
It's bullying, not parenting. If a schoolkid had held her down and shaved her head, would that be "just part of the school experience." Fuck no. You're defending a bully who [I]made his own child kill herself.[/I]
I'm quite disturbed when I see people who suggest that, as a parent, your children are just your property/ guinea pigs to experiment with, and not human beings whose personalities you are creating through your own actions. If beating people was the best way for them to learn, then policemen would break your nose rather for free rather than waste money throwing people in jail cells.
[editline]6th June 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893617]Yeah, I did. I have a steady job, I've had healthy relationships, I own a house, and I have a cute little beagle mix dog named Malcolm that I love very much.[/QUOTE]
If the beagle yaps, do you wash its mouth out with ivory soap?
[QUOTE=Deathtrooper2;47893638]Probably bet the father feels awful about this. When you guys are saying that he was an asshole, the father probably had no idea that she was going to kill herself, he already feels bad enough the way it is.[/QUOTE]
See, the thing is, there are things that parents are in COMPLETE control of. While he may not have been able to keep her from killing herself, there are a number of factors that he could [I]certainly[/I] have changed and had [I]every[/I] power to do so.
I feel bad for him, yes. But to a point. I feel even worse for a thirteen year old girl who found it necessary to throw herself off a highway.
Some people just shouldn't be parents.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]I was spanked on the buttocks with an open palm by my mother (and later father once I got older) when I fucked up. If I swore, they washed my mouth out with ivory soap.[/QUOTE]
I see that as physical abuse of a child, regardless. How can a parent justify [I]physical force[/I] on a child? This world is fucked up.
I grew up in a home with two siblings. All of us were raised without any form of physical punishment. Sure we were yelled at when we did something really stupid, but never anything physical. There are loads of kids in a nearby estate who are OPENLY spanked by their parents, and they're all little shits constantly being brought home in a police car.
I don't care what your beliefs are, if you lay your hand on a child, even your own, you're scum.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893627]I'm not adding possibilities to justify anything I'm simply stating we don't have the whole story, probably never will, and we're ill-equipped to pass judgement. I simply offered one possible scenario that could have unfolded.[/QUOTE]
How is saying that it may have been her parents going to a parlor to give her a hair styling NOT lightening the situation up with a possible but unfounded scenario?
[QUOTE=Talishmar;47893615]
The girl did not feel safe and accepted at home to the point she committed suicide. You not seeing how extremely wrong that is makes you seem pretty messed up.
The daughter lost her life.[/QUOTE]
This is not 100% her father's fault. We have no idea if she confided ANYTHING in him about what was happening at school, but it's safe to assume she WASN'T because that's how kids are. They hide shit like this from their parents for god knows what reason. For all we know her father thought she was perfectly well adjusted, liked at school, and was socially accepted enough to laugh something like this off with her friends. I know that's a lot of assumption but still. We KNOW kids barely ever confide in their parents.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893518]Are you guys serious? This isn't abuse. This is parenting. It's not the father's fault the daughter thought it was necessary to kill herself because he cut off her [i]hair[/i]
Did y'all even watch the little video? Or read the article?
Sounds like she, a 13 year old girl, went drinking with friends or possibly even did some drugs. That's what I typically associate "getting messed up" with. There are a LOT of other ways this could have played out, the father could have whipped her or beat her, he could have ACTUALLY abused her, she could have gotten grievously hurt under the effects of the assumed intoxication.
Cutting off her hair and filming it while letting her know WHY he was doing it is not 'abuse'. Any good barber/stylist can salvage any length of hair to make a girl beautiful.
I was spanked on the buttocks with an open palm by my mother (and later father once I got older) when I fucked up. If I swore, they washed my mouth out with ivory soap. If I did something minor that didn't warrant being spanked they'd take away privileges like TV or video games. I know a lot of you are in the same age group as me, and had these same types of punishment. To think any of you seriously believe that this father needs to go to jail for this is astonishing.
The man just lost his daughter
ease the hell up
[editline]6th June 2015[/editline]
Read the article. "The consequences of getting messed up". That means alcohol or drugs. And no, cutting someone's hair is not "serious shit". He didn't buzz-cut her for christ's sake he just took off the bottom foot or so it looks like. 100% salvageable.[/QUOTE]
[thumb]http://histclo.com/imagef/date/2013/06/colab-shave03s.jpg[/thumb]
"its just a haircut guys come on they didnt mean any harm a barber can make her beautiful again"
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893669]This is not 100% her father's fault. [B]We have no idea if she confided ANYTHING in him about what was happening at school, but it's safe to assume she WASN'T because that's how kids are.[/B] They hide shit like this from their parents for god knows what reason.[B] For all we know her father thought she was perfectly well adjusted, liked at school, and was socially accepted enough to laugh something like this off with her friends. [/B]I know that's a lot of assumption but still. We KNOW kids barely ever confide in their parents.[/QUOTE]
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
Just because you don't know your child is being bullied, you shouldn't assume that they aren't. And even further just because you assume your child is being treated well at school it does not excuse treating your child badly at home.
And assuming public shaming can be "laughed off with her friends" is really fucked up.
[QUOTE=theevilldeadII;47893418]what an asshole hope he is jailed[/QUOTE]
I agree, one thing is being a dick on the internet, another thing is being a dick to someone [B]USING[/B] the internet should be severely punishable by law. Hell, make it a felony. The internet should be used for things with no explicitly terrible effect on anyones lives. The internet was a huge catalyst for the globalization of mankind. Let's use it to make love(ArmA, Hatred, Verdun, Rust, Planetary Annihilation, all that cool splodey gory shit where you can blow off steam with your friends) Not war.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893669]This is not 100% her father's fault. We have no idea if she confided ANYTHING in him about what was happening at school, but it's safe to assume she WASN'T because that's how kids are. They hide shit like this from their parents for god knows what reason. For all we know her father thought she was perfectly well adjusted, liked at school, and was socially accepted enough to laugh something like this off with her friends. I know that's a lot of assumption but still. We KNOW kids barely ever confide in their parents.[/QUOTE]
SO you are suggesting that a forced haircut and public dissemination of this action as non-voluntary is Ok?
Yeah, let's ruin her public image and don't even give them a chance to make it out at school as they went with a short hair look.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893669]We have no idea if she confided ANYTHING in him about what was happening at school, but it's safe to assume she WASN'T because that's how kids are.[/QUOTE]
If my dad was an abusive arsehole I'd never talk to him at all.
I'm not saying parents should be their kids best friends but he went way too far.
[QUOTE=Swebonny;47893633]And here you are trying to justify a parent cutting off their children's hair against their will, and having that embarrassing moment plastered on the internet for everyone to see.
Protip, that's not good parenting.[/QUOTE]
Better that than her father flying into a rage and beating her or withholding food. Better than a lot of possibilities. I never said it was the [i]ideal[/i] method to handle the situation what I said was it's not strictly abuse.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893669]This is not 100% her father's fault. We have no idea if she confided ANYTHING in him about what was happening at school, but it's safe to assume she WASN'T because that's how kids are. They hide shit like this from their parents for god knows what reason. For all we know her father thought she was perfectly well adjusted, liked at school, and was socially accepted enough to laugh something like this off with her friends. I know that's a lot of assumption but still. We KNOW kids barely ever confide in their parents.[/QUOTE]
"It's not 100% his fault she commited suicide after he raped her, she seemed like she was perfectly well fed, well dressed and adjusted before he did this"
This is how you sound.
[QUOTE=Snoberry Tea;47893589]Her life was not ruined by the video he posted, nor was it ruined by him cutting her hair off. It was ruined by people at school and, most likely, [B]when she didn't confide in someone of authority about it.[/B][/QUOTE]
I think this is the fastest I've ever seen somebody go from 0 to victim blaming, especially considering how sensitive issues regarding abuse and depression can be. How can you say that the video or the act of cutting her hair wasn't directly or indirectly responsible for her reputation being "ruined by people at school"? A lot of your counter arguments seem fairly anecdotal and no more based in assumption than most of the people you've been intent on calling out.
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