Afghan Army To Receive Lessons in American Cultural Ignorance - Polidicks

[QUOTE=Ardosos;37851749]If you wipe properly there shouldn't be any remnant poop.[/QUOTE] You can wipe as long as you want, the moment you apply even the tiniest amount of force, there'll be shit smears on the toilet paper. There isn't really any "proper" (proper being leaving your asshole clean) way of wiping your ass. You guys just wipe softly until no marks show. Maybe I'm just not used to it, but I can be wiping for a good ten minutes and still see smears.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37851767]You can wipe as long as you want, the moment you apply even the tiniest amount of force, there'll be shit smears on the toilet paper. There isn't really any "proper" (proper being leaving your asshole clean) way of wiping your ass. You guys just wipe softly until no marks show. Maybe I'm just not used to it, but I can be wiping for a good ten minutes and still see smears.[/QUOTE] It could also have something to do with diet, giving you a different consistency of poop compared to that of people who live in traditionally wiping cultures.

[QUOTE=0FucksGiven;37851707]Or you could use a fuckin wet wipe or somethin[/QUOTE] Wet wipes are great if you're using toilet paper. But using wet wipes from the get-go will just leave a horrid mess. You'll get shit everywhere. So yeah, you're right. What I used to do when I was at school would just be to use toilet paper, then finish off with wet wipes. [editline]30th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Ardosos;37851783]It could also have something to do with diet, giving you a different consistency of poop compared to that of people who live in traditionally wiping cultures.[/QUOTE] Where do you think I'm from? :v: I've lived 16 years out of my 19 in England! And foods in Middle-Eastern countries are a lot more packed with fibre. Rice, vegetables, fruits. Things are also cooked fresh in Middle-Eastern countries, not too many families go to the shops and buy pre-made meals. So really, we should find it easier to wipe, since our stools would be more solid and leave less of a goopy mess.

This thread is now about wiping your ass

[QUOTE=loopoo;37851786]Where do you think I'm from? :v: I've lived 16 years out of my 19 in England! And foods in Middle-Eastern countries are a lot more packed with fibre. Rice, vegetables, fruits. Things are also cooked fresh in Middle-Eastern countries, not too many families go to the shops and buy pre-made meals. So really, we should find it easier to wipe, since our stools would be more solid and leave less of a goopy mess.[/QUOTE] They wipe in England? I thought most of europe used that water-squirter-thingy, bidet I think it's called?

[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37851716]Wait, showering without clothes is considered bad there? How the fuck do you clean your body if it's covered by your clothes?[/QUOTE] It's not the act of showering without your clothes on, it's more to do with the fact that you're openly showing your nudity in front of others (which is frowned upon, as you're supposed to protect your modesty). In Arab countries, bathrooms tend to have separate cubicles, so men can shower in privacy. If there aren't cubicles, you'll usually just wash with your underwear on, or - as is normally the case - you'll keep your swimming trunks on (as showering in public only really tends to happen at swimming pools). [editline]30th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Ardosos;37851822]They wipe in England? I thought most of europe used that water-squirter-thingy, bidet I think it's called?[/QUOTE] Course they wipe in England! :v: And bidets are rare nowadays. A few families use them, but not many. Wiping is the normal way of doing it here. In the Middle-East, people install water-sprayers into the bathrooms, so you can just use that without having to touch with your left hand. Just spray the water and you'll be left clean (with a gleaming, smooth-as-silk asshole). One of these things: [QUOTE][IMG]http://www.aldanube.com/uploadfiles/images/shataf_chrissss_M.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=loopoo;37851826]Course they wipe in England! :v: And bidets are rare nowadays. A few families use them, but not many. Wiping is the normal way of doing it here. In the Middle-East, people install water-sprayers into the bathrooms, so you can just use that without having to touch with your left hand. Just spray the water and you'll be left clean (with a gleaming, smooth-as-silk asshole). One of these things:[/QUOTE] Huh, you learn something new every day I guess.

[QUOTE=Marbalo;37851902]Wet baby towels. Ive been using them all my life.[/QUOTE] I've just been using wet babies.

[QUOTE=DinoJesus;37851958]I've just been using wet babies.[/QUOTE] Eh, they're already covered in excrement anyway

The guide forgot to mention "That's what she said" jokes. [editline]29th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=DinoJesus;37851958]I've just been using wet babies.[/QUOTE] I suppose that isn't any worse than this- [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT8BqJ0nLYQ&list=FLbZFFG_WKtqsYeZA3xXYAhw&index=66&feature=plpp_video[/media] Imagine how offensive that would be.

Yeah because cultural differences is why Green on Blue attacks happen... or maybe its because the people feel like they're occupied. Christ are people so in denial that they can't accept that people don't like the US occupation.

[QUOTE=Marbalo;37851902]Wet baby towels. Ive been using them all my life.[/QUOTE] Moist ass. Do your buttcheeks squeek when you walk around?

[QUOTE=ScottyWired;37842182]Probably something to do with dirt, just the same that it is offensive to them if you eat with your left hand (ass wiping hand).[/QUOTE] My ass wiping hand is right, does that mean if I eat with right hand I offend them?

I really have to say the reasoning & rationality seems a bit off. Maybe the recruitment process is too easy or open, or something, because 32+ this year so far, including many additional casualties, is too many to blame on 'cultural accidents'..

[QUOTE=Elecbullet;37850943]What fucking non-southpaw has the dexterity to wipe with their left hand?[/QUOTE] I wipe with my left hand :v: But that's because I'm left handed as well. I eat with my left hand

[QUOTE=Profanwolf;37842541]I'm pretty sure if someone offended a NATO/US Soldier to the same degree, the same thing might have happened.[/QUOTE] there are some horrible ass leaders, but usually they only get "fragged" when they actually endanger the life of the troops that they're leading. It's rarely over something trivial.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37851767]You guys just wipe softly until no marks show. [/QUOTE] How the fuck do you know? Sounds like you just have a problem which we don't. Trust me, I don't ever leave the bathroom without my asshole being 99% clean.

In the Philippines, we call the the instrument you use to manually wipe your ass, the Tabo. My grandmother used to wipe my asshole with her bare hands when I was younger. I don't remember too much, but I always knew I'd leave the bathroom with a squeaky clean ass. The more you know, the better, yeah?

[QUOTE=Strider*;37860808]How the fuck do you know? Sounds like you just have a problem which we don't. Trust me, I don't ever leave the bathroom without my asshole being 99% clean.[/QUOTE] The times I've had to wipe, I go through so much toilet paper and can't seem to get those remaining streaks to go away. Every time I wipe, the tissue will come back slightly brown. I guess my technique sucks. I always worry I'll clog the toilet or something cause of how much paper I use.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37862267]The times I've had to wipe, I go through so much toilet paper and can't seem to get those remaining streaks to go away. Every time I wipe, the tissue will come back slightly brown. I guess my technique sucks. I always worry I'll clog the toilet or something cause of how much paper I use.[/QUOTE] You're supposed to flush multiple times, as necessary. Did you wipe standing up or sitting down, somebody once told me that makes a difference. [editline]e[/editline] Also did you wipe with the grain or against the grain?

[QUOTE=loopoo;37851826][img]http://www.aldanube.com/uploadfiles/images/shataf_chrissss_M.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] Call me conservative, but that thing I'd want as far away from my ass as possible. It confuses me. Although, what in the living fuck this thread degraded too?! It's hard to think a thread about military and culture can be somehow linked to asswiping, but it indeed is. Something new everyday.

bidets

[QUOTE=loopoo;37851767]You can wipe as long as you want, the moment you apply even the tiniest amount of force, there'll be shit smears on the toilet paper. There isn't really any "proper" (proper being leaving your asshole clean) way of wiping your ass. You guys just wipe softly until no marks show. Maybe I'm just not used to it, but I can be wiping for a good ten minutes and still see smears.[/QUOTE] One or two wipes for me and my ass is clean, no "smears" idk what kind of shits you take

talking about how to wipe your ass with "loopoo"

[QUOTE=lifehole;37866503]talking about how to wipe your ass with "loopoo"[/QUOTE] I should get a slot on prime time TV! [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=gudman;37865203]Call me conservative, but that thing I'd want as far away from my ass as possible. It confuses me.[/QUOTE] It's literally a water hose. Albeit the picture cuts the bottom bit off, it's fairly simple to see it's a water hose. Water comes in through the bottom pipe, that bumpy bit is the handle. You squeeze that, water comes out. You squeeze softly, water comes out with a little pressure, you squeeze hard, a lot of pressure. Top rounded bit is the nozzle. Aim at anus. [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] "Pressure Washing Your Anus 101"

I would've thought the best way would be to spray water and then wipe/dry with toilet paper, otherwise you'd have either wet underwear or a towel covered with shit.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37866653]I should get a slot on prime time TV! [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] It's literally a water hose. Albeit the picture cuts the bottom bit off, it's fairly simple to see it's a water hose. Water comes in through the bottom pipe, that bumpy bit is the handle. You squeeze that, water comes out. You squeeze softly, water comes out with a little pressure, you squeeze hard, a lot of pressure. Top rounded bit is the nozzle. Aim at anus. [editline]1st October 2012[/editline] "Pressure Washing Your Anus 101"[/QUOTE] Well... While I am indeed a Russian, yes, I still know what it is. Quite a surprise. Here's the part that confuses me. [quote]Aim at anus.[/quote] Things that are supposed to be aimed at anus scare me.

[QUOTE=Faren;37866789]I would've thought the best way would be to spray water and then wipe/dry with toilet paper, otherwise you'd have either wet underwear or a towel covered with shit.[/QUOTE] That's how we do it. Spray, then wipe with toilet to dry up.

[QUOTE=loopoo;37873516]That's how we do it. Spray, then wipe with toilet to dry up.[/QUOTE] Must be difficult lifting the toilet up there

[QUOTE=Scotchair;37842296]In Buddhism your feet are the lowliest, dirtiest and "unholy" part of your body and it's extremely rude to point them in the direction of somebody, or a religious icon. Sounds like it's the same deal here.[/QUOTE] Feet can be kept clean as well. Also, isn't it offensive to point your ass in the direction of somebody as well? Or wait, that's probably considered universally offensive.