• Porn and video game addiction are leading to 'masculinity crisis', says Stanford prison experiment p
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[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703549]Eeeeh. Who didn't let you smile, my friend?[/QUOTE] [B]THAT[/B] [B][U]THAT RIGHT THERE[/U][/B] You're talking negatively to someone like having emotions is a bad thing.
[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;47703555]To show any emotion comes under a variety of different forms. Is it wrong for you to be distraught when your father is dying? Visibly distraught? [B]I've been told that, yes, just because my dad's dying, I don't have any right to feel or look sad.[/B] Keeping your emotions in control so you don't hurt people is far different than showing them in my opinion.[/QUOTE] i'm sorry for your loss but whoever this person(s) is they're fucking weird
[QUOTE=bdd458;47703546]Please explain to me how a man, who took time off from playing sports to be a fucking father and then gets ridiculed for it, is not harmful? Everything else you said isn't even worth responding to, but please, explain to me how that isn't harmful.[/QUOTE] I don't know the exact story. But I will answer. Do you expect that all the people who lost their money (that they probably feed their families with) to be happy? Oh how cute, he loves his son. Let's starve. I am sure that guy spoiled a lot of peoples plans, so they are angry. Naturally. However society ironiacly expects man to ignore such ramblings and others will admire his ability to choose what he needs despite people being pissed and angry. For example you admire this man, I admire him. Society is not a solid rock, it consists of different groups. Some people ridicule that guy, some respect him. Its not harmful, it's normal.
[QUOTE=TheWhiteFox1;47703537]i hate to be "that guy" but that sounds like a slippery slope if i've ever heard one. i don't have any judgements against men (or people at all for that matter) that might be a bit more lose with their emotions than others, but not having control of emotions is a negative trait in both genders.[/QUOTE] Control of emotions =/= emotions. I'm seeing the argument being made that not only do men have to control their emotions, they have to suppress them. That's a message that has been beaten(literally) into me over my lifetime. It's a prevalent message.
[QUOTE=itisjuly;47703293]And there's nothing bad there [editline]11th May 2015[/editline] Whoa that's the view of your society? I'm not american but this is the first time I hear this[/QUOTE] I'm American and those sportscasters are cunts. If they believe a fucking sport is more important than being a good father for your family, then they can both eat a bag of dicks.
within 50 years, i would not be surprised if the vast majority of the population gets >80% of their social interaction through the internet/games. whether or not that is a bad thing is impossible to determine, as "bad" is subjective to the society looking at it.
[QUOTE=Take_Opal;47703558]It likely isn't really all that different between people, you see. I'm sure you had a lot more invested in your first example of rejection, the second time it seems you didn't. Sure you didn't care as much, you knew what it was like, but it's never just one thing and I'm sure both relationships were complexly unique.[/QUOTE] If anything I was a lot more invested in the last one. But I know that was not the last ever relationship and I will find another someday. This makes me not feel nearly as sad.
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703549] I am failing to get where you are getting the "men are expected to be emotionless robots" idea. [/QUOTE] lol, this post does not come as a shock from you.
I beg to differ: some videogames characters indeed help me exercise my masculinity With the door to my room locked, preferably
[QUOTE=TheWhiteFox1;47703566]i'm sorry for your loss but whoever this person(s) is they're fucking weird[/QUOTE] It was my boss. He said he was sorry I was going through that, but that's no excuse to be sad at work. He's not the only one. And i'm not weeping, or crying. I just have one of those permanent scowls now.
[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;47703555]To show any emotion comes under a variety of different forms. Is it wrong for you to be distraught when your father is dying? Visibly distraught? I've been told that, yes, just because my dad's dying, I don't have any right to feel or look sad. Keeping your emotions in control so you don't hurt people is far different than showing them in my opinion.[/QUOTE] I am sorry for your personal problem but now I see where you are coming from. I doubt you were told that you have no right or look sad is a problem of the whole society. Mostly of people that told you that. On a whole emotions are not banned or anything.
[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;47703586]I just have one of those permanent scowls now.[/QUOTE] I think perfectly warranted, fuck those people.
[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;47703555] Keeping your emotions in control so you don't hurt people is far different than showing them in my opinion.[/QUOTE] Anyone trying to contain your emotions for their sake is not someone you should be catering to. I'm sorry anyone even considered to think that they had the right to tell you not to feel sad about your Father's circumstances.
[QUOTE=Impact1986;47703257]How many gamers actually play that amount every day?[/QUOTE] well, I only managed an average of 7 hours per day for the past two weeks but the rest is basically spent doing game related things like watching lets plays or being on FP I only really do it because it makes time pass faster and keeps me from thinking about the rest of my life. Other than this, my only real option is to go back to sleep. really just waiting until I die of natural causes
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703591]I am sorry for your personal problem but now I see where you are coming from. I doubt you were told that you have no right or look sad is a problem of the whole society. Mostly of people that told you that. On a whole emotions are not banned or anything.[/QUOTE] I think you have already in this conversation exercise judgement based on a man showing emotions. That's kind of what I want to get rid of because it's bullshit.
[QUOTE=bdd458;47703561]Also, you want an example Zerg? Here's a study about male children in the US and Sports Programming, advertising surrounding sports programing, and their effects on male children. [url]http://library.la84.org/9arr/ResearchReports/boystomen.pdf[/url] This paragraph from the conclusion is extremely important.[/QUOTE] Well, because it's from sports media. What do you expect a sportsman to be? Passive world-loving buddist monk? A sportsman need to be fearless, strong, tough, aggressive (in most sports) and motivated to win. So sports media forges it out of him. It's beneficial for sport people. Make such a study on business media and you will find the complete oposite.
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703567]I don't know the exact story. But I will answer. Do you expect that all the people who lost their money (that they probably feed their families with) to be happy? Oh how cute, he loves his son. Let's starve. I am sure that guy spoiled a lot of peoples plans, so they are angry. Naturally. However society ironiacly expects man to ignore such ramblings and others will admire his ability to choose what he needs despite people being pissed and angry. For example you admire this man, I admire him. Society is not a solid rock, it consists of different groups. Some people ridicule that guy, some respect him. Its not harmful, it's normal.[/QUOTE] I gave the whole story up there, I even linked the fucking video. Baseball player goes to take his 3 days of leave off since his wife was having their child, misses a couple games because of it, and the sports casters ridiculed him because he dared to be a father above playing a sport. [B]ONE OF THEM FUCKING SAID THE WIFE SHOULD HAVE HAD A C-SECTION BEFORE THE SEASON SO THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED[/B]. Like, that's harmful to both men AND women. Gender roles don't exist within their respective gender's vacuum, they encompass both men and women and have long lasting effects on both. And on the large, within American society men are expected to surpress their emotions and "man up". It's the entire premise of the recent documentary "The Mask You Live In" which explores how these stereotypes about boys and men are harmful to male children growing up. [video=youtube;hc45-ptHMxo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc45-ptHMxo[/video]
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703567]I don't know the exact story. But I will answer. Do you expect that all the people who lost their money (that they probably feed their families with) to be happy? Oh how cute, he loves his son. Let's starve. I am sure that guy spoiled a lot of peoples plans, so they are angry. Naturally. .[/QUOTE] I am sure that a MLB baseball team is unable to play without one person on their team and are liable to starve if they miss a single game.
[QUOTE=mentalmoustache;47703600]well, I only managed an average of 7 hours per day for the past two weeks but the rest is basically spent doing game related things like watching lets plays or being on FP [B]I only really do it because it makes time pass faster and keeps me from thinking about the rest of my life.[/B] Other than this, my only real option is to go back to sleep.[/QUOTE] this is the problem regarding gaming "addiction" that the article is trying to make.
society's current view on masculinity, the "SUPPRESS EMOTIONS EXCEPT ANGER", is unhealthy, but i think it may be on its way out the door.
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703618]Well, because it's from sports media. What do you expect a sportsman to be? Passive world-loving buddist monk? A sportsman need to be fearless, strong, tough, aggressive (in most sports) and motivated to win. So sports media forges it out of him. It's beneficial for sport people. Make such a study on business media and you will find the complete oposite.[/QUOTE] so you agree that there is a bias in some cases?
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703618]Well, because it's from sports media. What do you expect a sportsman to be? Passive world-loving buddist monk? A sportsman need to be fearless, strong, tough, aggressive (in most sports) and motivated to win. So sports media forges it out of him. It's beneficial for sport people. Make such a study on business media and you will find the complete oposite.[/QUOTE] No. Why do sports need one to be all of those things to win? Isn't just being a better player, being smarter and just straight up better, going to be a better method than being an aggressive emotionless creature? Why should we want men to become that? Business isn't a nicer place to be a man. Being a man in business doesn't give you any more leeway to spend time with your children, you're still going to have issues doing this. Of course there's exceptions but the average business owner who has to work every day of the week to maintain their business is not spending nearly enough time with their kids.
[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;47703607]I think you have already in this conversation exercise judgement based on a man showing emotions. That's kind of what I want to get rid of because it's bullshit.[/QUOTE] I think I told you like 5 times that every person is expected to have control of their emotions, regardless of age, gender, sex orientation, anything. Men are not expected to have no emotions at all, get that out of your head. Just take a look at a local shiny star kind of guy. Maybe the most admired guy in the office or the most admired guy of class. I bet he is emotional as hell. But most likley he never looses his shit. So he has emotions and he has control. That's my point. Just showing emotions is not prohibited, at least not by wide standards. And fuck the people that told you that you can't be sad.
you are probably more likely to get less sympathy as a man for taking time off to spend with your kids in business than you are in sports
[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;47703639]No. Why do sports need one to be all of those things to win? Isn't just being a better player, being smarter and just straight up better, going to be a better method than being an aggressive emotionless creature? Why should we want men to become that? Business isn't a nicer place to be a man. Being a man in business doesn't give you any more leeway to spend time with your children, you're still going to have issues doing this. Of course there's exceptions but the average business owner who has to work every day of the week to maintain their business is not spending nearly enough time with their kids.[/QUOTE] Sorry for breaking your carebear fantasy. But world is harsh, especially sport world. And you need to have a mind prepared for that. Why people choose sport careers? Ask them. I would say some just love it (and love that mindset), some want the incredible cash some sportsmen get, some want recognition. A man should become what he wants. Emotionless brutal sportsman included. Like, no one is preventing you from being happy without that mindset, without being a sportsman. But that doesnt mean all others should be like you.
[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;47703651]you are probably more likely to get less sympathy as a man for taking time off to spend with your kids in business than you are in sports[/QUOTE] I can verify this with several anecdotes from several family members who all have their own families and businesses and all struggle to get time with their kids away from business. You're not given sympathy for such things in my experience.
[QUOTE=Chief Martini;47703214]There's going to be a lot of us claiming he's wrong but recall two things: 1. A lot of us are pretty biased, myself included; 2. This guy's got a PhD in Psychology and has been for a long time-- he knows his stuff, so let's not disregard it too easily.[/QUOTE] 1. He's biased too, we're all biased, we're human. 2. So, a PhD doesn't just make everything you say instantly correct? And a study doesn't 100% prove anything other than a study was done.
[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;47703643]I think I told you like 5 times that every person is expected to have control of their emotions, regardless of age, gender, sex orientation, anything. Men are not expected to have no emotions at all, get that out of your head. Just take a look at a local shiny star kind of guy. Maybe the most admired guy in the office or the most admired guy of class. I bet he is emotional as hell. But most likley he never looses his shit. So he has emotions and he has control. That's my point. Just showing emotions is not prohibited, at least not by wide standards. And fuck the people that told you that you can't be sad.[/QUOTE] They are expected to control their emotions to the point where they don't readily show any emotions except for whatever the social cue calls for. That seems the same as suppressing it.
[QUOTE=Gwoodman;47703524]nothing on playing porn games, phew i'm scot free[/QUOTE] both at once you're saving time
[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;47703625]society's current view on masculinity, the "SUPPRESS EMOTIONS EXCEPT ANGER", is unhealthy, but i think it may be on its way out the door.[/QUOTE] I don't know where you live. I live in Russia where the society is pretty partiarchic and all men are expect to be masculine. But even here not suppressing anger will make you isolated in days. And showing your gratitude to people and showing good feelings will make people like you. Naturally.
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