'My Husband's Not Gay': Married Men Attracted To Men
121 replies, posted
[QUOTE=RelaxedCreepr;46902244]Why is everyone saying this is promoting suppressing gays? It's just a story where someone became happy with marrying a woman with just a romantic connection. I don't see anything wrong with that.[/QUOTE]
It seems they simply cant tolerate his lifestyle and want to put him into some kind of role, in which he is only allowed the gay lifestyle.
Sounds strangely familiar...
[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;46902228]Okay, so, first of all gold digging is wrong too. Secondly, no, it's not even his life choices that are the issue here, it's that the show is based around the idea that closeting yourself is okay; It's not, and before you say that it's not promoting closeting yourself, note that the name of the show is clearly 'My Husbands Not Gay.' Thirdly, for the love of christ stop ending your posts in ellipses ('...'). It's really pedantic and hurts your argument.
[editline]10th January 2015[/editline]
Sexuality has little to do with what you or others want it to be. If you are a guy and you like men there's a pretty decent chance that you aren't straight.[/QUOTE]
I don't consider transsexuals men, so I don't feel like I'm gay. Obviously you happen to be one of the people that would label me gay, even though I don't identify as one.
I'm cool with my sexuality, but it is a little offensive to hear someone tell you that they, a complete stranger, know better than you do about something so personal.
[QUOTE=Impact1986;46902286]It seems they simply cant tolerate his lifestyle and want to put him into some kind of role, in which he is only allowed the gay lifestyle.
Sounds strangely familiar...[/QUOTE]
Nobody is trying to put anyone into roles, stop twisting words just so you can make your epic zinger work. I don't give a damn what this man does with his life, but the moment he speaks publicly about an unhealthy lifestyle is when I start caring. If this was a show that "normalized" drug abuse or something similar without looking at the downsides, I'd be condemning it too, and I'm sure you guys would as well.
Read the thread. Not a single person is saying "this man shouldn't be living his life like this", they're saying "this man shouldn't act like his lifestyle is normal and healthy in front of millions of people"
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;46902089]it's not like he isn't pretending he doesn't have those very desires (which I agree would be a bad thing).[/QUOTE]
holy triple negative batman
Do you perhaps mean "it's not like he[u]'s[/u] pretending he doesn't have those very desires"?
[QUOTE=Comrade_Eko;46902292]I don't consider transsexuals men, so I don't feel like I'm gay. Obviously you happen to be one of the people that would label me gay, even though I don't identify as one.
I'm cool with my sexuality, but it is a little offensive to hear someone tell you that they, a complete stranger, know better than you do about something so personal.[/QUOTE]
You said that you're attracted to parts that your partner doesn't have, if you're with someone who is transgendered I did not know. I just said that if your a man and you're attracted to men you probably aren't straight.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;46902274]No, but by speaking out about it in a show that is going to be seen by millions of people he is.
And no, it's not the same as the "seeing gay people encourages you to be gay" argument, why do people keep saying this? One of those things is natural (homosexuality), the other isn't (supressing you own sexual urges)
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
There is no hypocrisy here though?[/QUOTE]
It doesn't matter if it's natural or not, by living your lifestyle you are not promoting anything, you are just living it. Why is being an openly homosexual couple okay, yet being homosexual and choosing to have a romantic life with a woman instead not ok?
Neither tells people to live like them, and neither is living the "wrong" lifestyle.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;46902310]this man shouldn't act like his life is normal and healthy in front of millions of people"[/QUOTE]
If that is really what you believe then I guess we are just going to have to agree to disagree. I happen to think a man, or woman, is made up of more than just a sex drive.
He made a choice, he seems to enjoy his choice, and if even if he helps only one other person stop being so worried about what people like you think, then I feel like this show has a reason to exist.
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;46902329]You said that you're attracted to parts that your partner doesn't have, if you're with someone who is transgendered I did not know. I just said that if your a man and you're attracted to men you probably aren't straight.[/QUOTE]
But technically, transsexuals are men. I happen to not view them this way, I happen to think they're feminine, but I'm almost completely certain that society as a whole disagrees with me completely.
So from one point of view, I'm gay, but from my own, I am not. Does that mean I'm wrong when I say I'm straight, or that people are wrong if they perceive me to be gay?
I'm just saying to think from a perspective other than your own before you judge someone so harshly.
[QUOTE=SelfishDragon;46902330]It doesn't matter if it's natural or not, by living your lifestyle you are not promoting anything, you are just living it. Why is being an openly homosexual couple okay, yet being homosexual and choosing to have a romantic life with a woman instead not ok?
Neither tells people to live like them, and neither is living the "wrong" lifestyle.[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure you're reading my posts very well, I'm literally saying I don't care about this man's life choices- UNTIL they're publicized and made to look normal.
And yes, whether or not it's natural does matter. A show about homosexuals cannot possibly "make your kid gay", because nobody can be "made gay", it's literally impossible. A show that normalizes supressing your sexual urges may just influence other homosexual people to do the same in order to fit into social parameters set by conservative and/or religious values, because THAT is possible.
Everyone has the right to identify how they wish; there's nothing keeping someone who's primarily attracted to their own gender from having a family with another.
It's just very easy to go on the defensive because the whole setup of the show is VERY similar to what horrible religious people try to force on vulnerable LGBTQ folk, especially with the family being mormon. I know for certain that even if the show has a good message, that assholes are going to misunderstand it (like a lot of people did for that one South Park episode about transfolk).
[QUOTE=Comrade_Eko;46902334]If that is really what you believe then I guess we are just going to have to agree to disagree. I happen to think a man, or woman, is made up of more than just a sex drive.
He made a choice, he seems to enjoy his choice, and if even if he helps only one other person stop being so worried about what people like you think, then I feel like this show has a reason to exist.
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
But technically, transsexuals are men. I happen to not view them this way, I happen to think they're feminine, but I'm almost completely certain that society as a whole disagrees with me completely.
So from one point of view, I'm gay, but from my own, I am not. Does that mean I'm wrong when I say I'm straight, or that people are wrong if they perceive me to be gay?
I'm just saying to think from a perspective other than your own before you judge someone so harshly.[/QUOTE]
Dude stop trying to turn my words around. I never even said you were gay, and your whole argument hinges on me being transphobic. If you love a woman you love a woman, whether or not she was born with a penis, but I took you saying that you were attracted to parts your wife didn't have as you being attracted to male genitalia because you never said anything about transsexuality. It was a misunderstanding and a literal non argument, so just cut the bullshit.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;46902360]I'm not sure you're reading my posts very well, I'm literally saying I don't care about this man's life choices- UNTIL they're publicized and made to look normal.
And yes, whether or not it's natural does matter. A show about homosexuals cannot possibly "make your kid gay", because nobody can be "made gay", it's literally impossible. A show that normalizes supressing your sexual urges may just influence other homosexual people to do the same in order to fit into social parameters set by conservative and/or religious values, because THAT is possible.[/QUOTE]
The cognitive dissonance with your statements is very strong. He's not normalizing suppressing urges, he's just living an odd lifestyle and yet showing that he's still a normal person. But for some reason him making this kind of choice tells others to do the same?
There's nothing wrong with him, saying he's bad for TV implies something is wrong with him.
There WILL be religious parents that look at this, and turn to their LGBTQ children and go "See this man did it, why CAN'T YOU" and it's terrifying to think about.
[QUOTE=Levithan;46902415]There WILL be religious parents that look at this, and turn to their LGBTQ children and go "See this man did it, why CAN'T YOU" and it's terrifying to think about.[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately anything can be interpreted differently by anyone, this doesn't mean we should outright get rid of it lest the wrong interpretations be made.
Those kinds of people are terrible and ignorant, they will just find something else to use evidence against homosexuality.
[QUOTE=SelfishDragon;46902413]The cognitive dissonance with your statements is very strong. He's not normalizing suppressing urges, he's just living an odd lifestyle and yet showing that he's still a normal person. But for some reason him making this kind of choice tells others to do the same?
There's nothing wrong with him, saying he's bad for TV implies something is wrong with him.[/QUOTE]
This is what I'm not getting. It just seems to be a show about an alternative lifestyle and a look into how it affected their lives. In fact, the last minute or so of the video has the subjects AND TLC stating outright that its not about how suppressing gay urges is the "right" way to live and endorsing it. Its simply a documentary. Watching the trailer, I agreed. I wasn't getting that vibe at all. One guy saying it was the right decision for him is not a blanket statement that its right for everybody.
[QUOTE=DiscoMelon;46902406]Dude stop trying to turn my words around. I never even said you were gay, and your whole argument hinges on me being transphobic. If you love a woman you love a woman, whether or not she was born with a penis, but I took you saying that you were attracted to parts your wife didn't have as you being attracted to male genitalia because you never said anything about transsexuality. It was a misunderstanding and a literal non argument, so just cut the bullshit.[/QUOTE]
Ok, I'll cut the bullshit.
A TV show about a gay man living an alternate lifestyle is fine with me.
A TV show that shames sexual behavior is not.
I do not believe that this show, from what I have seen, is shaming homosexuality. My opinion is open to change, depending on how it turns out, my opinion isn't set in stone quite yet.
Why do you think that this show is shaming homosexuality, and his harmful?
its almost as if bisexuality never existed
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;46901959]What isn't admirable about having the willpower to control your base instincts?[/QUOTE]
What isn't admirable about being your own self and making your own life choices for your own happiness as opposed to blind conformity?
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Silence I Kill You;46901961]And he's happy that way. If everyone involved is happy with it, including him, and it's not hurting anyone, why should anyone care?[/QUOTE]
The show will lead some to think that [I]all[/I] gay men can be happy suppressing their sexuality, and that imposes on their right to living the way they may want to.
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Canuhearme?;46902154]He seems pretty normal and healthy though.[/QUOTE]
He is, but the fear lies in that some may think [I]anyone[/I] can be normal and healthy this way, and that it's the way gay people ought to be.
-snip-
[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;46902813]
[editline]11th January 2015[/editline]
The show will lead some to think that [I]all[/I] gay men can be happy suppressing their sexuality, and that imposes on their right to living the way they may want to.
[/QUOTE]
There are tons of other gay characters in TV and in movies that are not living they way he is, so why should this one special snowflake have such a large impact?
[QUOTE=Impact1986;46902865]There are tons of other gay characters in TV and in movies that are not living they way he is, so why should this one special snowflake have such a large impact?[/QUOTE]
Because he's a real man, not a character, and you said it yourself: he's a special snowflake. There's no one else on TV like him, and TLC shows get a lot of publicity.
[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;46902873]Because he's a real man, not a character, and you said it yourself: he's a special snowflake. There's no one else on TV like him, and TLC shows get a lot of publicity.[/QUOTE]
Barack Obama is real, and a special snowflake, but the level of education of black people in the USA didn't suddenly skyrocket because of it. Not even the gangbanger mentality dropped. Otherwise a black criminal who pointed a gun at a police officer and died because of it wouldn't be painted as a poor victim.
You cant form stereotypes out of special snowflakes.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Derailing with off-topic racial diatribe" - Big Dumb American))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=Impact1986;46902992]Barack Obama is real, and a special snowflake, but the level of education of black people in the USA didn't suddenly skyrocket because of it. Not even the gangbanger mentality dropped. Otherwise a black criminal who pointed a gun at a police officer and died because of it wouldn't be painted as a poor victim.
You cant form stereotypes out of special snowflakes.[/QUOTE]
How does influencing someone to change their mentality relate in any possible way with magically raising education levels for a specific part of the population?
lmao 'don't act on their sexual attractions'
yeah right, how much do you want to bet they go to gay bathhouses and get it up both ends and love every second of it
[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;46902813]What isn't admirable about being your own self and making your own life choices for your own happiness as opposed to blind conformity?[/QUOTE]
Controlling your base desires through your own willpower is entirely a choice of your own.
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;46904110]Controlling your base desires through your own willpower is entirely a choice of your own.[/QUOTE]
ah yes like peer pressure and backwards societal mores that essentially force people to hide who they are or want to be aren't things
[QUOTE=Levithan;46904214]ah yes like peer pressure and backwards societal mores that essentially force people to hide who they are or want to be aren't things[/QUOTE]
And somehow he doesn't have to hide that he is gay
[QUOTE=bIgFaTwOrM12;46902010] what he's doing is controlling the urge to do something he knows is wrong.[/QUOTE]
Exactly, but there is nothing wrong with being gay, that's the issue.
This would be like airing a show about a girl with an eating disorder, and acting like her denying herself food to the point of starvation was admirable - "[i] Jane controls her urge to eat for yet another day! she wont be getting *fat* any time soon![/i]
[QUOTE=Impact1986;46904282]And somehow he doesn't have to hide that he is gay[/QUOTE]
Ah yes, that means that everyone that isn't straight or cis can come out of the closet right now and be perfectly fine yes.
[QUOTE=Impact1986;46904282]And somehow he doesn't have to hide that he is gay[/QUOTE]
What's the name of the show again?
[QUOTE=fulgrim;46904349]Exactly, but there is nothing wrong with being gay, that's the issue.
This would be like airing a show about a girl with an eating disorder, and acting like her denying herself food to the point of starvation was admirable - "[i] Jane controls her urge to eat for yet another day! she wont be getting *fat* any time soon![/i][/QUOTE]
But that's not the point of the show.
Hell apparently one of the men on the show is fine with his sex life with his wife, and believes they have strong romantic relationship. I've seen no evidence that he is showcasing strategies and tactics to suppress his "evil" urges.
Here is a quote from him:
[QUOTE]Jeff Bennion said he would be horrified if a parent told a gay child that they should be more like one of the men on the show.
"That's not anything that I would support or agree with," he said.
But Bennion said that he's happy with his wife and their 6-year-old son. "I can't believe how lucky I am," he said.[/QUOTE]
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