Father Shoots Daughter's Computer For Disrespectful Facebook Post
888 replies, posted
[QUOTE=iFail;34645493]not the same, although both are rather disproportionate responses.[/QUOTE]It's pretty well and the same circumstances. Obviously you show leniency because your daughter is family and it was only online.
Just going to make her think her parents are batshit insane.
This kind of punishment is called a "last resort".
It was stated that he has tried diplomacy before, time and time again. She obviously wasn't taking it seriously and was continuing to utterly disrespect her parents and family. She [I]knew[/I] she shouldn't have posted that note because if she thought her parents wouldn't mind it, she wouldn't have attempted to hide it [I]and[/I] would have made it sound a helluva lot nicer. She was absolutely spoiled with personal possessions and while yeah, life can be pretty stressful for someone her age, what she did was still absolutely wrong. If she wanted to simply "voice her opinion", she shoulda picked a different way to do it.
Her father, being fed up with the complete lack of progress in discipline and respect from her, did something absolutely incredible. He punished her in a way so shocking, so immensely out-of-this-world, that she had no choice but to pay attention and learn. Yes, it was [I]very[/I] drastic. Is he absolutely in his right to do so? [I]FUCK yes he is.[/I] That isn't her laptop, its [I]his.[/I] HE bought it, FOR her. She lives in HIS house, uses HIS internet, and feeds off of HIS resources on a day to day basis. He identified the laptop as the primary source of the trouble and since he couldn't find any other way to get her to fucking pay attention, he removed the problem permanently.
Why are some people here flipping their shit that he used a punishment method that involved something physical? I mean damn, you guys go absolutely apeshit when any parent even [I]considers[/I] a parenting method that includes much more than "Now son, stop kicking the dog, thats not nice..." or other forms of completely calm and verbal and "respectful" dialogue. Yes, they are trying diplomacy now and its [I]working.[/I] Thats GREAT. But I guarantee you that she would have NEVER gotten there had he done the usual grounding. Grounding wasn't working, its too temporary, too avoidable, too... forgettable. but shooting the fucking laptop she uses? She's [I]NEVER[/I] going to forget that. I would NOT be surprised if from this point on, she fixes her shit and grows the hell up.
Yeah, its drastic, yeah, its overboard. But guess what, she wasn't physically harmed at ALL. It forced a complete re-evaluation of her actions and on top of ALL OF THAT... it [U]WORKED.[/U]
Considering the man paid for the laptop himself with all the software on it (not to mention did all the work to set it up), it was in his right to destroy it when his daughter used it to lash out against the very person who bought it for her (and fed her, raised her, etc.).
He's already explained what he thinks about this kind of behavior too her. He just isn't as "soft" as other parents are when it comes to limitation of bullshit.
[QUOTE=Corey_Faure;34645622]Considering the man paid for the laptop himself with all the software on it (not to mention did all the work to set it up), it was in his right to destroy it when his daughter used it to lash out against the very person who bought it for her (and fed her, raised her, etc.).
He's already explained what he thinks about this kind of behavior too her. He just isn't as "soft" as other parents are when it comes to limitation of bullshit.[/QUOTE]
I do believe the phrase is... "Don't bite the hand that feeds"
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645583] It forced a complete re-evaluation of her actions and on top of ALL OF THAT... it [U]WORKED.[/U][/QUOTE]
what worked?
[quote]A: She responded to the video with “I can’t believe you shot my computer!” That was the first thing she said when she found out about it. Then we sat and we talked for quite a long while on the back patio about the things she did, the things I did in response, etc.
Later after she’d had time to process it and I’d had time to process her thoughts on the matters we discussed, we were back to a semi-truce… you know that uncomfortable moment when you’re in the kitchen with your child after an argument and you’re both waiting to see which one’s going to cave in and resume normal conversation first? Yeah, that moment. I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.[/quote]
keywords here for all you ignorant kids!
[quote]That was the first thing she said when she found out about it. [B]Then we sat and we talked for quite a long while on the back patio about the things she did, the things I did in response, etc.[/B][/quote]
look at that shit!
[quote]I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.[/quote]
look at that shit!
what the fuck did shooting her laptop do except make her go "I can’t believe you shot my computer!".
she didn't say "thanks dad i now see the error of my ways" because that doesn't fucking happen. you're not gonna teach anyone that way and you are completely deluded and out of touch if you think that is parenting.
[B]hillbilly childish punishment = 0[/B]
[B]bleeding heart liberal chat = 1[/B]
[QUOTE=ashxu;34645082]In my opinion she deserved to get punished but I think this was a bit too excessive. I think he should of done something like force her to apologize to everyone on Facebook then close the account. Then he should of taken her laptop and forced her to use the family computer or something if she needs to do anything on the computer.
my two cents.[/QUOTE]
I know people like her, and they won't learn shit from that.
authoritarian parenting is one of the least effective methods
instead of building a relationship with his daughter, the dad simply punishes her when she does something wrong, which causes her to feel the need to rebel
its an ever-escalating situation until she finally matures and has enough time away from him that they can put it behind them
sure it probably won't hurt her much, but it's still shitty parenting
[QUOTE=thisispain;34645644]what worked?
keywords here for all you ignorant kids!
look at that shit!
look at that shit!
what the fuck did shooting her laptop do except make her go "I can’t believe you shot my computer!".
she didn't say "thanks dad i now see the error of my ways" because that doesn't fucking happen. you're not gonna teach anyone that way and you are completely deluded and out of touch if you think that is parenting.
[B]hillbilly childish punishment = 0[/B]
[B]bleeding heart liberal chat = 1[/B][/QUOTE]
You have no idea if that worked, at all, she might not want to admit it right now, she might not admit it at all, and just become a better person.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645637]I do believe the phrase is... "Don't bite the hand that feeds"[/QUOTE]
Holy shit I JUST posted quote that under the video before I read this reply.
At first I expected something like that judge who walked in the room and beat his daughter, but I was pleasantly surprised.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34645644]Standard Issue Thisispain[/QUOTE]
You fail to take into account that [I]NONE[/I] of that chat would have happened had he not done what he did. His actions LED to the talks they had. Thats what I was saying, if not for his actions, as harsh as they were, this issue would still be happening.
[editline]11th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=JamesRaynor;34645699]At first I expected something like that judge who walked in the room and beat his daughter, but I was pleasantly surprised.[/QUOTE]
FUCK don't remind me. -shudders-
also public humiliation can be incredibly scarring, especially at this time in her life
she now has the entire internet and major news media looking at her story, with people calling her a "dumb bitch who had it coming", etc.
not a great way to spend high school
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34645719]also public humiliation can be incredibly scarring, especially at this time in her life
she now has the entire internet and major news media looking at her story, with people calling her a "dumb bitch who had it coming", etc.
not a great way to spend high school[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it probably was pretty scarring. But you know what? If thats the worst she has to deal with, I think she's doing pretty damn good.
[QUOTE=Intoxicated Spy;34645687]You have no idea if that worked, at all, she might not want to admit it right now, she might not admit it at all, and just become a better person.[/QUOTE]
yes i do have an idea i'm not social retarded.
this isn't the first time in the whole world someone's done something stupid to their child.
The way he phrased that made me think the whole computer shooting thing made her more willing to discuss the issue.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645701]You fail to take into account that [I]NONE[/I] of that chat would have happened had he not done what he did. His actions LED to the talks they had. Thats what I was saying, if not for his actions, as harsh as they were, this issue would still be happening.[/QUOTE]
oh that's such bullshit. yeah breaking that piece of electronics and posting it on facebook for everyone to laugh and post bullshit at only brought them together, sure.
if they are physically incapable of having a chat before breaking something and posting it somewhere then they aren't normal and the children should be placed in foster care.
maybe i had a great mom, but usually when i did something wrong we had a talk without her having to break something.
[QUOTE=iFail;34645766]The way he phrased that made me think the whole computer shooting thing made her more willing to discuss the issue.[/QUOTE]
Yes! This! Exactly!
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645741]Yeah, it probably was pretty scarring. But you know what? If thats the worst she has to deal with, I think she's doing pretty damn good.[/QUOTE]
yeah spoiled bitch, she needs to learn her lesson and find out the TRUTH about the world: that its not all fun and games!
she deserves some mental scarring to teach her a lesson! you go dad! teach her about trying to be a teenager! no child of yours will get away with posting on FACEBOOK!
right??
[QUOTE=iFail;34645766]The way he phrased that made me think the whole computer shooting thing made her more willing to discuss the issue.[/QUOTE]
look, when people post things like that on facebook it's not because they actually hate their parents.
unless your parents do something really wrong to you you're never gonna hate them.
as a teenager your relationship with your parents get strained for a variety of reasons. it's abnormal for it not to get strained.
but he didn't have to make an ass out of himself or anyone else. they just have to be willing to talk about it.
but the motherfuckers just the other day went on and on about how only punishment works and how you can't resolve it by talking. they called me an asshole when i said they were immature, but they are immature because they can't see past their own experience or hatred.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34645779]oh that's such bullshit. yeah breaking that piece of electronics and posting it on facebook for everyone to laugh and post bullshit at only brought them together, sure.
if they are physically incapable of having a chat before breaking something and posting it somewhere then they aren't normal and the children should be placed in foster care.
maybe i had a great mom, but usually when i did something wrong we had a talk without her having to break something.[/QUOTE]
They tried chats! They tried discussion, she was NOT listening. At some point it stops being solely the fault of the parent and starts ALSO being the fault of the child. She IS responsible for her actions, regardless of whatever "hillbilly" parenting she went through. If he had done the usual thing with her, she would not have listened and would have probably posted more shit about her family on her wall.
Yeah, YOU listened to your mother. She was NOT listening, and therefore he resorted to breaking her laptop. And please don't imply that you are basing "normal" off of your incredibly limited slice of experience.
my parents are mean im gonna shoot up my school and yell out their names while i do it
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645823]They tried chats! They tried discussion, she was NOT listening. At some point it stops being solely the fault of the parent and starts ALSO being the fault of the child. She IS responsible for her actions, regardless of whatever "hillbilly" parenting she went through. If he had done the usual thing with her, she would not have listened and would have probably posted more shit about her family on her wall.
Yeah, YOU listened to your mother. She was NOT listening, and therefore he resorted to breaking her laptop. And please don't imply that you are basing "normal" off of your incredibly limited slice of experience.[/QUOTE]
but it was working pretty damn well.
she apparently does a lot of chores at home, and while she may not have the job that her dad wants her to have, she seems to be coping pretty well
so she posted some obnoxious stuff on facebook, does that really mean he needs to step it up and execute DRASTIC measures to control this OUTRAGEOUS child?
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645823]They tried chats! They tried discussion, she was NOT listening. At some point it stops being solely the fault of the parent and starts ALSO being the fault of the child. She IS responsible for her actions, regardless of whatever "hillbilly" parenting she went through. If he had done the usual thing with her, she would not have listened and would have probably posted more shit about her family on her wall.[/QUOTE]
you didn't read a single word i wrote. there's no fucking fault when you are raising a child! that's your child, that's your responsibility. when they act out there's a reason that they are acting out and it's your responsibility to find out why, not to be an immature ass on facebook.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645823]Yeah, YOU listened to your mother. She was NOT listening, and therefore he resorted to breaking her laptop. And please don't imply that you are basing "normal" off of your incredibly limited slice of experience.[/QUOTE]
i didn't listen to my mother either. i've done some really bad stuff.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34645882]you didn't read a single word i wrote. there's no fucking fault when you are raising a child! that's your child, that's your responsibility. when they act out there's a reason that they are acting out and it's your responsibility to find out why, not to be an immature ass on facebook.
i didn't listen to my mother either. i've done some really bad stuff.[/QUOTE]
Are you seriously saying that her disrespect isn't her fault? That she isn't responsible for this?
Fucking REALLY?
And you say you didn't listen either. Does that mean that talking... didn't work?
[QUOTE=Atlascore;34645910]If you're mentally scarred over losing a computer you have some serious issues.[/QUOTE]
Over a computer? Not likely. Over the entire internet finding out about it? I can kinda see that.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645905]Are you seriously saying that her disrespect isn't her fault? That she isn't responsible for this?[/QUOTE]
as soon as you start playing the fault game you've broken down in a relationship.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34645905]And you say you didn't listen either. Does that mean that talking... didn't work?[/QUOTE]
talking worked because it meant i could trust my mum and i could talk to her when i felt bad about stuff.
important social rule: when people act upset about something unimportant, chances are that's not what they were upset about.
obviously his daughter felt upset about something but wasn't comfortable enough to talk to her parents about it, so she took to the internet.
a lot of people on the internet do that.
[QUOTE=Atlascore;34645910]If you're mentally scarred over losing a computer you have some serious issues.[/QUOTE]
yeah I'm sure that's the issue here and it has nothing to due with the very new and generally misunderstood effects of starring in a viral video
[QUOTE=thisispain;34645929]as soon as you start playing the fault game you've broken down in a relationship.
talking worked because it meant i could trust my mum and i could talk to her when i felt bad about stuff.
important social rule: when people act upset about something unimportant, chances are that's not what they were upset about.
obviously his daughter felt upset about something but wasn't comfortable enough to talk to her parents about it, so she took to the internet.
a lot of people on the internet do that.[/QUOTE]
As soon as you start implying that she is completely devoid of fault, you've lost the battle with her anyway.
People have to take responsibility for their actions, regardless of what motivated them to do said action. Her parents didn't force her to post that, she chose to post it. Yeah, she was angry, and I can see where her anger is coming from as I've been in her position before. But the method she took was absolutely wrong in every way. She used her parents resources to post something absolutely hurtful and only did so on facebook because she thought she could get away with it with their stellar privacy settings.
[quote]important social rule: when people act upset about something unimportant, chances are that's not what they were upset about.[/quote] Don't I know it.
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34646017]As soon as you start implying that she is completely devoid of fault, you've lost the battle with her anyway.[/QUOTE]
uh there's no battle.
this isn't a fucking war dude
[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;34646017]People have to take responsibility for their actions, regardless of what motivated them to do said action. Her parents didn't force her to post that, she chose to post it. Yeah, she was angry, and I can see where her anger is coming from as I've been in her position before. But the method she took was absolutely wrong in every way. She used her parents resources to post something absolutely hurtful and only did so on facebook because she thought she could get away with it with their stellar privacy settings.
[/QUOTE]
i'm sorry, are we assuming that the reasoning isn't important to determine the just response?
i don't see what that has to do with the fact that obviously talking worked. they've strengthened their relationship just a bit.
all shooting her laptop did is make her lose some personal stuff and make a funny but painful anecdote to tell in the future.
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