Does this technically make you immune to heart diseases?
Doctor:
Hmm very peculiar, we can't read your pulse at all, even using my stethoscope. Yet you appear to be alive!
[B][I]My...[/I][/B]
[img]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070903133340/uncyclopedia/images/0/09/JCDenton.jpg[/img]
[B][I]...circulatory system is augmented.[/I][/B]
Well I guess people have to change the joke "Oh (person's name)? He'll have sex with anything that has a pulse."
Oh Garry? He'll have sex with anything that has [i]or doesn't have[/i] a pulse.
[QUOTE=gamerman345;30471300]Does this technically make you immune to heart diseases?[/QUOTE]
Seeing as you no longer have a heart, yes
Pretty sure if someone has one of these, they'll be wearing some kind of medical tag or wristband to indicate they have no a pulse, and they'll probably have a tatoo on their chest too.
So in a case of danger or fear, your heart won't pump any faster!
That might fuck up with your psyche or something!
Wouldn't help with cleaning arteries as you can't reverse blood flow.
Not sure how well it would work with CPR, as it would probably wouldn't compress to well.
[QUOTE=Rubs10;30466859]And a bionic hand. Or at least some fingers.[/QUOTE]
Groovy.
[IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/2m498pd.jpg[/IMG]
I'm calling it right now, this is going to be in a bad action movie/crime drama TV show and or CoD game.
[i]Quick Ramtavish, jump out of this exploding plane onto the statue of liberty and then use the heartbeat monitor on your XM5-50 DarkOps Assault Rifle to find that sonnova bitch.. what?! He's nowhere to be found! Guhuhuh you fools I have a beatless mechnical heart![/i]
*Nuclear explosion*
I would be first in line to get one of these for the express purpose of freaking the fuck out of my family. :v:
[QUOTE=GrabbinPills;30463239]i have a feeling this could solve heart attacks due to clogged arteries. just push it forward, then pull it back, then forward, then back, until it splits into dozens of tiny pieces.[/QUOTE]
And then all those tiny little pieces go throughout the body until they get stuck in capillaries.
Immortality, now we need a brain that doesn't get old.
You'd have to have a card in your Wallet saying that you shouldn't have a pulse.
This is amazing. I'd have one of those if I could!
Practical jokes ahoy! :devil:
Stubbs did it.
[img_thumb]http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2009/06/Smoking%20Is%20Cool/ART/Finished/stubbs-the-zombie--article_image.jpg[/img_thumb]
[QUOTE=Zet;30464777]If you have sex with someone who has one of those, is it considered necrophilia?[/QUOTE]
Dunno but the thought of it makes my blood pump :v:
This is fantastic news! Now also have it dispense occasionally a fluid that breaks up cholesterol.
Its augmented ninjas time!
I can see it now... People faking death and then WHAM! KNIFE TO THE FACE!
They never asked for it.
Oh fuck, there goes my EMT-B protocols...
Can I get a replacement please?
I'm sure some poor fellow can have my heart.
I want one of these just so I can feel closer to being a cyborg. And it sounds like it works better than a real heart anyways.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;30462815]Dick Cheney didn't have a pulse in the first place[/QUOTE]
That was great.
I deeply respect you for that.
[QUOTE=Foogooman;30482545]I want one of these just so I can feel closer to being a cyborg. And it sounds like it works better than a real heart anyways.[/QUOTE]
Except if the battery dies you're fucked.
I would seriously freak out if I had a machine inside me. It'd be too weird..
May I have a source please to show how awesome science is progressing.
[editline]15th June 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=nick10510;30483621]I would seriously freak out if I had a machine inside me. It'd be too weird..[/QUOTE] I bet its feels better then death.
Cyborg Vampire... Vampsci.
I wonder if a continuous blood flow will affect anything else compared to a pulsing blood flow
Maybe it could be more efficient in delivering oxygen and nutrients?
What about getting an erection? Insta-erection because of the continuous flow? :smug:
Best anti-vampire tool of all time. Van Helsing should have one of these things, the flitty bastards would never touch him.
Well, how the hell are you supposed to change your heart rate when you need to?
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