[QUOTE=.Isak.;41807361]
holy fuck again adderall stop going all stream-of-consciousness on me i have stuff to do hngg[/QUOTE]
Seriously. Stop talking about your Adderall. I've seen you post it multiple times. Good for you, but it really just makes you seem like you want attention.
Real life you can't block out and not everyone is equal. On the internet you can block out what you want by just going somewhere else. On the internet outside of social networking, everyone is usually equal. My opinion holds just as much weight as yours. That's the great thing about being anonymous(Unless of course, you reveal who you are, and if you do it is solely on you.) The internet is an amazing place, if you can handle it.
Don't think I don't understand with where you are coming from with depression. I've been depressed before, and it can be some truly difficult shit. But if you can't handle your shit in real life, you can't handle your shit on the internet, which is a much more brutal place.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;41807182]I understand it if someone is being constantly harassed and followed by people online or offline, but stray insults, and even direct flaming really should not be taken to heart, especially from anonymous people. If people do take everything people say on the internet personally, well tough luck honestly. Things aren't going to change. People will be dicks, and have always been.[/QUOTE]
Stray insults are rarely an issue, except in cases of the absolute most emotionally fragile people alive. At that point, they're unlikely to be online or in school or doing much at all because of their depression. Most internet users who socialize online outside of facebook, in places where anonymity is preserved, are totally unfazed by stray insults. Non-targeted curse words are the norm, and even most insults directed at people aren't seen as super insulting, and carry far less weight than in real life. They still can sting when depressed. Somebody throwing a "dumbfuck" at you while playing TF2 can take you off-guard and bring your mind back to thinking about yourself, which makes the depression worse.
Direct flaming is a serious issue. If you do that in real life to a random person or somebody you know, you face assault charges and punishment. I agree that it shouldn't be taken to heart, but it's not something that you can easily control when depressed. Every little bit is negative emotional feedback, and it can absolutely push people over the edge.
Honestly, I'd get a thousand times more insulted if somebody I knew called me a dumbfuck. I'd feel like shit if any friend of mine said that in a serious way. If they're joking, which is usually pretty obvious in real life, it's all good and I don't even think about it. Sarcasm and jokes online are hard to catch and so ambiguous, so it's hard to tell if insults are jokes or actual insults. "haha, dumbfuck fell off the cliff :v" is pretty playful. "dumbfuck fell off the cliff" is a lot more ambiguous and you can't tell if it's calling you a dumbfuck as an insult or just as playful game banter. Communication is an issue.
Anyways, holy fuck, I need to stop writing and go do stuff it's 2am. I used to be one of the people that would constantly verbally abuse people online a couple years ago. I was a member of a gmod community and I got banned like 6 times for being a dick. I held the same positions as most of you - just toughen up and deal with it. I have some perspective now, and I try my utmost to be nicer, even if I want to shout abuses in frustration. It's not easy to see how serious verbal abuse and bullying online can be when you've never experienced it while depressed and contemplating suicide and lamenting on how worthless you are. It's nowhere near as damaging as hearing it in real life, but the sheer volume of abuse that is handed out like candy online can fuck up an emotionally-unstable depressed kid incredibly easily.
Basically, no matter if you think cyberbullying is real or not, be nice to people online.
There's never a good enough reason to verbally abuse somebody else. It doesn't matter if they're bad at the video game, getting angry at them will just make you angrier and them angrier. If you help them and teach them, guess what, you feel accomplished and they learn something and everybody feels a little bit better. It doesn't matter if you disagree with their opinions - politely ask them why they hold those opinions, and feel free to share your opinions. There's no good reason to expect people to put up with you being a jackass, in real life or online. You're inevitably going to hurt somebody, and you'll only make yourself angrier.
[editline]12th August 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Chernobyl426;41807440]Seriously. Stop talking about your Adderall. I've seen you post it multiple times. Good for you, but it really just makes you seem like you want attention.
Real life you can't block out and not everyone is equal. On the internet you can block out what you want by just going somewhere else. On the internet outside of social networking, everyone is usually equal. My opinion holds just as much weight as yours. That's the great thing about being anonymous(Unless of course, you reveal who you are, and if you do it is solely on you.) The internet is an amazing place, if you can handle it.
Don't think I don't understand with where you are coming from with depression. I've been depressed before, and it can be some truly difficult shit. But if you can't handle your shit in real life, you can't handle your shit on the internet, which is a much more brutal place.[/QUOTE]
sorry I just get shocked at how much I write. there's nothing to brag about there anyways, it's prescription.
Sure, the internet is amazing. Sure, you can block people out. And sure, there are always assholes, in real life and online. The difference between the two is that you have no idea who you're talking to and there are next to no social ramifications for being abusive, entirely because of your anonymous status. You might get banned from Facepunch for a day, but, like you said, there's other places to go - it's not like being jailed for assault.
I absolutely agree about depression. I just know, from experience, that kids will go on the internet if they don't want to deal with real life for any reason (like depression or abuse or bullying or etc). For a lot of people, myself included, it's a place where I can vent all my problems anonymously without paying for therapists or worrying friends and family. It's got some great therapeutic effects on stressed-out kids - they can find friends online who won't bully and abuse and laugh at them for their physical appearance or their grades or any other aspect of their real lives. Anonymity is a gift and a curse for depressed kids.
I'd just love to see people recognize what they're saying sometimes. Hell, I've caught myself being incredibly verbally abusive in a frustrating round of Dota 2, and when I did, I just profusely apologized and cited adrenaline and frustration as the reason for my insults. It's easy to forget you're with other people when you're online.
I'm not trying to say that you should treat the internet like a field of landmines and constantly watch what you say, I'm just trying to say that verbal abuse is never, ever necessary. I slip up all the time. Hell, on a thread about Syrian refugees like a day ago I was being a dick to somebody who didn't share my opinions. It's fine to say shit, and yeah, you actually can say absolutely whatever you want, but every now and then you should apologize. It feels good to do and it feels good to receive it. I had a rude guy in a Dota match and halfway through he started apologizing to everybody on his team out of the blue, and it made my day.
Like I've said - just be as nice as you can to people. The only things people really get abusive about online are video games and opinions. Either apologize when you realize how vile and excessively personal your insults have been, or just don't verbally abuse people at all. Playful banter? Cool. Non-directed curses? Great.
Just play/debate nice and apologize if you insult. If people did that, cyberbullying would be almost a non-issue outside of explicitly targeted people, everybody would feel better, and the internet wouldn't have this reputation as being harsh and scary and only for the tough-skinned.
[QUOTE=.Isak.;41807453]
Just play/debate nice and apologize if you insult. If people did that, cyberbullying would be almost a non-issue outside of explicitly targeted people, everybody would feel better, and the internet wouldn't have this reputation as being harsh and scary and only for the tough-skinned.[/QUOTE]
I personally try to be as respectful and polite as possible, but I don't hold others to the same expectations. It is the internet after all, and we both know nothing is going to change it.
if only 20% of kids are being called 'faggots' or 'dick fiends', then that's very strange and I don't know what internet they're using
[QUOTE=draugur;41804579]Cry about it. What is this block/ignore/report button and what does it do?[/QUOTE]
Or maybe these kids want to defend themselves so they keep visiting the site and keep getting bullied. Words still hurt even after blocking people.
.Isak. has the idea behind this on lock, good job man.
Everyone should read into his posts, because as a whole we/facepunch still think of cyber-bullying as less of a threat than it can be.
If they counted the bullying and insults from playing online games (like cod) this would probably jump up to 4/5 children.
Well I don't know what plans are in place towards stopping or at least minimize this, whether its going to be apart of some law all sites are going to have to have better anti bullying things in place or whether its just going to be major social sites like Facebook.
Because I hardly see it being an infringement of my freedom of speech, just a load of cunts whining that they cant be cunts anymore on the internet, awwwww poor you.
[QUOTE=tr00per7;41807893]Well I don't know what plans are in place towards stopping or at least minimize this, whether its going to be apart of some law all sites are going to have to have better anti bullying things in place or whether its just going to be major social sites like Facebook.
Because I hardly see it being an infringement of my freedom of speech, just a load of cunts whining that they cant be cunts anymore on the internet, awwwww poor you.[/QUOTE]
That's the difference. In real life, a lot of the stuff people say on the internet could be considered assault. Hell, in real life, if you go up to somebody and tell them a typical line from an internet debate thread and refuse to stop, you really could get arrested for assault, even if you didn't lay a finger on them. Online, rarely any punishment.
There's ways to alleviate it, but stopping it is a lot harder than stopping bullies in school - and that's still a problem.
I think a lot of people just hear the word "bully" and immediately think of schoolyard bullies stealing lunch money. "Cyberbully" sounds dumber still. It makes you think of a six-year-old yelling "STUPID FACE" and pushing you in the sandbox. It's not that, it's direct verbal abuse.
It's an actual issue, and the 4,500 kids who kill themselves over it every year aren't just doing it for attention. It's shameful that so much of the internet thinks it doesn't exist. The internet is such a gigantic part of our lives that "just turn it off" is impossible. That's the equivalent to saying "just don't go to school if you're getting bullied there." It doesn't solve a thing.
I'm also curious as to why a parent doesn't just keep their kid off the computer. It's partially parenting that has kids feeling like nobody cares.
It really depends on how you define bullying. I mean [B]really[/B] depends.
I got bullied a few time online but these people live in other countries so i just tell them to fuck off or I reply things like thank you :D or even I insult myself with them so they have nothing to say then they just get out.
I am kind of a nonchalant guy, someone could bully me outside and I may start laughing at him.
I always laugh at people talking shit about me over the internet.
[quote]But the internet is not one place. You have places like facebook, where mostly everyone you talk to there you would know in real life, and you have places like facepunch and reddit, where everyone is essentially anonymous. The claim that the internet is a big part of our lives, and therefore should be tamed for the sake of the few is inaccurate. I can only think of a few cases where you would NEED the internet and interact with people at the same time: E-mail for official stuff, possibly facebook for friends/collegues, and youtube to stay with trends.[/quote]
This isn't true. If someone really has it out for you - cyber-stalking, cyber-bullying - then it's very easy to tie accounts together.
I use to hang out on a TF2 /v/ imageboard, and we had one guy who use to do "internet detective" work on individuals he didn't like. He could dig up anything with enough time - YouTube, deviantART, old drawings, fetish shit, webcam shots, Facebook accounts, etc. This is extremely embarrassing for people who leave an opening between their personal life and their online life. In one case, a friend of mine was outed as a former 4chan camgirl because of a mole on her neck.
SA had another example where this guy was masturbating to women on his Facebook, and goons were basically able to tell his friends that he was a pervert. Granted, he got what he deserved, but what if it was something innocent - like "oh this guy is gay" or "he likes furry porn?"
Likewise, once you put something out there, it's there forever. It's hard to tell 13 year olds that, because teens are still developing their decision making skills. Do we block teens who want to post "picslips" because they might get their self-esteem hurt (and, in places like NJ, labeled as a sex offender)? Or do we develop better programs to teach teens that the Internet is about as dangerous as driving a car?
It's an open-question imo. Just saying "well don't play along if you can't handle the fire" doesn't really stop anybody.
[QUOTE=Chernobyl426;41808062]I'm also curious as to why a parent doesn't just keep their kid off the computer. It's partially parenting that has kids feeling like nobody cares.[/QUOTE]
A lot of reasons:
1.) Sometimes families don't have the privilege of having parents around. Their parents might both work when they come home from school, or maybe they only have one parent (who, similarly, has to work to support the house).
2.) Sometimes a parent doesn't have time to understand the in's-and-out's of using a computer, while their children do. Growing up, Mom was a complete homemaker - she had way too much to handle in-between ironing, cooking, paying the bills, cleaning the house, fixing appliances, running errands, and picking the kids up. She still doesn't know how to use a computer, because she only gets an hour a day on AOL.
3.) A family might not have computer access at home, but they might have mobile access or library access. This is [b]very[/b] common for inner-city families. So a 13 year old who has an iPhone might have Facebook and tumblr on their services, and their parents might still be asking what the "i" stands for in "iPhone." Combine this with #1 and #2 above, and it creates a situation where a young child might have a [i]lot[/i] more privacy with their phone than us computer users did in the 90s.
When I was growing up, most of the online bullying came from #1 and #2. A lack of understanding mixed with a lack of time made online privacy very viable around the house, and very hard to watch.
[editline]12th August 2013[/editline]
Also, in regards to the first quote, there are a lot of internet sites that blur the line between "anonymous" and "real-life."
Reddit is a very good example. On our University's subreddit, we have one rule that states "You are probably not anonymous on here; This subreddit is read by students, professors, employers, and TAs." If you post with your main account on your University subreddit, you can be outed very easily, and create a long list of posts and places that are tied to your interests. I was by one of my friends, in fact.
I'm just very glad I didn't post on places like gonewild.
Lets hope none of these kids enter here, or it would be a cult-style suicide epidemic.
[video=youtube;fStdkvn4tnw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fStdkvn4tnw[/video]
we all know this is what happens with cyber bullying.
[QUOTE=RichyZ;41811691]yay a funny meme![/QUOTE]
i think you mean, ur a lair Lindsey
[QUOTE=RichyZ;41811534]quick someone give me a funny cyberbu11y mee-mee from knowyourmeme.com LOL[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=RichyZ;41811691]yay a funny meme![/QUOTE]
The appropriate reaction to retards is to tell them why they're retards; parody is often lost on them.
Plus it's really fucking annoying.
[QUOTE=RichyZ;41814872]2 jaded to tell them they're dumb and why[/QUOTE]
Well then kindly shut up.
The only "bullying" I've ever encountered online is in-game trash talk. And that isn't bullying.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;41814693]Really, all that is avoidable. IE: I never tie my accounts to anything on the internet if I feel I wouldn't want people finding my information.[/quote]
Just because something is avoidable does not mean we should turn a blind eye to it happening and blame the victim.
i.e.: There's a difference between blaming rape on the victim, and saying "There are measures you can take, but it's a much bigger social problem at hand than whether you're in a dark alley at night."
There seems to be this massive perception that the bully should be let free and the victim is the one responsible for whatever is happening. What kind of sense is that? The bully should be held responsible for anything that happens, because it is the bully's negligence and insensitivity that acts as a catalyst for any negative actions. We should be working towards creating an Internet experience without bullying and harassment. Some of those steps include social justice initiatives (i.e. fighting racism and misogyny within culture), but some of those steps also include teaching kids that their actions [i]affect others[/i] and you never know what emotional damage you can do to a vulnerable kid. In all my anti-bullying education over the years, that's a message we never received.
Also, every user's experience is different and some individuals will want to connect part of their real-life to the Internet life. While there are some inherently unwise choices you can make - i.e. posting your address or phone number - we shouldn't chide individuals who use their own image as a profile picture. It's not the victim's fault if the bully starts insulting them for their physical appearance, or uses their avatar as a springboard towards other accounts.
And, it's much more likely for women who identify their gender to be bullied than men who identify their gender. Is it the woman's fault for saying they're a woman? Should they just "deal with it?"
[quote]It lies in the hands of the victim to deal with cyber stalking and bullying. If someone was dedicated enough to find their accounts on everything and begin ruining someones life, they likely left some form of evidence of who they are, and the victim can press legal charges against them. In most cases however, very few people will be dedicated enough to ruin someones life over the internet. That isn't to say it doesn't happen, but it is so rare it's not really worth debating.[/QUOTE]
Cyber-stalking is actually incredibly common towards women; especially "internet celebrities" on sites like tumblr. I have one friend IRL whose ex-boyfriend constantly sends creepy anonymous messages over tumblr showing how much he obsessively cares about her. Many women over 1000 followers receive threatening and creepy anonymous messages daily by random misogynists who have it out for famous tumblr users.
Is it their fault for receiving that hate?
Also you're assuming that people suffering from cyberbullying can go to the police. In one case here in NJ, a friend of mine was viciously beat up by a gang in a hate crime. If she brought that case to the police, her family would be targeted. If a gang starts stalking an individual through the Internet, it's understandable that the victim would not want to go to the police. Getting the police involved is essentially suicide.
Getting help is a privilege for many people.
[QUOTE=BlkDucky;41804727]the bold parts are linked, you don't know what you're talking about[/QUOTE]
I'll answer differently.
[B]I was bullied between the ages of 10 and 16, so I'm probably not missing something here.[/B]
[B]I've never in my life understood why people are so up in arms over bullying.[/B]
I can relate. A lot of it happened to me here if I remember right. It was ways ago though.
Cyber-stalking.
Now I've seen it all.
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